Suicidal Survivors

For those who have survived suicide.

4

Almost Done

  August 25th, 2017 by Almond801

I’ve been writing my goodbyes for a long time. They’ve never been quite right. They start out with gratitude and subtle apology but I get lost after that. I don’t feel grateful or sorrowful. I don’t feel much beyond the negative spectrums anymore. I’ll get brief bursts, like sun bursts through the clouds, but they are gone often while still happening. I have lived for myself but it was empty. I have lived for others and repeatedly failed in it. I have lived in transition while searching for solutions and believing that there must be another way.

Day after day it gets harder to breathe. I …

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1

They are back.

  August 23rd, 2017 by Eccedentesiastsoul

Lately I’ve ben having these migraines that take everything that’s in me to stand. It’s not new, I used to have them daily until they somehow, the same pain transferred to my stomach. I got it checked out by a doctor long back and he gave me pills and said I was fine to go. Now the pain is back and it’s stronger than ever. I’m not being over dramatic or anything but it hurts to the point where I actually think there’s something wrong with me. Before I got back to my country I got a strong one and I literally cried myself to …

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3

Back home.

  August 21st, 2017 by Eccedentesiastsoul

Things are back to getting worse. I don’t know if I can proceed anymore, go threw all the upcoming months, get a year older, it’s just too much. I still have to finish high school and I don’t know how to feel about that. I want to escape. Get as far away as I can from this country but in order to do so I’ll have to get a scholarship and because of my background I don’t think I’ll be able to get one. Even if I do get one, I won’t be accepted for who I am, or at least I don’t think I …

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52

You Don’t Know What’s Good For You

  August 19th, 2017 by Angel of Life

WARNING: It is not enough if you have read these techniques.  You must put actually put the techniques into practice! Everyday we are expected talk softly to suicidal people and treat them as though they are rational and understand how the brain works. They don’t. If you don’t understand that you REALLY don’t know about mental illness and you better read carefully to the end. You are the only one who can fix this and unfortunately you have no training, education or experience to do so, and the disease you have actually tries to stop you from fixing it. I was depressed until the age …

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4

I am a disappointment

  August 18th, 2017 by haterlivet

One thing i´ve always thought of is that it´s so scary when someone mentally ill and suicidal (me) falls in love. We start feeling whole again. Like we´ve got a purpose, a reason to be here and a reason to start and try.

But one thing that really scares me and hurts me inside to think of  is that; what happens when the person who´s saved me leaves? What happens when the person takes away all the hope and love and beauty and rip out all the stitches they used to put in their partner together again and the broken soul is left worse than they …

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5

Suicide without hurting others

  August 18th, 2017 by haterlivet

I want to end my life, But i want to end it in a way that doesnt hurt the people around me. I’ve come to learn that this life really aint for me, i tried for so many years to stay strong and fight the pain Im feeling, But its absolutely impossible and Nobody really understands the mental illness Im going through. I dont really like to talk about my depression to a lot of people, Cause they think that Im calling for attention or that its no big of a deal. But i really wish They knew What Im going through

My biggest problem is …

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1

I’m stuck in this existence

  August 15th, 2017 by tardis21

My first post…

So I have bipolar disorder. Unspecified type. Spent the last year constantly seeing the mental health team. Two visits in a mental hospital. One visit to hospital after my OD.

I try to be happy but I’m just not. It’s so hard to pretend. I have ran out of energy to carry it on. After the first time I OD’D, the thought of ending my life excites me. The thought of the pain ending. Physical and mental. It’s all I think about. It’s so selfish since I have children. But I don’t feel of much use to them. My partner doesn’t understand I don’t …

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6

I hate my body

  August 13th, 2017 by an_old_child

I really hate my body. I’m not fat, I’m not too ugly, I’m  just covered with scars and a I hate it when I sweat. I actually hate my skin. I’m only 19 and I should be beautiful at this age. I can resist my stretch marks because almost everyone has them so they are natural but I can’t stand my scars. My body is full of those red things. They first appeared the first time I shaved my body hair and now they are everywhere on my hands and legs. I used to have tones of acnes on my face and now they’re gone …

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2

9am thoughts

  August 8th, 2017 by Eccedentesiastsoul

Okay. So I don’t really know how this works. What if someone I know finds this, what then? How am I going to explain all this. When people I know see my cuts they judge and say I do it for attention so what will they think if they ever found this? I just need my space, I want to be able to express my thoughts without being scared but I guess fear is always going to be there.

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1

wednesday – 1:01AM

  July 25th, 2017 by suicidalkitty

What frustrates me so much is that this sickness taps on my windows on cold, stormy days, begging me not to sleep. It sits on my lap taunting me to caress its soft but stinging, midnight fur. In busy crowds, it whispers my name as i walk, telling me sugar-coated stories of how it made at least 5 souls drain out all the sadness inside of them in thick red in the last 4 hours it left me so i could finally close my eyes and sleep. But on days where i sleep longer and wake up waiting for its thick cloud to suffocate me, i …

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7

xx

  June 26th, 2017 by Folfanda

Yesterday was my birthday, things weren’t looking up so I took about 20 of the only over the counter sleeping pill my parent’s had (they don’t take much) and I swallowed them down with a soda. I though it would be a peaceful, surreal, almost lovely experience, but as I sat outside on the hammock I started to feel dazed and tired, my body just kind of bobbed around for a few minutes, I thought I could just lay down and drift, but the feeling only intensified, and though its what I wanted, naturally my body responded negatively to the effects of the pills, and

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6

40… still breathing

  June 25th, 2017 by Milestiba

I don’t write much because it takes my phone forever on this site to type on a post. Infuriating!! Commenting is easier. So my post is in comments below.

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6

why God tortured me like that?

  June 24th, 2017 by an_old_child

after years of suffering, it’s getting good at last.

i think i’m feeling happy and it seems to last for a while. the question here is, why did God tortured me like that?

i know that the day would come that everything will turn upside down again and i will feel down and suicidal -since no happiness is everlasting and no sadness, too- and i think that i’m not ready for that day.

i definitely feel stronger than before all these things happened to me – i don’t really want to say what i’m referring to by “these” – but i don’t like the idea of being put …

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8

Here to listen to you

Here to listen to you

  June 23rd, 2017 by LostInDebt

Hi guys,

I thought I should be a leaning shoulder to several people out there willing to put an abrupt end to their lives.

Firstly, it is safe to say I have been down that road as well and I know exactly what it feels like to be empty and isolated. I held on to one string (scratch that, two strings actually) : my pregnant girlfriend and God… If my girlfriend wasn’t pregnant, I probably wouldn’t be writing this today because I wouldn’t have anything/anyone to look back to… She loves me too much to hurt her. Then, God! I remembered everything they said about suicide, how …

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9

A past attempt/warning

  June 21st, 2017 by Sylkisfish

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15

I tried once, I will try again.

  June 11th, 2017 by Suicidal13yrOld

I tried to commit suicide. I failed, got sent to CCU , I am now back home, and ready to try again. I will hang myself and slit my wrists. If not today then another.

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7

I did it and I hate myself

  June 7th, 2017 by My life is over

I tried to kill myself last night and failed I tried to slit my wrist and did not cut deep enough and I was sent to the hospital for critical care. My family knows I’m alive. To those who think life can end with one shot, or twenty pills, it can’t God has a plan for all of us and that plan heaven or hell will come true with gods WILL. So don’t do it I was one of the lucky ones who lived and feels terrible for what I did. The hospital let me put this up with pain. They wounds where not deep …

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7

To the ones who know loremaster

  June 7th, 2017 by My life is over

He is in the CCU and he tried to slit his wrist open and failed. He almost died he is in the hospital. Sorry for the death the hospital just called and said he is in critical condition.

 

loremaster82@gmail.com if any questions

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3

His Name Is Robert

  June 7th, 2017 by Addiictivetragedy

His name is Robert , I was only 8 years old  sitting all alone on the couch. I remember his white T-shirt, all by myself in a crowed house. He hid in the kitchen  to hide from the suspicion. He took my innocence, he was very quick. It only took a minute, this monster was sick. Like a broken record it repeats in my mind. 15 years pass and I’m still not fine.

They say your body is your temple but I was vandalized.  This Innocent little girl on the couch was now traumatized.

He wasn’t the first to hurt me, and wasn’t the last, this little …

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4

It’s funny how life works

  June 6th, 2017 by Sach77

Hey ya’ll

I’m not sure if anyone remembers me, because I only posted two times. But here I am again.

To catch up on my life currently, last August (august 1st 2016) I tried to kill myself, on July 29th I posted my goodbyes to the world on this site. Thankyou so much for the kind words that night. And well I took the pills I had (all but like 5 of them, because I ran out of water). And I lied down on the floor to die.

And yes, I did take enough to kill myself, and I would of died if I didn’t call 911. I …

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