I’m a guy and a loser. I don’t know where to start with my flaws. When people say to make a list of your good qualities I’m left hanging because I have virtually none. I am short, only 4′ 11″ hence the nickname. But it’s not that great in reality because no one takes me seriously in my high school and every other guy assumes they have authority over me. It’s not that I’m bullied at all but I know, I can see people laugh at me behind my back. I’m extremely ugly too. I never considered myself attractive, just average, until this year where […]

why is it that i cant open up?

im always the girl who covers up her pain with a smile

im scared of anyone seeing the real me

the one who takes pills, drinks, and cuts

its not right i know

but it feels so good

in a way i wish someone would find out

just so they know the real me

but what if they hate me for it

i want someone to actually care

even though i dont care anymore

im not the perfect daughter my parents have built me up to seem

but they deny me being anything other than that

i dont think i can go on much longer

the only reason im still here […]

They wait

For us

To say

Hello

Though

We call them

Weeds

But

They still

Come back

Even though

We pick them

And blow them

As wishes

Maybe the world isn’t

So horrible

Maybe we can make it

Even if we

Believe

That there is nothing left

But maybe

We should all be more

Like dandelions

Because they have

Hope

So why don’t we? 

*I know it’s a plant but still poems don’t have to make sense, do they? I think they represent something bigger that us. Which is strange but it’s a deeper meaning then the fact they’re plants. Look and maybe you’ll figure it out.

This isn’t the best I’ve ever written. Sorry if reading this was a waste of your time~

You took awayall of my joy,
You played with me, you personal toy,
You broke me inside
There’s nothing to hide
Wht has happened to you poor boy?

You took away my pain for free
Slated the numb that tourmented me
You saved my soul
From a dark black hole
But now you ask for a farewell fee

Hidden costs gone unforseen
That bein back my agony
I toss and I turn
But still it burns
To know that you’ve left me

Your my only surviving “friend”
But sometimes it feels like […]

After briefly browsing through the posts on this blog, I immediately became panicked at the number of people who want to kill themselves.

And I’ve been there. I’ve been to that place where your chest feels like it weighs a thousand pounds, where you feel dark and cold and numb and totally alone. Where you feel like no one’s there to help you, no one wants to help you… I’ve been there. And I’ve come back, though still affected.

Depression happens, just for some (like us) it takes a stronger toll. It’s been almost 4 years since my depression first started due to bullying at school. However, I […]

I’ve been suicidal ever since I can remember. I have such a bad panic disorder and I’m socially phobic so I can never go anywhere that I’m not a totally nervous wreck. I often wear sunglasses if I go somewhere because that helps. Many times I can’t even go out of the house for days and days. Then I sneak out after midnight and go to the store. I’ve always been this way so at least I’m used to it.  Because of these problems and being germ phobic I have never even had a relationship. I don’t expect to ev er have one. I don’t […]

i cant stop beign depressed, i hate my family and i have no real friends. my birthday is coming up… thats wen i plan to do it. im gona wait for noone to be home then dial 911 and make them come, ill probly hang myself

I’m so tired of this game

 And you’re the only one to blame

I don’t want to play

 This “now you see me”

Now you don’t game

I know you don’t like her

Like I like you

Like you used to like me

 Before the storm

 Before the darkness

Before I lost being beautiful

And before you lost being my beautiful

 Just shut up

 And stop trying to please

 Both of us

 Pick your friend

 And pick your foe

It’ll be worse then having

Me and

 Losing her

 If you like her so much

 Then I’m your foe

So pick

This is your mess

 So try to clean it up

Just be careful

 Or you might

Knock something else over

well all that is running through my head is how to commit suicide and i am a 19 year old and i have tried to top myself hang myself and throw my self under a train is that a good idea

I wrote it a few months ago when I first started cutting. I thought maybe putting my feelings down on paper would help me deal with it in a healthier way. It didn’t make me stop but I do think it’s made a difference.

I draw the blade across my skin
The freshly sharpened blade sinks in
Drawing forth the flowing blood
Pumping through the veins within

I do not wish for death to come
Although this is the wish for some
I simply wish for great relief
Some feeling in eternal numb.

I feel the tears caress my cheeks
I search for the relief my soul seeks

It’s me the black and ugly California woman. Today is my 38th birthday. I received my official layoff notice last week. I think death is the best way to celebrate since I have no hope for the future. Can I get through another day?IDK suicide just seems like the only choice to end the pain of loneliness. Suicide is just a quick way to get to my inevitable future death.

I wish I could run

Like I see everyone at recess do

I wish I could fly with them

Become my own

But with someone else

I have friends

But I couldn’t tell them

Because I don’t want to hurt them

Everyone else dreams

But I figure

 That they’ll wake up one day

Mayber they’ll be happy to have woken up

Maybe not

I know that dreaming isn’t bad

In fact if I could dream

 I might be happy

They can dream

And I will too

One day when I run free

I will dream

I think that I could make it

If only someone looked to me

For hope

So that I didn’t feel so useless

I guess I might be able to run one day

But when will that […]

This morning i got up ready to kill myself because i had enough. I got my brother ready and waited until my father took him to the daycare. After they left i went straight to the expired pills i have for about two years now in my cabinet and got a glass of water. I decided at one point to mix three different kinds of expired pills then throw them into the water so it will become less hard when i take it and easy to swallow so i can just get it over with. I started to drink some, i was in the living […]

I don’t know when this all started. All i can remember is this deep feeling in my chest that never went away. Constantly there, always. Sometimes it hurt, And sometimes it was just a bother. I’ve attempted (half assed if i must admit) suicide before, I naively overdosed on ibuprofen and paracetemol (i was in such a rush too go i didnt even think about what i was taking, i think i knew, deep down somewhere that this wouldn’t work), then i tried slashing my wrists. I ended up having a panick attack (which ironically saved my life), so i hopped out of the bath i was killing myself […]

It had been 5 months since the last time I cut myself.

i don’t know how to be me again, i’ve lost everything about being me. i don’t want to live like this, but i don’t know how to fix it

This is my story i guess… I grew up with two parent and my younger sister Jaidyn. My mothers Bipolar and my dad has i guess minor anger contolling problems i dotn know how to put it. I hated being home and i was always close to my grandma my mom would always say she stole me away right when i was born i practically lived with her whenever i wasnt in school . In june she died in a car accident and i was torn just before she died my parents divorced of my mother who was cheating and a custody battle began my […]

The pills don’t work.

Charlotte, this is poem number two dedicated to you.

 

She was my angel,

She put me through hell.

Her halo has shattered,

It broke when she fell.

Her wings are now broken,

Just like my heart.

The moment she left me,

My world fell apart.

I picked up the pieces,

But my heart’s not mendable.

Am I just another boy?

Thoughtless; Extendable?

Hi im 17 years old and i have tried killing myself countless times. Im not diagnosed with depression i just think about death all the time. See i grew up in a broken home, moved arond alot staying with family until my parents could afford a house on their own. Everything was fine until i turned 9. My parents told me and my brothers that were seperating. It killed me, it wasnt a quick quite divorce considering my dad lived in the basement of the tme of the divorce.ALl they did was fight. And if that wasnt bad my dad would take his anger out […]