Suicidal Survivors

For those who have survived suicide.


Near Suicide Experience

  December 23rd, 2016 by VicariousEyes

Well, I almost did it. I was crossing the line before the part of me that hates me stopped me. I deleted my previous posts about my intent for suicide because I felt that they were stupid, childish, poorly written and whatever else negative the other me wanted to come up with.

Anyway, I’ve been depressed for going on 5 years now. Long story not-so-short: my parents have had a volatile, explosive, violent marriage full of mistrust, lies, paranoia. My dad is a HUGE guy. Not in the fat sense, in the could crush a train between his fingers sense. So when things got physical between …

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No one can help me !

  December 22nd, 2016 by lonely_and_damaged

I have struggled with several different mental health issues for over 4 years now and no one can help I have hallucinations on a daily basis no one knows why Iam on a very high dose of anti anxiety and antidepressants which don’t seem to be doing a lot I have try to end my life previously obvious without success I can’t take my mind of it the only way for me to be happy is to die I don’t have any reason to live I just want to stop feeling like this.

any suggestions ?

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A Truthful Look at Suicidal Impulses (Reality, Documentary)

  It is difficult for people to understand the mind and behavior of those affected by true Bipolar Depression Disorder. Identifying, accepting and treating it in a child, that must be extremely challenging. If life isn’t worth living, it definitely isn’t worth dying for either. With all due respect, if you believe there is no […]


A Mistake

  December 19th, 2016 by psykodiak

My story isn’t as crazy as many others, but it’s a story nonetheless. When I was 17, school was very difficult for me. I really had the hardest time paying attention in school and legitimately had zero interest in doing any school work. Needless to say, my grades were horrible.

At that time, I had invested a lot into a hobby, I guess. It was something that my friends and myself really found joy in. It was something I loved to learn about, theory craft, war game, all that jazz. It was always on my mind. The possibilities were absolutely endless from my own point of …


I don’t feel right.

  December 9th, 2016 by antecedent

I don’t feel “right”, and I haven’t felt “right” in a very long time.
I feel an uncomfortable emptiness, and as if life is continuing on in an unpleasant repetition, and I’m growing tired of it.

I am sixteen years old, and I have obtained my GED. I am going to begin college early next year, and I feel like I’m not ready, at least, with tolerating my anxiety. I have terrible anxiety, and I have panic attacks if I’m within a supermarket or similar public setting for too long. I’ve been in the college before, being I had to apply for it, and I began sweating and …


Secrets I’ve always wanted to tell. (1st timer here…)

  December 8th, 2016 by Asystole

I had no idea a website like this existed, but I’m grateful to have found it.  I lurked and read many things here before deciding to sign up to post. I wonder if anyone out there can relate to my story?  I wonder if anyone out there is my age, or older?  I wonder if anyone shares my burdens? I wonder, I wonder…. I guess we all wonder those things… Anyway, here I am at 38 years old (I feel like the oldest on here) writing to no one or everyone about my desire to die via suicide.  It’s not something new.  There are moments …


I’m back.. And feel worse than ever..

  December 8th, 2016 by GerbzBaby

I haven’t posted here in what seems like a long time. My life was starting to improve little by little, but, as of recently it’s gone down hill. I’ve been having so much trouble with keeping myself happy. My physical as well as my mental health is rapidly deteriorating. I’m not eating correctly, I only eat at least one to two meals a day with very little consumption of water. When I do eat it’s junk food. My digestive system is all kinds of fucked up (going to the doctors soon to get it checked) and I really do fear for the worst.

My mental health …



  December 6th, 2016 by adecoy95

idk if anyone remembers me or not but i just wanted to post an update since my last posting.

i made an attempt about a month ago, since then i have been getting help and more therapy, as well as new medicine.

for a few weeks it was helping really well, i started showering regularly, losing weight, going to the gym, trying to get out there. i tried a fake it till you make it approach. but its not working.

i would think that after nearly a month and a half now i would start seeing improvements, but putting my past distractions behind has ended up with me …


Last Hope Vanished – I was Born, Shaped, and MOLDED by the DARK!!!

  December 1st, 2016 by silverComplex

I was doing Carbon Monoxide in a sealed tent underground… I was just passing out and I crawled out and realized looking at the sunset… I want to live as much as I want to die… In other words, when life gets fucking hard I want to die as much I want to fucking live!! I fucking screamed and broke down. Every muscle in me was aching was saying what’s the point? Every muscle in my fucking body was telling me to stop. Every in me was telling me to stop and give up. And I said I can fucking do it… I know there is …


Strange Experience

  November 23rd, 2016 by away

I just tried to hang myself. Clearly, given that I’m posting on here, it didn’t pan out. It was a profoundly strange experience, though.

I tied the rope to a towel hook on the bathroom door (bad call) and threw the slip knot over the door. Afterwards, I stood on a stool with the rope around my neck, experimenting. My cat watched me intently for a minute or two before sauntering off…

It hurt. I know that unconsciousness is swift but I’d be lying if I said that applying the pressure to my neck wasn’t painful. Because of that, I kept changing the placement of the rope, …


i wish harry potter was real , i wish fantastic beasts were real , i wish magic was real , i wish magic really exist , i wish wizards were real really exist

  November 23rd, 2016 by niki

i wish harry potter was real really exist , i wish fantastic beasts were real really exist , i wish magic was real really exist , i wish magic really exist , i wish wizards were real really exist

because reality is boring , mundane , and limiting limited
because real world is boring , mundane , and limited limiting
because real life is boring , mundane , & limited limiting !

reality is all about MONEY !
real-life is all about Money !
real-world is all about Money !

Life is boring , mundane ,
movies is better than reality real life real world !
novels is better than reality …


Earth Won’t Let Me Go

  November 17th, 2016 by away

This is ridiculous. I wasn’t supposed to live to write another post.

Things were going swiftly. I was adjusting the rope, everyone was asleep, and it was pitch black outside; the perfect tableau.

However, I guess that it just took me too long to get the knot and the rope’s position on my neck correct, because I suddenly saw my next door neighbour’s garage light turn on! He was definitely outside. One of the bedrooms in the house behind mine randomly had its light on too.

Of course, I panicked, threw the towel that was supposed to be wrapped around my neck away, turned the rope still tied to …


I am alive because of you

  November 13th, 2016 by silent survivor

Hello, it has been 2 years since the last time I’ve been on here. Things have changed. I often find myself wondering if the same people who were here when i first started are still alive or if their lives have gotten better. I hope so. I hope that they’re enjoying life as much as they can like i am.

I want to be honest, the first time i came across this place i was  around 13-14 years old and googling suicide methods. Instead of finding ways to end my life this place helped me find ways to cope and keep on living. I am 18 years …



  November 8th, 2016 by WorthlessPuppy

I have been suicidal for many years. Have tried many times. I have a huge scar across my throat from slitting it. I would give anything for a way to go. I have seen posts on here and in a sick way its nice that I am not alone. Altthough I wish you guys felt better… I think I may be a lost cause though…. Im definitely feeling it tonight…


I hate reality ! reality is boring ! Doctor Strange , Marvel MCU , Avengers , Sword Art Online , Virtual Reality , games , movies , novels , anime manga , comics is better than reality !

  October 29th, 2016 by niki

I hate reality ! reality is boring !

Doctor Strange is better than reality !
Marvel MCU (Marvel Cinematic Universe) is better than reality !
Avengers is better than real world !
Sword Art Online is better than real life !
Virtual Reality is better than boring reality !
video games is better than reality real life real world !
movies is better than real-world real-life reality !
novels is better than real-life real-world reality !
anime manga is better than boring real life real world reality !
comics is better than boring real world real life reality !

Why Human’s Imagination is much better than reality ??
movies , games …


Missing Suicidal Thoughts

  October 20th, 2016 by conflictedcollegekid

In May, I tried overdosing. Well, it obviously didn’t work. I ended up being sent to a psych hospital for 11 days. Then I did a partial hospitalization program for 3 weeks, and then did an intensive outpatient program for 5 weeks. During that time, I quit self harming, quit abusing prescription drugs, and quit having suicidal thoughts.

It’s been 5.5 months since I first wound up in my inpatient place. But now that I’m “healed” or whatever the hell you want to call it….I feel weird. And I don’t like it. For whatever reason, I miss being how I used to be. I miss being …


Message to kissy_93

  October 10th, 2016 by RuinsOfTheVoid

I have seen you pop up in the community in the last few days and I just want to say you are not alone. Everyone on this site knows what its like to hurt. You are not alone.

You keep asking for a reason to live, but life is not that simple. There are things in my life that I love and cherish and things I give no value to. I love my GF and my laptop, I don’t love my clothes, if I lose them I can just get more clothes. I cannot replace my GF. So she gives my life meaning, I fight everyday …


My first attempt…

  October 9th, 2016 by starrynights14

I hated how my community view suicide as an cowardly, attention seeking and impulsive act. At least when I tried that several years ago, it wasn’t anything like that.

It’s a long story if you want me to talk about what lead to my attempt. My life has been absolutely exhausting, and there’s just no way for it to get any better. I had contemplated and planned my for my death for a very long time. However, committing to my decision to kill myself actually required a great deal of time and determination. It was actually pretty difficult to drown out that little voice in my …


At this point, just looking for a peaceful exit.

  October 2nd, 2016 by princess_switters

I attempted suicide back in May, and while certainly not my first attempt (I’ve lost count) it was the most serious.  I OD’d on phenobarb and diazepam, was intubated and in coma for 10 days, and 5 months later my left leg is still paralyzed from the knee down from sciatic nerve damage sustained while unconscious.

I was naïve enough to think that returning to university this Fall would make me happy and give me a renewed sense of purpose, but class started last week and since then my desire to be dead has resurfaced and intensified to the point where it’s all I think about. I …


It feels so weird to be back…

  September 17th, 2016 by Within Evanescence

Hi everyone,

I’m guessing that most of you don’t recognize me, but I made this profile about two years ago. Though, I haven’t posted anything in half a year. Just like you, I was at the bottom of the deepest bottle… At some point I started making actual plans for attempting suicide, and I once came very, very close to making an attempt, but I never actually tried anything for real. Here’s a simple explanation of why:

First of all, my school had sent me to a psychologist. That was one of the scariest experiences of my life, but it turned out to be one of the …