So billons of ppl in the world x Amount of ppl on this site, so why are we all jis suffering so alone
Took one pill the night before to calm my nerves. Guess it was a bad one, made me vomit all day long. I couldn’t stomache anything, let alone my 16 pills. Try again this Sunday I guess
I have a friend, and our relationship had grown into something more. I have known that she has leukemia that has been in remission for a few years, but it’s back. After a long conversation she told me that she love’s me, and…. I have to say I love her too. Even with the things going on in our lives, I still assured her I was here for the long haul. I don’t want her to feel alone or like she has to face this alone like she did the first time. After a divorce that completely crushed me, I stayed alone […]
I don’t know how to live with this. With myself. I’m full of hatred & negativity. I feel so alone, & lost. I am a terrible person, but I don’t have it within me to be better. I can change my actions, but my underlying view of life remains the same. The problem is fundamental to who I am. No matter how many new starts I make, I will eventually drag myself down.
I have cut myself off from all humanity. I am completely alone. There is no meaning to anything I do. I go through the motions, clinging to the vestiges of life. But it’s […]
One year ago: I had just been diagnosed with breast cancer and was trying to absorb the reality and decide what to do. I had been invisible for so long. After the diagnosis, my family and friends suddenly realized that I exist. The sister I hadn’t spoken to in six months was suddenly very caring and concerned. Even distant cousins sent me cards and emails.
Then it was over. Surgery successful; no chemo or radiation. Yippee. Then everyone left and I was invisible once more.
Then my dad lost his battle with cancer. Two months he’s been gone. I wish I could be where he is. Wish […]
Weekends are the worst, I use to come home and cry, now i just lay in the bed and the strangest part is my mind is blank, no thoughts, my eyes open and i just lay here while the world goes about itself, im becoming numb, lonelieness in all honesty the worst feeling in the entire only, its similar too that of losing someone or something you love, its a feeling of utter hoplessness, im scared to death i may never be happy again, i’ll never meet someone who loves me, i’ll never have a normal social life,
I went to the mall today like […]
I am crying alone in my room. I have not left my bed in over 16 hours and missed work today. I have a feeling I’ll be fired tomorrow if I show up. Might not show up tomorrow either. Long story short, I am feeling overwhelmingly suicidal again.
Not that I ever really stop feeling this way, but I’m talking about the bawling, give-me-a-gun-I’ll-do-it, type of suicidal thoughts. The kind that are uncontrollable and terrifying, not the logical and cold thoughts… These are emotional and broken and angry and indecipherable. And I hate myself so much for going through all this, for thinking this way. I […]
My head really hurts, stress out, depressed, I want to escape this reality. It has been a month since I locked up myself, not meeting anyone, watching movies and dramas for escaping this reality. Hoping I could change my life. I really hate when I wake up in the morning and have to get back to reality. I dont know how to solve this problem. I want to change my life and I have many regrets. I have no one to talk to. Crying alone in my room, hoping I could escape this reality.
Hi guys, I am new to this site, came across it while looking for an outlet for my negative thoughts. I struggle to talk to people about how I feel, and I am finding it increasingly difficult to live with the loneliness of not being able to express myself. My friends are kind. I don’t have many, but the ones I do have I appreciate and are there for me often, but more in terms of meeting up and having fun, rather than being able to specifically talk to them. That’s why I am here.
For many years, I have felt insecure. I was severely bullied […]
It’s been years since I posted. My first post was when I was a sophomore in high school I think. I’m finishing up my second year in college now.
I guess being suicidal and severely depressed never goes away even when things change. I was a year clean from self harm. It’s all starting again.
My life and mindset changed irrevocably 29 months ago. i don’t really remember how!
i don’t write diary so idk, and don’t really remember anything before these two and half years.
i just remember that i was okay, maybe “happy”, just another one. anyways.
jan 2014, i decided that i can’t enter my high school finals exams cause i was afraid of not doing good and can’t go to the college that i always wanted. somehow my i drifted apart from my best “friends” and locked myself in my room for the rest of the year, about 6 months in my room alone.
my parents work all the time, […]
I can’t make it anymore. I always come back to the same point. When I’m alone, I see that my life is pointless and worthless. and I want to die again. Why? I try to live. I try to find the reason to live. I try so hard. But those thoughts…They don’t leave me…Why do I always come back to the same point?
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
I sit alone in my house, overwhelmed by emptiness which I must admit sounds like a strange sensation. It began in my chest and climbed its way up my throat and just sat there. The pressure is unbearable and it is a struggle to breathe. I can feel my heartbeat pounding in my head and I lay down and concentrate on my breathing. Breathing in I try and count to 9 then attempt to hold the air in my lungs for 9 seconds before breathing out slowly for 9 seconds. I read online that this was meant to help. It does to an extent. Although […]
If only I could meet her now…
A girl that see’s me for my troubles and doubts.
Someone willing to reach out their hand to me, help me out of this mess.
I’ve created it for myself, this world of hurt I call my life.
So far any sort of opportunity or chance at redemption has never come my way.
I fight alone, and sure I got friends but when I need them the most…they’re never there.
Can’t tell you how many times I dream of a life where I’m happy.
No shit too, I’ll have dreams where I am with her again.
But she’s always out of my reach.
No matter what I […]
You’re most likely wondering why I so boldly asked for you to read this post. Well, I did so because I have something to say that I believe will benefit you, no matter if this site applies to you or not.
I’ve had an unbelievable amount of personal experiences in my life that in reality could have shattered me from the start but instead, here I am writing this […]
Sorry for double posting. I want to have a heart attack. Im such a fucking failure. I’m so fucking alone and meaningless. I have no escape from this shit i want to die. I’m considering whether or not i can try attempt again. Unfortunately I won’t have any good attempts. Im thinking about slicing my thighs to ribbons just to express this pain.
i mean we all are tired, i’m not special.
i’m alone. lot’s of people are, i’m not special.
I’m angry
I want to trust again, to be able to open myself up.
one of my 40 “friends” on facebook noticed i left and it took 8 weeks for him to do so.
my housemate is a deadbeat and i always cover his part of the rent.
i havent spoken to my mom in at least a decade.
the only people that would miss me are those that just use me for my income anyway.
i’m a social nightmare, so i dont make friends. never speak first. never intrude….. its not that i don’t […]
another weekend, another day left behind….
time to numb shit out…. cheers……
No matter how hard we try…..there are times that actually disappoint an individual… A very common reason is the past that haunts us and those things that we really aren’t able to get over….n what if the past repeats itself or just comes back…knocking the door….saying…”Hi darling….m back!” We simply can’t decide how to react…The dilemma of the present situations adds up too……Every human in the world is born with the right to make mistakes….that is how each one of us learns….n frankly…there is no such mistake that can’t be forgiven……then why do people have a generalization on basis of a mistake and judge you………they […]