I live in a world where i am always unhappy. my grades are slipping and my parents yell all the time now or ignore me. My brother is their favorite they would give him the world if they could. But to them im just that other kid who was raised by baby sitters until the age of 10. I get bullied at school. I try to hide my depresion so i fit in. Iguess i’m pretty good at hiding it too. For a while nobody knew the dark cloud that surrounded my mind. i first thought about suicide when i was about 8 years old. […]
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8 Years
I wouldn’t have pictured myself here 3 years ago, let alone a week ago. I have failed so many. I have caused stresses for family and nearly every person’s life I have touched. My family chooses to love me because they are good people. They are not the type of people who deserve pain. Thank you for your effort. I had good intentions with my life 7-8 years ago but I came across one too many closed doors. I stayed strong. Believing, good is repaid with good and hard work leads to better futures. This was not the case for me. I am not in denial, this is […]
Hi. My life story? I’m fourteen years old. My parents are divorcing, and I know it’s because of me, I was their mistake. My dad wanted kids at first, but my mom didn’t, now neither of them really want me. I have friends, and I seem like a normal crazy teenager. But hey, a smile can’t hide everything. My uncle committed suicide. I’ve thought about it many times. The only thing holding is my best friend, her brother died a few years ago. She has thoughts of suicide too. My words have always stopped her, I just wish that I could believe them myself. I’m […]
When I was still in Korea  for the exchange student program, that was the time that I was so down and determined to kill myself. However, I realized that i can’t die in a foreign country.  So I just let it pass and hoping that things will get better for myself and that I want to see my friends and family too when I get back. I actually sort of planned everything when I was still there; I’ll get a job or find something that won’t me make rely on anyone financially. I was really positive about this plan because I thought since I felt […]
The first time i was 8 years old and my dad had just left me and my mum after battling cancer. Mum wasn’t good, Dad was gone, Nanny and Granada were in Spain, my friends didn’t want to know. What stopped me? My mum caught me and took me to a therapist.
The Second time it was my 9th birthday. It was the last day i ever spook to my dad. He texted me to say that he was gonna have a son and that i was nothing to me. On my birthday. That time my now ex-best friend found me and begged me not to.
The […]
My mum is cheating on my dad with someone else. And I think I know who that person is. My best friend’s dad. I found out, and I can’t tell anyone. Because if I did, everyone’s world would change. Everyone around me will be affected severely.
I’ve been living this awful secret for almost 8 years. I knew this since I was really young. My mum left her phone at home (which she NEVER lets us use). I was young, and I went through her messages and found things I shouldn’t be finding or knowing. Sappy, disgusting messages. I read each one with tears in my […]
To be a candle, with a wick almost burned down, the wax melted so far down there is no relighting it- that’s how I see every person’s existence- as a candle with varying amounts of “wax” left, keeping them burning. Elton John was brilliant for using this when Diana perished, what seems like eons ago.
I am not being dramatic when I say I want to die. I want to end my life. I’ve lived for nearly 3 decades now, each decade worse than the last. My first decade and most of my second had me tied into an impoverished family whose only abundance in life […]
I just feel I’m not worthy of living.
People who live should want to live. They should be happy and should want to accomplish things.
Ive posted about my lists before, that was not really a success. (understatement)
Since Im very chaotic, sigh, I lost my original lists. Which lead to a panic attack caus I cant stand losing things. So I made new ones. And it bothers me really much that I dont know what exactly was on the original lists.. but anyway I’ll just add the things I forgot now later.
I thought I could maybe share the lists this time.
Reasons to die:
I am selfish;
I am ugly. […]
right im 22, i live in england and this is my story.
i met the girl of my dreams and we fell in love and after 8 years she is leaving me
i just dont know what todo anymore i feel like my whole life has just been flushed away and im losing everything. iv gave so much up for her and now im having to start all over again. originally i lived in newcastle then i had to move to london with my parents and i had to start over again and there i made friends and stuff then a few years later i met this girl […]
I guess I’ll open up my story, for whoever wants to read i guess. For the past years, i have been in such a long term depression. (on & off.) I’ve never ever been truly happy, for no less than 2 weeks or to where I didn’t even know what sad was anymore. It’s actually the other way around, i feel like i can’t even tell what happiness is. Ever since i was born, my dad was a big alcoholic. Always came home with a brown bag of liquor after work, and always stayed in his room. Telling my siblings and I, that he was […]
Recently I met a girl at College and we got on really well. A couple weeks passed and I felt like we were getting closer. She moaned about her ex a lot but I thought that was quite normal for girls to do that? She’s the first girl I’ve really spoken to for about 3 years and certainly the first I’ve had feelings for for a very long time. I actually felt alive again. We speak a lot outside of college and text a lot as well. I planned on asking her to do something socially tomorrow at college. It was a weird feeling…. Kind […]
I just registered for this site, like, literally five minutes ago, and I must say, I’m still a little overwhelmed that a website like this even exists (in a good way(I think)).
I guess I’ll just say it… approximately eight months ago, I tried to kill myself.
I’ve been struggling with severe clinical depression since I was 8 years old. The fact that I was considered a social pariah at school didn’t help matters. I have a recorded IQ of 145, but I was failing almost every class. I was capable of getting a 4.0, but I ended up graduating with a 2.6. I just stopped caring. […]
I’ve been trying hard to find a good reason that I should live. But, sadly, I couldn’t find one. I don’t wanna make things too complicated, after all, life is smiple. But, what’s a point if I am not happy?  I’ve been suffering from depression for more than 8 years. Nothing can cure me. I can cry several times a day, 7 days a week. My crying makes me so tired, but I just can’t help it. I’ve got no family, no friends, I tried to force myself to talk to others, but I hate it, I’m not confortable with it. I don’t wanna talk to anyone, and […]
I met my man bout 9 years ago in an online game,i visited him a few months after and it was love at first sight. We been happy as humanly possible for 8 years,we was 1,never fought never argued,we were so close. Till he told me on aug 6 2008 ,outta da blue, he was gonna go back to UK,alone. Everyone around us were jealous of our relationship it was that good. I begged him to why, took him some days to say anything and he just said i love you but it aint enough. Them last 10 days he was with me i could […]
It all started in Jan of 2001 I had a house fire and lost everything, actualy it started way before that with the abuse as a child from my grandfather, then later with my 2 ex husbands. But in Jan 2001 was the start of me lossing myself. It was a usual day I had got the kids ready for school, the night before I had a arguement with my husband about his drinking and his stealing my sons ridalin. So it wasn’t a good start to my day to begin with. I went to work ended up a hour later getting a call from […]
Huh, so I’m new to this whole website. I hope I put this in the right category, and didn’t miss anything vital.
(DISCLAIMER: I don’t know how to use paragraphs effectively!)
Anyway. Over the years I have read a lot of posts, heard a lot of arguments against suicide. Its been roughly 8 years since I seriously became suicidal. It started with the sadness, the depression. I felt bad about myself and my lot in life. The first three years was spent convincing myself that its okay. Now, I can accept death by my own doing.
I’m not really sad anymore. I’m pretty neutral. Which, I think, is […]
As I sit here trying to write what is so called my life, it is hard to not have suicidial thoughts…
It all started since I was 8 years old. I don’t know why then but I remember one night my brother and I were in the kitchen while my drunk dad and my mom went to the store because my dad demanded more beer. I went to the kitchen sink and grabbed a knife and put it towards my stomach I told him I wanted to die! He took it away from me. After that, it did not happen again.
Recently my ex-fiance from almost 3 […]
Every time I get a real good feeling about the right woman, I get shot down. Its always been “Your nothing”, “You don’t deserve her”, and such. And i’m really ready to just end my life. There’s no point in love or my life, im sick and tired of amounting to nothing. Being nothing is all I’ve ever been and all I ever will be. Every love has been a big f%#@ing dud, a flat line, another piece of me I just give away. I’ve been in this path of hate for 8 years now. And all its been is hate, anger, and depression. I see no point in […]
I met my husband 8-years ago, online, in a most conceivable place. My need to get away from the reality that surrounded my life led me into an unknown abyss inside the virtual world, that continues till today. I never asked for an ideal living but the constant fights between my parents were a bit too much for my 18 year old soul. I struggled with the yelling and screamings, petrified that they would someday lead to something far worse. Hiding my head under the pillow did not work for too long since afraid as I was of the fights the thought of not knowing […]
Im putting this somewhere in cyberspace since no one in my life would bother to read it if I left it here and I want someone somewhere to know my story.
Ive been alone for so long now that I can barely remember what its like to have an actual conversation and the crushing solitude has crossed the threshold of the unbearable and any hope of rekindling any kind of social connection has long since faded so its time to hang it up (not literally though im way too much of a ***** to do it that way). […]
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