i may be abused. but all i wanna do know is hurt myself more and more. for the past week my best friend and i have been fighting constantly. over stupid issues really..thing is now were kinda sorta talking nicer but i cant trust him now. im fucked over now thinking were ganna get in another argument..weve been best friends for 7 months now and this is the first time ever we have argued (or at least this much) now when were having fun and laughing i feel guilty. cuz we shouldnt fight. hes been there since day one and has never left me..hes the […]
in every moment
there has always been
and will always be
you
never created and
never ending
you are my love
eternal
your beauty speaks
by countless stars
i hear them
i see you
far away and into time
my truth waits
not for me
but for you
~for marianna. my best friend, my love and my entire reason. she is that which beautiful dreams of becoming. she is the joy in my heart and the whisper in my breath. she is my everything…and why i am now nothing.
I must be really awesome. I do everything for everyone and in return I was told to die by my mom my sister I’m learning how to deal with (but yes she still beats me and I fucking beat her when she does) then I was thrown into a fireplace and now have a bruise the size of half my arm swollen and tender to the touch. Awh I have a good life huh? Then my mom called me ugly. And beat me with a brush. Sister suffocated me so I couldn’t scream. I hate my life I feel like I’m losing my best friend […]
i love him so much.
but why am i such a ***** to him lately?
probably cuz i feel like he dont care anymore
probably cuz my mood swings are hella bad this time the year.
i cant lose him ever. even if sometimes i wish hed just back off.
I DONT MEAN IT! i need him more then anything. i miss the way him and i used to be
yeah we live far apart but maybe thats why. maybe just maybe i need him here. but no arguing with him day after day i think i might have just pushed him away.
devin, im […]
I can’t get this feeling to go away. I feel bitter, I feel lost, I feel helpless.. I want to drink myself into a coma. I try so hard to make everyone happy even though everything is literally falling apart all around me. My best friend’s sister died 3 months ago in a drunk driving accident, she was 19.  even though we weren’t that close, she was still like an older sister to me. and I have never seen someone so young and so beautiful be so still and so lifeless. she didn’t even look like herself at all.. it haunts me everyday, all I can […]
it just seems to me now at any point in time no matter my expresion or actions it’s in my mind, i cant get rid of it and i dont think i want it to leave me sometimes, but i feel guilty about leaving, i know how i want to do it, i’ve tried before always the same way slitting my wrists i got so close recently but my friend broke down the bathroom stall before i could fully bleed out but I was so close I could feel the refreshing breath on my burning skin. It never mattered that i had friends to hand […]
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Please give me your best advice
I am a 33 year old mother of two, I was with the father of my son & daughter for 12 .1/2 years. I was 16 when we started our relationship. He was 10 years older then me and how I found out was though finding his driving licence as he told me when we first met that he was 21:- (26)was the truth  even then he still tried to say it was a fake. I should of realised then what he was all about but being only 16 young and being my first love I was blind!! I […]
I’ve been going through the motions for years now. I’ve put on a brave face, told myself if I try hard enough that life would be great, I’ve done it all. I tried drinking my problems away but my presistent optimism kept my from becoming a real alcoholic. Just recently my best friend and one of the few men I’ve ever loved got married. Out of the blue kind of married. Just a few days before all of it we were sleeping together. To top it off he got married 3 days after my birthday, lol he’s an ass but I do still love him. […]
It has been two years today since I lost my best friend and love of my life Zach to suicide. I was the last to talk to him but I was so busy I couldn’t really talk. His mom texted me the next day telling me his little sister found him and it was my fault since I was the last to talk to him and I would burn in hell with him. Not a day goes by that I don’t think about him. There is not much left for me anymore. I do not know what to do. I do not think I can […]
As hard as I tried to convince my dad that the woman I love so much isn’t some pedophile, he still wouldn’t believe me. He wouldn’t let me explain all of what I had to say. Here’s what my dad threatened to do. “If you send so much as one more message to her, I will send your psp, your phone, your mother’s laptop, your stepdad’s laptop, and my laptop into the police as evidence against that disgusting pedo so that the police will track their location down and arrest them. I am NOT F****** kidding, I will send you to juvy too if you […]
I think I like someone and I used to not like her because she seemed really immature and I just didn’t like her but we’ve been talking off and on for two weeks and I just love her sense of humor. I don’t really know, I don’t want to  like her, I don’t really have time for a relationship and I don’t want one, I just got out of one 3 to 4 months ago and maybe I don’t really want to be with her but maybe I just like her sense of humor and personality.  I’m 18, shes 30. I really don’t want to like her or enjoy her personality or even really be her friend. I have such a defense mechanism because I don’t want to […]
I don’t know what to do anymore. I came to the internet because I couldn’t cope with real life anymore so I hid myself away in my room and stayed on my laptop 24/7. But, now, I think everyone probably hates me.
I have 4 friends in real life, two of whom follow me on Twitter, which I have now deactivated. One friend is friends with many of my internet friends and she has been telling them that the majority of my tweets are lies.
According to her, I haven’t ever self harmed. I haven’t ever considered nor attempted suicide. Nobody wrote horrid things about me on […]
Am I the only one that really believes I’m a walking accident?
I mean…. I’ve lost/annoyed everyone I know and I’m to much of a freak to meet new people. Most of the time everyone annoys me, and I dont mean a small aggitation, I’m on wanting to duct tape poeople up and leave them tape to the wall…. And yeah, that’s not normal.
I’m currently fighting with my ‘best friend’. We used to be so close and now I do t even know what book she’s reading! We became friends because the group of people we hung around […]
Where do i start? My mom is my everything. we are exactly alike, well i guess im exactly like her! But she tells me all the time, that im just like her, only more open about it, and at a younger age. its hard to explain. people that know my mom and i understand, they can just tell how we are together. Example? I had an issue with my Chemistry teacher last year, and my mom called him. He said at the end of the call “I can tell youre her mom, you two have the exact same inflections” This man was on the phone […]
I’m almost 14 years old and I don’t know what’s happening. I’ve always had a good life. Protected, secure. Always a good student and had a lot of friends. In December of 2011 I started cutting I stopped after 3 months. I felt alone even when I wasn’t. Myy life was in great shape for awhile. But all of a sudden I’ve started feeling alone, I’ve cried myself to sleep and the worst part is no one in a million years would even guess that I would feel this way. I recentley fell in love with my best guy friend. My parents are splitting up and my friends […]
Some Information
I’m a 16 year old guy.
My only friend is this girl in my 6th period class. We don’t really hang out, but we talk in school. So that’s a friend right? We talk at night over the phone about all sorts of stuff. Since I don’t even sleep at night I always have to hang up on her because she’s so stubborn and refuses to sleep until I do. But even though we talk about lots of deep, important stuff at night, we have never had to say anything like “Don’t tell anyone!” She just trusts me and I just trust her.
Sorry I should choose better words. […]
I got in a fight last night with my parents again. I’m a brat.. im a ***** the worst daughter in the world. I had a migrane cause my dad keeps FAILING to give me my meds on schedule and since theirs 22 of them starting and stopping them has major side affects. I fell asleep on the couch. After waking up at 11pm i stood up to fix the pillows. And my my mom snapped saying i needed to clean them and what not.
I told her i just got up to do that and […]
Girlfriend: love me
Parents: be proud of me
Friends: like me
Brother: trust me
Best friend: laugh with me
Please just help me. I couldn’t walk to bed without crying. My leg was numb…and now I just feel this odd pain. The pain 100 cuts in twenty minutes :/ epic job of mine was to
A. Tell someone, who wouldn’t even help me (I don’t blame them)
B. Hit a wall. Fuck.
I’m 15 and I cant understand why I am alive.  Life just seems pointless, we live we get hurt we die. the end
is there something like a point to it ? I understand there’s happiness in live but is it really worth  all the pain we go through?
My heart has been broken so many times I don’t even know if there’s any of it left.  Everyone iv ever loved in my life has been
taken away from me some how, my step dad died of cancer and my mom was taken by drugs and my dad by alcohol . my sisters
following down the same path as my mother. I have a boyfriend who i care […]
Last night I was talking to my best friend and realized there is so much going on with her. I was wrong. She’s cocky and rude on the surface but on the inside she’s just as insecure and sad as I am. I love her to death, and the things we said to each other last night will always stay with me. She asked me to promise to never self harm or starve myself ever again, and I said I was going to try. I am trying. I’ve been 12 days clean, and I hope I stay clean for the rest of my life.
My suicidal […]