When will they say they care genuinely and not only because it’s convenient?
I thought I was free from it…. from this..from me
I want it to be over but I can’t seem to get away
The darkness thickened and it’s harder to breathe
I can’t believe it’s back… I guess it never went away
You can’t run from yourself
one more day and i’m gone
just one
i was so close to going through with it yesterday. so close yet so far.
i’m an ignorant *****.
i’m brainwashed.
i kept spreading my fucking opinions now they are all going to fucking hate me.
since when did i became this toxic?
***** why can’t you shut the fuck up.
absolutely nothing is wrong yet i am in a dark place? no one around me would ever understand. no matter how hard i try i can’t not be sad or down. the darkness is a bubble around me. i see everyone happy, the sun out and what not but then around me it’s just dark and sad and lonely. i hate feeling like this. like i am trapped in this bubble even if i try and get out of it.
it just doesnt seem worth it.
Smile that looks innocent and happy
Its so pretty..
So pretty..
So I save it
Wondering when will I smile like that
Its so happy..
So happy..
So I save it
I just realize this when I see my gallery full of people smiling,m how I admire that smile and how I love the idol
After I graduate
I will kill myself
Before that
Im going to do everything I want and live to the fullest
Im going to make bucket list to do
I wish something good happen so I will change my mind
But I dont think so..
I always feel something weird and sick inside me
And all of that from what I thought
I think my sad mind control my body
Im sorry mom dad everyone who care about me
But I dont have dream or something I want to achieve anymore..
Im sorry
At least I finish what you want too..
I was doing fine up until last week when I ran out of my anti-psychotic medication, risperidone. It was treating my suicidal and homicidal thoughts. I was even looking for a job and got an interview But now, I ran out and can’t do any of that because my thoughts have come back again. It only costs €14 but my parents can’t give me that money as they’re abroad and left me for a month. Damn, life’s hard.
Seriously guys… I see a lot of people here because of reasons like ‘I have lost my gf/bf.. bigg sad / Problem with self confidence, anxiety, or loss of a loved one’. I’ve dealt with these issues and it just seems like nothing to me.
I’m confident, never stressed, and lost a family member and am totally fine with it. I managed to get skills like fluent english, drawing and guitar, which might not seem great for you, but that’s not the point.
The point is, I’m still depressed and I still have no friends. What the fuck? I feel like I’m the only one in the […]
If our “loved ones” really cared? Where are they? I can’t do it because my loved ones would be hurt, oh really? If they love you so much why are they not aware of your pain. Mine know and they still don’t give a fnck! We’re all programed to believe they’d be at a loss. I call “Bullshit!” After week has gone by, maybe a month at the least, they’ve moved on with their sick and selfish lives. This world is just full of contempt, a day late, a dollar short. If only we’d known… Hello!
I’m so fncking over it all. Chronic pain and illness […]
eating is now a chore, haven’t had a proper meal since Wednesday night.
i’m not hungry at all though, everything’s alright.
Its weird.
I felt everything. Now I feel nothing
I felt pain. Now I feel numbness
I felt anger. Now I feel silence
I felt crazy. Now I feel indifferent
I felt alive. Now I feel dead
I was lost. Now I don’t think I can ever find a way back
I knew it was a mistsake from the beginning but I dived in head first either way, I dont want to depend on someone to make me happy but I cant seem to make myself feel the same way. I know hes just with me cause its what it is and I also know I shouldnt make assumptions but it all tangles in a mess in my head and i honestly dont feel like thinking anymore, Im too fucked up atm and I cut too deep now he´ll notice and idk what do anymore, can I make it seem as if it were the cats? […]
No matter how many times I try and rationally weigh up the idea of ending my life, and decide it’s not time yet, a stubborn part of me just refuses to accept this reality. I just don’t want to live in this world, where I’m this pathetic broken thing. It’s pointless. There’s nothing here for me. I don’t have it in me to be happy anymore. My primary reasons for staying are not wanting to devastate family and fear of death.
But I don’t actually want to live anymore. Not like this. I’ve ruined my life, ruined my self, and there’s no fixing it. I’m just […]
What do you do when your death will crush the hearts of your parents?
I’ve been living with them for almost 2 years now, and I love them dearly. I don’t want to make them go through the pain of losing a child…but I just can’t go on, its physically difficult for me to get out of bed in the morning and the pain I’m feeling is so severe I can’t take it anymore. They’re the only thing keeping me from suicide. I don’t know what to do…
Its 8:22 PM on a Wednesday night. October 2 2018
I thought Id make it to my 16th birthday. Nov 3.
but im about to share my biggest bully. and really the one person who loves me no matter what. myself
im 15 , slender and toned, 5’10, and bleached damaged hair. im obsessed with the 80s-90s. and I want to become a journalist/ clothing designer. I wanted to be anything that I wanted. I truly believe that anyone can be anything. or at least myself.
im a sophmore in high school , im well known I guess you could say. everyone wans my life. or want to be […]
So today I stumbled upon a post on redit frontpage on r/askwomen which made me feel just so sad. It was some girl/woman asking what to do with depressed guys that vent to her in a relationship. The whole post just made me feel sad and kinda disgusted but the comments were even worse. It was basically just like: tell him to go see a therapist and if he wont stop just break up. That just seems so fking cold to me.
I mean I get it. Noone wants to date a crybaby. And in some cases therapy with a professional is for sure very […]
How much longer will l hold on l dont know.