Suicidal Survivors

For those who have survived suicide.

4

I did my first attempt today..

  June 5th, 2017 by GerbzBaby

Today I attempted to kill myself by overheating in the car. I drove to school, parked in the lot and didn’t get out. I was sitting in there for over an hour and a half. The only reason why I’m here now was because my best friend saved me. I texted him as I was sitting in the car telling him about how much I was sorry and how I appreciated him a lot for all he has done. I was practically telling him goodbye.. He got worried (I think as any other great friend would do in this situation) and asked me were I …

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5

Just counting down the days

  May 29th, 2017 by The riddler

June 3rd, 2016 was the day I snapped. I drove my car into a light pole at about 100kph. I just couldn’t/can’t handle life anymore. First responders arrived, I admitted to the crash being due to me wanting to die, and not losing control of the car. I was taken to the hospital where I was drugged up and put through extensive testing. I guess it was considered a serious crash even though I had no physical injuries. The next day I was transferred to a mental hospital for a 3 week term where I was supposed to become a mentally healthy individual that can …

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3

The Light At The End Of THIS Tunnel Is An Oncoming Train

  May 21st, 2017 by Milestiba

Hi. I am new.

They sure don’t make it easy to get on here. I first registered an account, but found out that email provider had deleted my account. Without being able to check that email account, I couldn’t get a password. So I registered a second account and never got the email. Then I reset the password and THAT email finally came through. So, I could sign in and try and participate. But then, of course, the internet on my phone acted up!! For a person who spent the last three nights on the phone with more than one crises line each night – the …

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2

What is reality?

  May 19th, 2017 by Alfred1688

As we try to survive in this world we live in

We seek out meaning for the life that was given

Some search for it their entire youth

Yet little find it or see the truth

Majority give up when all hope is lost

Others are consumed by the lies they came across

We all believe it gets better after it gets worse

But those words do not apply on this curse

Even if we tried to satisfy every need

There is no cure for one’s greed

It destroys us like a cancer

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3

january 27 – 11:47PM

I always give too much To a friend or to a lover and i cant seem to understand why my giving is never equal to what i receive and i have never felt the kind of happiness i see in their eyes on mine when i am being returned the favor They seem happier than me and […]

2

the back story

  May 9th, 2017 by sailorsfight

First of all sorry for posting such a lenghty post i just have so much to tell n i havent done it ever before. So forgive me if i am taking too much of your time.
So in my last post i stated that i attempted ending my life, becoz of the person that i loved the most was asking me for what was more the just hurfull but also too damn insane for anybody i guess. But yes i did have to let it on her what she wants and so did she. This all started when she told me that she has started liking …

11

fight it

  May 8th, 2017 by sailorsfight

I am 26 years old, sailor by profession. I am a very shy and let alone type of a guy, had problems making friends as a child. As i grew up i became even more emotional and sensitive. People say i am smart but i dont feel like it, I think i am average. I think i am a kind and a good hearted person but i do get evil thoughts at times and i have to fight to get them out telling myself “those are bad thoughts”. Since my teenage days i have had suicidal thoughts. I have been in ” in love” situations …

8

I need help

  May 8th, 2017 by peachmuffin143

I was a bit sceptical about this site at first. Then I read every post and thought to myself that I’m not alone. I was desperate to fix everything. I was hurt to see others hurt. I tried my best to help them and in the mean time I struggle with own troubles. I HATE to say this…but I HATE that particular person. And I HATE myself for hating her. I hate that I have to admit that I’m weak….I’m insecure. I hate everything. I live for years coping with anxiety and depression.

I met with several counsellors in my life. Now I’m 20 years old …

3

I ALMOST LOST HIM.

  May 3rd, 2017 by Baked13

Him. My best friend, my only love, my everything. I almost lost him to a shot in the head.
I wasn’t allowed to see him in ICU today and I almost replicated his actions just get myself in there next to him.
I am excruciating pain but i know he is too. Emotional pain and physical. I’ve cursed myself over and over for letting him go. Lying to myself that i do not need him and yet he is my support and my back bone.
He isn’t happy. Darning himself for being so careless with his act, cursing himself for being so useless he failed at his own …

1

I seen it happen

  May 1st, 2017 by augusttwentysixteen

PLEASE READ…

I know my own little segment I am about to write may be pointless to most people, but I want to share my story to some people. To all those people, learning how to tie a noose, or learning what you can drink to die faster, or even learning the best pill to take to end your life, please don’t. As a child of suicide, I’ve come to realize how goddamn pointless other people’s pleas to not end your life can be. I mean, I tried to end my life a total of 10 or 11 times, I really stopped keeping track after the …

6

WHY is it so FU(£ING difficult to LOG IN HERE!???

  April 24th, 2017 by bobbywylie

I can see the reasoning behind keeping a site like this….well….discrete, I guess. But, you know, I’ve wanted, on a couple of occasions, to sign in and TALK to people (when I’ve been NEAR FUCKING KILLING MYSELF!!), but I can’t figure out how to fucking LOG IN so I can COMMUNICATE!!! WTF?!!!

There’s no LOG IN details when you visit this site! You may be DESPERATE – and you may well be RIGHT ON THE FUCKING EDGE AND DESPERATE TO TALK TO LIKE-MINDED PEOPLE, but……how the fuck do you GET IN!????????

 I managed to log on ONLY because I inadvertantly clicked on somebody’s POST! Is that how

1

I Will Overcome !

  April 23rd, 2017 by Addiictivetragedy

Mind like quicksand, but I try to stay above land.
Kaleidoscope of different scenarios. Life falling in a burial. Heart broken like shattered glass, not healing no mater how much time has passed. Haunted dreams every night, becoming weaker after every fight. Can’t distinguish what is real or in my head, every night laying on my deathbed. Anxiety, bipolar and PTSD, is slowly overpowering me.
Suicidal Thoughts but I’m afraid of death, continuous thoughts of how I will lose my last breath. Anxious, anxious all the time, but with meds they tell I’ll be just fine. Irritable, angry, sadden and scared, all through my mind like a …

2

Tried (twice) and Failed (twice).

  April 23rd, 2017 by bobbywylie

You’d have thought that, after my first attempt, way back when I was 19 years old (I’m in my 50s now), I may have learned a thing or three. Twice I attempted suicide – wholeheartedly, I might add – and twice some unplanned outside “influence” got in the way. The first time, I was just so alone, very few friends (I didn’t know how to make them), no job, no girlfriend, nothing to live for. I was into drugs at the time – I’d taken LSD (and had a couple of pretty nasty, as well as good, trips), and I was pretty much dependent on dope (grass). I …

1

Blossom

  April 23rd, 2017 by Addiictivetragedy

You used your words, I used my heart. I became unheard, you became a dart. I reached out, you pushed away. I started to doubt but I was forced to stay.
Growing a flower, supposed to be a blessing. but you had the power. And I was left stressing..
Far from family , no one but you,
Loss of gravity, my hatred grew.
You where supposed to be my happy ending, but this chapter was just beginning.
My flower blossomed, she is so beautiful, I became cautioned, you grew so pitiful. Yelling and abusing, but with no bruising. I tried to flee, your family didn’t agree.. threatened like a thief …

4

The choice to end my life is mine. The only thing standing in my way is my fear of failing again. I almost died in November I overdosed on aspirin which a lot of people think you cant do but you can. I almost passed out on the bathroom floor but I decided I would […]

0

Battle Scars: 2017 Update

  April 16th, 2017 by Counting The Days Until I'm gone

Today commemorates eight months since I have gotten the urge to turn to this forum. At my last visit, I was broken, and quite humorously, at this visit, broken no longer can summate my existence. In exactly one year, I have had few victories and so much pain and deception that I have crawled back into the safety of my introvercy. Since my last visit, (when I was a 18 year old bum, not attending school) I have made some progression. I currently work, go to school and volunteer regularly but my battle scars are still present, Scars that refuse to heal, scars which threaten …

22

Has Anyone Survived an Acetaminophen Cocktail Overdose?

  March 26th, 2017 by Bree9

Has anyone tried going out using over-the-counter drugs, specifically in the acetaminophen category?  (I won’t give specific brand medication examples to prevent my post being taken down). Did it hurt or did you just go unconscious? How did you feel? Did you have organ damage? Were you hospitalized? I want to know what happened but most of all, I want to know if it HURT?

5

Blank

  March 19th, 2017 by Zelrot

I lost my baby within three years of her birth. Before that, I was moderately depressed. Once in a while I would break down into tears, I was even afraid to look in the mirror. I’ve seen myself as a monster most of my life. If not I as a monster, then I as someone surrounded by them. I’ve been married to my husband for quite a while now, I love him dearly but his depression only piles onto mine. He’s put a gun to his head around 238 times now, once just recently. He pulled the trigger all but that last time, all bullets …

13

Failed before I started

  March 16th, 2017 by Vsgfail

I was waiting for a refill. They refused to give me anymore. I am now stuck. I don’t know what to do.

I need to do more research. Why can’t we simply choose not to exist?

I simply want to sleep and never wakeup.

So back to square one.

13

New to the site

  March 3rd, 2017 by TrIeD2mAnYtImEs

I’m a 37 year old recently divorced recently homeless recently incarcerated recently fired bipolar schizo affective civil engineer. I’ve been searching through the internet, found this site and signed up today. The posts I’ve read today helped me through my depression that i face for about 40-70% of each day. I had a rough childhood and had my first suicidal thoughts at 13. I fought it for ten years and took an attempt on my life at 23 (pills)…things just got harder. I tried a few more times slit wrists, pyschotropic pills and electrocution. Any thoughts or information on how to navigate the site would …