About three years ago when I was 15 my life was miserable my dad and mom died in a car accident. I was the kid who stayed to the shadows. I had to be put in foster care the same day they died. No one adopted me and never even wanted to. I was an outcast. because I was a only child i got everything that belonged to my parents and when I when thru what was mostly junk I found my dad’s old revolver and one bullet I loaded the bullet and placed the barrel in my mouth I stopped and thought of all […]

I tried again tonight, but I couldn’t make myself do it. I was just laying there beside the train tracks, having a panic attack. My boyfriend kept calling over and over but I didn’t want to hear his voice. I ran away from my house, so my grandma called him thinking I was with him. He wouldn’t stop calling and was scared, and driving around looking for me. And I knew he’d come by the train tracks, and I had 10 more minutes til the next train. I eventually just started walking home cause I knew I couldn’t do it. I’m too big of a […]

i want to watch you die
i want to see the incorporeal essence
i want to feel your pain
i used all of mine up
i have none left
i am truely empty
i want the joy of watching you die

sometimes i think im all alone.. everyone says ima slut. i feel so alone at times its like no one cares.. im 15..im tired. im tired of waking up in tears dreading the day cause all the day if full of drama and crap and soo much more.. will the world just stop.. and see the happiness and forget the drama for a little while.. please its killing me

the one man who would’ve cared about me was my dad and hes not here anymore. every relationship i’ve had has just turned to shit cuz i cant get a damn decent boyfriend. im so tired of being used and thrown away. i can never let myself even like someone again, let alone love. ever. cuz i know exacty how it will end. im a fuckin saint in my relationships, according to other men who i’ve talked to about it. and i know i have cuz i never fuckin ask for anything or expect shit and im so sick of getting shit on for it. […]

i cant stand this shit. this is ridiculous. i eat when im not hungry cuz it makes me ‘feel better’ which is so fuckin stupid. im know im fuckin ugly even though people tell me im beautiful. its usually men and i know they only have one goal so i dont fall for that shit anymore. i hate my skin color, my hair, my chest, my stomach, everything. i hate it. i dont know why god made me if i have such an ugly useless body. im 5’7″ 135lbs and not in shape so i look really bad and i dont know why […]

the tense feelings the blade the it happens blood seeps to the surface then drops down off the skin.

the ripe feeling of split skin the sight of the kuts.

the pierce of a needle. the pain setting in after hours in your body.

alot of us increase our pain to decrease other pain.

so slowly we go insane loosing the grip with reality.

a life made to last forever and we victimize ourselves how does that help

death and distruction is still that very real.

a boy dies of toxic over dose.

a girl dies of strangulation.

a mother escapes in to death.

a father escapes worry into an unknown life after death.

how do […]

Its the only way to stop the pain. Its not like my life will get any better anyways, at school, the amount of people who make fun of me has rapidly grown. The chances of me killing myself has also rapidly grown. I can’t go on for much longer. I cannot wait to die and leave this world behind.

-End

First post here. Just needed to get some stuff off, its long so be forewarned. Here goes. Im 14. Ive been depressed for 3 years, but for the last 9 months of last year, i actually inched towards what will be the closest ill ever get to measly “happiness”. Now the following paragraphs are not simply angsty teen broken heart cliches, as they may seem, but are true heartfelt confessions of a lonely boy. It all started with a girl i met 3 years ago. (already some people wilk have stopped reading). But from that exact moment on, we were lovers, and i knew i […]

I want to hide. I want to cry. But right now i feel even more dead than before. I wish he was here to tell me that everything will be okay. That he would hug me tight and stroke my hair to conforted me. But i cant get that. He isnt here. I wanna die. I wanna hang myself from my tree. I dont want to see another day. breath more oxygen into my body. Consently have chest pains, pain in lungs, headaches, sore throat,and other painful health. Why cant anyone just take a hammer and knock me out of my misery cause really. I […]

ok, I just dont know what the hell to do.. Ok I’ve never told my story on here but I think I’m gonna do it now.. so one year and seven months ago my grandmother died. She was seriously EVERYTHING to me. She was the only person I could tell everything to and she was kinda my best friend. There is no word to discribe who our relationship was.  when she died (of canser when she was 63) I was broken. But I kinda didnt understand it. I lost half of my family.. cause she was the only one who made me keep in touch […]

that’s how I’m feeling.  Valueless.  Hopeless.  I know I will never commit suicide.  But fantasizing about it has come to be comforting.  I hate it here.  I want to leave my life.

I recently wrote about some of my life(leave me alone), I still don’t let people too close and yes I still push people away and leave most at a distance. I have made some turn arounds but I don’t feel better about me. I live my life the best way that I know how and that’s day by day. I just recently got re-married in June and we have made a good life for us. We both feel the same way about life, but we don’t believe that ending our lives is the answer to our problems. I am not alone, he loves me for […]

I dissappear from my family thinking that they will eventually forget about me. Some of them tend to not care, some pretend to not see, others just look away or not see me at all. I don’t hurt myself, take drugs, or any other harmful things, but life has always been tough and I JUST don’t want it anymore.

I came close once to ending my life, an inch from jumping off the bridge until someone(police officer) pulled me by my collar and dragged me to the “safe” side of that damn bridge. I spent 18 days in a mental institute being drugged and in a […]

I’m writing here because my mother is sick. She has an autoimmune disease and I just found out that she told one of her good friends that she wanted to commit suicide. If that friend hadn’t talked her out of it, my mother would have been dead for two weeks already. My family talked to her, and I talked to her privately. She promised me that she would never take her life, that she was just scared and hopeless. She is terrified that her disease will get worse and that her quality of life will just continue to be depleted. […]

i feel like im standing in a hourglass, sand pouring down on my head. sand in my mouth my eyes my lungs, sands in everything. im running out of time. soon the sand will replace the oxegen. and the worst part everyones standing around my hourglass prision laughing, pointing. if i can only get to the glass but the sands already to my shoulders, im going to die. if i was a better person i could escape my hourglass prision, and be free. but instead the sand still falls around me and im still running out of time

Feeling really guilty and a bit upset. Someone I know online just asked me to tell them my method for suicide. I said no and now feel bad because I wasn’t prepared to help. I don’t want to be responsible for someone else doing it.  Especially as I know that this method is fairly lethal if followed to the letter. I feel in a really tricky position because I know what it’s like to want to end your life and be so desperate as to see no other way out. I’m sat here feeling terrible about the whole thing. It’s really put me on edge.

I wish I had a moment where I said “i’m ok” and someone looked at me with open arms and said “I know you’re not” as they hugged me.

I wish I had a moment where I looked across a room and saw someone smiling at me.

I wish I had a moment where someone was there to wipe my tears away.

I wish there was a moment where I could talk to someone and not worry if I could trust them.

I wish I had a moment where someone stood up for me.

I wish I had a moment where someone ran across a room just to hug me.

I […]

having failed.. and people doubting me..

i have something to prove..

that’s all.

I’m sick of life. I’m sick of getting crap from people who don’t even know me. I’m sick of being an outcast. I’m sick of being judged everywhere I go. I’m sick of walking into my school and having people look me up and down. I’m sick of having no one to talk to. No one to hug me. No one to go to when I’m upset. No one to care. No one to love me. No one to want me. Not even my family cares…Do I even have a family? My mother is never home. My father left. My brother is always fighting with […]