day after day, i wish i could be dead. I wish I could just disappear. Everytime I walk, move, talk you name it. I know everybody else hates me. So I’m just realising more and more that I really don’t have a reason to ‘ve Alive. I tried to wait it out. But I just can’t anymore. It won’t get better. It’s the same shit everyday. Go to school. Pretend. Be ignored. Home. Everyday Mon – Fri. I’m realising that no one even cares, and the progression why I am still here is because I’m too fucking scared to end it. My stress levels have […]
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get better
… Numb.
Just got news that a guy we attended university with passed away. Car accident. It’s weird. He just qualified. Only started working on the 4th of Jan. Hasn’t even received his first paycheck yet. Now he’s dead.
Another guy died in a car accident last year. He was in his final year as well. There were 5 of them in the car and only he died, the others survived.
I don’t really know how to feel. I’m just numb. It’s sad really. People who really deserve to be around are dying. Just when his life was about to get better. The 6 year struggle at Medical […]
maybe its just me and these strange feelings. I have no idea what it is nor how it started, began, developed and spread faster than a wildfire in the chamber of my heart.
you know that frustrating feeling when the person you care most about is in pain and all the loving, all the caring you poured into will never be able to take the pain away. shes my best friend but maybe shes more than just that, she sees me as any other friends she has but to me, shes a genuinely nice individual whom i cant bear to see in pain.
and all […]
I cant shake this feeling of patheticness that lives within in me, its like a cancer that has grown to occupy and associate itself with so much of my thoughts. I cant look at something simple and not have it trigger these self defeating and narcissistic thoughts.
Everything feeds it and makes it grow, stronger and stronger. It has gotten to the point where it effects everything I do, every conversation I have, every task that I have to go through to live my life.
Is someone had a disease that the doctor could see in a scanner and see that it has spread so much, they […]
hi my name is Santos and this is going to be about my suicide attempts .
My first suicide attempt was August 3rd I rememberthat threw that time I was going threw major depression I would always cut myself and I would always hear how my parents thought I was worthless and my dad just that day slapped me and I got really sad and went online and read threw my ask. Fm comments and most of them were really bad some would say u have now friends u dumb fuck or others would say u look like a pig so I […]
I’m sick of feeling this way. I’m drained. I’m physically drained. Tired. I’m sick of being trapped. I’m sick of being stuck like this.
I have been wanting to die more than anything in the past few days. I know I can’t. I know I shouldn’t. But I want to. I want to so bad. I want to die. I really, really want to die. I’ve never wanted to die so much in my life.
My head is heavy. Even my body is a huge weight. I still can’t get out of bed.
I’ve been cutting like crazy. I’m running out of room on my left thigh. I […]
I have always fallen in love with everything. When I was a little girl it was great. I was happy all the time. Life was full of magic and beauty and I was lucky enough to get to be part of it all.
But now I am grown up, now I understand things that I didn’t when I was young. I feel like I see everything. I still see all the beauty and wonder and hope, yet I also see the pain and misery and destruction. I see it everywhere. I see lost youth, lost health, lost happiness. I see people and animals who feel trapped, […]
would it be so bad if I committed to an attempt? I feel so shit all the time and it’s stuff that has been present all my life, it’s something that I know isn’t going to improve to normal levels. For example I’ve always been cynical, now I’m super cynical but I don’t see myself becoming someone who just isn’t cynical. Oh sure it can get better but it will always be there and it’s going to eventually cause me to fall down again
So would it be bad if I just make an attempt?
And what if it’s someone that I know has a high success […]
I know pills are the least effective method, more likely to leave me brain damaged. I really don’t want to risk that- I don’t have enough klonopin to lethally overdose, but if I mixed it with other meds it might be enough. But there’s still the risk of surviving- maybe taking trazodone with it will make it lethal, but maybe not. I’m not too concerned about the pain of it, as long as it kills me- I probably deserve the pain.
I know losing me will be devastating to my family, to the few friends I have. But that isn’t enough for me to want to […]
hey so I found SP while I was researching on pills overdosage and ever since the past few months been lurking on this page, reading many posts and decided to make an account today.
Its another year and most of the people I see are anticipating what the new year brings but im dreading it. Really, really badly. School is starting which is bad because I have to deal alot with being lonely and left out and anxiety issues which sucks alot. I know there are way graver problems out there, people starving in Africa, beggars on the street. And here am I, letting my […]
Wow. Seems like I’ll be spending New Years Eve on my own after a huge fight with my mom. A moment ago I wished that I would just fall asleep in a minute and never wake up anymore, and I still sort of do. I don’t want 2016. Everyone is telling me to be happy because 2016 is starting. It is just a year like normal. And I don’t believe that it will get better. Shit is still going on. In the last few weeks more shit has been going on than in the rest of 2015 and that shit is not going to stop. […]
Everyday is the same. I can’t sleep, I sit in bed trying to remember why I even do this anymore. When I get up I’m in pain and I shut myself in this little prison I’ve made of my room. I’m truly alone, I don’t exist to anyone.
When no one is home sometimes I’ll stare out my front windows and wonder what it’s like being those people that walk around with friends without having to worry about panic attacks or breakdowns. I’ve tried an extensive amount of medications and none of them help, they usually give me bad side effects too.
I can’t afford a therapist […]
so my ex and I were together for a year, we did drugs all the time and I ended up in a psychosis with so many delusions that I broke up with her thinking I was being followed among many other things. I’ve wasted a lto of money, I have a shitty atar and I constantly feel like I’m fighting my own mind, each day is a tremendous struggle. it’s my brithday in 3 days and I’ll be turning 19. my ex has cut me out of her life completely, calls me a stalker and talks bad about me. My current girlfriend does not make […]
Just curious- how many of you guys have hope that your life will be better and that you’ll be happy / find happiness at some point in your life? And how many people believe that they’ll be depressed forever or that their life isn’t likely to get better?
Also, if you could include your age, or approximately how old you are (like 20’s, 30’s, 40’s, 50’s, 65+, under 21, teenager, tween, etc).
Just wondering what the state of mind is of the people on here. And if age matters on outlook. Thanks.
Yes, I feel like shit and I should be allowed to feel like shit.
So, on Christmas day, I went out to eat with the guy that I like at a Chinese buffet. He’s getting his life together pretty well, he’s gotten a car from a friend and had a job off the record. He had to go afterwards though because he is popular and has tons of people in his life. I saw something on his page from the person he’s renting from, which is a girl who likes him (and is dating someone else but here in Chicago everyone has a dozen boyfriends or […]
I’ve spent a year and a half helping my gf through her depression/anxiety/cutting/suicide thoughts, and I am supposed to start my master’s classes in March but somehow, my parents went from paying $50-60k a year to f-ing $150k!!! Like I get adding another person to the food bill makes it go up but adding my gf to food bill with my brother living off of his school loans, should not cost that fucking much. Like i’m glad i didn’t go to Hawaii or New York. I stayed and worked, but the company was nothing but sales and didn’t know consulting from their own assholes . […]
Hello all, it’s been years since I last visited this site, under a different Alias. I wanted to share my experiences, maybe to give hope, maybe just to get things off my chest. I’m a male, mid 20’s. I was emotionally and physically abused, and I lost several friends (and a loved one) to suicide, and I myself attempted thrice. I was shattered, broken, and in a dark place. I felt unloved, unnecessary, and evil. I used to cut, and still get the urges whenever an episode strikes. I just wanted to say there’s hope.
I know it’s hard to believe, and nothing I can say […]
The Christmas depression is here. But it is worse this time. Much worse. My daughter at least until last year was still interested in getting a tree put up and putting together some kind of meal on Christmas day. But not this year. We don’t really “celebrate” the holidays much anyway but this year I feel like I have become such a burden for everyone that they just don’t want to deal with things. I don’t ask much of the two of my kids that live with me – I don’t go out really anymore but we share the basic expenses. My son takes care […]
I pulled the emergency break on my downward slide. I decided that putting up a decent fight is the least I owe my sons. If things don’t get better, suicide is always there as an option later. So I saw a doctor this morning, and she straight away organised admission to a psychiatric facility for me – and that’s where I’m now. Just unpacked my bag. I am lucky that I have private health insurance, and can use the private mental health system, and as a voluntary patient I’m not locked up. Still, I’m numb and exhausted and just relieved that I will have a […]
I watch everyone’s days go on around me. I feel like in stuck in time. Depression has slowed me.
I feel even when I sleep for hours, I do not feel rejuvenated. I don’t feel good.
Even when I have the least bit of confidence, it soon diminishes after a few seconds.
I feel content for moments at a time. Yesterday I felt the warm sun . I was happy. But that feeling soon disappeared.
I think it’s hard to get better. Nothing seems to have a point. I don’t feel like there’s any reason to be alive. I don’t think my life has meaning at all.
I wish […]