I just prayed for my death tonight.

I did this a few times before. I won’t say I’m extremely religious, but I do believe someone is out there. It’s comforting sometimes. However, it wouldn’t bother me too much if I crossed to the other side and was just met with a blank emptiness. Honestly, the eternal quiet would be a good change of pace. So whether I’m proven wrong or right, as long as I get to rest in peace, that’s fine with me.

As for the reason I prayed for my death, let’s just say I’m terrified. I’ve been low key terrified for months now about […]

I am Me. Thats all I have ever wanted to be. But me being me has never been enough for anyone, ever. Silence calms me, the dark sings lullabies til I finally go to sleep. Sometimes, which is most of the time….I truly have nothing to say to you or anyone and it never bothered me until it bothers everyone else. I have been apologetic, bothered, disturbed, mute, sad, angry, hurt because of your own feeling of being unnerved by silence. I welcome it and want to go to it.

People usually plan how to die and attempt it, I’ve done that too. But this is different and a true story.

It’s was about 2 years ago the world was after me! My work working 12 hr’s a day 6 days a week, a relationship going south, plus a billion other thing’s, I WAS DRINKING HEAVY, TAKING OPIOIDS For a good length of time. The opioids were for my back for real, I was tired, I got into the shower turned on the hot water that’s the only thing that helped my back, And suddenly I felt funny? I felt sick, I COULDN’T BREATH! So I […]

i wonder how many people in this SP community think that i should stop posting here. seriously. i am afraid that i am inadvertently hurting people on here, and i don’t know what to do. please be honest with me. xox

There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.

Hi… Unfortunately still alive. I have nobody else I can talk to, or feel like talking to about this, so I’m writing this. People normally say that I’m a helpful and friendly guy. And not a day goes by where I don’t ask myself how come I couldn’t make a single good friend in my miserable 22years of existence, where I don’t ask myself how some with no talent, no dreams, no passion like me is even alive and for what. You know the worst part is being aware of that there are others who had it worse than me and they are still brave […]

For the first time in years maybe ever I was really kinda happy. She made me happy. I thought that we had some special connection and all that bullshit… We ve been together only for couple of months.. but apparently according to her we never were… Everything was going so well and then out of nowhere she just tells me that she isnt really serious about a relationship with me…That she likes me but she has never really felt anything “more” towards me. And she isnt even ready for a relationship coz she still isnt over her ex. When her friends told me that they […]

It’s natural to pick on others who are deemed to be ‘weaker’ than you. This is not only human nature. Of course there are always exceptions to the rule…

Doesn’t mean it’s ok to do this, but it happens and always will happen.

hi everyone, im new on here.

just wondering if anyone knows what is my problem because i feel like theres an issue with me but then again its as if i dont have an issue.

anyways i have no problems making friends, i just can’t keep them. i cant open up to anyone, about how fucking superficial i think literally everyone is, and im just afraid to trust and be vulnerable. but then again sometimes i just open up about everything and anything, people think im an extremely open and cool person. yet i wonder if they truly know me?  i feel like a psychopath, and if […]

i think i will kill myself tonight. i spent a wonderful weekend with a boy i’m sure i would marry if i was still my old self. i’ll drink some vodka, write my notes, and do it. i suppose this is goodbye. i don’t think everybody is cut out to handle this world. i’m afraid. but i’m more afraid of living this way for much longer.

do you ever feel like you’re already dead ? like you aren’t really living , just going thru the motions of life and hoping to fit in ? do you really feel alive ? just curious ..  – xoxo , Li <3

I am at the airport…my plane leaves for my suicide spot in 40 minutes.    It is a really weird feeling…being in an airport for the very last time ever….I keep looking around and thinking jow weird it is that by this time tomorrow I will be dead.

I like this piece it soothes my mind and i would forget my surroundings 

I rarely post anything ‘real’ because I often find little purpose in doing so. That, and the fact that I am not eloquent in any way. Yet, I often find myself attempting to form a decent, coherent post without it sounding like a nonsensical, pretentious mess (this very post is already starting to sound like one, eh?), but nothing ever surfaces. Even if it did, I would probably go crazy with overanalyzing every word and detail contained within. I really hate my mind sometimes. I wish I could express myself with ease and vigor like many here do, but I guess I could still try. […]

Ecclesiastes 9:4-5

“Anyone who is among the living has hope—even a live dog is better off than a dead lion!  For the living know that they will die, but the dead know nothing; they have no further reward, and even their name is forgotten.”

This hope is for someone here.

I am finally ready to do this. I am not even scared of the pain anynore. I just need this to be over.

I just hope this works…

For a few weeks, I was feeling great. The best id ever felt, I had so much courage from my friends and most importantly my bf. Yet I am getting into a state where I have begin to think I am over weight. I look in the mirror every day and hate my body, my skin, my size, everything. me. just me. I used to not eat at school, id never eat breakfast. I still dont and cant remember the last time I did. I would tell friends at school I ate breakfast so they wouldn’t worry about me not eating lunch. Id then tell […]

Isnt it strange, for me its not just a want to die its a need. I don’t think I have ever expressed my emotions and the world views me as a comical/satirical kinda guy that doesn’t realy stop smiling I feel alone and im scared ive developed an issue with drugs and I feel like im suffocating yeah who gives a fuck ima go rip my bong and watch some family guy

I tried ending my misery since I was 14, took 18+ tablets of paracetamol with a combination of other otc pills only to throw everything up with a bad case of stomach ache. slept with a kitchen knife under my pillow ever since hoping to gain enough guts to run it through my chest. when i graduated highschool i stayed at my dad’s place and a voice inside my head kept urging me to jump off from the 12th floor. “it’ll only take 3 seconds to go splat. it won’t hurt.” the voice told me. but i never picked up enough courage to go through […]

I don’t see the point in going on anymore!

Ugh, I remember last time I met my ldr (was then online) boyfriend I had waited around 1 year and 3 months.
We only got back together like 3 months ago (he broke up with me for a few months in between) and I’m so impatient. Ugh fuck this! why can’t I just be patient. Stupid me.