Have you ever had someone capture everything about you in a single word? As if that person could sum up your whole existence with a one word description? That recently happened to me when my girlfriend called me SELFISH.

I am a divorced father of 3 beautiful children and I have another child with the aforementioned girlfriend. For reasons I do not wish to go into yet, I want to kill myself. For lack of a better expression, I have reached the end of my rope. I no longer see a future with any sort of happiness and the day to day survival is breaking me […]

on the way to hell you see and think about a lot but its so little. the bodies I’ve held in my arms. the rotten corpses congealing beside my  bed. to much death to recognize a solid good life. the good life i know is that its good that their life is so bad. the good i don’t know anything about or if it really exists. lemon grass republic is the new band in heaven. lets hear the proper life. dodo doo doo la la la. bad life ahead folks. in for a treat. got a joke for you. if you had only three seconds […]

Dear Eleanor,

For a moment I was scared. For a moment, there, when I realized that I had been taking sugar pills for two days and there was no sign at all of  the usual monthly pain, I was terrified that I’d managed to get pregnant again, after I’d proved myself the worst of mothers the first time around. I stood in the shower and cried – I sat on the floor and let the water hit me, it was too hot, too real, but I sat there, and sobbed, and I didn’t even hear him come home, until he was in the bathroom, saying, “Darling, […]

I’m sorry that he had to tell you,
That you had to hear it from him
And I’m sorry that you called me up
And I confirmed those words again

I’m sorry that I lied
I didn’t spend those nights alone
I was scared, oh so scared
And everything seemed so cold

Have you ever seen the sunset from my window?
Have you ever felt the cold lonely pain?
Have you ever lived the life of a twenty-one year old girl…
I guess not, how could you understand

Well I’ll walk home alone tonight
Along a dusty, back dirt lane
Those flashing headlights will always tempt me
A […]

im not sure if i want to end my life or not. i have nothing good going on and find myself feeling worse and worse everyday. i have friends, or even people in my life that i talk to . not friends. i have no one who i can tell these feelings too. the friends i do have are fake. they say nasty things about me and then tell me its all in my head and im going insane. this doesnt help. its even started happenin at the place were i work because everyone knows each other. i want to cause myself harm so people know […]

I have no reason to live, yet no reason to die.
why can’t i just be invisible

why am I trying to look perfect if I’m going to kill myself anyway?
It just constant battles with myself, the only way to end this war is to surrender.

I want to die.  I use to be suicidal, I’ve never quite stopped being suicidal but I haven’t had quite so many attempts in the past 10 years.

I think about it routinely.   If I had a better way of doing it I may already be gone by now.  I have someone who watches me closely.  I don’t have the opportunity to do a lot if I wanted to.  Fuck these safety nets. Someone cut them.

By this time I have done my research.  I have had my share of failed attempts.  Next time, what doesn’t kill me is going to leave me maimed for the rest of my life.

I feel […]

Yeah I don’t know why Picked this site but i googled i want to leave and it brought me here. I’m not giving out my name so call me Riku.

I had the worst breakdown today. It was a very hardcore one. I mean I have had some before but nothing has been this bad. I think it was just everything that has happened added up and exploded. I can’t really remember why I started to act this way. No wait forget that I do. my father.

Which by the way I do not want to even say that he is my father. He was never really […]

Hmm… I might get struck with an idea, but I don’t know.
Any newcomers to this site. Maybe from someone telling you about it on a Facebook site, didn’t work? Okay then…

Well, life has been slow. My uncle is going to kick my dads ass for what he did and I feel injustice in that because he’s angry cuz I wouldn’t eat and I fainted.
We need a psychologist on here or something. I don’t know the reason I’m not eating, probably that my stepmom is who I hate and therefore won’t eat thanks to my hatred. It’s not a […]

Tonight I was so fucking suicidal… My friends stayed up on the computer until 2 in the morning to make sure I was alive after I took all those pills… They didn’t even know I took them. I said I put them away. But I didn’t. I don’t deserve my friends…

Someone special to me, I’m not sure if they’re ok, or if I’ll ever get to speak with them again. I also found out the guy I fell in love with is still hung up on a girl he loves, who now hates him, and he never wants to love again… I carved up […]

a year and a half ago on my birthday I was diagnosed with Guillian-Barre loss the use of one leg.  a month later I relapsed and loss the use of the other leg.  Then another relapse and became extremely weak, diagnosis was then changed to CIDP.

It was at this point that they discovered a liasion on my pelvus but they decided to hold off and get my legs working first.  Remember what I just wrote here.

So over the course of May through August I was hospitalized for the entire time, I went bonkers.  In August I lost my home and was forced to mov to […]

I absolutely hate myself. Deeply.  I am constantly lying to people I care about to cover my ass. Every single smile on my face is fake and forced. Because nothing even makes me smile. And then the loneliness sets in and weighs me down to the point where I can’ t even concentrate. My job is completely dead-end, I have no room for advancement, and I’m too much of a fucking wuss to take a risk and change jobs, or to go back to school. That has no guarantees. I’m too scared to take any kind of financial risk, even if it would be beneficial. […]

I cannot take this anymore. I screw everything up. School, friendships, everything. At school most of thebl people I know make fun of me, or do everything they can to annoy me. What great “friends.” They are just another reason why I want to kill myself. I’ll be sure to tell them before I kill myself that they were a reason as to why I will be doing it. Of course they wouldn’t care much. Nobody would care if I was gone.

-End

I know many of you may not want to hear this but trust me, I am in the same boat as all of you I have been wanting to kill myself for a couple years now and lately that is all I can ever think about.

I do go to church and believe in God but in no way am I the perfect Christian or in the position to tell others about God or how to live a holy life. I’ve had my doubts about God and despite believing, I still feel depressed everyday. I’m not here to tell anybody to turn to God or anything […]

Everything is bad.  I have a bad relationship with my parents and brother and i always will.  Everyday I go to school people mess with me.  Girls dont’ like me, it would be more accurate to say they just hate me.  I sit alone and cry in my room and pretend a girl is there hugging me and telling me they love me, but I know no one loves me.  I never felt any real love from my family or anybody really, except my friends but I think Im just a burden on them most of the time.  My family is very poor and I […]

I feel like writing about myself…… I don’t know why.

My name… well, just call me Snowy. I really don’t want to give out my name, just in case someone I know might be lurking on this website… o__o” I’m a girl. I’m 14. I’m young. I know.

I don’t really remember how I ever found this website, probably just one of those suicide Google searches I do once in a while. I started out reading people’s posts and whatnot. After I made an account, I never really had the guts to comment or really make any posts…

Well anyways.. more about me.. I have a lot of […]

but I’m still here, last week I tryd to end it. but failed…. life fkn sucks! on house arrest, can’t go out, instead I sit at home depressed, thinking 24/7… up on some serious charges, if found guilty at trial probly have to do 2 years in jail. I have social anxiety and jail is a living hell. no way I can do that much time, last year was in for 3 months. it was brutal. drinking has ruined my fkn life…. I wish I got help and quit. but I didn’t well…. I can’t blame no one but my […]

I drove home last night and all I could think about was crashing.  Getting it over.  Just ending everything.  I’m not happy; I have nothing gong for me at the moment, and I think if I were gone I would be over the pain and people could get on without me.

More and more I’m like this.  There is someone I love, but I can’t be with them.  It’s driving me into more depression, and one day I might not be able to say no.  It’s been a while since I tried to end it all, and the older I get the easier it’ll be to […]

I am a complete fuck up. I screw everything up. I push people away. They dont wanna see me. They dont wanna talk to me. So whats the fucking point. When i die should i really say goodbye to them. Is it realy worth the sofe blow for them. Should i make them any fucking better. I hate my life. I hate the people who is always stare or talk about me. I hate the people that they make me even more of a fuck up than i already am. I shouldnt leave a note. I should just leave in silence and hope they find […]