And then maybe they would realize how bad my mental state has become and maybe they could help.
Unfortunately, due to my shitty personality (filled with ego and thinking I know what’s best) outside help hasn’t really helped me in the past.
It won’t matter if I end it all, it’s the best solution because that’s what I think :p
At first, I had it all planned out. My mom was going out and I had like 3 full bottles of medication on hand. She never checks up on me, so I felt like I was in the clear. She came home early though, and my biggest regret was not locking the door. I remember waking up in a hospital, and having my mom by my side. Of course, they wouldn’t send me home, and sent me to a mental ward.
Now let me tell you, mental hospitals aren’t like they are in the movies. But….they’re pretty freaking […]
This has been on my mind recently and I think it’s the reason why there is so much mental health issues in the world. I think our society wants to keep its nasty habits and yet still have no issues.
Like one obvious example is that it wants to blast us with models and perfect bodies and yet it doesn’t want people to have bad self imagine. It wants to load the movies, music and media with dark themes yet it wants no violence. It offers and encourages addictive behaviour at every corner yet it doesn’t want addicts. It fights all the bad outcomes with “awareness” […]
My initial and his form part of my butterfly tattoo – K and A. Unless you know where to look, they’re hard to pick out. Like a special code which requires deciphering.
I’ve known him for nearly two years. We chatted online for a couple of months before meeting up. He’s 40 next month (12 years younger than me) and shares a house with his parents and two dogs. He is on medication for depression and has […]
I had to go to college today. I was in from 1 to 5. It was the same lesson for the entire four hours, so it wasn’t as stressful as when classes switch. I was stuck on a table with the whole class (it’s small, only 10 of us and all girls), so my anxiety and paranoia was almost unbearable.
After meeting with my personal tutor yesterday, I’m allowed to leave lessons whenever I need to for as long as I need to. I wanted to every minute of class, but my anxiety stopped me and so did the fact that I knew I would just […]
It’s stupid to think that nobody would miss you if you died. Incredibly so, because someone is bound to notice and miss your presence. Your friends, family, pets, that guy you sit next to at work or class. That’s never been the issue for me, I guess.
Ive been doing so good. I thought that maybe it wasn’t so bad anymore. I didn’t want to die, I wanted to move on. Relapse really sucks. I wish…I wish that I had a better time with those therapists. I wish my psychiatrist actually helped me, I wish the pills worked but they didn’t. What […]
I started a new smaller school back in October and basically its for kids with emotional and social problems. It is now the end of February and I haven’t made a single friend which I guess is kinda sad but I’m just really bad with social interactions. I basically sit at the corner seat and dont talk to anyone all day. There is this girl who loves anime (I also love anime) and I would say I have a really good chance with her but its so hard for me to talk to her because I hardly ever see her and shes not in any […]
Well I have officially been 5 months self harm free and the last of my scars have finally healed. thought you can still see some of them faint lite pink lines. But I am amazed at my progress though it is slow and the temptation is so real is not even funny. I am doing ok I started my new major this semester and starting to go out more. Though my depression symptoms are still there and haunt me from time to time there no where as bad as they used to be. I have not been to a counselor at any point during this […]
Actually, if I only had a single word I might use “eclectic”
The inescapable THING that haunts the deepest recesses of your mind.
…right now I might feel as bad. I’ve been suicidal before, but for some reason I am not right now. Even though I’m not suicidal, I feel just about as bad as I did in the past when I did. Guess this means I’m getting stronger? Hope so. In any case, the feeling still feels bad in any context.
Anyways, what’s a suicide project post without a little sob story? We all got them, but I’ll spare you the details since it’s pretty cut and paste. I met a girl 3 weeks ago that literally met every quality I look for in a girl that also […]
I barely have any energy to type this right now. Im totally dejected. I turned 26 last week, and think Im ready to go buy a gun. I dont even know where to begin. My acne scars have totally destroyed my cheeks, my relationships, my family, my job, my entire life. Ive always held hope that things like lasers, and peels would make a difference. But after working my ass off, showing the world my deep scars to save thousands for these treatments, a year later the improvement is minor. Im right back where I started and theres no hope of it getting any better. […]
So I know warmer weather is coming soon and normally I’d be very excited because I love warm weather, but this year I’m dreading it because of my arm scars.
Last year I cut myself very badly on my wrist, I did it so badly that I get very sick from blood loss and I couldn’t get up without throwing up and my vision going blurry for a couple days. I know there is no reasonable excuse for them because they are very obviously self-inflicted so, I have been wrapping bandages around my arm and just telling people I hurt it.
I’m looking for excuses for why […]
I just can’t find any reason to live anymore. I try to be grateful for what I have because I know thousands or even millions of people have it way worse than me, but I can’t realize what I have right in front of me. I’m on the verge of failing all of my classes and I’m slowly giving up on school as well as my life. I always think about how my life will be in the future if I don’t get my shit together now, like get my grades up and whatnot. However, I also think about how I could just end it […]
What is it all really
we may set ourselves up each day to be optimistic but bad things continue to happen I don’t want to get emotionally attached to anything anymore the despair when someone you care about hurts you or when inconveniences happen is just too unbearable
i don’t want to live life hollow and emotionless but there’s no other way to get by you have to shield yourself from pain is the pleasure really worth all the torment
Was wondering if anyone one here has tried this before, kind of like running away I suppose.
I’ve had this idea now for a while and honestly I’m really wanting to go through with it.
I’m 17, failing college, deeply depressed, I have no idea what I’m doing with my life any more and some days it’s a miracle I am even here the next morning. For a while now I have had this idea in my head to pack my bag and leave a note to my family basically saying “Don’t look for me, I will find you when I’m ready.” After leaving home my plan […]
What’s people’s thoughts on mental health and suicide ?
Why do most people think suicide is such a bad thing ?
Why should someone who what’s to die Carry on living iv they don’t want to ?
What triggers mental problems to begin with ?
Add to the list I’m curious
Why am I so obsessed… Why am I so obsessed with world peace!?
Yet, I realized in order for that to happen someone first needs to become the bad guy. In order for a new system to rise, the old one must be removed… physically or mentally.
A physical reset would be one last World War where an absolute fear is ingrained so deeply that even 100 generations later still feel it. A final war that scars the land, burns the sea and splits the sky to leave a permanent reminder of the folly of individualism.
The mental reset is just as bad except it’s the ideals that […]
lately ive been crying and i hate myself so much, ive done horrible things to myself im seriously thinking about suicide with some pils. im fat af and ugly and all the bad things that someone could ever imagine. IM starting to vomit after every meal, im losing my mind lately, and no one notice.
It comes to my mind occasionally, the prospect of waking up in a hospital following a suicide attempt.
It scares me. It unleashes a new fear of doubt and uncertainty: the question of, “what if?”
What if the rope doesn’t work, then what? Or the pills? What if the bullet misses, or the height is too short? That the bag doesn’t work, or that the blood doesn’t flow? Then what? You wake up.
The simple thought of waking up the next day alive is unbearable.
The shame and guilt and hopelessness, anger, ALL negative feelings, how can you bear it?
I want to know if there are people out there […]
Hey Wiskered-fish how are things going with your meds and the extra energy discovery?
Hey ToTrees, I shouldn’t say this because you erased your post but: Hey that’s really bad, the headache thing. Hope you may sleep a little more maybe? Or would it be better a short walk?
You know what’s been killing me this last days? Freetime… I gave it all to get some freetime and it exploted on my face.
Maybe you can become an inventor (I am rambling here) and design a device to keep racoons away hahaha.
Enjoy your cofee
Hey Ylem I am crossing my fingers everything everything goes right with your […]
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