“im having a baby
so i can kill myself
without dying”

I wish I could impress upon this person just how awful it is knowing you weren’t enough to make your parent want to stay alive.

I’m not all that sure how to begin but I guess I’ll start here: Last year when I was a 6th grader I went to a public school like most children, but this was NOT your avarage school. Rather than school it felt like I was in hell, and that I would never escape. My teacher, instead of teaching, sat behind her desk all day not giving a damn what we did. My classmates were a bunch of bitches who cared about themselves and nothing else. Because of many things that went on in that classroom I hated going to school and eventually made up a […]

The most important person in my life died 3 days ago. Its currently 2 am, the second night I have to cope. I feel sad, empty, lonely. No medical help available as the local mental health service put the “stamp” on me: attention seeker, borderliner.
I just could scream ……………. scream ………………… scream. Life is not fair.
I have to concentrate on my to children (7 and 9). I have to force myself to imagine their faces. They need me….

It feels unbeliaveble.
My dream is something that might come true.

I was right there, outside my friend’s residence, which they have a pool, not for swimming just deep enough. It’s winter in there, I bent down and touch the water, it’s frezzing cold, icy but not frozen, yet. I stand up again and I see my other two friends. I kissed him on the cheek saying goodbye, and to the other she looks at me in pain so I hug her. His tears are falling and she keeps herself strong enough to hold them. I look back at the pool, trying to see the bottom […]

hey everyone.

i don’t have too much to say but i’ll start off by mentioning that this post isn’t at all for myself.

there are a lot of people who come to this site and write down their experiences/situations for others to read, but many of us here don’t really receive help.

the only way things fall away from goodness is because of a lack of God.   so basically what i’m trying to say is that if you really want to make your life and yourself better, you need Him, and you need Him more than just an hour a week.

if you’d like to talk about Him […]

People are hypocrites . I’ve always thought it’s best to be by myself. Why? It may sound sad, but I’m the only one who understands me. I’m sick of people .And they are sick of me .Even my parents make me miserable and don’t like me. My friends avoid me. They don’t care about me, it’s the same if I exist or not. Then what? Does this makes me a bad person? Maybe. When I put all my efforts into something, it’s still for nothing. And there it comes the pain. The pain of being lonely? No. I like being by me. Just the pain […]

sometimes i have thought of killing myself but then i want to live to see how life is then it seems like the feeling never goes away

I want to stop caring, I’ve tried everything to stop caring. I’ve tried getting new people in my life, making new friends, dating many of people and nothing has filled this hole that she created. Only she can and I wish to understand it desperately. Please, can anyone give any advice on this situation? Or at least tell me I’m a pathetic moron for crawling back to her after everything that has happened. I need something, I feel like such a loser. Please help me.

Standing by myself I see a car go by with my husband and two kids in it. It keeps speeding up and there is a turn ahead. It only travles faster and faster. It rushes into the lake. The front windows are down. As soon as I realize what is happening I jump into the lake to help them out. I see the scare in my kids faces. They are too young to survive and breath in the water. Their eyes turn to glass as their bodies move in the motion of the water rushing in. I take my husbands in mine and he grabs […]

I’m sick of people. I’m always getting in their way and there always getting in my way. I’m sick of them telling me to be myself and then setting all these rules of this and that down that make me not be who I am. In a way I guess I am this this person. I mean, since I do act like this person they want me to be, that I am in fact this person. But I’m not happy this way. They say they want me to be happy… I do no think they do. If they wanted me to be happy then they […]

I’ve come to this website for months, expressing all my feelings of inferiority, hate, and disgust with myself. It’s been somewhat helpful, and the people I’ve met here seem like honestly good-hearted people with the same problem as me: they don’t wish to live anymore.

The few past events that occurred in my life have made me realize how much I don’t need this website anymore.

Two weeks ago, I walked out of the bathroom of my house and did what I look back on now as a godsend. Then, it was considered a mistake. I came out of the bathroom, tears on my face, cheeks red, […]

I have a recurring dream where I’m arguing with her again. It’s night. She is driving. She won’t listen. I feel choked by her words. She won’t stop. I can’t breathe. I start screaming. She won’t stop. I need to get away. I open the door and jump out of the moving car. I am clipped by another passing car. Neither car stops. I’m bleeding. I can’t breathe. My ribs are broken. Pain. Cars keep whipping by. I hide my eyes from their headlights. They honk at me. I’m in their way. Nobody stops to help. I’m ashamed for looking weak. I need to get […]

Okay, I am being deadly serious now. I cannot be happy living the way I am now, I’m looking for a person(s) who live in the UK who do not want to be a part of this system anymore. We will pack up our belongings and journey, we will just walk and survive. We can live in the woods and build our own shelter or move from hostel to hostel we could hunt for our own food and live life one day at a time. I am a 19 year old male and do not want my life to be about getting up and slaving […]

my leg is bleeding from the cutting i just enjoyed. i hate my life. i’m doing this to stop me from overdosing but i’m reasonably close to. its been 8 years since he died. first xmas without her and my last xmas with the other him.

what the fuck am i waiting for?

i wrote my funeral notes the other night. what songs i wanted played. a poem i wanted read out.  who i wanted mentioned. messages to the people who have kept me alive for the last tedious nearly 21years. i hope i don’t make it to my 21st but i want to be around for […]

hey everyone.

i don’t have too much to say but i’ll start off by mentioning that this post isn’t at all for myself.

there are a lot of people who come to this site and write down their experiences/situations for others to read, but many of us here don’t really receive help.

the only way things fall away from goodness is because of a lack of God. so basically what i’m trying to say is that if you really want to make your life and yourself better, you need Him, and you need Him more than just an hour a week.

if you’d like to talk about Him or […]

For the past 3 days and many more to come, my days have been a blur. My best friend’s; my brother, but support system, my everything, mother took their life. The mom has been sick for a long time, and this wasnt her first attempt. Knowing that, i thought, “how could the family not get her help sooner than before it was too late?” then i realized, the woman wouldnt accept the help that the family gave her and that wasnt the right path for her. The way she did it was the way she wanted to. The way it would take her life and […]

i really don’t have any idea how to start my post here. this is the first time i’m posting something this major. reading your letters got me thinking about the values in life. despite what you may feel right now, there is more in life then just pain and misery, loneliness, self-loathing and hate. there has to be!

i should write some things about myself, maybe you can relate to some of my thoughts. i’m 26 years old, male, actually i’ll be 27 in just one month. i’ve never hurt myself, there was no cutting, no hitting walls, nothing. i have a family with the usual […]

To those that may or may not know me.  Goodbye……………………………………………….forever.

First off, I will and can admit that I am a selfish person, but if it wasn’t for some of the shit that has happened in my life, I wouldn’t be like this in the first place. But the point of this post is not to delve in the past, but to talk about the now, no matter how large the pasts role has on it.

I am an 18 year old girl and this is not the first time I have had suicidal thoughts. I think most people on this website don’t come here to post their first-time suicide contemplations. If any of you are […]