I’ve had enough. Twelve years is good enough for me. I have my note written, place picked out, time, day, and knife. Maybe when I’m gone, that’s when they’ll start caring.
(The series of posts I write on here I will call Bittersweet, since everyone on here is lovely enough to leave comments I’ll use them to sort of answer their questions more. So here’s the next part.)
I’ve been told MANY times that I treat myself harshly, in truth that is a habit I’ve been doing since I was very young (I’m talking about 4 or 5 years old).
Even then I showed a desire to give myself self-punishment. What am I punishing myself for is something I’ve been trying to figure out for several years now. Is it because something in me told me I wasn’t […]
Yesterday I did cut my legs. Real bad.. I told my mom and my dad, they took me to the doctor. The doctor said it was ok, and that I just had to live my life like nothing happen. Well all I can think of is that I want to do it again. They dont take me seriosly and that really annoy me. I want to try to commit suicide and then they’ll see that I really mean it! Not only cause of that, but I want to do it all the time, and to think ” I want to die” all the time is […]
My name is Isabella, but almost everyone calls me bells. I am 14 years old and i have tried to kill myself 5 times. The first was when i was 6 and it was by trying to hang myself. The second was when i was 8 and it was by trying to drown myself. The third one was when i was 9 and it was by trying to stab myself. The fourth one was last year and i tried to kill myself with an overdose of painkillers. The last one was saturday, i tried to jump to my death. My life is hell for me. […]
I just started grad school in August. I thought I had a group of friends, but recently I found out they don’t like me. I had a serious boyfriend, he left me because he didn’t trust me and was tired of dealing with me. I have no one here. I am so alone. No one cares, my boyfriend used to care about everything that happened in my day, he wanted to know everything. Now, no one even talks to me. No one says hi to me, even people I’ve met before and spent time with. No one texts or calls me, emails me or messages […]
I live in regret day after day. And I’m tired. I’m just tired of having nothing to live for. I’ve been listening to “it gets better” over and again and it doesn’t, it hasn’t. Self-help is no help at all and there’s seems to be no actual gain in pain.
my family and friends: I know they love and want the best for me. They all support me and try to cater to my bipolar insanity as much as they can. They’re always there for me when I need them. I have a great group of people at my disposal but the problem is me; I don’t care.
I think about myself laying lifeless after whatever suicide method I finally choose and it doesn’t bother to think of all the tears that’ll be shed or the hundreds of people that would go to my funeral.
I know I’m loved, I really do know. But I feel wrong, […]
Growing up quite a big deal was made about me being beautiful…not a day went by once I hit about 14 that somebody didn’t comment on my looks in some way, shape or form. It turned me into someone who is very insecure, although I constantly hear how much self-confidence I should have because people think I am gorgeous and fun…and blah, blah. Well let me tell you it is not fun. It causes so many problems on so many levels. I am not here to complain of compliments, I am here because the beginning of my story has partly led me to where I […]
I was once very suicidal. I used to think about killing myself almost everyday. I would cut myself, debate stabbing myself. I even once took 15 tylenol down with a shot of vodka; I’m still not really sure how I am alive.
That was 5 years ago, and now, my life couldn’t be more complete. I am truly happy.
Most of you on here are young, as I was when I felt like you. Pressured by your “friends,” and sometimes your family may not see your pain, or care, or understand. People can be mean when you’re in elementary, middle school, even in high school. I felt […]
Can I truly blame him for keeping me here? Isn’t it my own cowardice and fear of the unknown that plays a larger role? Would I be able to kill myself if he were never born? He gives me hope, something to do, someone to love and support. But he’s my brother; that’s his life. I need to my own life to be able to truly go on living.
I’ve already decided that I don’t want to be human anymore, that I’d rather be nothing. But I can’t be nothing just yet because he’s 11 and there’s no other adult around him that’s as rational […]
im done. im gonna drink my pain away. i will die tonight. thats a promise.
I have a good life and I don’t understand why I want to die to so badly. I have been hauted by the image of me holding a gun to my head and I am so mad I didn’t pull the trigger. I think suicide failers are worse then actually doing it. Because you feel like you can’t even kill yourself. At least thats how I feel I feel like an even bigger failer cause I can’t do it.
my life has been so crazy and if uve been reading and keeping up with my life u’d know im scared of my dad i have a boyfriend who makes me happy and sad and mad and my mom took me to ct.
Im home from ct and i lived with my boyfriend for about 6 months i am 7 months pregnant tht happened when i ran away -__- now tht im havin his baby and hes going to jail soon i gotta do it by myself i moved out away from him to live with my dad but i miss him soooo much […]
wow never wanted to be back here… but i have been having break downs. i tryed to kill myself a week ago. my friend nick had to call the school and drove around looking for my house. he broke down my door and stoped me.. i wish he didnt.. why would someone who yelled at me and treated me like crap wishing we never meet save me..? i cant breath anymore. im in the worst depression ive ever been in.. my dads death still haunts me, my boyfriend has been cheating on me. my friends have been yelling at me and avoiding me and just […]
Ahh September 23rd… You son of a *****. That day almost got the best of me… I didn’t believe i’d make it another week…
BUT HERE I AM! my birthday’s come and past, i’m still the same as i was a month ago… Why am i not dead????!!!
Im tired of this it hurts to much i cnt stop crying all i do is cry and it feels like icnt breathe like im slowly drowning. Icut myself to calm dwn but it dsnt last long idk wat else to try and wat makes things worse is all my so called friends hav basically abandoned me ihave no one ican talk to im all alone and it hurts to think i always will be. its gotten to the point were ive cryed so much ive made myself sick. Ive thought about ending it once and for all but iwant ther to be no chance […]
I want to jump but I want to make sure when I jump, it will be successful. How far down a cliff do you have to fall to die and not be mangled? Would it help if I take something first? If I get drunk first will I bleed out more quickly?
Thank you.
My life has spirraled into a neverending pit of sadness.I have destroyed every single relationship and friendship I have ever had in my life,my friends of 20 years no longer wish to be my friend,the only person who is in my life and is my friend is my mother,mainly becasue she has to be.I am a very complex confused individual.I say one thing and mean another.My brother hates me,my sister is only 13 so she doesnt know yet,my father abandoned me when I was little,I was molested at 5 by a family member.I feel so isolated and alone,I feel like no-one loves me at all,I […]
Hi there,
Somehow there is relief that I found this. I’ve been searching when ever I feel like utter shit. I’ve been contemplating suicide, sure, but I still don’t quite know how I could or want to go out. Currently I take Lexapro for my depression and I have half a bottle of Trazadone left from when I had sleeping problems. Plus I did (and pretty much going back to) cutting myself. If you look at my left arm, there are those pretty white lines of my work.
So far my choice to go is by two means, bleeding to death or falling asleep by pills. Unfortunately […]
Life, seems to be biting my in the butt, more than expected. If it’s not family problems, it’s school. If it’s neither, it’s love, or life. My names Krissay, and I’m 14 years old. I’ve been dealing with depression and being bipolar for the past 3 years. It get’s worse and worse. And I’m starting to feel like I don’t belong in this place we call Earth. I don’t deserve to be alive.. I was a mistake..
I was born with a disability, I can’t do everything most people can. I can’t run, jump, lift school books, and I’m starting to lose my ability to walk. […]