we’d be better off if this world was dead. what’s keeping me holding on? my abusers are unrepentant pieces of trash, what’s the point of this. there’s no point to any of this.

There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.

Why are you here in my head again? I was feeling so good for a minute. I can’t even complain about what you do to me. I do it to myself. You are making life so hard. There is so much bad in this world already. Can’t we just bring a little bit of good into it? Please Mr. MM, I need you to go back to sitting in your corner. There are things I still need to do. Creatures I still need to care for. I really don’t want to want to die anymore. I’m so tired Mr. MM. I don’t know […]

Let this blood soak in my hands

I’ll take the blade and place it to my neck

How simple is that

Everything is fine, isn’t it?

All it is is anxiety

Or is it?

Let me drown in the blood of my body

What a better way to go

The bones of my mind ache

Emotions are too hard to handle

I know I’m messed up

So what?

Who cares if I understand myself or not

It’s not gonna help

Nothing did

No blade, no person, not the forcing down of emotions

Nothing’s worked.

Who cares?

I need to say something

I need it to make sense

It hasn’t.

I can’t tell if I’m in fantasy or reality

And no one around me knows either?

Who cares?

All of […]

I’m someone who likes to draw, to edit pictures (especially of games) and write my own stories. This year something happened and I lost all interest for my hobbies. I’ve recently just started to regain some interest but… It’s like nothing I do, seems great enough.

I’ve also noticed my friends, that I always share it with, being rather uninterested. I’m not sure whether my perception is just ‘wrong’ or it’s really because I’m shit. I keep thinking: What even is the point of doing this.? If I don’t think it’s good and people around me don’t really care, then why do I waste my […]

I wonder, does anyone write letters anymore. It’s beautiful…writing a letter. Conveying your emotions and thoughts on a piece of  paper, engraving them forever, and sending them to a beloved person. I wish, that when I find my significant other I can share this with them. It’s sad, how no one writes letters anymore. I wish that people would start doing it again…

I don’t know why I feel like this. I feel worthless. My ex has ruined me, and I cant move past that anytime soon. I can’t do any of my work for school…I’m 3 weeks behind. I just wanna fucking die. My ex just up and left, No explanation no closure. I’m a pathetic excuse of a son and brother, I can’t even do the simple thing of doing my schoolwork, I rarely leave my room and If I do its to grab food/ride around outside. I’m not sure what the point of my writing this is. I plan on writing my note soon. I […]

I want to hold a baseball bat and just start breaking things. I want to throw whatever my hands reach, I want to hear glass breaking on the floor. I want to scream so loud.

There’s too much anger in me and nothing google says works. Articles just say to redirect your anger do other stuff, just breathe and relax. That’s bs it doesn’t work at all. I don’t think it works that way.

I am mad at my dad for not paying for my bills. He doesn’t care if I die even if this brain tumor gets worse until it kills me. I am […]

I had a dream last night. I can’t remember the full details, but I remember spending a lot of time with a girl in it. I can’t really remember her face, but she was a bit shorter than me and she had longish hair. Those are the only features I can remember from her. We spent our time just doing menial stuff like buying snacks from the gas station and riding a bus. I really felt like she wanted to be there with me. Like she cared about me. I remember looking at her and she had really […]

Oh, my… Do they ever diagnose you straight? I am diagnosed with SO many fuckin’ shit by different doctors. Like, what is wrong with me???!!!

Is anyone else suffering completely alone? I have alienated everyone who cared about me and I’m on the precipice. There is a tiny glimmer of hope I am holding onto but I fear it is only a matter of time before it is extinguished and I will fall into the pit of absolute despair. Anxiety is consuming me daily and nightly to the point I feel physically ill. I am constantly swaying between trying to be strong and hold on, and feeling completely hopeless and forsaken. I have no support system and I can’t cope with how I am feeling. I am terrified to live […]

I don’t understand why I’m so cold. I’m wearing leggings under my sweatpants and three jackets but I’m still shivering. But the thing is I think it’s that I’m emotionally cold more than physically.

i died for you

I’m tired of my life, I’m struggling

torched

torched in a blackendd mirror

asleep among violets

amid sunrise catastrophe

i cannot live

Schizoanalysis yields the gray room when and only when the rhizome comes from the corpus arcum, the body with no organs, the space without limits. 

Outside the body, all analysis is possible.

And you can see how this “practice” is completely opposite to a perfect pragmatic approach. It may be difficult to apply your mental faculties when you are focusing all of your Selfhood into a rhizome, and reflecting that Being endlessly back into an undifferentiated fog of experience with no tangible aspect.

I pray to the God who sleeps, that he may take my organs swiftly! Leave me barren, Lord!

I just don’t want to be a part of it.

It doesn’t make sense for me to want to die. That’s why I don’t believe anything can help me change that desire. I’m tied up in this existence for now, but one day I’ll be free to go.

I don’t hate myself for forgetting. I hate myself for not making the memory in the first place. I was too busy…. Being me I guess. I’m sorry

If im not useful then i should die
This is the right thing to do
That is the wrong thing to do
Right and wrong

Im going to die anyway
There is no right and wrong for me anymore
I hate you
I hate you so much

i want to die