I really don’t know how to start this. My whole life people have expected so much from me as I have too but lately I feel that I just keep messing up. I don’t study hard enough, I’ve lost my love for soccer which was my only release. Maybe college isn’t right for me. In my heart I know it’s the only way I will get out of poor life I’ve had but everyday just seems harder. The older I get the more things seem to sink in. I’m only 19 and I want to end it now. NO. I can’t but at the same […]

I am only in 16, i think i am diff. than all students or persons, like that i hate speak in class. I hate at, i don’t want to go hairdresser anymore(i was do it a lot), i just love myself, and my computer ! I am a programmer, i know c++, asm ,php and a lot ..

About 3 years ago, i was started to say “i want to die, god”. I am living in turkey, I am muslim. Because i am asocial, they just was say stupid, i still don’t know “what i can wear in conferances” etc.,

I was tiried suicide about 2 and 1 years […]

I have been fighting to stay with my baby girl for a year now and now i have another one befor i am 18 and can finally be with her in peace!!! My mom does not like that i am a bisexual i guess and so she has done everything in her power to keep me from her, she has even sent me away in the hopes of keeping me away…i love my girl deeply….it’s so hard to hold onto something that you know that you can’t have…when im finally reunited with my love will it be beautiful or just a beautiful disaster because now […]

hey everyone.

i don’t have too much to say but i’ll start off by mentioning that this post isn’t at all for myself.

there are a lot of people who come to this site and write down their experiences/situations for others to read, but many of us here don’t really receive help.

the only way things fall away from goodness is because of a lack of God. so basically what i’m trying to say is that if you really want to make your life and yourself better, you need Him, and you need Him more than just an hour a week.

if you’d like to talk about Him or […]

I wish  i was able to just give into the feeling’s and what i want to actually do, I’m not scared of death..I dont actually know whats stopping me? I’ve come to realize that drinking is only good if you dont let yourself come down from the buzz. I felt so alive and better last night when i was partying, i put on a pretty good front i make everyone laugh you barely ever see me without a smile on my face, if only my friend knew the real me, the one that came home last night and cut for an hour and a half last […]

ill keep this short.
i
fucking
hate
her.
she
has
gone
way
too
far
and
im
going
to
teach
her
a
valuable
lesson.
im
going
to
die.
maybe
not
now
but
eventually
and
she
will
realize
how
much
of
an
asshole
she
really
fucking
is.

I have turned to alcohol to numb my pain and my thoughts about committing suicide. I have nothing left to live for, this is the only way out, but I want to go to Heaven. I feel that my son had abandoned me and my husband, I would like to be reunited with my entire family, as long as we’re split up, I feel lonely and lost, then the thought of suicide frequently keeps entering my mind, I have enough pills to take my life, but I don’t want my husband to be alone.

1. Remember the old lady at the grocery store, the one with out the smile on her face? You smiled at her and looked at her eyes. You made her happy. Thats why you are alive.

2. Remember the dog you saw in the park? The mutt that came up to you and wagged her tail? You rubber her ears. She so longed for the touch of a kind person. That’s why you are still alive.

3. Remember the beautiful flower garden you saw last week? Did you look at it? No? […]

So… it’s kind of like flying in a weird-not-really-way… and flying when you have no wings doens’t work out too well… time goes by slowly when everything is grey but it goes by fast when everything is not grey. Grey… grey… grey… everything is still grey. It’s weird and confusing and weird and confusing over and over… it hurts but it feels good in a weird numbish way. Memories are so incoherent and messed up. I can’t remember… i can’t remember it… and if i do i don’t remember if it’s real or a dream, or a picture, or a story conjoured up into a […]

I don’t have reason to complain. My life mostly has been going very well, except for being picked on in middle school, and now years later, not doing well in school. I have a family and a boyfriend and other friends that love me. I have accomplished a lot and am not in debt, yet. I know that I am smart and not ugly and a good person. However, I am sensitive and overreact to things, and even though I know I am I just can’t stop myself. I know I can change things, which I am trying, sort […]

Hi, i’m just really scared. I’m not used to writing my problems down like this, but here it goes.

I’m 17. Growing up has been pretty hard. I have 2 older brothers who are now all grown up. My oldest brother is gay. When I was 8 or so he would make me touch him, do things for him. It wasn’t until i was 9 when he started raping me. I was so stupid, i had no idea what he was doing to me. He kept referring to it as ‘massage’. I always told him to stop, but he wouldn’t. I was too scared to […]

I had a suicide attempt last year. The boyfriend I lived with had recently dumped me and I didnt take it so well. A week after our breakup I woke up one morning and while in the shower decided I wanted to die. I just couldent figure out how I was gonna do it till it hit me. Im gonna go buy a gun and shoot myself. I purchased a gun and drove to my ex boyfriends house and he was just pulling out the driveway, thankfully he was there because I wanted him to see me die. He walked up to my car and […]

obviously everyone on here has a “problem” or two when it come to the thoughts of society… but I don’t think I do… as a matter of fact, I think i’m pretty normal. I have a few addictions concrening self mutilation and other things, but why, PLEASE tell me why does it matter. its my choice. i love it. its what helps keep me going. its the best thing that i could do to keep myself sane. ever heard the saying only the sane can admit their crazy… well thats so true, i’m crazy. I’M MESSED UP IN THE HEAD! but everyone is to a […]

hey everyone.

i don’t have too much to say but i’ll start off by mentioning that this post isn’t at all for myself.

there are a lot of people who come to this site and write down their experiences/situations for others to read, but many of us here don’t really receive help.

the only way things fall away from goodness is because of a lack of God. so basically what i’m trying to say is that if you really want to make your life and yourself better, you need Him, and you need Him more than just an hour a week.

if you’d like to talk about Him or […]

When I’m not with my girl it feels like I’m alone…i don’t know what else to do but cut and cry over it…what am i supose to do???

it’s unbearable, you know?

i’m sorry to everybody. every fucking body.

peace and love

I am a house wife.but I want to do job.I came to US recently but I tried for job I didn’t get.

I am frustrated.Always I am getting feeling to die.what each and every task I am feeling so.If I am unale to do any simple task I will be depressed and I feel that I am useless.

I am a waste candidate and I can’t do anything in my life.These are my thoughts.I am trying to motivate myself but I am unable to implement it.

I am really frustrated.I am feeling like I am useless person in the world.

I feel like I can’t do job anymore.don’t know […]

I’m in the same boat, guys. I deal with suicidal thoughts, depression, paranoia and all that jazz. I have made mistakes but I’m trying hard to make a better life for myself. I drive without my seatbelt because I get a thrill of having a death wish.

So if you’re interested in a CD for Christmas (with some adjoining art…these projects are fun to do), give me a shout-out at SMK5Q2@hotmail.com (No immature negative bashing please). All I would need is a mailing address and there you go. I understand that I’m a complete stranger, but music can be a powerful healing tool. And giving people […]

So i sit here every few days and I cry
I don’t want to ever come out of the dark.
I’m safe in the dark, i know where it leads.
Sunshine is only a mind tease, a reminder of something I can’t have.
So many fucked up things.
I lose everyone I love.
I just want to lose myself.
I just want to be lost forever.
I want everyone to forget about me so I can just do it.
I want to die.
I pray to die every day.
I am 20 years old, when I was 16 they called it a “phase”.
When will […]

Today

Was horrible.

I got nasty stares from everyone of her friends.

I felt them burn my back with their hate, saying it was my fault.

Saying “go fuck yourself emo girl! Go cut and die!”

Im sorry.

I didn’t mean to hurt her, to bruise her.

I just was so hurt that a complete stranger would judge me.

Hurt me.

Break me.

The very little friends I have are now staying away so they don’t get bothered by her and her posse’

What have I done??

IM SORRY.

I wish I could work things out with her.

I feel bad, its all my fault…..

Why….???????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

When I got home, I cried and my mother pounded on my door, insisting I […]