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Inhaling helium gas is going to be my way out. I can’t forgive myself for having sex with two gay guys. And I am hetero.I can’t sleep, I can’t eat. I can’t focus on school. And everything is my fault.My mother told me not to have sex with gays but I had..All I wanna do is die to put an end to a life full of mistakes. I hope I will find peace in my death and that you will find peace too either if you stay alive or kill yourselves.
I don’t want to be ‘sick’ anymore or at least well enough I can resemble the things I want to be. Who I am is not my desire.
I’d like to work but I’m beyond just pushing myself and I’ve been denied disability.
I want to be the super mom I believed in but I’m not well enough.
I want to be able to stay with my significant other and not cry or have flashbacks about things he had nothing to do with.
I want to be all love and light.
I want to be so many things but my illness stands in my way. …
This is not a life. This is a nightmare. And it won’t stop. I can’t wake up. It has been going on for long enough that I have deteriorated into some form of subhuman creature. I have stopped eating, i mostly never shower, i don’t wash my clothes…. sometimes I keep the same stuff on for over a week, sleeping in it, going to work with it…. I told the doctor months ago that I needed help urgently. She wrote in her notes on my file “was NOT suicidal. Just trying to get time off. ” They leave me no choice. They put me in …
Hi, tired old aussie. I live in Australia too. What exactly are you suffering from? You mention “chronic pain”, what exactly cause this? How old are you?
I have had my toe-to-toe with existence(I am 28 right now) and can attest to what every member of this forum has before:”life is struggle to nothing” . From the moment I woke up, I detested life. I knew I going to be here for a long, long time. I was a c-section baby with my back turned to the world, and went through intensive care after birth. The doctors had a pain getting me out
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I don’t know how to balance the conflicting parts of my mind. My reasons for thinking I should be dead seem fairly compelling, from some perspectives. I’m not going into them here because of the guilt that involves, but lets just say I’m a really shitty person in certain ways. Family aside,it would be better for society if I didn’t exist anymore. I’m too morally compromised to be allowed to continue to live. What I am can’t be made right. And part of me just wants to stop resisting that fact – to finally end it. So the fucked up part of me that shouldn’t …
Two of my most recent posts got deleted I believe because I was linking to other websites. I know that this place is a safe space where I can vent out my frustrations without judgement, so I’m going to try again.
As I said, I don’t think I love my mother anymore. I wish I could make her see what she needs to reap when I heard that Trump is “transporting thousands of immigrant children into camp cities.” I outright said that I wanted to punch her. She chose Trump over her own autistic asexual child.
Trump turned my own people against each other as well as …
I realize there’s nothing urgent I’ve on my mind that I need to say anymore. My words serve no meaningful purpose. They never convey what I intend to. Whatever is going on in my mind is a storm of nonsense anyways, so why bother convey it through words.
I’ve decided to maintain a nihilist mindset from now on. I’m hardening my heart to remain indifferent to others suffering on my account. I’m burning bridges from this day forth. I still have a few months to playact at life but I’m finally on my way out. From here on, its pure action and no words.
So this may …
I can’t go on like this anymore. I want to explode like a bomb because l can’t solve these problems, l suffer
Im robert hulk, l changed my nick
back again. and i wasn’t gone for long. i just realized and somehow accepted the fact that i just wanna die. i mean it’s like i’m not empty anymore, but i feel just the sadness. and it just took one thing to switch my feels. i don’t wanna fight anymore i just want to go… and i’m scared that these feelings aren’t real that i’m just faking it. i mean they feel real, but i’m scared that society will be like umm she’s faking it she just wants attention… i’m tired of it all. i want to sleep but can’t, i want to love myself …
I have a girl “friend” who is a good person when she is fat and with no boyfriend but she becomes a b*tch, really a cow when she’s fitness and find a guy to fuck her. Once she finds someone to suck the cock she becomes a monster. Once she gets alone she becomes a good person and friendly. I’ve kept being her friend for all she helped me in those good times but now i dont want anymore.
I’m fed up of that. She’s 48 years old and it’s impossible she hasnt noticed what she does. She does the same with her family: use them …
All my friends (except one) happen to be associates of my ex-boyfriend. After I broke up with him, I couldn’t even bear to look at him, let alone talk to him.
Naturally, I distanced myself from my ex, which resulted in me being distanced from my friends, too.
The thing is my friends started to ignore me. They seem to think that I’m the bad one, when in fact it was probably none of me or my ex’s fault.
So, here I am. F*cking alone.
I have no one on whom I can rely.
I know that only when I tell them what really happened would I be able to …
Pain is normal and those of us experiencing chronic pain on a never ending basis know how hard it is to make friends, keep friends. Im lonely, and made a friendship, which turned out to nothing but lies. It took the edge off and gave me a chance to breathe. Now more lies has even shattered the way i would ignore everything just because I was so desperate for company and the distraction.now it’s over i’m finding the pain is worse, my whole body has tightened up, I grit my teeth so hard I break them. I want to give up on this shit life …
I was sexually assualted on Sunday… I feel physically sick. I feel so stupid for letting it happen. Now I plan on maybe telling the police and then ending my life. I cannot live with these thoughts and memories
I think a Super Hell should exist specifically for perpetrators of acid attacks. To make someone ugly for the rest of their life because they rejected you… Man.
I’ve done the medications, done the talk therapy, hospitalized – I have 35 years of psych records,so no nothing else is going to change at this point in my life. I thought I needed someone who understands my pain to give me permission to go, but I don’t now I’m at peace with the idea, have the place, time, method, its very well planned this time, I hope I fucking get it right this time, I keep screwing it up (I’m such a failure) This time I have announced it on Facebook -yesterday, told everyone I know that I am ready to go this week. …
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