I decided that it’s no longer about living because I have to. I’m going to live because I need to. My mom is currently in intensive care I came home and found her blue from lack of oxygen. She can’t breathe on her own. My mom is everything to me. She came back when I was 12 and saved me and my brothers lifes. I won’t give up until I know she’s fine. I blame a lot of this on myself the lack of oxygen is from to many medications because she was in pain because she was stressed about me. My mom has a […]
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So ive never been a blogger or anythig but I would like to share my story so people can relate. When I was younger I was bullied at home and at school. My dad was always very mean to us whicj is sadly common. I was a very sick child and they thought I would die at an early age. I was very skinny where you coul see all my ribs and my eyes sunk in. People often made fun of me at school for being so sick. I was bullied all through elementry school for being ugly,sick, and dumb. Life was very hard for […]
This is my first time on here, so i think i should telll you my past. when i was younger i was a really happy kid. my whole life was laughter. untill my parents divorced, they both remarried i was an only child but now my dad has 3 girls and my one sister is deaf and another has a hole in her heart. To make it worse my aunt, my bestfriend just passed away unexpectedly and my house just bunrt down… i used to self harm really badly but i learned to stop. i now have eating problems, in the last 3 days i […]
i have a lot of problems in my house, my dad is not here anymore he got kidnapped like 4 years ago and i just want to die. I have never cut myself or anything im so weak i know and today i found out i got a stepsister and i cant believe my dad did that to my mom. My school hates me and i dont have a prom date my friends are all gone and i cant deal with this anymore i cant find something to hold on i just want to die and it feels like im falling into this deep black […]
I’m bored so….The first time, I was 14, I was scared to death my dad had a meeting at the school and he was going to find out I was flunking out. Â I went into the cabinet and poured a bunch of Aspirin into my hand and swallowed them. Â I laid in bed and closed my eyes. Â This was my most sincere attempt because at the time thats what I knew, I had heard on TV (lots of times) about overdosing on pills. My teenaged brain didn’t have the defense mechanisms it has today. Â All that happened was I ended up sleeping for 14 hours […]
I really don’t know what I’m doing. I’m extremely suicidal, I have no fear of death and I welcome it’s emptiness. However, I have this insane little happy part of myself that won’t shut up about all of my hopes and dreams and how they could still happen. I really feel like two people at once sometimes. I don’t know whether to feel good or bad that they both agree I’m ugly and look nothing like they do in my head. (I have a lot of self-hate.)
I think it might be worse because I don’t feel like I have the right to feel this way. […]
To be honest I don’t know why I put up an act and lie that I’m happy. I’m not. Maybe one day but I don’t know my future it’s not clear to me why my life is filled with so much hate regret and sorrow. I don’t know how to tell them that I’ve not been okay I hate to see the worry in my mom’s eyes and the guilt that my dad has. It’s just to much for them to take.. Sitting here in silence and not being able to talk or cry and hug my mom. I came to realize that they have […]
When I was 8 year old, I thought I was living a perfect life. I had both parents living with me. I had a older brother and older sister who took good care of me. I thought everything was going alright… I now know what a lie I was living.
My Dad was a alcoholic. My siblings tried their hardest to hide this fact from me. It worked and I didn’t know much about my Dad. I only knew that he comes home from work at night to sleep which was a lie. He was unemployed. He came home every night to take my brothers money. […]
i feel like i have a shit life even if people say im lucky. i have a dad who now cant even talk to me or even keep his promise. so yes i feel like a peice of shit because the only thing i want know is for him to actually care but i guess it is usless. all i ever do is try and hope. hope things will get better hope that ill have an actual family. but im done trying to hope for things that wont happen i give up.
i wish someone would shot me, cut me so deep and have me somewhere […]
My life…..its miserable…why…..because I am alone…I used to have a loving mother and dad…..three brothers and a sister…I used to be happy….
Now…..
I am sad…..all the time, and the worst part….whoever does truly see my torn heart….usually never talk to me again…”Your too depressing” or “I’m sorry but I want to have a Happy friend”…..no one takes my hand…I ask for help..i plead…with my eyes….I’m dying inside….I try to scream ” Help me…I can’t take this no more….”
I hate my appearance the most…..doesn’t everyone like me hate the same thing…. I hate people…they stab you in the back…it […]
I’m sorry in advance if my spelling and such get a bit messy in this post, too much to say to be able to concentrate.
My mom gave me a Zippo today with her old initials and my dad’s, and much earlier I had reflected on the story about the boy who soaked his bath robe in gasoline and lit himself on fire.
I’ve been cutting lately, and one is in plain sight. I wrote over it in sharpie, but its red around it so I assume people have noticed. I confessed to someone I plan to befriend that I cut earlier, but I said […]
dear mom dad if they take me away for trying to kill myself this time or if get what i want and die your just going to have to deal. Im tired man im just really tired.Sick of never feeling happy no matter what i do sick of relapsing.Sick of medication.sick of therapist always canceling.
well im done know it wasnt your fault but rather all mines cause i didnt try hard enough.maybe ill get my wish this time and regret what i did.Maybe ill back out of this thing monday but i very much doubt it. Theres a lot of bad things happening […]
Hi,
My username is an anagram so if any of you care to do a little word play, you can figure out my real name, but thats not why I am here. I am here to tell you, the reader, a story. A story about me and why I want to die, yet cannot achieve presently.
I was born January 25, 1987. My mother was a drunk at the time and my father was smoking crank. I am the result of a one night stand. An accident turned paternal, if you will. My very first thought, I remember, was when I was still an infant, unable to […]
I hate feeling like this every day. I hate never wanting to get out of bed. I hate knowing that things will never get better no matter how hard I try. I hate knowing that I was doomed from the start to end up like this. I hate how other girls  whine and complain about how terrible their lives are, and yet they have boyfriends. Like, seriously, SHUT UP. At least SOMEONE cares. At least you have enough luck that guys are willing to be seen in public with you and you still have the hope of a happy ending. I have no hope. I have no […]
i’ve been down since forever and this spring i’ve had enough. I feel trapped inside my heavy body and can¨t wait to get out. i avoid social situations but my BF has many friends and sometimes they come to our place. I mostly hide in my bedroom and he’s ashamed. But I can’t stand social situations. I start crying. Everyone’s looking weird at me and I’ve lost them forever, I will always be the weird chick that started crying. I hate it when my bf says i don’t try hard enough and that he’s ashamed of me. My dad used to tell me […]
Hey everyone !
I guess I just need some place safe to share my story before I put an end to it.
I am almost 18 now and since the day I was born I never found anything that was worth living for.
My dad used to beat up my mom , so I would stay with my grandma sometimes , so that I didn’t have to witness it. Growing up my mom ended up finding a way to escape with me and my brothers.
We were okay for a while…
My dad didn’t care about me anymore , and I had serious self esteem issues. […]
Hello.
I’m 13, And have a crazy family. I Have a bipolar raging mother who beats me occasinally, A dad who could give less of a fuck, a brother and sister both younger who always push my buttons even if i’m already crying, and a grandma who doesn’t help.  My mom is mainly the reason im here. I’ve been suicidal since i was 9. I’ve grown up mentally as well, i stay locked in my room almost everyday wondering what  to do and how to die. I have countless scars on my arms from cutting, thinking it was the only way to escape , and now […]
One good reason to live?.. i don’t see one, i just don’t desire life anymore much like anyone who knows the feeling of constant loneliness, it is never ending no matter how hard you try. I’ve been trying to “be happy” for the past few months only because this girl who i could’ve called my best friend was telling me there are reasons to be happy.. Note i am also inlove with her… Or was atleast, i have no idea where that stands but that was the last thing i cared about. Now that its gone? I really couldn’t tell you what i plan do to […]
I have officially decided to make sure I kill myself this time. I don’t know exactly when, but it’s going to be soon. Â The only time I’ve tried it was around 6 months ago. I took a pack of razors to the alternative school I was attending at the time, went to the bathroom, and started cutting my arms. I only managed to get through the first layer of skin at first. I knew this wouldn’t be enough to bleed out so I took the razor and started slicing into one of the long wounds I had already made and I hear a knock at […]
I cant breath I cry and I am facing a pillow I ralize I cant breath and I am holding my breath half of my mind is telling me its okay and my body is screaming WHAT ARE U DOING START BREATHINGSTOP BEING STUPID AND IS CUSSING I looked info on suicide and how people act I noticed I am like that ii cry and say how did I get here and I realize my mom is a drunk and druggie she dint even care enough when I was in her stomach to not do drugs not me or my lil sist. but my […]