I’m not one to think of suicide when something bad happens in my life, but everyone at my school has drove me to that thought. I’ve always been bullied and been last or never picked cause of what people would say about me and how I’d be treated like someone’s little *****.. but it’s was always my nature to fucking forgive them and shit. I started to contemplate of ways to do suicide and actually think of myself never being there in people’s lives anymore and who’d about who would attend my funeral, but that was what drove me to not doing it ,because I […]
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forgive
I just want my life back. I lost it years ago and I miss it. I just want Amber to forgive me but she never will. My family is pretty much gone because most are just too selfish to even talk to anyone. They do nothing but fight and ***** about how shitty their lives are, but they don’t know how bad it can really be. I mean, they could be like me. Some are, but they are fighting it. They have the very willpower and persistence that I just can’t find anymore. I don’t deserve forgiveness or happiness and I can recognize it.
Dear past
How long will your torment last
Everytime we meet there is such a storm, its destroys everything I just earned
–
I love you past
You are all I have ever had
You were my light
I forgive you… Please forgive me
Its for the best
I now put our relationship to rest
**********************************
lately I’ve been completely hopeless, alone, and depressed. I feel sorry for everyone in my life, having to deal with me, I’m so pathetic. I cut myself this whole school year and recently my parents found out, they haven’t looked at me the same, i hate feeling pity from others based on the choices i made, I’m such a *****, i don’t deserve the kindness. I’ll never forgive myself on the choices i’ve made, i’m done, done with the self pity, the apologies, the secrets, and most of all I’m done with myself, i can’t even look at myself in he mirror anymore, I’m ugly […]
I’m sorry, You got such a fucked up child. You got someone that doesn’t care as much as you do. I’m sorry that I yell, and I roll my eyes, and that I can’t wait to leave.
I was awake this morning. I heard you pray for me before leaving at 4 am for work. I realized you did this every morning.
I’m sorry that I don’t get the best grades. I’m sorry that I’m not the prettiest or the fittest.
I’m sorry that I don’t appreciate this life. You try so hard to provide for me and I just ruin everything.
I’m sorry that you have to stay […]
So there is one hand washing the other , high using low or low protecting corrupted . It doesn’t matter to me anymore, I cannot father a child because of the danger of mental illness and unequal treatment that could happen to a child of mine. I continue to be a victim everyday , and they are relentless in the torment. Bullied and intimidated into isolation . There was a chance 3 years ago when I sent my human rights complaint to make this right, but they went left. It’s TO LATE now , this can not be forgiven , remedied , made up for […]
I am sorry for literally everything upsetting I have done in my life. I keep screwing everything up for everyone, and I’m sorry. I won’t let people help me, and I’m sorry. If this letter of self-pity is terribly written, I’m sorry.
I always say I’m sorry about everything, and I don’t think anyone believes me. I promise that I truly am. So, if someone who knows me for the worthless mass of pity that I am, I’m sorry.
I’m probably gonna screw myself over tonight, and with any luck, I won’t wake up in the morning. I […]
I know I fucked up my last chance with her… Why she added me in the first place, both of us have no idea. Show me the question mark already instead of tormenting me with false hope! Does she really think I LIKE hurting people!? That I’m one of those psychopaths that get a kick from hurting others! Tch, if that’s the case, someone please explain to me why I feel like shit whenever I hurt someone, why I feel remorseful that I can’t feel empathy for others, why I know I will never forgive myself for throwing away the best thing to ever happen […]
God I was hoping I wouldn’t have to get this out, but it occupies my thoughts every single day so I have to do something about it. I suffer from social anxiety, which helps me on making friends (ha sarcasm) but I really want to meet new people, and I try SO hard.When I do try to strike up a conversation people just look at me weird and laugh! I’m even nice to people but they treat me like I’m garbage, or a mat to walk all over on.Why even try! I have a few friends, but they don’t know me. They don’t know what […]
*is watching Jacksepticeye and Markiplier streaming videos then somehow finds ex streaming on twitch* Fml… If a big-breasted Asian gamer girl couldn’t snap me out of my depression… I guess there is no hope for salvation and I don’t think she’ll forgive me if I blame my “whininess” on clearly psychotic episodes…
So, besides ending it, does anyone have any ways to beat depression when you’re too apathetic to even eat?
I don’ feel any more butterflies in my stomach when I think of him anymore, all I really feel is pain and that makes me sad. This used to make my world, he brightened it and made it so beautiful. Now, it feels gray and dank and disgusting. Now, when I think about him, I wonder if he even loves me at all, and if he doesn’t then when did he stop. I wonder if it was easy for him to replace me and I pray to the Universe that it isn’t, that if he truly loved me then he won’t be able to -selfish, […]
I don’t know how to go on anymore. I don’t know who I am without the context of someone else. When I’m alone, I hate myself. I don’t want to live feeling this way. I don’t want to be an angry person and I don’t want to hurt other people. It’s the reason why I want to die and the reason why I live. I hate the contradiction. I’m constantly hoping, dreaming that the choice will be taken out of my hands (e.g. hit by a semi, shot in a drive-by, mugged and killed in the street, etc.) because I don’t know what to do.
I’m […]
I’m so sorry for being a terrible person.
I will never be a doctor.
I would make an awful husband and father.
I regent putting everyone though hell.
Thank you Mom for always being there for me, please forgive me.
I’m sorry Katie for all the harassment I inflicted upon you and your friends.
I’m a coward for doing this.
I deserve nothing more then to be Satin’s *****
God let my condemnation provide justice for all my victims
Why am I so honest with my psychiatrist?
I tell the truth most of the time. They ask about suicidality, and I tell the truth. I don’t want to be here anymore.
They ask about homicidal thoughts, I say yes. Forgive me but there are people I so want to kill… Slowly. Painfully. Enjoy hearing them scream in agony. Enjoy watching them suffer. I want to look deep into their eyes as the light fades from them and they suck in their last breath. I hate them that much.
I always have a smile on my face. I’m like Ted Bundy. The charming psychopath. I told the doctor […]
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
As I try to remember the sound of your voice
I can’t help but wonder if we made the right choice
To let go the special bond that we used to have
To say goodbye to times that made us laugh
Now I sit here alone with guilt and regret
Tortured by the past that I cannot forget
Tormented by overwhelming misery
While Looking back at my decisions bitterly
I know we decided to go apart
But doing so shattered my heart
I have been trying to put it back together
But the important pieces are lost forever
Our lives will now never be the same
All this I have myself to blame
Unable to hold on what matters […]
At this point I’m trying to find a way of telling my mum I want to leave I can’t take it no more I guess I found the love of my life and I sabotaged the relationship by cheating on her I didn’t want my kids to come from a broken home now they have iv become everything I feared why do men cheat ? Why do we get tempted so easily? just the thought of her loving someone else is killing me let alone another person raising my kids the emotional pain is far worst then the psychical pain love really dose hurt I’m […]
Okay, so maybe this is a bit unfair of me to ask at this moment in time…..as I haven’t never posted till tonight. BUT:
Have any of you ever really felt numb? I thought I had and I had to some rearguards….however tonight and as of this week, I realize something more.
And pls forgive me ahead of time, I have been drinking, but this is something I have found this past week…and I am sitting here…still waiting for my CHURRO!!! As if anyone can hear me, while the band is playing loud and I have turned down several offers of dances….I should probably take someone up […]
My stepfather raped me when i was 9 and kept doing it until i was 11. he said if i ever told anyone any of this he’d kill me, my mother and brothers. Mom was never home, she was always working and didn’t even care about us. Why did i give a crap what happened to her or even my brothers? i don’t know. Mom has never loved me, shes told me before I’m the worst mistake she could ever make and i believe i am. When she found out what was going on she blamed it on me and said i was “trying to […]
I was feeling good until a few minuts ago. My brother made a coment about how im no better then the trash im laying in. I still know they dont love me and they will never love me or forgive me. They think yhey have me fooled but i still know, i always figure it out eventually. They think i dont think about them. I guess saying to myself that it would be easier for them when im not around counts as not thinking about them. I know its true. I always have to think about them know that they will never care about me […]
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