All right, this is the end of the road, what you have been looking for all along. I know you wanna read this, so lets get started. This is both my last note and last letter. Reason it has come to this is what you have done to me. I’m sorry for ever meeting you in the first place and happy I am leaving a world where “people” like you exist. I have decided to end this once and for all. Why did you do it, that night? Why? What did I do to you to deserve this? After almost a year of my life […]
I came to share a story, and ended up staying a few days longer than expected. I am proud to have encountered each and every person that I’ve spoken with; regardless of what may, or may not, have been said.
My goal in life is simply to leave things better than the way I found them, yet I can not say with any certainty that I achieved that; though, I can, in one last effort, leave you with a few songs that may do what I could not.
This is what dealing with my anxiety looked like all through high school. And being bullied didn’t help my situation at all , I use to hide in my closet for hours with my headphones blasting My favorite music on repeat until each attack went away. I would cry myself to sleep wondering why I am the way I am. I wanted to commit suicide plenty of times , by cutting my wrist and watching myself bleed out. Thinking no one will miss me so why not , one period of time that really stuck out was My freshman year of high school where I […]
Honestly I don’t want to die. I just want this pain that I feel bury me, to go away .I want to truly be happy .That’s all I want .Juat to be happy, and the people around me to be happy. I only want true happiness. Do I have to die to achive that?
wanna die ..because she left me because of her friends….she dont have any feelings for me…feelings cant be expressed by writing ….just feel it…tried to move on bt cant…i just want to hang on bt i do care for my families..bt all this things hurted me soo much ..
I think that living is loving. And true love isn’t just a couple or something. True love is sacrifice. If you try to take love from others to fill your gap then you end up emptier and the others are missing the love you took. If you give love to others though, even if you don’t have love, if you give a piece of you away; you will find yourself more full than before. Loving is giving what you are missing. Love is really beyond logic, it doesn’t make sense, just like life. However, at the end, love is the only thing that remains and […]
What if Life has no meaning without being meaningless?
What if Life is the meaning?
What if we are meant to be alive?
It may sound obvious but are we really alive?
And if we are not, isn’t it time to become?
For the purpose of time I will try not to drag this out or go overly into detail, although with in each part of my story their are days and weeks I could divulge into, tearing apart the brutality of living and why ultimately I am now happy to live. Light does come, light will come, please let this be an aid of hope.
I grew up in a ‘broken home’ as you could say, both my parents were around through my childhood though it did more harm than good. They fought a lot and had a lot of their own ‘issues’, school was never much […]
Goodbye everyone!
I’ll remember you all in therapy
(imma be getting that help :D)
When death is so near, sometimes it walks on padded feet, strumming the ground like a guitarist, rhythmically – louder – softer, then with fingers on the wood, tap, tap… tap, tap. The sound is everywhere, no one can hear it but the poor fuck. It builds and then suddenly subsides, then as each pebble of doubt and every dark word is cast into the waters of his mind, the song builds again on each ripple. Inside his head each wave combines with the last, getting larger and larger. With the sound of the pebbles dropping into the water, cast by each tap, tap… tap, […]
Reality is boring, Humanity/Mankind must move beyond money & politics for real progress.
Although technology have been progressing rapidly nowadays, yet sadly in many aspects, Humanity/Mankind/Society still have slow progress; Everyday is still the same day & problems over and over again repeatedly.
I believe that in order to make a real progress for Humanity / Mankind, we must quickly focus & do the followings:
1) We must move beyond money & politics. It is outdated. A lot of problems in this world today basically stems from these two root causes (& also superstitions especially in religion, as well as in Ignorance & Stupidity due to failure in […]
My heart is on the floor around, and the sickness that has haunted me all my life, is taking a human form.
She [the sickness/disease ] is crawling to my knees to keep it’s weight on me, she doesn’t want me to move forward. At this time all I can make, is thoughts.
At times like these I like to gather my self into a greater form. I like to heal the wounds by giving them reasons and justifications – I’m walking alone, but I’m the one who is paving the path. Healing the woulds is something to be done with mind only.
But….
but the wounds keep coming […]
Last few months, that thing I have heard from people who care about me.
“Sometimes It takes a loss to gain something beautiful to your life.”
“You are like a vine or plant that are trying to grow and your ex-friend is a brick block your way out and weight you down…You have made so much of a process and she didn’t let herself to move one and grow from it. You are on right path. ”
“You are so sweet person with a good soul. Yes, we all make mistake and that makes us human. I have lived with an abuser for 6 years and you are not […]
It’s been a while since I’ve last been on here. As a matter of fact, it has been a while since I’ve confronted myself about what is going on around me. For the most part, I blame it on school. I have loads of work to do and having to balance it while also dealing with my parent’s bullshit takes up all my time. I guess part of the reason I have not been putting anything on here is also because I fear someone finding out that this account belongs to me. Anyways, things have been all over the place. I have relapsed twice last […]
It’s about to happen. I can feel it within me. The next phase is about to commence. I feel a great ache for growth. All the things i couldn’t do. All the things i didn’t do right in the past put me into a paralysis as soon as high school ended. And for 3 years time has just kinda went on its own. I feel like I’ve watched myself go through these past years in 3rd person view….almost as if i was in auto-pilot. Emptiness from realizing that things could have been better had i just not been so depressed. If i could have just […]
I am here. Simply as it is that. For few months, I was thinking that nothing is truly last. I lost someone, a good friend who I care and love very much. The last person, I would expect to lose. It takes me a while for me to recover from that loss. I didn’t want to believe it is my loss. Now I accept it happens to me and it does not matter if I deserve it or not. I simply lost someone and it affects my life in good and bad ways. I still have hard time to look at something I love such […]
Hi there, I’ve probably had suicidal thoughts for a little over half of my lifetime, but it has always been more of an academic debate for me, I would think about what my family would do without me, how my friends would feel, and I know I couldn’t go through with it. I don’t know why I never killed myself, I never really had any reason to stay alive, I wasn’t exactly the most promising kid I knew, I’m not athletic, I’m awkward as hell, and I’m not even that attractive…
And I had every reason to do it…
My stepdad was abusive, and made me […]
In the last month, I felt on a breaking point. I opened this site because I had to write, for my own mental health. I had to put it all out. for fuck sake.
The untold story by many suicide attempts (and survivors) is what pushed them. Most of them (***) are talking about miss understanding the reality itself. I wish to ask them – how can you understand a reality where you have been the victim of abuse? How can you explain to yourself ” oh everything can be perfect” when each day is just you avoiding the damage?
I want to post here in this […]
Hi guys its goooodguyyy!:D
i know i said that i won’t be back until i do the exam. but i just checked sp i thought maybe its good if i talk about the way i was doing these months.
yeah i said i was trying to make a difference and a change in me and my life and since then i have failed 23 times(today is counted). i have tried and failed,tried and failed:D. well, i know im not perfect but i am forgiving, i may not be where i should be but im making progress, im moving forward im not where i used to be 🙂
since […]
Hey you. You can still live that way. Living with a heavy heart, a chaotic mind, that’s fine. You can use it as your strength. Being like that pushes yourself to be better. You’re an artist. You can let out your demons in your drawings. You can draw your own world. You can express anything through your pen. If it hurts, draw! Drawing is a big part of your life, you know that without this, you’re useless! Being able to draw is a gift for you! It serves as your protector in life! Even if sometimes you can’t draw, remember that you draw to live. […]