For those who have survived suicide.
torched
torched in a blackendd mirror
asleep among violets
amid sunrise catastrophe
i cannot live
Category:
Suicidal Survivors
Schizoanalysis yields the gray room when and only when the rhizome comes from the corpus arcum, the body with no organs, the space without limits.
Outside the body, all analysis is possible.
And you can see how this “practice” is completely opposite to a perfect pragmatic approach. It may be difficult to apply your mental faculties when you are focusing all of your Selfhood into a rhizome, and reflecting that Being endlessly back into an undifferentiated fog of experience with no tangible aspect.
I pray to the God who sleeps, that he may take my organs swiftly! Leave me barren, Lord!
“I don’t believe in luck! I create my own luck!”. Most people seriously underestimate how luck plays a BIG/HUGE factor in life.
by niki
written by niki
A friend of mine used to tweet a phrase that always sticks with me: “Some people are lucky, some people are not.” That was some years ago, and the more I live now, the more I see (& realized/learned) that it’s true. Most people seriously underestimate how luck plays a BIG/HUGE factor in their lives. Or in life, for all that matters. I don’t know and I’m not sure if it’s due to the meritocracy thing (“If you work hard, you WILL succeed/reach success!”), or if it’s due to the ‘positive/optimistic’ self-help culture/trend/hype that is literally almost everywhere nowadays, etc etc. But I think it’s […]
In feb of this year i cut my radial artery in my wrist. I just lost my best friend my twin flame my guy. Never got to say goodbye or sorry. I have had many suicide atrempts unfortunately but this one amd the one previous should have been the last. I dont remember doing it i just remember holding my arm i realizing it was bad cause it was squirting like in the movies. . My first thought was not to get help it was to proceed to get into the bath tub and let it happen. Not sure how much time passed but i […]
What’s on your mind, bud? Talk to me.
I know you came on this website to see what people have to say, to see if you can leave any comments. And I also know that you want to leave comments on people to help them with the shit they’re going through.
SCREW THAT. THAT’S NOT WHY YOU’RE HERE. YOU’RE HERE BECAUSE YOU NEED HELP, YOU NEED SOMEONE WHO’LL LISTEN.
I WILL LISTEN.
Leave a comment, let’s talk. I’ll listen. No judgement, no problem-solving (unless you want it). I’ll try my best to understand, I’ll try my best to here you until you’re through, and most importantly I WILL NOT LEAVE […]
Warning: mentions of self harm and other sensitive content. I’ll try to be vague on certain words. sorry if it triggers you, this is to make you feel like you’re not alone.
My mother was forced down and forced into intercourse with my father, who she was with for 16 years at the time when she got pregnant with me. SHE HATED ME FOR IT! she attempted to get an abortion, then failed. My father even attempted to throw my mother out a window, and luck was on my side as they failed to do so.
Growing was equally as miserable for me. my father was abusive […]
So yeah I thought i would never come back here. But yo still here. I stopped posting here for over a year now. Does anyone remember me? If someone does, that means you’re still here huh? I hope you guys are doing much better than before. Even if you guys aren’t fully healed yet, at least much better than before. Me? as usual I still have it in me. Even if I’m a better version of me now, It’s still there. I still feel it. I still see it. I’ll probably continue posting again huh. Hello to my SP friends!
This is my story about why I almost killed myself back in late November of 2019. Most of the time when we hear suicide we get this idea of someone doing it because they want “the pain to stop” or they feel that suicide is the only way out. Well, that’s not why I almost killed myself. I did it out of sheer guilt. A little backstory as to what lead to this was that I had a friend that I unintentionally made feel uncomfortable multiple times throughout the fall semester of my junior year at college. Nothing that I did was sexual in any […]
i cannot ascertain, fathom, or comprehend any aspect. This singular existence forces me into an infinitely internal personality, i find myself within to the extent i am not within.
in my self i lose my self.
the intentional anitmony, contrived. it’sallasymptomatthispoint
Well, i’m still alive.
Spent 15 years trying to kill myself. spent 3 in recovery.
it got better, for a time.
But any day would still be a good day to die.
i live risky. ride a motorbike, pass on curves n hills i cant see the end of, that kinda thing.
i wish it would be a mater of time but it wont be.
i’m doomed to live here for the rest of my miserable life.
i lived a shitty existence, i was a piece of shit for 20 years… now i have to spend the rest of this garbage life making up for it.
i feel like i’m walking through a […]
If you could restart, would you?
I have a debate with the voices in my head on this question. The reason I’m still alive is because I know I’ll be missed. I don’t know why they would miss me on some days. I find myself useless. But sometimes I think about how I am a survivor of all the bad times and all the times I wanted to hurt. I am a survivor to all the times I wanted it to end, of the times I was assaulted. I still stayed, and yes I look around and think to myself all the ways I could stop. […]
I really want to die but im still too scared to do it alone even though ive been trying and failing for years now
Ten years ago I found my depression, and lost my mind
Nine years ago I found my first razor, and lost my body
Eight year ago I found the pill bottle, and nearly lost my life
Seven years ago everyone found out I was gay
Six years ago I lost my ROTC scholarship
Five years ago I lost my friends
Four years ago I lost my family
Three years ago I lost the national championship
Two years ago I lost my passion
Last year I lost my best friend (and soul mate)
Six months ago I lost motivation
Last week I lost my sanity
Yesterday […]
Arthritis is one hell of a injury. I have had two finger surgeries if anyone has read my posts through out the community. It delivers a shockwave of pain through your nervous system. I have freak injuries. One day I woke up, nothing unusual happened, but when I woke, I was in a tremendous amount of eye pain. I lost bottom muscle of your eye, which is suppose to hold eye in your place but now it sits on top of the bone socket, and hurts like a living hell. I saw two eye doctors, no big specialist, they count diagnose me. I know for […]
Maybe I overthink things. I can’t focus. My head hurts. Too many drugs. I want to live in a world where I don’t have to take drugs to feel something, hide a panic attack every single fucking day of my life, and not have to care what others think of me. Not put forward this bubbly yellow goodie goodie everyone thinks I am. That had to switch to online school because she was in and out of the hospital every other week. Depression, anxiety, P.T.S.D. ,insomnia ,anorexia, fucking daddy issues. All things that exist. And never seem real until they have happened to […]
I’ve been suicidal since I was twelve years old, the first time I was hospitalized for an attempt. Maybe it started when I was eleven or ten; it gets fuzzy as the years pass. I was diagnosed with Bipolar I and CPTSD – the double whammy of extreme proportions. I thought that when I stopped doing drugs, started taking medication, started exercising, left my abusive relationship, started my transfer to a prestigious university, etc. etc. a million.. I thought these feelings would leave me. I thought that the traumatic memories, the extremes of mood, I thought that they would all disappear. Here I am, the […]
Hello, I see that this is a site where people share how sad they are and there are some helpful people out there. I hope I can get some nice feedback from others. I want to start off by saying that I am 21 years old. My grandma had passed away and it took a big toll on me. My family too of course, but for me I wanted to die. Ive attempted to kill myself and this sweet genuine old lady passed away and in my eyes it wasn’t her time to go. It honestly should’ve been me. Recently I’ve been kicked out of […]
I’ve tries to attempt suicide so many times I’ve lost count, but they never worked. about a month ago I deiced to take a whole bottle of pills my doctor gave me for my insomnia. At first I just felt high so I just laid there on my bed and listened to music and I could feel myself stop breathing but I started again. I get up went to the closet and throwing up. and let me remind you all this was before school, so I’m coming down stairs and I cant keep my balance at all so I just tried to play it off. […]
If it wasn’t for my boyfriend idk where I would be at. I’m honestly so blessed to have him. as some people know that have read my rants and stuff I’ve been crying everyday for a couple of months and almost 2-5 times a day and just been hurting really bad and hating who I am and suicide was a heavy thought on my mind. But if it wasn’t for him I’m pretty sure I would be gone. He deals with my mental break downs and when I cry and when I get angry and when I’m numb. We do argue a lot but he […]
“Life is a gift! Live, laugh, love! You only live once (YOLO)! Thank God! Life is beautiful!” etc etc. Well, not really. Wake up and open your eyes to reality.
by niki
written by niki
Only those people who are lucky & fortunate in life who can loudly say that life is a gift. The reality is, not everyone is fortunate. In fact, most people on this planet live in pain & sufferings just barely enough to survive. And then, even if people live in the first-world developed countries like in U.S or Europe for example, there are ironically still people who are depressed, and even suicidal/commit suicide. If life is a gift, like most people nowadays keep saying, then why all those reality exist? The only answer I can think of is: it is human’s nature perhaps for (most) […]