Tag:

find

Finding an empty book

by Cordless 4/21/2016

written by Cordless

Imagine you are in an emotional crisis and you need to feel comfort and consolation, so you turn to the photo album you keep. You open it, hoping to find good memories from those few moments in the past when everything seemed okay, even if only for a short while.

But when you open the photo album, it is mostly blank and empty. 90% of the pictures have been removed, and you are left with nothing more than what your spotty memory can recall.

This is how I feel when I go back through SP, trying to re-live good memories from favorite fun conversations in the past– […]

4/21/2016 28 comments

My mind walks in the sun while I hide in the shadows

by sammyp 4/20/2016

written by sammyp

4/20/2016 0 comment

perception of time/reality

by 4beyondhelp 4/19/2016

written by 4beyondhelp

I’m not sure if the way I perceive it is normal, so can you all let me know on this? I usually don’t have an innate sense of if something that happened was 3 days ago or 3 weeks ago. I have to go by numerical dates, or if I don’t have those, I have to carefully go through the logical sequence of events and match up specific events before and after whatever I’m thinking of, and find numerical dates for those so that I can come up with a range and figure out when it was.

I can mostly remember things that happened yesterday as definitely having been yesterday, […]

4/19/2016 2 comments

Scary videos

by claritee 4/19/2016

written by claritee

I’m easy to scare. To deal with my overwhelming anxiety and depression I’ve been watching scary clips on YouTube. Anything that I can find from ghosts caught on tape, strange disappearances, weird coincidences, creepy pasta… Anything. It helps. I get scared. It’s become addictive to feel scared of the paranormal instead of just having this agonizing anxiety. I actually welcome a ghost. Anything to shake up my life, anything for a moment not to think about my constant pain.

The thing is, I don’t really know if I believe in any of it. I still get creeped out. But being creeped out feels so much better […]

4/19/2016 5 comments

Do you guys ever…

by claritee 4/18/2016

written by claritee

Ok, so I realized that I’ve been doing something weird. I’ll find myself laughing or smiling about something, and then I’ll focus on it and feel bad about laughing or smiling… then I immediately think of stuff that makes me depressed and I shift right back into my depression. It’s like… I refuse to allow myself to feel any kind of happiness.

I don’t know what this is… It’s like I’m punishing myself. I don’t understand what I’m doing to myself.

Does anyone else do this?

4/18/2016 7 comments

Meant to be dead

by chelle428 4/16/2016

written by chelle428

So it seems like every time things seem okay then they just go to shit. Today I was driving my car when the engine died, but the car was still going because the speed I was already traveling at. Since the engine died the brakes and power steering went out right before a curve in the road so I had to try and get the car around the curve. I did and I got it stopped. I wish I would have been going faster when it happened so I could have just let the car go and let it kill me.

My job has stopped giving […]

4/16/2016 1 comment

Screwed, totally screwed and panicking

by chelle428 4/10/2016

written by chelle428

So my work only scheduled me 9 hours next week. I don’t even know what the fuck I’m supposed to do, I can’t live on that, that’s not even 70$ worth of pay for me. And usually when they start doing this to people then they keep doing it every week. I have to find a different job probably and I’m so stressed because finding a job here is so hard, our states economy is in the shitter and there’s almost no jobs and no one hiring. Like how am I even supposed to survive? No idea what I’m going to do, it seems like […]

4/10/2016 4 comments

New Kid On The Block

by silence_littleB 4/9/2016

written by silence_littleB

I was just reading “I Was Here” and they talked about this website. It introduced me to it and honestly: I’m glad.

Safe place to talk? YES PLEASE!

Safe place to talk WITHOUT JUDGEMNT? I wish I found a place like that before now.

Ive read some posts you all have made and I know I belong here, which is sad. It makes me sad that we’re sad. Why is happiness so hard to find? Can’t it be as easy as it used to be? What happened to the world that suicide rates and depression/anxiety rates have increased dramatically? But a slightly more important question I personally should […]

4/9/2016 3 comments

AN OPEN LETTER FOR EVERYONE

by missanonymous 4/8/2016

written by missanonymous

I know some of you might be into deep holes right now and some were at the point of their life when all they want to do is to break down and cry, or even die. Yes, I do understand because even I myself can’t do this anymore.. but I’m still trying as long as I can. That’s why I am here not to tell you that ‘everything is gonna be fine’,’get up and it will get better soon’ or ‘put yourself together don’t be weak’ because even I can’t believe that it’s all gonna be alright. I’m not going to tell you the words […]

4/8/2016 3 comments

AN OPEN LETTER FOR EVERYONE

by missanonymous 4/8/2016

written by missanonymous

4/8/2016 2 comments

by promisemethis 4/6/2016

written by promisemethis

Not really sure how this site works. I just stumbled over it while looking for websites to find a suicide partner. Don’t know if I’m allowed to do that on this site. But if not, this still seems like a good place and I could really use some people to talk to.

4/6/2016 4 comments

Tired of fighting myself

by dividebyzero 4/2/2016

written by dividebyzero

I don’t find life to be unbearably painful as much as I find it to be completely mentally exhausting. At least when I actually try. In order to accomplish much of anything I usually have to fight myself a lot. I’m always fighting either social phobia, or fear of change, or severe self-doubt, or hypersensitivity, or self-hatred. It’s like I’m dragging around a sixty-pound rock of depression and fear everywhere I go.

On my bad days, I often wonder how much longer I want to keep fighting myself. Another year? A few years? Ten years? And why should I keep fighting myself? Five or ten years ago I […]

4/2/2016 9 comments

How do I tell them

by brxken._.lxcks 4/1/2016

written by brxken._.lxcks

Now that summer is coming I’m going to have to start wearing short sleeves so at one point I’m either going to have to tell my parents or they will find out about the scars that I have made on my wrist. I want to tell them that I have been doing it to myself but I don’t know how to tell them, and when I do tell them they are going to tell my whole family. And if my whole family find out they are going to start asking me questions all the time, and watching everything I do. It will make me even […]

4/1/2016 3 comments

Straight Edge makes me sadder than you

by deadmanliving(hopefullyhopeful) 4/1/2016

written by deadmanliving(hopefullyhopeful)

I haven’t smoked weed in 6 months. Not for lack of trying since i moved i cant find a decent connect. Weed was an antidepressant that I no longer have access to. I dont drink so ive been begrudgingly sober far longer than id like. I dont want to be a blunt a day pot head. Just the occasional bowl to take the edge off. My outlook was mostly positive high. This isn’t to encourage weed use its not a cure all but got dam it helped. The only plus is i can pass a drug test which I’ll need to find a new job […]

4/1/2016 4 comments

Build up and explode

by Drowning 3/31/2016

written by Drowning

you know when you already know that your life is going to end prematurely not sure when but you know deep down it will happen sooner or later because life isn’t for you and you have no plans for life either and your drifting though each day and it’s getting harder and harder to bare and you sit there thinking why didn’t my first attempts work and since then your trying to find a more successful method but it’s hard to choose which way you would like to go out hoping u find the courage to go though with it

when I was a teen I […]

3/31/2016 8 comments

by Drowning 3/30/2016

written by Drowning

When dose the pain end drowning in thoughts going to sleep praying by some miracle you don’t wake up and waking up trying to find a good enough reason to live but you can find anyone iv just had enough what’s the point why am I fighting so much to live if I’m just live to die so unhappy what do u do when your life is a mess and all u think about is death how can u live this way

3/30/2016 7 comments

o.O

by claritee 3/29/2016

written by claritee

I just called my insurance company… but I had a strange connection with the operator that answered. He made me feel a million times better. We were laughing and joking for like 10 minutes and he was actually a bit unprofessional and he kept saying how unprofessional he was being. It was cute. It was nice. Is it weird that I almost wanted to tell him to call me? Is it desperate? Have I reached that point where I’m desperate? lol. I’m not going to be modest, it’s not as if I can’t find a man if I want it, but it’s hard to find someone with my […]

3/29/2016 2 comments

Tainted Spaces

by fitzgerald 3/29/2016

written by fitzgerald

I don’t think I could do it in someone else’s house. Is that too cruel? To change the way they see it forever? Not like they would be the ones to find me, but still. Though it’s the perfect opportunity.

3/29/2016 6 comments

I’m Numb

by blink_fighter 3/29/2016

written by blink_fighter

Someone told me they hoped I died. I shrugged. I think if someone told me “I hope you never find love” or “I hope you never find happiness” rather than “I hope you die” is probably the only thing that could really break me; because a life without happiness, love, and fulfillment is a pitiful life.

Besides, we’re all going to die anyway.

3/29/2016 1 comment

I try

by Drowning 3/29/2016

written by Drowning

i try to help other people though their struggles because I have no idea how to help /save myself helping other takes away my pain for short time and is a distraction I like all you guys your strength give me strength when I’m in the darkness fighting the demons

“were in the same game just different levels same hell just different demons ”

would be nice to get to know everyone we all try to support each other though the struggle and you guys have supported me in my dark hours

im not saying we will beat this I’m not saying things will or won’t get better […]

3/29/2016 23 comments

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