December 7th, 2018 by samesh1tdifferentday
Craving for a full box of a dozen donuts
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Not even sure I deserve to speak
December 7th, 2018 by heartlessviking
I don’t know if anyone can relate: I don’t feel like I deserve to be unhappy.
My biggest issue with being depressed is not feeling like I deserve to feel these feelings. I just got done with 4 months of highly productive therapy, we dealt with a lot of my anxiety, my self image and my relationship issues. It seems like, I should be happy. Or at least I should be content, but here I am.
I don’t feel like I belong, and I know that’s a symptom. Noticing that there’s a lot of self referencing…. sorry about that. It’s an issue that needs resolving, because frankly …
I wanna cry
December 7th, 2018 by PatheticMale
I cant live like this anymore. I am paralyzed by fear and crippled by depression. All I do is suffer in school then sleep all day or get high on weed and lose time on games or youtube. I am just a fking joke. I have to stay, I just fking have to. My sisters are too young I cant fk their lives up just coz of my pathetic inability to cope. I am so fking creepy and I am just 19 years old I cant imagine what will it be like 10 years from now. I am killing myself when I turn 30. I cant live in …
Frustrated!!!!!!!!!!!!!
December 7th, 2018 by dancingwithdeath
I haven’t gone to work for a week, all I’ve been doing is lie in bed, falling in and out of sleep. This is not the life I envisioned!! I fugging hate myself for screwing up everything and hurting my loved ones!!! Can’t wait to check out!!!
what would you do in my situation?
December 6th, 2018 by tiredofchronicpain
I think the title says it all. I am curious what anybody would do in my situation. I feel beyond repair: aged 28, living with parents after graduating with engineering degree. Yes, still live with parents at my age.
I am hitting a brick wall here. I am currently working a stressful cafe job where the manager already expects so much of me. The work has too many chiefs and few indians. I really am puzzled what anybody would do or if there is a reason to keep living this extremely difficult life and battle toe-to-toe with this existence, seeing that things still doesn’t show promising …
Cutting, A Slippery Slope?
December 6th, 2018 by NO_REMORSE
I never cut before in my life, but i was in a really bad episode of depression yesterday and i did for the first time. Nothing crazy, but it gave me this rush and made me fell better.. Today, i cut more. My girlfriend freaked out when i told her about it yesterday, and i feel guilty in a way. How do i stop now? Ive only done it twice, but its like i already have this infatuation with it. Is this bad? Should i do whatever i can to stop, or is it not a big deal? I really like it.
Yep
December 6th, 2018 by Tellmewhy
Life is a serious thing. I dont like it. I can’t change it but l wish l could. I’m not meant for this serious life. I wish everything was an adventure full of happiness. How can l make it a reality?
I’m stupid too but l’ve read something and l’m amazed at how some people are much more stupid .
This is so stupid, to kill yourself over a broken tooth, the most retarded thing i’ve ever heard
Resolution
December 6th, 2018 by ebullientballoon
This time of year, lots of people are reflecting on what they’ve done the past year. They are thinking of their goals, how they mean to change, and they tell me these things. They are my friends, I love them. In this however, I cannot relate to them. The ambivalence and hopelessness I feel has created a numbness to hope or long term desire. I just keep wondering, when is it going to happen? How will it happen? Will I have the courage to finally die?
I have therapy soon. I don’t know why I even bother anymore. Lately I’ve been leaving there more stressed …
Scared
December 6th, 2018 by Black Holez
For the first time in my life, I feel truly and utterly alone. I’m scared to be by myself so much now that I actually have to sleep in my girlfriend’s home and with their family because I’m afraid – afraid that I’ll go off the deep end. Afraid that I might do something to myself. I feel so utterly lost and alone. My enemies win. They have broken me completely.
Lying or not lying?
December 6th, 2018 by Lostlullaby
So I’m seriously considering dying in a few months. Why in a few months ? Because I have amazing friends and I want to thank them for being so great by spending quality time together. The problem? They know about my depression and how suicidal I can get so they worry about me. I don’t want them to feel guilty if I die. So I want it to be unpredictable,this will mean lying about my mental state lying about wanting to stay alive. I don’t know if it is going to be easier for them, nor if lying is the morally okay way to leave
…
December 5th, 2018 by AgentQ
If you fundamentally despise your own existence, than any and all actions are equally purposeless. It makes no difference to drive your car into this building and die or accept an offer for a great job and marriage proposal. Every action is equally meaningless, because you know all roads will lead back to the emptiness inside you — the bottomless void inside you which you’ve been burdened with filling: handful after pathetic handful of pleasure and hope and commitment, knowing throughout all the toil that it is a fruitless endeavor.
Knowing all the while the only thing keeping you standing is the framework of reasoning your …
December 5th, 2018 by 678543212
I just remembered. I was thinking about how I can’t do it, I’m too scared, but I just remembered. I was choked before, and I passed out. If he kept going, I would be dead. I can do that, so easily. It was easy. It doesn’t scare me, asphyxiating, not as much as drowning or poisoning or trying to stab myself of course. I never thought about it because at home there was nothing, but here there is a wire leading to the ceiling light, and it’s encased in a sturdy pipe. I can get a strong rope around it maybe (my belts will break, …
Crying
December 5th, 2018 by ClairDeLune
There are these kind of memories that I have that I try to avoid thinking about by all means, because they give me this extreme anxiety that just comes out of nowhere, that makes me want to scream, to run away as fast as I can. Things that I said or did that seem so utterly stupid and cringe-worthy. It’s certainly not normal that it pushes me into this panic mode, in fact it’s far from it. I literally start whistling or humming as soon as a memory like that comes to mind so that I can somehow distract myself from it as quickly as …
Same shit, same roller-coaster
December 5th, 2018 by Lostlullaby
It’s been 4 years that I wasn’t in a mental institution, I m not hospitalized yet but I know where it is going. I ve been through this it wasn’t the same doctors or nurses or whatever but they are kind of all the same really. No doubt their intentions are good but they see depressed people in only one way on a fucking scale described by the DSM. Don’t get me wrong I wanna get better. Today I woke up suicidal, then ultra motivated, then euphoric, then suicidal again, then paranoid then cynical. And that’s just my average day. I know I’m clinically depressed …