Hi… I really need to get something off my chest, so I’m posting it here and I hope no one will mind. This is going to be kind of a long ramble. So, I’m 21 years old. I have no friends, and I have never had friends. My mother is overbearing, my father a drunk. I’m awkward around people, which is probably because I’ve only spoken to a few people in my entire life. (I’m on the extreme end of the social anxiety spectrum and I’ve always found it difficult to talk to people I don’t know.) People give me strange looks whenever I walk […]
here’s a sum up of me. I am: a *****, a wannabe, stupid, annoying, a loser, a twat, self centered, whiny, judgemental, biased, traitor, lier, ugly, unwanted, big headed, bitchy and over powering
I should be; dead
I found my dadas vodaks and i drunk it drunk it all up. Like the bigger man supossed to be. Hahahahhha, what a *****. he deruves it for lying to me. Don mess with da drugs. i think i did it to stop he from drinking it heself but i cant really focus right mow. meow meow meow. i ment to say now. you know what? being drunk isnt as great as people say. i knocked my lamp over and it cut me. cutting is waaaay butter. and i don know hich site im on but it seems kind of nice. its all purple. I think i […]
Hey everybody, I’m new here…..kind of. Anyways I felt like I wanted to share my story, but I have no idea where to start or how to start. So I’m just going to ramble on and on until I feel like it should end.
I guess I was always suicidal. I’ve always thought of suicide as a little girl and its almost an obsession now. I remember trying to commit suicide when I was six or seven, but not strong enough to push the steak knife into the skin of my neck. Such a weak little girl I was. Anyways about two years ago is when […]
Who am I? I was born November 22nd, 1997. My parents?.. Ha, no. I didn’t have any. They abandoned me in a apartment all the time so they could go buy drugs! Why? I don’t know. Both of them had been in and out of jail multiple times. One day, while they were off getting drugs, I was at the apartment and neighbors heard me crying. They called the police… The police knocked on the door. No answer. They kicked down the door. I was taken away. I remember being in a cop car starring out the windows while it moved. I had no idea […]
I know that for a lot the new year doesn’t seem like it is going to be full of great things or maybe so far the year hasn’t been good. Just keep positive because I have been there and I know what it feels like to be completely alone and wanting everything to slow down and stop. Sometimes no matter what people said to me like ” don’t worry, this will pass” or ” ignore what others say” or the best..” this is just temporary” ended up pissing me off more because when it is you personally going through a rough time no one knows […]
I have no real reason to kill myself. I guess I’m being really selfish and unreasonable. My boyfriend left me oh..about month and a half ago. I really loved him..no..I was obsessed with him. I still am. After he left me I threatened to kill myself and his mother found out. He still really cares about me, he only left in the first place because he thought I could do better. It really destroyed me inside. I’ve done awful things. I’ve cut, I’ve lied, I’ve threatened to kill myself, I’ve tried to blackmail him and I’ve used other people. I feel worthless, unattractive, unable to […]
Depression…It can come to anyone but that doesn’t mean it comes to everyone. It doesn’t just HAPPEN like that either. If you’re depressed, there’s a reason to it and it’s not something silly or stupid, it’s actually quite serious.
Right?
So that means all the people telling me that I’m looking for attention are wrong, and that something has happened within my lifespan to cause depression in my life. I’m not being an a**hole, attention-seeking or anything. I’m actually depressed.
But then there’s no cure to this. No-one to talk to around me, those whom I CAN talk to are far away, nad many people […]
u hurt
me. be greatful i tolerate ur ignorance. cherlyl.
u old woman. no i dont forgive u even though iknow how much ur hurting inside . honeslt y theres nothing u could have said that could have made me feel worse u useless *****
These past few days have been hell for me. I went on vacation with my family and well, my prediction was correct. It was miserable except when we did stuff like skiing and tubing. All the time in between was hell on earth. My sister was a ***** to me always being nasty and criticizing me and whenever she did the whole family joined in. So now i realize that i dont have a safe haven anymore. I have no support from anyone really. Anything i do is wrong. I have no friends except for the few i talk to in school but none that […]
Erggghhh! Why the fuck am i still here?! I’m sorry but i need to get this out, and it won’t be the same if I dont swear.
Im going to admit this now, I’ve told No one this ever. But fuck it, let’s tell a bunch of strangers! I’ve been screwed up since birth. I was born witha type of arthritis in my joints, so walking, crawling, sports, all of it was painful. Eventually people noticed I wasnt like everyone else. I’ve been bullied ever since I entered those school gates. But i was too nice, and no innocent […]
i love him so much.
but why am i such a ***** to him lately?
probably cuz i feel like he dont care anymore
probably cuz my mood swings are hella bad this time the year.
i cant lose him ever. even if sometimes i wish hed just back off.
I DONT MEAN IT! i need him more then anything. i miss the way him and i used to be
yeah we live far apart but maybe thats why. maybe just maybe i need him here. but no arguing with him day after day i think i might have just pushed him away.
devin, im […]
I attempted suicide last night again.. but as you can tell i didnt succede. I took a handful of prenatal vitaims but just ended up heaving my guts out along with some blood. My dad and i got in a huge fight, cause i hung up on him in the morning while running for the bus.
It got worse when he planned TWO doctor appointments in the middle of my end of course test. I was pissed so i sent him a angry text in all caps. Then when i got home i went to a friends to install a game onto my computer and we […]
Me and my friend are sitting in my room im putting on makeup like i always do…i put it on my scars though not my face. and she just sits there staring at me “what? why are you staring?” i ask her “It’s just, you say your depressed. but why are you depressed you have no reason you have the perfect life! I mean, your popular, your beautiful, the dance is like two months away and you already have 23 boys wanting to take you! why are you so depressed?” I think about it, and i know the answer but it sounds stupid even in […]
I got in a fight last night with my parents again. I’m a brat.. im a ***** the worst daughter in the world. I had a migrane cause my dad keeps FAILING to give me my meds on schedule and since theirs 22 of them starting and stopping them has major side affects. I fell asleep on the couch. After waking up at 11pm i stood up to fix the pillows. And my my mom snapped saying i needed to clean them and what not.
I told her i just got up to do that and […]
For as long as I remember, the darkness has been a comfort and a haven to me, my only one really, when I was little I never crawled in my Mums bed. I never had a nightmare when I slept in the dark. It’s tranquil and still, I knows some people are afraid of the dark and I know there are reasons for that.
I think the dark holds no terror for me because I always carry a little of the shadow with me, granted sometimes it’s a real ***** to manage and sometimes I break down but the dark is always there in the […]
Life’s a *****! And then you die! This is sad, but sometimes true and in cases like mine, i have lowered my standards on everything! Happiness, school, friendships! And now, im tired! Im just so sleepy and SCREW medication!
3 years back, my family was in a severe economic crisis – we were broke. Living in a family friend’s house as a whole because we had to move out of our own; my father losing everything he had, spending time in jail and still having debt; having to move to a country quite literally running from money. It was a very bad situation.
But, bad enough as it was, my mother started turning into someone – no, showing a part of herself that me and my sister never knew was in her. She became a total *****. I know it’s unacceptable to be saying stuff […]
I’m 17 years old and my mom is getting remarried for the 3rd time in 3 days. I hardly know the guy. He’s moving into our home and i’m  not thrilled. step parents always try and act like they’re your own parents and it’s bullshit. My dad is the only one who understands me. ONLY one.  He’s on drugs as always, who knows where.  I’ve had depression and wanted to kill myself ever since summer after 5th grade. I still don’t know what caused it. Probably just the manic depression,anxiety and bipolar that runs in both sides of my family finally kicked in my system. […]
Why can’t I work up the goddamn courage? I want so badly to pick up my razor blades and cut away the pain, but all I can produce is a wimpy ass tiny nick because I’m too damn afraid.
I want so badly to take that bottle of pills and swallow them all, but whenever I’m alone I’m either too scared, or I’m crying too hard to unscrew the goddamn lid. I want to vent, but nobody wants to listen any more. It’s one thing to type it to complete strangers, it’s another entirely to tell the story of a thousand tears to my friend. Apparantly […]