All of us here with our suicidal ideations and intentions (this post is not addressed to the wannabe saviours, bless their sweet souls) – I lurk and read, and i write and comment rather little, but I am here every day nonetheless. And the impression I’m getting is that, despite the fact that we are all weak in one way or another, some people discuss suicide from a position of strength and some from absolute vulnerability. The strong ones display vulnerability, but the vulnerable ones do not display strength. I’m not going to name names; I’m not even going to tell you which of those I imagine […]
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It has been three month now. And The hardest thing wasnt trying to suicide myself, but The month that came after i survived it. It has been a daily fight Of will, wanting to do things, even waking up. At The beggining i didnt understand all The situation and what it meant to be still alive, but nos The only thing i have to say is that im exhausted. Bits a never ending fight and effort to be and behave like normal when you know it is not. Trying to fight this and sin this dar is more difficult han living and never trying to […]
Anyone else ? I have been diagnosed with paranoia, Im a pretty crazy girl. I think extreme things and with mental illness it becomes hard to live, because people dont know why are you acting that way..they dont get it, I cried yesterday because i thought my friend was going to leave me, but there was nothing like that, im worried all the time, im taking medications to calm myself down, its hard to live like this, how do i act normal like everyone ? little things push me to suicide, i like the idea of death, i like how they put the dead bodies […]
Its not like Im some teenage girl going through tough times. iam a 20 year old adult who wants to be free, i dont care what it takes, i dont even care anymore about anything, i’ll be doing it for myself and only myself to free myself from this world, because this world is black, and i have seen colors, i have enjoyed here but not anymore, im not sad, i know this is the right thing to do and i will be getting hold of a gun soon, guns are fast, and they suit my personality.
everything is crumbling beneath me, i’ve lost two jobs. me and my dad are getting evicted, and we have to move out by the 28th and we still haven’t found a house to live in. i wrecked my car the other day and the whole right side is totaled, then i found out, my windshield is cracked and now my battery is dead so we have to buy a new one. i’m sick of everything. and i’ve had close calls with attempting suicide again like one time, i was driving down the road and i was speeding and i almost just threw my car off […]
Hi, so this is my first post. I stumbled across this website when i was googling how to cope with this world that i hate so much, all the answers were bogus and I think that this website will maybe make me feel more alive? Basically I’m very sad with reason, i guess? I know that people have it so much worse than i do, but that doesn’t excuse the fact that i want to commit suicide or leave society, which would lead to me being picked up by a middle-aged psychedelic man looking to fume me with drugs.
I want to runaway, and i have […]
Hello everyone here.Iam a long time reader of sp, I just made an account and i have psychotic depression, paranoia, high anxiety and extreme mood swings for which im on medications now. I have attempted suicide twice in three years, was hospitalised like the rest of you.. I want the end i dont care how difficult it is to die i know one day i will do it. Im in love with a girl who is still stuck in her ex, I have a habit of making people my life, so when they say or do something i dont like i get depressed. little things […]
walking down cold halls stone of the underground
waxing the words strate out of my head the candel burns
the blood red pane in my forgoten sole
did i see this comeing a life of pane and hurt
was there a time i was happy
were my heart didunt explode in to fragments with the wakeing of the sun
was there ever a time were i was hear at all
was there a time were people looked at me full stop!
was there a time were i was saine!
was there a time were i was loved…
the world falls in to darkness and i with it fall
people try to fix me look in to […]
It all begins with a scream, the scream of an innocent kid who was born in this life of sin .. that kid is me ” Ahmed Mansy”
and this is my story *well it’s not the whole story, i’m kinda bad in english so it’s a summary* , the story of my suicidal trip who was filled with good and bad days.
I grew up in my grandpa house because my parents got divorced when i was like 7 or 8 years i didn’t care or i didn’t know what’s happening i was just a little kid and everything was just too pure and lovely […]
so after a rough time with a bunch of nasty guys I decided to just live on my own, not let anyone in. I met a few guys and turned them down, too many awkward silences and dumb conversations. but one night I went on a date with a guy and for once he was a gentleman, he booked a table and he wore jeans that didnt show his bum, we laughed and i nearly cried laughing and there were no moments of scilence and he is clever, so clever and we talked about politics and current affairs and horses( we both have horses)but then after i […]
Why does it hurts so much to wake up?
Its because we were having a good dream, or just becuese we return back to life.
Today i woke up and drank the first pill even before breakfast, i headed to the kitchen asking myself if that living full of pills its living at all? Well i took some breakfast and returned ti bed, yes thats where i am, i want to cry and i want to scream, but shhhh, there is more people in the house we are not alone, and as the time go by i still look to the backyard, seeking, hoping to se something […]
I honestly believed I would never feel suicidal again or cut mysef, but lo and behold both started again today. Its been two years since I cut and 3 since my last suicide attempt. Also I was positive I would never feel like this because of a chick, but as im sure you can guess, that is the reason. It might be because I had to talk her down from suicide 3 nights ago. She just got “raped”, maybe(pathological liar), and i was the only one she wanted to talk to, I spent two nites with her just holding her. But we hadnt even seen […]
ok i would first like to say that this site blew me away and i was so impressed that so many people were able to come together and relate through some of the hardest things in their life.
so, whats going on in my life…let me start from the beginning and by saying THANK YOU to anyone who actually reads this whole thing haha. in all seriousness– my father is an alcoholic and is bipolar, i honestly hate labels because i feel like theyre a false representation of a person. yes he is an alcoholic, but when hes sober, hes great. when i was 9 yrs […]
Everyday i wake up and think why am i still here? I don’t want this life. I don’t even know why i feel this way. I just don’t wanna continue on anymore. People say life is too short, but i think its too long. I’ve tried many times to kill myself self harm, drugs, overdosing on alcohol, attempted to jump out of my bedroom window, but nothing has killed me, i think im too scared to kill myself. Everytime i try i think about how much trouble im going to be causing everyone around me the devastation ill leave behind. I like my parents enough […]
i have been on pils for over a year but i only feel more energy the pils were for taking care of my depresion but now i dont know i have a hatetrid so big but will to hold it down but i dont know were to put over 12 years of hate suffer pain so now i walk arond my doctor say im fine now but i feel emty not a box with a big hole more but just emty and burning i try to hold it away by hanging out with frends but it cant help for ever i feel like im in […]
“i could hear my heart beating. i could hear everyone’s heart. i could hear the human noise we sat there making. none of us moved. not even when the room went dark.”
i don’t know why i’m here. i can’t quite seem to figure out anything anymore. sometimes i get these little fits — my roommate calls them “funks” — in which i am just unhappy. i am upset. i am sad. i am angry, at you, and me, and the trees, at the world. and i don’t know why. i never know why. a girl is supposed to know herself better than anyone else could […]
So im a little afraid of dying which ive told myself is normal so im okay with that.What i cant figure out is why unlike other times i dont feel sad but i do feel suicidal.It bugs me cause i dont feel much of anything when it comes to emotions other than that fear of not knowing whats after this.Im still going through with it but it would be easier if i was feeling some depression along with it or some anger.Maybe i am empty inside i just dont know.My sisters leaving and i may hurt others if i dont stop my life.Im doing it […]
i dont know how to start this off but i dont know anymore, it feels like my life is falling apart and i cant do anything about it, even though its only summer, im happy about school because im gonna really try super hard this time, in grade 9 i passed most of my classes with 51s
fuck
and i didnt even pass math in summer school but thats not whats making me feel bad, its about the fact that i have no friends anymore and we used to be really close and im sure all of my internet friends hate me too
they shut me out, do you […]
Should i make a youtube channel
about my bi problem or nahh
oh and im starting to take a interest in making
songs and playing piano but the problem
is that a piano cost a lot and i cant sing
what you think?
I am 21 years old. About to drop off college. Lives with a depressed mother. Jobless. Everyone i know really doesn’t care except for my mother. I really don’t know what to do anymore. I can imagine my friends doing fine without me. Maybe getting out of their lives is just what they need to see their own lives and silver linings. I feel like disease and i want to shut myself from the world. I lied about everything. Its my 6th year in college trying to finish up a two year course and i hate it so bad that i feel like im […]