April 13th, 2019 by peach

The day after tomorrow I will meet someone I know from online, I’m really nervous because I haven’t had any friend at all, and this might be a chance to make one. I don’t want to fuck it up, but I got so much anxiety around ppl and then I make everything awkward. It’s so pathetic that I’m 20 and I don’t have any friends..my life is a mess, I hate everything I do in life. I’m so scared that the person will judge me because the way I am in person, though I will try to act as happy and energetic as I can [...]
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idk

  April 13th, 2019 by peachuniverse

idk what to do anymore. it seems like life isn’t really for me. i feel like im such an incompetent being and i can’t pass my parents’ expectations. ive been one of those biggest disappointments in their life and all i could do is continue being a depressed shit towards them. i feel like i don’t deserve to have them and they deserve a better life without me and a better daughter that could make them happy and proud.

Antidepressants

  April 13th, 2019 by Gary555

Just want to say something about antidepressants. I’ve been taking them for about 3 weeks now and for the first time in a long time I feel pretty damn good. I know this doesn’t apply to people who have a fucked up external environment. And I know some of you have tried meds and they didn’t work. It’s for people who show up here and say my life is great and I still want to kill myself. That’s a chemical imbalance and you can go to a doctor and get help for that.

  April 13th, 2019 by BurdenOnAll

I’m just really tired. I’m not even 20 and I can’t imagine going on like this. I struggle to eat some days and I hate myself when I do. When I cut I hate how weak I am but when I don’t I hate that I don’t have the pain that I deserve. I’m a bad person. I don’t deserve all that I have. I wish I could sleep and never wake up so I never have the chance to hurt a decent, worthwhile person again.

What might have been…. and the present that I cannot seem to abide by

  April 13th, 2019 by heartlessviking

I don’t know what sick part of me likes to look up my exes and fantasize about if I had made it work with them. It doesn’t happen with the ones I had several years with, most of them I’m glad to be rid of. It’s the ones that I dated for a few weeks, a few months at most. The ones that showed so much promise. They’re amazing people that for whatever reason it just didn’t work out with. I wonder if my life would be different if I had worked it out…. then I wonder what the point is….

I’m missing a deadline as [...]
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  April 12th, 2019 by GodLike

A part of the world is dead, another is dying. Plants and animals remain alive, their life sucks. What a joke…
Things have always been shitty but now l see them better, l wanna change them but the people around me they wanna keep them as they are

Oatmeal. (Nothing serious here.)

  April 12th, 2019 by Once

(Things are a bit somber here today, so leave it to the class clown to intervene with a bit of foolishness. Stupid is my strength. So, hopefully this helps lift a spirit or nine.)

At least one time before I go bye bye, I’d like to have the opportunity to use these phrases:

Yea, though it is written

In accordance with the scriptures

Avast ye scurvy knaves

Cry havoc and let slip the dogs of war

Say hello to my little friend

Preferably at the grocery store, buying oatmeal, because that would be interesting.

If the person ahead of ME in line starts quoting [...]
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Marijuana to the rescue

  April 12th, 2019 by Rainwatch

Any port in a storm they say. A safe port, a safe haven for me is pot.  The chances of me taking my life when I have access to pot is minimal, not impossible but minimal. My experience has been marijuana placates the suicidal mind, it acts as a balm, the sheer pleasure of the sensation produced keeps suicidal thoughts at bay. I haven’t smoked in a month so my tolerance is at zero. Pot, like any substance may be a fools paradise in the long run but if you’re seriously suicidal you might find some relief.

Whining, lol

  April 12th, 2019 by Wisp

I really don’t feel like doing anything anymore. I’m going through the motions. I wonder if I’ll ever get another job or just end up stuck with this shitty one? I just imagine employers laughing at my resume and then chucking it in the bin. I’m not even on good terms at my current job. Dunno if I’ve already mentioned it but I’ve handed in a bunch of resumes lately, as usual I expect rejection or no reply… i’m still in the middle of my barista course but I’ll have to wait another week or 2 to get a place in their training cafe, so [...]
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it’s ok.

  April 11th, 2019 by freeroma

it’s ok.
Except it isnt, really. We dont say it to mean things are, we know ok is never really happening again.
We say it more to give the sense that though everything is different, it doesn’t change the foundation. Renovations mean adjusting to new paradigms, but the heart still holds.

~
Seeing a man who’s treated me like his kid bedbound is difficult. Watching him pick up his useless arm and dropping it repeatedly makes me want to cry. I’ve gently taken his arm and put it under his blanket or sheet so he stops. It’s a surrender of his body, though it likely [...]
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A possible easier way out?

  April 11th, 2019 by BehindDeadEyes

There’s a good chance that if I can ride out this crap existence a bit longer, I’ll either die of a ruptured digestive tract or stomach/pancreatic cancer. Yes, some suffering is involved, but at least if I’m terminal, there’s a guaranteed end in sight.

Beginning of the end, maybe…

  April 11th, 2019 by Yoges

I’m moving to a big city full of corporate bots into a new job I’m not fond of. It’s a new phase of my life, but I hope deep down that its the last one too. I look forward to fuck up at work and get fired (Again. I was fired on my first job). I’ll have no friends or family in that city so I guess it’ll be easier to take the plunge when I’ll be on my own.

I’m too tired for new beginnings. It’s too late to make a comeback. I want out.

I can’t help it!

  April 11th, 2019 by sadmatt

Today would have been my wife’s 32nd birthday, but exactly one year ago she took her own life because she had a severe bi-polar disorder. In her note she left me she told me tom continue on with my life, but I never have been able too. We were high school sweethearts and I have never, and probably will never, love anyone as much as I loved her, and now all the feelings have come flooding back.

Could I have stopped her?

Should I have checked in on her even though she told me she was having a great day?

I don’t want to find anyone else and [...]
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My druggie friend

  April 11th, 2019 by itzkourt

Me and my good internet friend Tori had known each other for years. We both had an interest in drugs and it got us both healthy and happy. Sometimes she would drink and she would smoke weed every day. She got into this business with a guy she knew where she was helping him sell drugs. She was a nervous girl, but she was always so kind to me and everyone. I believed she (living in Ireland) had gotten arrested for distributing drugs. That’s a long time in jail. Although she WAS 16 or 17 at the time… i would like to reach out to [...]
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Alcohol to the people

  April 11th, 2019 by itzkourt

I did a lot of drugs in my lifetime but what i noticed was the pattern of when i used cocaine and alcohol. Every time I used them, a few days later I would be an emotional spiral. I would be really mean to myself.

Alcohol may be legal but the government wanted you to keep taking them, you could become depressed and drink more, then buy anti-depressants to restart the cycle. Money flow, more spend. How much did you want to bet it costed a lot of money for you to go to rehab and therapy?

  April 11th, 2019 by GodLike

Have you ever been afraid to get out of your house because you might die?

…

  April 11th, 2019 by born.loser

it feels so good in these last days of mine to tie up these loose ends i have. it feels so nice to be so organized

Can’t afford it anymore…

  April 10th, 2019 by justnotgood

My slide started 5 years ago. Wasn’t making enough. Then I got arrested 3 years ago. Then I was fired. And for the past year I’ve been unable to get hired because of the arrest, even though no charges were brought. I’m in the process of getting the arrest sealed but its not coming soon enough. Supporting a wife and three kids. They don’t know a train is about to hit our family (figuratively). I’ve just run out of money. My cards are all at tilt. And I have a tax bill to the moon. The truth is I was never very good at anything, [...]
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Hungry

  April 10th, 2019 by LostLeo

For the last month or so I’ve been depressed enough to have lost my appetite. Of course it’s not healthy and not having that nutrition makes me generally upset. I try and force feed myself but that usually ends up in only having a few bites. Sadly the only thing that I’ve found to work is to get a buzz going with or without weed! Sure that’s not very healthy either and quite costly mind you. Has anyone felt like myself and have any tips?