Category:

Suicidal Survivors

For those who have survived suicide.

I’m not in Hell, I feel it

by Todamnbad 5/12/2020

written by Todamnbad

Arthritis is one hell of a injury. I have had two finger surgeries if anyone has read my posts through out the community. It delivers a shockwave of pain through your nervous system. I have freak injuries. One day I woke up, nothing unusual happened, but when I woke, I was in a tremendous amount of eye pain. I lost bottom muscle of your eye, which is suppose to hold eye in your place but now it sits on top of the bone socket, and hurts like a living hell. I saw two eye doctors, no big specialist, they count diagnose me. I know for […]

5/12/2020 2 comments

spaced out

by Dancingfigurines 5/10/2020

written by Dancingfigurines

Maybe I overthink things. I can’t focus. My head hurts. Too many drugs. I want to live in a world where I don’t have to take drugs to feel something, hide a panic attack every single fucking day of my life, and not have to care what others think of me. Not put forward this bubbly yellow goodie goodie everyone thinks I am. That had to switch to online school because she was in and out of the hospital every other week. Depression, anxiety, P.T.S.D. ,insomnia ,anorexia, fucking daddy issues. All things that exist. And never seem real until they have happened to […]

5/10/2020 0 comment

Ten years ago and counting

by ladicius 5/1/2020

written by ladicius

I’ve been suicidal since I was twelve years old, the first time I was hospitalized for an attempt. Maybe it started when I was eleven or ten; it gets fuzzy as the years pass. I was diagnosed with Bipolar I and CPTSD – the double whammy of extreme proportions. I thought that when I stopped doing drugs, started taking medication, started exercising, left my abusive relationship, started my transfer to a prestigious university, etc. etc. a million.. I thought these feelings would leave me. I thought that the traumatic memories, the extremes of mood, I thought that they would all disappear. Here I am, the […]

5/1/2020 1 comment

I want to hurt myself, I’m so sad.

by ays_ 4/16/2020

written by ays_

Hello, I see that this is a site where people share how sad they are and there are some helpful people out there. I hope I can get some nice feedback from others. I want to start off by saying that I am 21 years old. My grandma had passed away and it took a big toll on me. My family too of course, but for me I wanted to die. Ive attempted to kill myself and this sweet genuine old lady passed away and in my eyes it wasn’t her time to go. It honestly should’ve been me. Recently I’ve been kicked out of […]

4/16/2020 2 comments

Almost suicide

by Friday 4/16/2020

written by Friday

I’ve tries to attempt suicide so many times I’ve lost count, but they never worked. about a month ago I deiced to take a whole bottle of pills my doctor gave me for my insomnia. At first I just felt high so I just laid there on my bed and listened to music and I could feel myself stop breathing but I started again. I get up went to the closet and throwing up. and let me remind you all this was before school, so I’m coming down stairs and I cant keep my balance at all so I just tried to play it off. […]

4/16/2020 2 comments

I decided. And I chose him

by Tryingtoholdon123 4/12/2020

written by Tryingtoholdon123

If it wasn’t for my boyfriend idk where I would be at. I’m honestly so blessed to have him. as some people know that have read my rants and stuff I’ve been crying everyday for a couple of months and almost 2-5 times a day and just been hurting really bad and hating who I am and suicide was a heavy thought on my mind. But if it wasn’t for him I’m pretty sure I would be gone. He deals with my mental break downs and when I cry and when I get angry and when I’m numb. We do argue a lot but he […]

4/12/2020 0 comment

“Life is a gift! Live, laugh, love! You only live once (YOLO)! Thank God! Life is beautiful!” etc etc. Well, not really. Wake up and open your eyes to reality.

by niki 4/11/2020

written by niki

Only those people who are lucky & fortunate in life who can loudly say that life is a gift. The reality is, not everyone is fortunate. In fact, most people on this planet live in pain & sufferings just barely enough to survive. And then, even if people live in the first-world developed countries like in U.S or Europe for example, there are ironically still people who are depressed, and even suicidal/commit suicide. If life is a gift, like most people nowadays keep saying, then why all those reality exist? The only answer I can think of is: it is human’s nature perhaps for (most) […]

4/11/2020 5 comments

Decisions decisions……..

by Tryingtoholdon123 4/7/2020

written by Tryingtoholdon123

This constant hate for myself has been getting overwhelming. Honestly suicide has started to become a huge option. I try to think positively of myself and about my life but I can’t and it’s really hard. I know there are peoples life’s worse than mine but I just don’t like myself and I always feel like I don’t deserve to live. I’ve been crying everyday of my life for the past couple of months non stop about 2-5 times a day. My body has become so weak and I always feel exhausted for all this crying but get 4 hours or less sleep a day. […]

4/7/2020 2 comments

My roller coaster

by justlilme33 4/3/2020

written by justlilme33

I can’t fit my whole life into just this page, but I have dealt with depression, multiple types of anxiety, anorexia, adhd, insomnia, chronic migraines, and ocd almost my whole life. There have been times where I have been one step away from suicide. I have called the suicide hotline, wrote suicide letters, etc. I was supposed to be admitted before this coronavirus panic started and now I am stuck in my house with a father that doesn’t understand. I have my good days, but my bad days are so much lower than my good days are high. Sometimes I wonder if it’s worth dealing […]

4/3/2020 0 comment

Finding a reason

by disorientedlies 4/2/2020

written by disorientedlies

A couple of years ago I had many attempts of suicide, since then I’ve been trying to get help. Everything gets in the way, stopping me from helping myself. I try and find reasons to start over new or someone for that matter. Now I feel numb and without a single care.

In our household music is everything. I push myself every night to add more and more hours onto my piano practice, until my hands cramp and I can’t play any longer. I sometimes get really angry where I pull at my hair and make my skin bleed, usually screaming my head off, there is […]

4/2/2020 4 comments

Life sucks and then you die

by niki 4/1/2020

written by niki

Some people are lucky; Some people are not.
The more you learn about this world and society, the more you will realize that Life is random (chances), and yes, Life is not fair. Reality is depressing.

Most people who still always keep saying that “if you work hard, you will be successful!” are naive, ignorant, and simple-minded typical “optimistic/positive/happy-go-lucky” people you always see everywhere. And even for those people who realized it and therefore said that what’s important is to “work smart”, it also usually often means to be sly, cunning, opportunistic bastards who are too often selfish, pricks, ruthless, cold, heartless, and only care about […]

4/1/2020 4 comments

Soul Cancer

by cloud 3/31/2020

written by cloud

yes, this shit is a soul cancer, depression is even worse than body cancer, it kills your soul , and once ur soul is dead, u are dead even if ur body keeps moving. and thats where we start thinking of commiting suicide cuz thats the only option we see, we are dead, so we want to kill the only thing left which is the body.

that bing said , i hope i dont reach that stage , am getting worse evveryday but am trying to fight back even tho i lose most of my battles vs depression, anxiety, overthinking and negativity . i am having […]

3/31/2020 3 comments

Add New Post

by morieris 3/14/2020

written by morieris

I’ve been here since then. Reading your life. Yes. You people. But I think it’s my turn.

We’re here because we’re all sad. Reality.

Here’s a start. I’m diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder. For years now. I discovered this website while I was searching for ways how to die or commit suicide then there it is. Pooof. I was not alone. In fact some are worse than my thoughts. But hell, we all have our own kinds of worst. Still I’ve done things I do not regret and wished it succeeded.

I’m sad. Always been sad. You already know guys how it feels. To be depressed. It just […]

3/14/2020 3 comments

Where is this going?

by RoSe98 2/16/2020

written by RoSe98

I’ve made a lot of mistakes. I never said i was a good person. Ive always said i was a bad person. Am i? But is there really a black and white definition of a good person or a bad person? Most would say its your actions that speak your truth. But everyone has been horrid or a little rude to someone and everyone has been the slightest bit sweet to another. Where is the breaking point? Where is the point of no return? When does good become bad…and can you have a come back?
I ask you this because ive been cruel and ive […]

2/16/2020 3 comments

Life is not fair

by niki 2/9/2020

written by niki

Life is not fair

Some people are lucky,
Some people are not

Some people live a successful & happy life,
Some people fail miserably & even commit suicide

Everything is just only a random chance

The universe doesn’t care
We are just only a tiny little speck of dust in this vast universe

Nothing matters.

2/9/2020 6 comments

To grow up and being an adult (adulthood) is overrated and depressing

by niki 2/7/2020

written by niki

When we grow up into being an adult, often we are pressured to be “realistic”. But at what cost? Too often, especially when you’re not ‘lucky/fortunate’ enough, all this whole “adulthood” and “grow up” things just turned us into a jaded, weary, bitter, cynical, apathy, limited, empty, cold, sad, & depressed person/individual..

The young, youthful, carefree, freespirit, creative, lively, happy, & dreamy/dreamer “child” / “childhood” in us often times slowly have died.. as we grow up into being an adult..

And for many people, it also usually means that we have to “let go”, or to be more honest & real, I would say that we are […]

2/7/2020 6 comments

Shadows in my mind and heart

by Indianagav 1/17/2020

written by Indianagav

I’ve been considering ending it all. The first girl I ever opened myself to has left me. She helped me through abuse and sexual assault. I’m a male and never talked about it to anyone. To keep her I broke my family and my relationship with them. I had three mentors, all in February took their lives one after another. My girl left me on Christmas eve, right after I came home from MEPS to join the army. I passed but now I wished I didn’t. It’s difficult when shaving to not just slice my neck. I shave with a straight razor. I may stop […]

1/17/2020 4 comments

Being a good and nice person is not enough

by niki 12/17/2019

written by niki

You also must be ‘smart’ especially in terms of knowing how to make money. And often times, that also means you also have to be opportunistic, follow the system & rules (just like everybody else), even be cunning, sly, ruthless, brash, full of tricks, greedy, selfish, ready to step on other people who are ‘weaker’ (eg: poorer, etc).

Money is everything in our modern society today, unfortunately. It’s all about money nowadays. And if you can’t beat the system, then you have to join them. Everyday you are forced to survive, or for survival. And if you’re not strong enough to follow the system/rules, then too […]

12/17/2019 3 comments

i attempted, i survived

by afreen 12/14/2019

written by afreen

I’m 14 years old, a high school freshman.
i finally gathered my thoughts and emotions and decided I was ready several weeks ago. i’ve been struggling with severe anxiety and depression for years now. shit, can’t even stand in front of my class at school without wanting to shrivel up and die. so i attempted.

my suicide was not impulsive. i planned and researched for weeks. i decided to do it on a friday, so i wouldn’t have to wake up early the next day for school. i did it. i took 31 tylenol, and some other random pills in our medicine cabinet. according to my […]

12/14/2019 4 comments

A miracle.

by anonyy 11/18/2019

written by anonyy

May 15, 12:44AM

it’s a school night, i was supposed to sleep early to work on my important project, but something happened. i took 7 tablets of (?), i don’t know why i took them, shoved them down my throat and casually went to bed, after 10 minutes i felt this terrible pain in my stomach and my eyes were about to burst “it’s nothing” i said, and tried to sleep, but it only got worse so i decided to ask for help. searched the tablets name on google, “the lethal dosage could be as low as 4 tablets for a grown-up” “Do not […]

11/18/2019 1 comment

Newer Posts

Older Posts