Sometimes I wonder if life is really worth it. I mean, you grow up, you work, you pay off a government that doesn’t do jack sh*t for you, and you do that till you die. Why not just end it?
I can’t think right now. Ever since I cried that last time, when I found out James died, I feel as though I’m walking without purpose. I shouldn’t… I have a wonderful boyfriend. Amazing friends. Even though there’s still a lot of drama going on… with my friends… shouldn’t I be… well… more? More of anything… right now I feel like nothing.
My boyfriend always […]
Ive been sitting here in front of my computer for the past twelve minutes trying to decide what to write. I have this urge to completely spill everything from how bad things have been getting to the color of my socks. My problems are petty, i dont like bothering you guys with them because i feel lame caring about losing my best friend when so many of you have such bigger problems. I wish i could help you all. I wish i could help everybody. I wish i make every insecure person feel confident, i wish i could make every poor person richer, i wish […]
Well, I’ve been sick all my life, asthma, allergies, skin diseases, mental issues, social issues. I was always a quiet kid and didn’t have many friends. My dad use to spoil me as a kid because I was youngest and always sick, I believe, until I started noticing that my sister wasn’t getting the fair attention, so I asked to stop. And he did. In school I was made fun of as a kid, then later I just became awkward to talk too. I was never considered one of the pretty girls. Boys only talked to be to get with my friends or my sister. […]
Diseases and plagues are easy to withstand
Hurricanes and earthquakes that reduce your world to sand
Are inconsequential compared to the torture,
The interminable agony you endure
Resistance or reversal ever futile
Against an all-consuming affliction of the devil
Warping every happiness to a misery
Past becoming future: time unravels slowly
But insanity is a loathed escape
From the hell you yourself create
Your thoughts breed a deserved hatred
A roiling pain that incubates inside
Of every word, every action you’ve ever committed
Knowing yourself a failure at everything you ever tried
It’s a pain, a hate you cannot escape
No matter how fast, how far you run […]
i’ve been contemplating suicide for about half a year now. just cant fucking take it. im 18 and i have never had a girlfriend, which i know, sounds like im whining. but i realize that i CAN’T have a girlfriend. i just never try ’cause i know there’s no point. why try and get rejected? if im suicidal ’cause i think i’ll get rejected, what the fuck’ll happen when i DO get rejected?? my drug problem also doesn’t help. i smoke pot every weekend, fridays and saturdays. i’ve tried coke, vicodin, percocet, codeine, shrooms, dxm, salvia, shit load of alcohol, meth, ecstasy, and i abuse […]
Nobody in the real world understands. The few people that i have told about my cutting and suicidal stuff don’t understand. They don’t know how cutting could make me feel good. They don’t get how it would help me. They think i’m just out to get attention. They threaten to tell adults, so that i can stop “being such an idiot.” They hate me. Even the people who don’t know about it hate me. They say I talk too much. They tell me to kill myself in the shower. They say I’m fat. They tell me that I should be in a special house with […]
I never thought I’d be posting on a site like this…and if you saw me walking on the streets you probably wouldn’t guess that I’m a person who’s pretty darn tired of life. My aunt says I have a pretty good life; objectively speaking, I guess I do. Good parents and safe upbringing. Pretty healthy. Til high school mostly all I did was study, and it paid off because I attended a top public university in my state, and I guess until then everything was good. I don’t know why, but something’s happened since then. During my freshman year of college I joined a really […]
I can’t explain a lot of things because I don’t quite understand myself. I’m a recovering drug addict, I was addicted to cocaine for 2 almost 3 years of my life.. I used to cut myself to feel as if I had control of my own life.. that it wasn’t the drugs controlling my life, then I just began to continue cutting. I have been clean for almost 5 years now and I haven’t cut in over three years. The past three years, I have been with a man, he is the most amazing man in the world and treats me like I’m […]
I have a rule when I weigh myself; if I’ve gained, I starve for the rest of the day. But if I’ve lost, I starve too. Nothing tastes as good as thin feels.
My finances are a mess. Â And I’m old enough to know better. I have a job, but I still can’t seem to catch up no matter what I do. Â Every week brings another disaster. Â I barely keep things together, and then they fall apart.
The latest happened today. Â My gas was just shut off. Â And I don’t have the money to pay to get it turned back on. Â I don’t qualify for any assistance programs. Â But I’m trying to catch up on all these other debts. Â In order to keep getting paid, I have to fly to Chicago every couple weeks for a job. Â That costs […]
I am getting so fucking sick of myself.
Why can´t I ever break this cycle of selfdestruction?
March 26, 2012
I want to cut.
There’s the temptation
I’ll do it, then not tell anyone.
Who would it hurt then?
But I know it’s wrong.
Why can’t I do the right thing?
When the wrong thing seems right?
I want to give up
I’m in too deep this time
It’s tempting to just give in and give up
im done with everyone everthing no one gives a fuck anymore so take my things and burn them stab me in the heart with all ur rage show me ur hatred
so now my boyfriend thhe lvoe of my life hates me now cuz of u that one certain boy who was out to make my life a living hell you know what now its a dead hell
you sent him those pics i sent long ago but now im gone so raise ur glass to the death ull never miss….. nd to u my love im sorry <3
well, it’s cause I have nowhere else to go; nothing else I want to do besides wallow in misery.
Or misanthropy. Misanthropy in me is more real than I ever thought. I could have sworn that I started having delusions and psychological disorders of my own accord, because I was bored and needed something to think about. I really do dislike people though. Not because I think they’re evil or destroying the world or anything, they’re just not my cup of tea.
People live through their mouths, always talking, always consuming; don’t they get tired? I’ve been tired going on 4 years now.
Or 3 years. […]
We are all dead anyhow so what does it matter if we choose to leave this painful world early? It is only the hypocrites who live pain free who argue so strongly against suicide. Yet if they had to live through the pain that most people who contemplate suicide do they’d likely be the first to blow their brains out.
herewith the top 3 reasons why people say you shouldnt “leave”…
1.) think of what it would do to those who love you
2.) Your depression is only temporary
3.) Maybe things will be worse “when you are on the other side”…
Herewith my responses:
1.) Why is it that we are made to feel so indebted to others to remain here in our suffering? Are we here to serve as buoyancy devices for those who cant stay afloat without us? Why do people feel a sense of ownership towards others? We ALL (with NO exception) are targeted for an eventual demise, why think that there is any […]
okay, i am 14 years old and have ben hurting myself for 2 years. i have never be able to quit for over 2 months. i have no idea why i do the things i do. i have tried commiting suicide three time but all fails. i started taking medication to help but it did nothing, therapy, nothing. every try failed. even god, i asked him, and nothing. i feel like no one can help, im just so unloveable, weak, ugly and stupid. i hate myself so much. and if i didnt whine like alittle ***** maybe things would be better……i have a great life […]
i pushed myself to get out of bed today to go to work
just to find i dont know if i can put on that fake front
for anyone anymore. i’m scared to let anyone get close
to me again. im tired of being hurt and abandon by
people who say that they love me. i’m just so tired of
hurting inside and hiding it. i hope i can make it thru
today. i feel so sick and my hands are shaking so bad
i can barley type. i just want evething to go away.
I love the spring !
the season of rebirth: the sunny days are back, the weather is ideal (not too hot), the almost balance between day and night
my 2nd favorite season is the fall .. basically, I’m not a fan of extremes when it comes to weather
I might have to postpone my death to late may – early june
Just realized how dark this website is.. and I’m not just talking about the background color etc.. but I guess it’s a good outlet.. Had a pretty dull day and here I am alone at home again.. it kills sometimes.. seeing a movie soon and might see girl tonight.. so it ain’t too bad.. ahh watever..