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4

Anyone have unpublished posts?

  August 12th, 2018 by annon111

the rejected ones. the ones you were like “ehhhh is this just complaining to much or annoying? Does this actually have substance?”

idk

I just want to know if I’m the only one who rejects their own posts

tbh this might be one of them

the blue publish button is right there…

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16

how old is everyone?

  August 12th, 2018 by johnb991199

im curious.whats the average age of people here? im 27

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0

Constantine P. Cavafy – Trojans

  August 11th, 2018 by Taf Taf

Our efforts are those of men prone to disaster;

our efforts are like those of the Trojans.

We just begin to get somewhere,

gain a little confidence,

grow almost bold and hopeful,

when something always comes up to stop us:

Achilles leaps out of the trench in front of us

and terrifies us with his violent shouting.

Our efforts are like those of the Trojans.

We think we’ll change our luck

by being resolute and daring,

so we move outside ready to fight.

But when the great crisis comes,

our boldness and resolution vanish;

our spirit falters, paralyzed,

and we scurry around the walls

trying to save ourselves by running away.

Yet we’re sure to fail. Up there,

high on the walls, the …

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17

Recent Comments

  August 11th, 2018 by Canyon

How many of us oldtimers and even semi-new SP members miss the “Recent Comments” section? Bring it back, Admins! What the F were you thinking, anyway? Many of us come here for a little relief, sometimes comic, from the grind that is living on planet Earth. I don’t like to post that often, I’m kinda reclusive as I’m guessing many of us SP’ers are, and I miss being able to check out what some of my favorite posters are talking about, without having to scroll through all the posts…

Come on, give us a break. We’re F’ing suicidal.

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8

constriction

  August 11th, 2018 by AgentQ

ever since i was young there have been vines slowly wrapping around me. first cornering me then gripping at my body.

at first no one noticed. each year they gripped tighter. i never understood why i felt so much anxiety and fear.

before i knew it they were choking the life out of me

i panicked and began to thrash

people saw and looked in disgust because the vines are invisible to them. they just see a weird guy thrashing and flailing. screaming and shouting

i panic more when i realize no one is comming to help. the more i scream the more people vacate my vicinity

i grow weaker and …

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4

Bored, Lonely and Depressed

  August 11th, 2018 by Lifelong Loser

It’s just another typical weekend for me.

Being so unpopular that I don’t even have one friend is worse than torture.

Why can’t I just die already?!

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0

Too much 4 me

  August 11th, 2018 by OFFTheShadows

I got suicidal since 2016.

This year I gave up suicide idea most of the time, I found love and a purpose. I even could like life truly…sometimes.

But this week I discovered my body is preparing a cancer and I got suicidal again and regret not having killed myself.

I feel lonely and tired.

I think we know when is time to die and others push on me the obligation of living but what for?

 

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4

fuck

  August 11th, 2018 by numbum

i am lost. i feel so so empty inside. i don’t know how i am supposed to keep living this life.

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1

feeling suicidal

  August 11th, 2018 by herecomestheavalanche

i don’t know but i just feel like i want to kill myself today.

it’s like sophia said on the golden girls, “if you kill yourself today, you can’t change your mind next week.”

i sort of feel like that, maybe a tiny bit, but i’ve just got this overwhelming feeling of dread, just picturing myself dead, like going under anesthesia and never waking up, or maybe falling from a great height so that it looks accidental. i feel like it is really the end of the road for me.

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4

Pain wins in the end, everytime

  August 11th, 2018 by ButterBoi

I do not want to die. I really don’t. I just cannot keep living like this. I was injured. Bad. I should start by saying I am a very sensitive and empathetic person, maybe too much so, but to me people just seemed cruel, and so growing up I preferred the company of animals. I turned my empathy into a wonderful career, saving endangered species in very remote locations of the world, with very little interaction with people. It was perfect for me, and I loved it. Unfortunately, it is also very dangerous work. I did it long enough that my number finally got punched. …

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4

How to believe…

  August 11th, 2018 by spectralgiraffe

I had been told stuff about my ex boyfriend by someone else yesterday.
Have to play on my emotions…
Being told by them that he dumped me for ‘no reason’. That he lied about something re this person, that he just ‘used’ me, that he ‘likes’ hurting me, basically that he’s some person with ‘serious issues’. That he ‘subtly flirted’ with others even when we were together. This person felt sorry for me that he ‘hurt’ me

I don’t know who to really believe anymore. So I felt really confused, I started to say my ex was cold heartless and used me and dumped me and called …

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3

I feel hopeful

  August 11th, 2018 by NotSoSuicidalNoMoe

I started taking this drug my psychologists prescribed me. I was initially very hesitant to try it since she said my skin could fall off ? (though the chances of it happening were very low –and if I saw any rashes in my skin to immediately go to the ER and it would not get to that point). But I had a horrible episode a few days ago. I spoke with my boyfriend, Eric, about it. I told him how I felt and why I wasn’t so open with him. I told him that I didn’t want to stress him out or to see him …

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8

Just trying to find my way

  August 11th, 2018 by rivets

I never quite got used to this whole human thing. I don’t think I had the proper training, or the right education, and now I’m not sure about even the most basic things. What am I supposed to do, what should I say? Am I standing with the right posture, or am I standing out from ignorance of some  convention? Psychology has a lot to say about norms – acceptable standards of conduct within the group – but none of us ever get a list of what they are, or why they’re expected. I guess most people don’t have trouble with it. You can watch …

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4

Im scared

  August 11th, 2018 by iReallyAmTrying

I’m not lost but I don’t know where I am.
I’m not sure if I can’t but I don’t think I can.
I don’t want to be here, yet here I am.

I’m feeling terribly alone. Lonely really. I’m the strong person. Everyon depends on me. Everyone thinks I always have the right thing to say. On the outside and in my professional life, my personal circle, I’m larger than life. In real life, in my skin I I’m drowning. I’m scared. I’m anxious all the time. I can’t sleep. I feel like I’ve lost control. My thoughts wonder. My mind races back and forth between here and …

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24

Kids

  August 10th, 2018 by clipped-wings

I have read quite a few posts from people that come back after they grow up to offer hope. And it is wonderful to read these stories.

As a woman that is beyond child bearing, I toss out this question.

If you suffer from depression as a young woman, does becoming a mother really change your outlook?

And what about you guys?  Can fatherhood change your life for the better?

I realize it depends on the individual. I made a choice not to be a Mom for a lot of reasons. But I’m curious.

What do others think?  I know it’s a broad topic so anything goes.

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12

Back after many years

  August 10th, 2018 by exhausted24

Hi everyone! I haven’t been on this site in forever but wanted to come back and share my story. Several years ago I was in a deep black depression that I just couldn’t shake. I was on medicine and seeing a therapist but it wasn’t helping. I saw no point in living and only thought of death. I attempted suicide many times and failed… self harmed nearly every day. I saw no hope and no reason for moving forward…. but I kept going. To this day I’m not sure what brought me through but I made it out of the dark. I came back just …

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10

  August 10th, 2018 by clipped-wings

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6

Can you answer me these questions?

  August 10th, 2018 by Hulk

Do you sometimes feel like you’re something or nothing? Do you matter or you don’t?
Do you feel like if you have everything it’s like you have nothing?

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5

My first post, something I wrote at 5 am

  August 10th, 2018 by Zara

I’m fat
I’m ugly
I’m useless
I cry too much
I ruin everything
I make everyone upset
No one needs me
No one loves me
No one even likes me
I hate myself
I’m worthless
I should die
I want to die
I should kill myself
I’m flawed
I’m a whore
I’ll never be pretty
I’m trapped
I feel alone
I’m not allowed to leave
I want to cry
I’m crying
I’m sick of liars
I’m a liar
I tried my best
I can’t do anything right
This’ll never get better
I’m afraid
I’m scared
I’m scarred
I should cut
I need to be in control
I cut
Let’s go back to sleep now.

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1

Cant i just be left alone?

  August 10th, 2018 by NotAnEdgyName

Can’t i just smoke a joint without being compared to my convict brother.
Can’t i just drink a beer with my friends without dissapointing my parents.
Can’t i just be left alone without being called a freak.
Can’t i be who i am without judgement of those closest to me?

My dad jokes that he dropped me on my head and thats why i cant feel.
but i cant feel, and he doesnt know it.

My little brother jokes about me becoming homocidal because of how angry i am.
but i think about it. i think about it a lot.

My mother doesnt joke. she is serious all the time. Working, always working.
Neglecting …

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