wow i’ve read stuff here and i was like… i should have been writting here long ago….
im a 19 yr old guy.. i really dont think ANYONE has it worst than me. first of all. in my childhood i’ve been abused… (lets not go there)
which resulted in me being curious for the other sex.
my family are strictly against gays and lesbians. my parents…. i wish they can divorce already… since i can remember they always fight infront of us…. for 19years i’ve watched them fight… and on top of it i had my own problems that i had no one to talk […]

There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.

I’m 18 years old. I’m a lesbian. I’ve lost the love of my life to my depression. I live with bi-polar depression. Its killing me slowly, I love people to much but I always hurt them. Christina is the love of my life and she’s with Nina now. It kills me I tell her I’m happy for her when really I’m dying from her being either her. She tells me she still loves me but she doesn’t wanna be with me I’ve hurt her to much maybe its because I tried to control her life and all I ever wanted to do was be with […]

I hate it when people say “Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem”. That’s total bullshit.

Firstly, life is temporary in itself. If we die, we’re in eternal darkness and have no memory of our life, or even any consciousness. It’s all in vain, all for nothing. If you’re a Christian, then you’d be in heaven with is supposed to be 100 000x better than life, so once again life is nothing compared to death.

Secondly, most people don’t commit suicide because of a temporary problem, it’s a constant mixture of problems that can’t be easily solved at all. Even if it is solved, it takes out […]

some people are addicted to drugs, some are addicted alcohol, but for a while now I’ve been addicted to porn. It’s a horrible thing to be addicted to, but it’s not really for the watching two people fuck just for the sake of watching them. It’s like how people are so into watching movies to get away from their lives. Except my genre of movie is rated x. I know there’s no real love between those two (which is debatable), but their acting (only the handful that are pretty convincing) makes it look like they care for one another in some way, even if it’s […]

every day i wake up n wonder how the day will be. if i will be happy or sad. I dont know if i am still in my depression or not. i Think i am. every day i always think and take a look around at life. i feel out of place. i look at other people through out the day and wonder if they feel like me or am i the only one. i see alot of people leading happy lives. i feel like im the only one with self hatred and so much anger inside me. it seems everyone else is able to […]

Sometimes. . well i should say most of the time i feel so alone. . i sit in my apartment all day with noone here physicaly. . i have tried to kill myself countless times but i never can get the balls too. The only time i feel like people care is when i am so close to just dieing. What is left in this “so called Life” . I don’t know where to turn other then alchahol or looking down the barrel of a 12 guage, popping pills and hoping i never wake up, and even running my car into a ditch hoping i […]

Hey mom,
It’s been a while since I’ve seen you. About 9 years actually. I miss you so much even though I don’t remember much about our time together. I’m sorry if I caused you any stress with me being alive. It’s probably my fault you died. I’m sorry. So very sorry. I was only 5 that day when you had your heart problem attack and I was in the room right next to where you were. I saw you fall down and I was so scared. I’m 14 now and I wish you were here with me. It’s hard growing up without you, and […]

I’m trapped in a dark gray sad hole
the light is not there, all is very dull.
Light tries to find me, but I don’t let it come.
I just decide to stay, feeling helplessly numb.

I ask for help, but no one really hears
or maybe they do, because they notice my tears
They know when I’m at my breaking point, when I’m about to die.
but maybe we could of stopped this, if they listened to the first cry.

I can’t do this all alone
it seems like this is all I’ve ever known.
I wish someone would just listen to my silent scream
for […]

I just want the pain to stop.  Every single day is the same recurring nightmare of a useless life and I don’t want another day of it.  Every night I fall asleep praying that I never wake up, and when I do I can only feel depression that I have to go through another day of the same shit.  Despite taking every type of psychiatric medication agenda and treatment,  I have tried to kill myself numerous times; cutting my wrists, trying to OD on sleeping pills antidepressants and alcohol, suffocating myself with a plastic bag and finding myself standing on the top level of the […]

I don’t know why does anybody reading this…
But if you are reading, thank you and sorry for any grammar mistakes…

I tried to kill myself when I was 7 years old.
I tried when I was 16.
I tried now, in 20.

They weren’t serious attempts. I just have not enough strengths to do my last step.
I cut myself. Burn myself. Provoke people to harm me… I see no use in this life.

I looked horrible in my childhood. I was fat. Everybody laughed at me. Even my parents.
I was alone… In the age of 13 I decided not to eat anymore.
I was on […]

Im new to this but my friend told me about this so I need to get this off my chest. I don’t want to kill myself but latly Ive been constantly crying. I feel empty and unwanted by most. My family is falling apart, my step dad and I don’t get along and I have recently started smoking. My best friend is in love ith my ex’s best friend and their dating. there not in love yet but you can tell its gunna happen. She is so bright with happniness and I want to be here for her but it just reminds me so much […]

Love killed me.

He was 19 years old, and was a wonderful kid. Our family has a history of clinical depression, and he struggled for years. He had such a happy childhood, and we didn’t know that he was so sad. He was getting medical help for the last 6 months, but it wasn’t enough. He never asked for help, and we didn’t know he was suicidal. I wish to God he asked for help.

His brother and sister (ages 11 and 13), found him hanging in our garage. I took him down. Our lives will never be the same. We’ve […]

5 years old and to think a sick GROWN man can put his hands on a child with no remorse what so ever is unbelievable. More than unbelievable, it’s disgusting, maybe even more than tht. How.? How can you manage to risk your whole life and relationship with your family for a sad pathetic excuse of a fling with someone less than half your age.  DO NOT PUT YER HANDS ON ME.! Men these days have the minds of children. He’s destroyed over ten years of my life. GROW UP, and quit touching innocent children. It’s sickening to even think about him or wht he […]

I’m so tired.
I’m tired of simply existing.

I can’t deal with my pain, and I know that life will be full of it, but even if there wasn’t any pain, I wouldn’t want to live either.
It’s just that… I tired of waking up, of talking with people, of doing everything, of doing nothing.
It’s like I feel that there’s always something missing inside of me. There’s always a hole that can’t be filled. An inability to live.
It’s normal to feel the urge to kill ourselves when we’re in pain, in excruciating pain… when we burst into tears and throw ourself to the […]

And now I lay me down to sleep, I want to fucking die. Amen

And now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the lord my soul to take, if I die before I wake, good. Amen.

And now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the lord my soul to take. I want to die before I wake. Amen.

They do not work.

My mums mum killed herself13 years ago. It comes in the family, mum used to work in a hospital (in a ward for old people) a few moths ago and I remember when one patient died and mum told me that she was jealous for him to get away from here. Mum is also depressed and so am I.

I have tried to kill myself a couple of times and been on hospital for my suicidal act. Now I am really desperate, I have been treated many years and nothing has helped. Some time ago mum and I were having a good conversation and she mentioned that […]

Almost 6 years ago is when I started to lose the grip on my depression. In hindsight depression started for me around age 13. My first suicide attempt was at age 14. My Mum was given antidepressants after my Dad left us. She didn’t take them. I did 15 pills at once. I awoke a few hours later still on my bedroom floor where I sat and swallowed the pills.My head was so foggy, I could barely walk. I stayed this way for almost 48 hours. My Mum did nothing. Later in the year I cut my wrist with a razor blade.
I still remember […]