What the hell is wrong with me? Am I an unlikable person? *sigh* I try you know I try to be friendly but why is it that in whatever I do Im just ignored. Im currently in art school and I try. try hard and I am decent at what I do yet I get no attention in any thing its like Im invisible and it just makes me hate everyone at school.school I HATE that too I enjoy the learning yes BUT I HATE THE PEOPLE THERE …I just hate people in general ? I didnt use to be like this I wasnt so […]
Lately i’ve been having this urge to self-harm again and i honestly don’t know why, i mean it’s not like im depressed or anything i actually believe im quite happy with myself right now. The thing is, everytime i look at my wrists they just look so…empty and alone an idk it’s like i miss the pain,i miss feeling like i was alive again.. I don’t know what im supposed to do, ive gone months without self-harm and i dont know if i would enjoy the fact of relapsing for the fourth time thi year. Idk and its just not cutting anymore now i just […]
I’ve hit it. I’m a 19 year old gay male and i’ve been crying my eyes out for so many nights now. I want to just end it all..I am so miserable and lonely. I’ve brought most of this on myself I guess…i think I have herpes and it fucking disgusts me. I hate these fucking sores on my lips…why did I have to do this to myself? I feel like such a disgusting whore. I miss my exboyfriend and I wish i could have done more for him..instead I fucked up. I fuck everything up. I don’t know why I was brought intothis world…both […]
Hopelessness…black like filthy oil rains from darkened skies and gray clouds. My chin pressed to my scarred chest as my hair, dirty blonde acid conceals a marred face. I’ve done my best. A 3 year battle. The mud beneath my feet still warm with fresh blood. Rusted chains bound bloodied hands behind my lashed back and I feel my wrists bleeding. Four heavy steps more and the heat burns more than my skin. I will not look at those ebony gates because I know..the same gates that have claimed my soul since the beginning of the battle. So thirsty, are the gates of Hades. Rising into the sky […]
im 17.. i feel like such a little kid around every one.. they all treat me that way.. little things mess with me really bad. i have borderline personality disorder.. i haven’t had a very good life and i understand that.. i understand that there are people out there who have had it worse than me.. i just don’t no why all this has happened too me. if there really is a god out there then why are all of these good people having bad things happen to them..i was raped by my brother and my little sisters brother from the time i was 5 […]
Im 21 years old and have attempted suicide 5 times. I was sexually and physically abused growing up by my alcoholic dad and emotionally and mentally abused by my mom.  I have been raped more times than i can count by more than 7 diferent people all belonging to the same group of friends. I got pregnant by one of them and that made me more depressed but then i became to welcome the fact that i would have someone i could love and would be loved back. at 21 and a half weeks on July 17, 2011 i gave birth to a stillborn 5 ounce baby girl who was […]
The stars lean down to kiss you,Â
And I lie awake and miss you.
Pour me a heavy dose of atmosphere.
‘Cause I’ll doze off safe and soundly,Â
But I’ll miss your arms around me.
I’d send a postcard to you dear,Â
‘Cause I wish you were here.
I’ll watch the night turn light blue.
But it’s not the same without you,Â
Because it takes two to whisper quietly,Â
The silence isn’t so bad,Â
Till I look at my hands and feel sad,Â
‘Cause the spaces between my fingers
Are right where yours fit perfectly.
I’ll find repose in new ways,Â
Though I haven’t slept in […]
Please dont feel sorry for me. I hate that. I’m only 17, I seem young to have gone through as much as I have. My life has gone to ruins. Ive been depressed for almost 4 years now. I’m bipolar adhd horrible anxiety and under weight. I take lots of medicine. But I’m tired of the life I’m living. 14 years ago my mom hung herself in a bathroom. She was addicted to cocaine and 3 men that she was buying from raped her. The doctor who did the exam on her said she wouldnt try to kill herself bqut she did. She did cocaine […]
With all the things in life there are to hate and to make us so profoundly sad, love shouldn’t be one of them. It has always been a mystery to me. For some people love is a reason to live. Sharing love with that special person makes everything else worth it. Â It breaks through all the bullshit and gives them the strength to handle anything.
For the rest of us it is elusive. The ones we love will never love us. We are the constantly lonely and chronically untouched. Love is painful. It reminds us of all the things we’ll never have and we’ll never be.
I […]
so im kind of new to this & so far it looks great .. obviously i have my own share of problems or i wouldn’t be here .. so this is my story .. I was born & raised in CA & my grandparents raised me .. i recently ( its been 2 yrs now) moved back with my real parents & we’re all the way in Tonga ( island in the south pacific ) & so far its been a major change .. school , life , boys , new people , etc etc .. tbh i didnt want to move , but i had no […]
I made this account a couple of weeks ago when I was searching for an exit from this life. I realized something this time around which was that I wanted to die but I wasn’t as suicidal as I once was, almost as if I gave into this life and its reality that I clearly was always against. I found it strange how we are willing to help another on this website or elsewhere and yet can’t help ourselves. I feel we were all deprived of something from our childhood that we needed and that lack of attention, love, or simply not being […]
My first post on here after reading the posts for a while.
I let someone in for the first time in years, 11 to be exact, but now I feel worse than ever! I’m 22 and since I was 11 I’ve dealt with feelings of being worthless and being made to feel like I was unwanted, by friends and family and even people I didn’t know. I’ve dealt with being alone for 11 years, I had come to terms with it and even though feelings of depression and suicide would take over from time to time I had found my own ways of dealing with […]
I’ve never let anyone in close enough to see the ugliness inside. Last summer, my dad came the closest after some emotional emails I’d sent him. He drove the 6 hours to my city and spent the week taking me out to dinner and talking, trying to figure out what was wrong. But I burned him like I’ve done everyone else.
I burned my grandmother when I told her to stop talking to me. I burned my co-workers when I took up the vow of silence at the office. I burned my father by never replying to any of his follow up emails after we had […]
I run to this like it’ll truly make things better. but really this is just an escape for a few minutes. i didnt even have to wait a whole day today to come back on here. it was made simple for me earlier today. things got turned upside down again. and again…and again. endure the wrath or change. 2 results. 1 has already been given, but yet satisfaction has not been reached. so you’ll keep burning me. until all my flesh has turned to ashes. and theres nothing left to burn. it is admirable to stand by someone who chooses to burn you. im not […]
I almost cracked in front of my entire family. Or i did crack, partially?! I don’t know.
i started rambling about not having a desire to live, honestly i just said that to shut them up because they were talking about responsibilities of today’s youth and how it was different and much harder when they were young. Fine it was, let them have their past but keep it for yourself because i am not feeble- minded.
I thought i won’t be coming here anymore, but i guess i still have the need. since i can’t talk to anyone, i mean i can’t talk how depressed i […]
it brought terror and fear, i dont get it. i WANT to die and i acted on it last night, but once everything went down hill i knew maybe death isnt the answer to life’s problems? it started with a headache i ignored it, i felt sharp stabbing pains going all down my back, everytime i stood up i was to weak and the pain was to annoying to just keep moving so i’d stand up and fall to my knees and rest this scared me. then i gave up attempting to walk let alone stand, so i just layed in bed then i started […]
hello, Â I’ve been sad for quite some time, I’ve attempted to commit so many times, so many different ways. Here’s alittle bit of my background, I was inlove, I had friends, I had a good job. Everything is gone, I’m not happy anymore, life has manage to take everything away from me. Did I cause this? was it my fault that everyone is gone? For the past week I have been researching on different ways to commit, I came across this website and here I am, making my first post.
I think I felt inlove with my eyes close. I knew it was true love, I […]
I don’t know how to begin this post so I will just start somewhere. I am a hated human being by everyone. Including my family who always talk about me behind my back saying how horrible of a person I am. I’ve heard them. Â I have social issues because I am homeschooled and when I took a class at a local school people thought I was too weird and never talked to me because I never talked and I didn’t like the things they liked. I couldn’t wait to get out of there. And of course they talked about how weird I was when I […]
I can’t believe I keep letting this happen.
I have this boy I love having sexual intercourse with, he’s absolutely amazing, everything is nice and perfect size.
Anyway, he’s always treated me pretty bad, like there’s no relationship here just casual sex but still, respect is needed and this thing works two ways, okay so he was all like keen and now he’s only allowed to ask me when he’s keen I’m not allowed like seriously.
Oh and now he’s bringing more people into it. I don’t know how to say no so I go along with it. And tonight it’s just gotten out of […]
I don’t know about any of this any more. I try not to get into this feelings, into this temptation to end everything but lately it has just become to much. Never have I experienced it this bad, to the point where I actually wake up in the morning extremely disappointed and wishing that God would have finally answered my prayers and just taken me.
I try hard for others going through this and I tell them to keep strong, just to hold on but look at me! I can’t even listen to myself! I can’t even hold on, It’s like everything I once had just […]