im meant to be drinking with a friend tonight and we’re meant to be taking Coke.. As bad as it sounds, I keep thinking of how easy it’ll be for me to od on it considering my heart problem and the alcohol intake. I feel that Overdosing is the only way to stop my pain, I don’t want to leave anyone but I can’t deal with the fact that I feel my heart breaking everyday over things that I couldn’t of avoided. Why should I be punished for loving the wrong human?
One day one day not feeling alone one day smiling and thinking it’ll be alright one day is all I got ik it won’t ever really be though always alone anyone else lonely feel free to message me I care and am easy to talk to usually kik is itsjustianmooneok email is shiftydaytoday@gmail.com
I feel like life holds no purpose for me. I want to die. Everyday i wake up and ask myself is it over. Why did God make me so inadequate? I hate being here. So many times I’ve tried to end my life. They don’t work. I cut but the hurt still finds its way back. I can’t live with feeling unloved. Unheard. Misunderstood. Alone. Confused. Hated. It hurts being me. I smile but no one knows how much it takes to do that. I make it look easy but its not. I just need someone to help before i make the next step. I […]
I find it extremely difficult to actually make decent real life friends.
I’m 15 years old and all the “Real life friends” ive had up until this point have either used me or don’t care about me and make fun of me.
I made another post about most of my life and in that post I explained how I had cancer from when I was 9 up until I was 14. most of the people I know call me cancer boy and some people act so scared of me because they might catch my disease even though it is not contagious (obviously) and I do not have […]
I’ve been through it all.. it started when I started high school to when I lost my first boyfriend. I tried overdosing on Pain Killers nothing happened… nothing ever happens. I try to hang myself.. over 10 times and it always end up to me taking it off my neck and being weak about it. Because in all reality who really wants to die right? We just want the pain to end. But it doesn’t last. But Lately I’ve been letting this whole suicide thing get to me. I’m literally thinking about doing it tomorrow and succeeding. I don’t know what else to do. This […]
just posted my happy, hopeful goodbye letter this morning. i knew it wouldn’t be so easy. to be positive and live happy, that is. already crying, hopeless. sucks. good night
i feel awful when I’m alone i feel like no one loves me or wants to be around me. which is probably true, i mean people just don’t like me. idk why I’m always nice maybe ill tell some bad jokes that aren’t funny sometimes but the good jokes come a lot more often than the bad. Maybe I’m not the coolest guy ever but people love me when we’re drunk i guess because its easy when neither of you can follow in conversation and just say whatever pops into our heads. but i guess my deep seeded hatred of myself comes from my inability to be […]
I hate how you have to be easy, confident and convenient for people to like you. If you’re fucked up it’s like you’re made of poison.
I’ve always been an indecisive person: even down to the most simplest of things. School is one of those things. Although I hate it, no doubt, education is very important. I just recently turned 17 and I took two separate years off of school (due to various different factors) and should technically be a senior in high school yet I’m a sophomore…oh and I haven’t even gone back to school yet this year because I’m not sure if I should go through with “letting go” or if I should go back to school. Yep, I’m a straight up loser. I probably would choose to go […]
I already know how it’s going to end for me. My life has been a never ending nightmare and it’s getting worse not better. I grew up severely neglected in hellish poverty, my first suicide attempt was in high school, I don’t have actual friends just people that know who I am, my biological relatives hate me because I’m gay, I’ve had every horrible job a person can have even though I went to college, I have a mountain of debt from college, the only man I love won’t have anything to do with me, and in 2010 I snapped and drank a glass of […]
I really appreciate the comments you made on my last couple posts. You’re the type of friend that I wish I could hang out with on a regular basis. It used to bother me that my group of friends only took time out of their schedules to hang out once every couple months, but now I don’t care at all. They’re all drinkers but none of them smoke, and I don’t drink but will smoke my weight in cheeba, so being with them tends to get boring after awhile anyway.
I find that people who don’t light up are trapped in their own way of thinking, […]
Hey, so I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m defective. Nothing I try and do changes how I feel I should just end it all. Its been this way for as long as I can remember just a constant over whelming feeling that I’m not suppose to survive this thing we call life. I’m not trying to wallow, nothing majorly traumatic has happened in my life its just my serious and honest opinion. Ending it would be so easy but I can’t seem to get that right as I said I’m defective. I thought I was ready tonight then time got away with me and […]
There’s this bridge in the town that I live in that a lot of people have committed suicide by jumping off of. They put suicide barriers up but I noticed there was a hole in them and I could get through it to jump if I wanted to. I feel like jumping would be an easy way to go so I’ll probabay do that soon.
There was a time when I was fairly content with life. Took a lot of things for granted, things I should’ve cherished but instead just let them pass me by. I let myself just dwindle, sliding down further without me even knowing it. I wish there was a way I could go back in time and tell my reckless, dumb self to be more wary and careful. This all stemmed from me never looking at myself with love, I always thought I had to prove something, to be someone I was never meant to be. I should’ve just accepted who I was. If life presents […]
They had it easy, honestly. Two seconds of pain and now they go out as heroes. Nobody questions anything they did, ever. This universe is so strange. If a stranger shoots us in the head, we instantly become heroes. If we do it ourselves, people call us cowards. Of course there is actually nothing heroic about being shot in the head by a stranger, and nothing cowardly about raising a gun to one’s head and pulling the trigger, but that won’t stop the masses from judging as they will.
Suicide
it seems so easy
no more pain
just one little step
and your life becomes in vain
it’s just so tempting
no more sarrow
a couple of pils
and no tomorrow
it seems about right
no more suffering
just one little cut
and no more fighting
its just so soothing
no more contest
just one quick shot
and your finally at rest
just jump off the bridge
across the river of life
lights out forever blind
but what of the hurt
of those you leave behind
this is a video of the trains that come though my home town. Notice the very low bumper on this coal train? It would be very easy to fling me off instead of decapitating me like I wanted to happen. Plus these trains don’t travel very fast, like a bullet fired from a shotgun would. I watched a number of these videos. Coal trains like this one have that bumper to sweep shit off the tracks, like a person. http://youtu.be/EEZ0JkOcO1Q
I’m 30 and never had a boyfriend- never had anyone say they like me or ask me out. I have tried everything (and “nothing), I went to a big college, graduate school, tried online dating and really worked at it, I have hobbies and friends. I’ve tried EVERYTHING, but I just can’t connect.
It seems so easy for other girls, and I’m losing friendships now that all my close friends are married, and my coworkers, too. I feel like this is never going to change and that my life is a big mistake.
After another failed Saturday night out, I feel totally hopeless. My family, my job, […]
Should I take the razor again? Should I bang my head against the wall again? Should I think of suicide again?
Why is life unfair to me? On and on I kept asking. Could it be due to my ignorance, my defiance? But it is still an open question for me, with more questionable answers. I have survived this long by embedding into my mindset that life is unfair and I must accept it. But I am asking again now… Why? Why is there nothing to do to but accept? Why must someone born to be so broken? Why must someone’s path be so crooked? […]