Hey all hope all is well im mad at.myself i woke up late n had a docs app i needed it but i slept in so goin to rescedual im scared of takin new meds n hope i dont get more depressed or more anxity i worrie to much ugh so iv been keepin busy like watching shows chicago fire now on to.chicgo pd i love these shows any good shows out there? Hope all of you are doing good n always remember to.do something fun or watch a funny movie or get in to a really good show
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I woke up this morning seeing the bright light from the sun.It was 11:11 am,I must’ve drink too much alcohol last night that I feel a lil’bit tipsy this morning.I was talking to a friend in which I have lied about something,still,she can’t decide if she’s going to stay or not I think I deserve it anyway.I lied to people who cared and accepted me.Im a bullshit.She might stay or not,nothing will change I’m still going to be free on Feb 1,in the arms of death I’ll find comfort.
Where is the sunshine?
The end of the pain?
Because I am damaged,
I can’t stand in the rain.
The skies have been dark.
The wind is still whipping.
How am I standing?
What keeps me from tipping?
Because i am damaged,
My limbs tatered and broken,
The life that lived in me
Is now slowly chokin (g).
The storm pushes on with violence and fury.
My leaves are all falling,
Like the snow in a flurry.
No where to turn,
No where to go.
Im beat up, run down, and standing alone.
Even in this forrest that i call my home.
Ive always been told “You’re full of potential”.
My grandmother just calld me and was talking to me about getting a bunch of stuff for me. Im sure for a lot of people its easy to just say ok and take it, but there has to be other people here who feel differently. Not just because of pride but also because its like dealing with a double eged sword. If you dont take it your pretty much offending the person whos trying to help you, but if you do take it then your a pathetic charity case who just acts this way to get what they want out of people. I know im […]
So, im new here. Ive had manic depression since i was a child. But in the last few months ive been on a terrible low. I was thrown out of my house, due to an argument with a roomate that escalated to blows, they had a kid, they got to stay. So now im living in my parents basment, i lost my job when i lost my place. Realy the only thing keeping me sane at the moment are the chemicle kisses (drugs) and my childhood friend… But now he is trying to get clean… And i support his decision, drugs are bad…. Mkay? But […]
Im done with this. i cant take it, this is more than what i can take, ive been depressed too long, ive been pretending that im happy too long, ive been hating myself too long, im horrible in every way, in every way, im fat af, im ugly af, im useless af, worthless af, i have no hope on me, i lost my mind already, and no one notice, to be honest, no one cares, and honesly i dont care either… Im just waiting for death.
I dont know if its depression or or normal teenage bullshit, but i just dont give a fuck about anything anymore. I used to have good grades now theyre slipping and i have exmas coming up but zero motivation to study. All ive been doing is being usless by sleeping, crying, eating too much, and cutting. My parents are also sick of me. They expect me to be happy all the time and dont know why i never am. They were having a one-sided arguement with me today and told me that theyre ashamed of me and that they should just poison my sister and […]
It just hit me why im here … I just want to be able to talk to people who can relate and not just be ignored .. Ive been thinking a lot lately of doing self harm but i never get enough guts to do it … I dont know if im depressed but i feel like i am… Its so hard to live a life where everyone you care about ignores you or simply breaks your heart .. I really want to talk to people and for once not be ignored?
what is life? A time voyage that only consists of people being alone, of people being forgotten, broken, left? I feel so alone and like theres no one there for me… I feel broken. Am i broken? Why does everyone leave my sight, my life ? Its like i put all this time into people and im the nicest person to everyone when they need something but right when you are broken they leave and tell you all these crazy shit. Do any of you guys just wonder what this life would be without you like if it would be better or not? Cause i […]
I’m not mean, but I’m truthful.
I’m not crazy, I’m just unconventional.
I’m not alive, although I’m not dead.
I’m not depressed, however I am in pain.
I’m in pain because I’m conflicted. Why? Because I love dragging the sharp blade across my skin. The way it stings, the way my blood drips, the way it makes me feel.
Every once and a while, my cravings increase to a point of concern. It’s not longer just hurting myself by the pocket knife I keep by my bedside, it’s wondering what it would feel like to crash my car into a tree. What it would feel like to fall off of […]
I was feeling good until a few minuts ago. My brother made a coment about how im no better then the trash im laying in. I still know they dont love me and they will never love me or forgive me. They think yhey have me fooled but i still know, i always figure it out eventually. They think i dont think about them. I guess saying to myself that it would be easier for them when im not around counts as not thinking about them. I know its true. I always have to think about them know that they will never care about me […]
In this moment i wish i could die. So all the pain and memories of pain could disappear. So id never feel all the anger and hatred and my needless existence could disappear. Im sick of seeing triggers everywhere. Im sick of society at large. Im sick of having little self worth. Im sick of being different. Honestly im only still here because i failed at suicide hundreds of times. Im alone and uneccesary. But that said im not going to attempt. Im going to get up and go to the gym and continue to do the best i can do. There is a part […]
They say it gets better and I want to believe that. I have fought with depression for so many years I hardly remember before I had it anymore. Yes there are times when I dont feel like blowing my head off. But time after time the feeling comes back. It seems to be my brains “go to” thought whenever Im even the slightest bit upset. I have tried depression medication…. Many kinds…. But they dont seem to do anything for me but make me a tired zombie. I stopped trying to find one that works about 8 years ago.
My husband cant grasp why I feel […]
Im not going to give up on you. Im hurt i feel abandoned but i still love you. I don’t want you to be alone. I don’t want you to cut off your support. Im going to give you and anyone else some veteran advice. Dont assume death when planning suicide. People survive gunshots and trips off the golden gate bridge. Rare but true. No method is 100 percent. To destroy things in order to make it easier on your suicide only makes your life worse in the high likelihood of you living. I say that to say this. You’re already alive longer […]
Im 22 years .Ive been with a girl for 3 years i gave her my all. I fucked up talked to someone . I never cheated just talked. She left me a month ago. she left school and left me with all the and the 2 cats. Today i lost my job. So i cant pay rent. Im behind 2 months on cable and dte. I cant do it anymore Im not strong enough anymore. Im miserable. I tried to OD on tylenol. That didnt work. Im depressed. Ive never n so I my life. Ive slit my wrist, is my first time it it […]
Counting the days till im gone made a post about family and how they play a hand in self harm and suicide. Dont know if this person is a guy or a girl but there right. Im in a simaler situation, but its probably not as bad. They are deffanatly fake and the deffanatly lie. I have done things to make them angry i cant lie about that but they where ready to disown me over something i posted online. Then my mom told everyone to mess with my head that was the worst. The truth is they hated me before any of this happend, […]
Despite working out and eating better im fatter. I got off of work early but im tired and sore. I cant turn on the tv without seeing shit about sex and relationships. I get it im too ugly to find anyone in real life i know. I fucking feel guilted by life to contacting my ex(met online) because i do worry about her and i know I’ll never get someone better. As proof of that someone else who ive met(also online) in the many months since we stopped talking and who i care about but who fucking abandoned and rejected me is in trouble. Idk […]
Im not good at it. Just strumming and listening to the cords I strike coming through my orange amp. Thats it, im rockin a sad face and glum attitude. I wanted ask Sunflower for a woman’s perspective.. But I got caught up in my guitar, my humbug, and nothingness. Like.. Where did my good slightly scratching the surface attitude go?. It went right into my thoughts
I dont think im any different than anyone else on here. My story is the same. Im a 16 year old girl trying to be happy and failing miserably. I have been battling anxiety and depression for over a year now, and it hasn’t gotten better. I dont think it will. Its bullshit when they say it gets better. Because it doesn’t. The day before my 16th birthday December 9th of this year, I tried to kill myself before school. There was nothing left for me in this world, and no one cared from me anymore. I was lonely and dead without really being dead.A […]