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Failure

by evildandelions 12/29/2015

written by evildandelions

I failed.

I don’t mean that I’m a failure as a person or that my fiance leaving me means I’m not “good enough,” but that I failed to be the person that she wanted to be with, the person she felt she could be with. I failed to be the person she thought of as family, as someone permanent.

This is what hurts the most.

It doesn’t help that I feel like I’m the one left behind, the one who’ll take longer to recover (if ever?). She’ll go back to school this semester, taking five classes (although honestly, based on her track record, I suspect she’ll drop at […]

12/29/2015 2 comments

Daisies of the Galaxy

by thehusk 12/29/2015

written by thehusk

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GUg9nHU9LBk

Take heart, my little friend
And push back your seat
Soon we’ll be far away
Far from the street
Where you learned how to be
Not what you are

Up on the shoulder
There is a town
With a little motel
And an old movie house
We’ll go to a movie
Whatever it is

Watching the movie
The world’s gonna end
And there ain’t no place for
A boy and his friend
To go

I’ll pick some daisies
From the flower bed
Of the galaxy theater
While you clear your head
I thought some daisies
Might cheer you up

12/29/2015 0 comment

It’s been 10 days

by outinthedark 12/29/2015

written by outinthedark

It has been ten days since i moved back home. i don’t know what i feel right now. but my head keeps trying to find ways to escape from here. i was suppose to see the person i can talk to 10 days ago.but they were out of town. and i don’t want to text them and bother them during the holidays. i know they can help figure me out right now. i don’t want to go back to college. i hated college. i never wanted to go in the first place, but i had to. if i didn’t, i would have no […]

12/29/2015 1 comment

Want to know a cool fact??

by nicole123 12/27/2015

written by nicole123

There’s so much sad shit on here , so I thought to change it up a bit. Well here is some cool facts about me.

1. I’m related to Edgar Allen Poe . He’s actually one of my favorite writers . Before I knew I was related to him I would have nightmares about him. It was a little weird. Maybe he secretly knew we were family .

2. I have the same birthday as Neil Armstrong . August 5th, 1997. Yeah I’m a late 90s kid. How cool…

3. My grandma helped hide Jews in her home in Copenhagen Denmark during ww2. It was one of the […]

12/27/2015 3 comments

Contemplating…

by anonymous1756240 12/27/2015

written by anonymous1756240

I really want to kill myself. It seems like the only way I can somehow…escape the depression and anger and loathsome feelings and be happy. I was planning on overdosing but I hear that it’s very painful. Also that if I was not successful, getting your stomach pumped would too be painful. It seems like no one really ACTUALLY cares. Even people (1) I thought was my friend sorta is though he obviously doesn’t care. At least not about me he doesn’t. Death is inevitable so does it really matter when it is going to happen? I wish people wouldn’t make it or blow it […]

12/27/2015 4 comments

I’m back to wanting to die. Same reason, there’s no hope.

by tiredthoughts 12/26/2015

written by tiredthoughts

I’ve been putting it off the suicidal thoughts or attempts. I just wake up and live everyday. Hoping, waiting.. For what I know will never come. I relive every possible discussion, decision or thoughts or reasons that I had in my mind that led me to this point. Hope and support that ppl of sp bring. I just live and don’t like it. I try and forget, but I don’t. The memories are trapped inside me of a life with someone that will never happen again. I try and do what support suggests, ask myself if theres any hope. And I know there isnt. Doesnt […]

12/26/2015 2 comments

Ruined

by JiminyCrispies 12/26/2015

written by JiminyCrispies

Despite the fact that I hate Christmas, I was somewhat having a reasonably okay day yesterday. That was until my biological dad decided to harass my mother and I during the afternoon. After not hearing from him in 6 months, he sent awful messages to us about how I’m a disappointment and useless (after understanding how bad my mental state is when he first got back into contact, he decided he couldn’t cope and thought it was best to tell me how he’s better off without someone as ‘insane’ and ‘unstable’ as me). After getting no response from myself and minimal from my mother, he […]

12/26/2015 2 comments

by Diablo 12/26/2015

written by Diablo

Gotta rely on sleeping pills to take me out of reality. Been in a shitty mood since Christmas Eve and can’t seem to shake it off. Repeating one of my mistakes which is not talking about my feelings and letting my bf think “what the fuck is wrong now” but fuck it Monday I’ll be back in Portland at my house and I’ll get fucked up in my room and sleep everything off and probably bring myself some kind of pain.

12/26/2015 0 comment

new here

by dc6795 12/23/2015

written by dc6795

so, i’m new here. (duh) i have had mental health issues since as far back as i can remember. (i am 30 years old) i never recieved any treatment for any of it until i was 16. between 16 and 18 i was in and out of the adolescent psych ward. as an adult i’ve been able to talk myself out of being placed inpatient all except for once. i’ve been in multiple programs (partial hospitalization programs, intensive outpatient programs, outpatient groups, –for an eating disorder and others for depression\anxiety– and of course individual therapy) and the groups helped…as long as i was in them. […]

12/23/2015 21 comments

Welp, here’s a Christmas post a bit early, considering the fact I’ll be traveling more than I’d like.

by thelost 12/22/2015

written by thelost

Yours truly: Hey! Everybody shut up for a second!

rocketman: No you shut up!

Moi: Who gave him alcohol? Goddammit! Was it you Hazy?

Hazy just gives thelost a sly look that clearly admits her guilt

Hazy: Certainly not me!

Myself: Uh-huh, I’m sure. Either way, I have something to say folks! It’s Christmas soon, and it’s a special time for me, even though I may not necessarily be Christian. Christmas is about seeing those you love and miss, and there’s nobody I’d rather spend it with.

rocketman: (slurring slightly) I love you too man!

Me: Good for you buddy! Now, to seal the Christmas spirit I thought we’d have Hazy perform […]

12/22/2015 3 comments

Ocean Planet

by Rotted_Flesh 12/22/2015

written by Rotted_Flesh

In the vastness of space, lies a lonely planet just waiting to be explored. A dark blue world where the depths of the sea are limitless and there is no dry land in sight. Swimming eternally alone, breaching the surface to gaze upon the pitch black sky littered with glistening stars in the night. Plunging back into this sea of light only to find indigenous creatures comforting me; I am not so different and not so alone. While I sink further and further into the void below, I am finally free and at peace with myself.

12/22/2015 7 comments

Better this way

by ChellyBreeze 12/21/2015

written by ChellyBreeze

Every week my world gets smaller.
I feel isolated, and am drowning in hopelessness.
A few months ago I reached out for help at school. They sent police to my classroom that forcibly arrested me and dragged me out of the building. From there I was sent to a hospital in the middle of no where, where they never spoke to me but diagnosed me with a mulitide of conditions I dont think I have.

My whole life, being open and vulnerable were big parts of who I am. But since the arrest, I cant talk. I cant reach out to even my friends. All I […]

12/21/2015 8 comments

I Have Fallen Under Her Spell Again

by amorsanguinis 12/21/2015

written by amorsanguinis

I don’t understand why I let her in again. It took less than 24 hours for me to fall back under her spell. I have no power in this relationship- I never have. When I left her ten months ago, I slowly started to gain my self-confidence and independence back. But four days ago, I let her back into my life. I am weak again, and I just want her to hold me and run her fingers through my hair. I am so close to my 1000th day of not self-harming, and I have not stopped thinking about cutting […]

12/21/2015 4 comments

Depression and Disability

by disgusting 12/20/2015

written by disgusting

I get a bit depressed any time I’m away from the other Buddhists. I mean, it’s exhausting for me mentally and physically to chant for 6 hours on Sundays. That was just today. Its normally 2 hours and even then I feel I’m about to pass out. My disabilities get in the way of everything in life. The worst part is when you’re poor, you can’t get anyone to say you’re disabled, because they don’t want you to get any benefits. A middle class or rich person who went through what I went through would have been handed a wheelchair from day 1. I was […]

12/20/2015 10 comments

I need help.

by unicorncat 12/20/2015

written by unicorncat

High school, a dangerous place for meet mortal teenagers who doesn’t have the looks or requirements to fit in high school. I know the feeling. My story is a little different. It’s not that typical nerdy girl is alone and all of a sudden she gets friends and moves on. No. That only happens in fantasies. I’ll start from the beginning. All through primary school I had friends. Lots of them, in fact. Some how in the 5th grade, I had a best friend at that time who always got mad at me for not doing what she did, obviously for the sake of friendship, […]

12/20/2015 1 comment

A list of things I’m overthinking…

by Bri 12/19/2015

written by Bri

It’s literally 5am and here I lie in bed… Just overthinking. Not even music is helping clear it all away. Maybe if I write it down it’ll go away.

What am I even doing anymore? Seriously, what am I doing? I’m seventeen, I start college in the spring, I have to do the dishes before everyone wakes up… Sure that’s some things, but what do I need to do to make my life fulfilling? Is it just an endless cycle or is it really going to change some?
Why do people fall in love? I think I’ve ranted about this before on here, but seriously, why do […]

12/19/2015 8 comments

I’m not sure I can do this

by outinthedark 12/19/2015

written by outinthedark

So I moved back home today. And I’m laying here, crying, because I really don’t want to be here. All I do is hide here. I don’t talk here and I can’t be myself here. And tonight, I went to my old high schools band holiday party and the one person I can talk to was suppose to be there. And I was suppose to see them and they were suppose to tell me it is going to be ok. But he’s not in the state. And no one told me. And I’ve been looking forward to seeing him all week. And I can’t do […]

12/19/2015 1 comment

This time of year

by Mary Love 12/17/2015

written by Mary Love

This time of the year is literally so hard. It is hard for me to concentrate. I hate making excuses for myself but I just try to close up this time of year. Daddy has been gone for three years now and it doesn’t get any easier. I miss him so much. There are so many anniversaries this time of year. Nov. 29th, 2012, the day I had to call the cops on my own mother because she tried to fight me in the street. Nov. 30th, 2012, the day my daddy died in my arms. Dec. 8th, 2012, the day I planned, all by […]

12/17/2015 1 comment

“words of wisdom”

by bah 12/17/2015

written by bah

Since we’ve ALL made a lot of terrible mistakes, what advice or “words of wisdom” would you give to yourself if you could go back in time? or advice to someone else so they don’t make the same mistakes you did?

12/17/2015 25 comments

In Sickness and Health // Till Death Rips Out Your Heart.

by Shephard 12/17/2015

written by Shephard

Operator: 111 Emergency, what service do you require?
Me: *pants* Police… I need to report a robbery.
Operator: One moment, I’ll put you through to police area comms.

[Phone clicks, dialtones are heard, a person answers.]

Comms: Police, how can I assist you?
Me: …I’ve been robbed. A robbery.
Comms: Okay sir, are you in any immediate danger?
Me: No, I… I think she’s gone.
Comms: Okay, are you having any trouble maintaining this conversation or any coherence whatsoever?
Me: I have my faculties about me. I’ve been robbed — not lobotomised.
Comms: Of course, sir. Can you please describe the person who robbed you and […]

12/17/2015 5 comments

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