Im worried about her. I have seen her cuts and she hasnt been to school in over a week. I hope she’s okay :/

this is my first post so if i jibber-jabber to much i do apologize. im new at this the thought of a bunch of strangers reading this is still kind of weird but one of you might be or have been in the position im in and i would actually like to know the thoughts of someone that i guess can somewhat understand me. so here goes a bit of whats on my mind right now….
i get suicidal thoughts a lot lately. a couple days ago, i guess you can say i had a bit of a melt down. i was texting one of […]

im thinking,the next train usaully goes past a little after 10 o clock,i waited untill it gets dark out so noone sees me and gets tramatized,mabey i should jump the train first, see were it takes me,mabey to a different state,but then i will have to change my appearence, if i do decide to go tonight, im nervis,iv been out of my body before,i have had a obe,and i saw something i never want to see again,wen i went back in my body, i still felt that presence,i dont know what happens wen you die, noone does untill it happens to them, but being out […]

I doubt anyone would take a look at this. But I have no one else to turn to. I have screwed up my life so tremendously, I feel that I have no other choice but to kill myself. My boyfriend, the one whom I love more than life itself, saw that I was texting my ex. I was just texting him to see how he was doing, but my bf had told me explicitly that he didn’t want me talking to him. Now he is calling me a liar and that I’m going to regret ever lying to him. I don’t know what he’s going […]

I may be going to boarding school year after next.  It’s this amazing science school in the state, and I REALLY want to go, but I’m also TERRIFIED.

I’m not good enough for my shitty public school, much less this place!

But I want to go so bad.  It’s exactly what I want; a way to get the fuck out of here and get started on college before 4 years are up.

But I don’t want to go through going to a new school again.  Even if everyone would be new.

But I wanna be a medical examiner; if I have the opportunity to go to a school that […]

I just can’t deal anymore. Everyone says to “hold on” and “be strong”. But they do not walk in my shoes. They do not feel the pain I feel. They were not physically and emotionally abused in their childhood. They didn’t see their boyfriend of 6 years find a new girlfriend and the two of them crack jokes about me on Facebook, saying that I am lunch meat while the new girlfriend is steak….yet the ex-boyfriend calls and tells me the same week he not over me and wants to be friends and I am a great person. How can I be a great person if […]

I decided to start fasting to try to make my tits shrink. Though I think I’ll likely give up and start eating again, mostly because of boredom and hunger pains. Currently I’m trying to apply and smell essential oils frequently because your sense of taste and smell are connected so smelling essential oils acts as kind of like a substitute for eating. Also I’m focusing on the traumatic experiences I’ve endured in the past and the things about me (my body, brain, etc) and my life I’m ashamed of to distract myself from food. Does anyone have any tips to make not eating for a […]

I know you are all suicidal but I just have one request. I wouldn’t say I am against suicide I believe that it is fully the persons choice. I just want you to consider what your problems are becuase I see som many posts on here about people saying they are going to kill themselves over relationships and arguements and I want you to ask If: 1 in five years will this still matter or affect you? 2 Is this permanent or temporary? 3 Is there anything you can do now to get relief from it? 4 how long has this been a problem? 5 […]

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http://www.tumblr.com/blog/evading-happiness

For those of you who are younger or who don’t have access to a lot of materials,  what is your way out? How would you like to leave? I’d personally prefer something relatively painless, though I do have a high pain tolerance/threshold. -Methods-

im thinking about taking sleeping pills and laying on the rail road tracks tonight,

Before I begin, if you might want to read my previous post for some context.  http://suicideproject.org/2012/03/want-to-just-die/

I’m still here.  Not much of an accomplishment really.  Still depressed.  Still having very suicidal thoughts.  Not constantly, but it’s like they’re always there, waiting for me to have just one very bad day.

My ex and I were friends.  The she just stopped returning my texts.  I didn’t know why.  Still not sure I do.  About three weeks ago.  I texted her and basically wouldn’t stop until she told me what was going on.  All she said was that I can be annoying somtimes.  I admit that sometimes this […]

I grow tired of the repaired, reconstructed, and rebuilt. I envy many of you who have faced your challenges (depression, suicide, overdose attempts, and so much more).
In all those moments you have made your life easier.
In these comments I commend you, but for many of us the battle of psych freedom is a road longer, darker, and perilous.

I am not trying to compare who is more ill (or was) but staying “just pull yourself out of it” is like a blind parent talking to a child who can see, touch, and taste the sorrow around them.

I am older than many of the […]

so i posted something on a website,i posted that i was trying to make friends, friends and nothing more, so this dude replies,and says he wants to be friends, so he writes me once, i write him once,then his girl friend starts harrassing me going into his email, talk shit, acting like i was trying to be more then friends,saying i destroyed her family, i dont even know her family, and i keep telling him to leave me alone to, and he wont, is it even possible to destroy someones family if you never met them and only talk to someone a couple times through […]

I miss you so much James, it’s been over three months and I still can’t believe you are gone, I keep waiting for someone to tell me this isn’t happening.
Te amo y te voy a amar para siempre.

im here still. i’d say im better, but now im confused maybe i was never depressed no i am i can feel it. life has gotten better but not good enough to earase my depression. i think i might have slipped out of my own world for a little bit im sure i’ll fall back but im trying to enjoy life as much as i can while im feeling this some sorta happiness. then i realized i want thing: for the world to be happy the way i am too.

I come here sometimes just to read. It amazes me that so many young men and women want to harm yourselves.  Don’t take this the wrong way because I too started writing because life had become unbearable. I took enough pills a few months ago. that I thought I might finally have made it. The next day I woke up with my husband trying to talk to me. What a fool to put my family through so much pain. For God sake people your problem is you. Get out of your own way and stop being so SELF absorbed! Why not try as hard to find a reason, […]

My dearest Love.

I am a travler of both time and space, as well as a seeker of truth…
How can I make you happy when I can’t do it for myself and we are so selfish we will do it for ourselves but not each other, so if we are unable to do it for each other how can we hope to come out of our reverie and care more abot the other than ourself? I love you this way. I would not choose breath over death if living is to be done alone. How can you be so foolish? How can I…  I am so […]

 I wish I could turn a clock and go back to the day before I was born. I wish I could make my mom and dad to change their minds and not have another child.

Now I am hanging here, trying to keep up whit life. I always end up crashing down. It´s funny that I know that I can never commit suicide but I´m thinking about death awfully lot.

I just wish that I could be someone else- someone who could just smile and be happy, someone who didn’t care that there is no sense on this world, someone who would just enjoy the fact of […]

I have been hiding how I feel for so long, it’s overwhelming I put on a persona go through life as a stable person but it’s all lie. I would love to cut myself and tear a hole through my chest. How stupid are people do they think those jokes are funny, it’s a cry for help how ignorant can everybody be, it’s a mask y can’t anybody see through it. When I try to tell my wife she doesn’t understand, what could I possibly be deppresed about, how about the insignificance of the human life there is no other purpose rather than to die… […]