Tag:

in my head

f-ing luv…

by claritee 3/11/2016

written by claritee

I was depressed before I fell in love. I have to remind myself of that so I don’t think that I am even more crazy to want to kill myself because I lost the person that I love. I. was. depressed. before. I. fell. in. love. I had suicidal thoughts before I met him. I have been anxious and depressed for a very long time. Probably since childhood.

It’s not like I’ve never been in love before. But this time, I thought he was last one I would ever have. We match. He understands me. But I didn’t give him what he wanted. […]

3/11/2016 1 comment

Night thoughts

by Drowning 3/9/2016

written by Drowning

I do wonder were il be in the next 5 to 10 years or what il be doing and then on the other hand I wonder if il make it that far shit my life has fell apart and still not to sure why I’m hanging around for ? Isit that question WHAT IF ? Yeah maybe or do we just fear the unknown what good can come from emotional pain apart from self harming and suffering and heart break ? I look at my scars and think why didnt I push more deeper and just bleed out months ago or swollow a bunch of […]

3/9/2016 3 comments

Here we go again

by tired123 3/8/2016

written by tired123

I have just about had enough of this. I am so tired of feeling like I want to take my own life, telling myself that it will pass, feeling a little better, just to be slammed with the same damn feeling all over again. There are times when I realize that maybe I dont really want to die that I just want these feelings and emotions to stop. But its been going on for so long now I really dont think it will ever happen. Im so sick of feeling this way and maybe the only way out is to finally just do it.
Ugh, […]

3/8/2016 2 comments

I can’t think of a title, so let’s just pretend it was brilliant.

by Cordless 3/8/2016

written by Cordless

I go into the hospital tomorrow morning for some tests.

One of them is a dexamethasone suppression test to see if I have Cushing’s Disease, the other is to see if I still have Osteomalacia. (Not osteoporosis but osteomalacia).

I’ll find out the results next week, plus I’m hoping they’ll start investigating the tumor in my head which showed up on the x-ray about 2 years ago. (Yeah, they’re taking their time with that for some reason).

If the worst-case scenario happens with the tumor, I may not even have to worry about suicide after all.. my body will self-destruct all on its own.

Still can’t decide whether that […]

3/8/2016 62 comments

Ok the 20 hours wernt bad

by kupo95 3/8/2016

written by kupo95

So sunday after church. I had a nervous breack down .why a nervous break down well ill tell you.

A family freind tells me wonderful thing she spoke to my mom and mom book a trip for my bros and wifes to Europe great beautiful.

But my brother’s wife is still not home. I blame myself for there separation. And the trip made me feel wores because the last time we left the states it was so my older brother won’t get his es wife back.

So in my head this is a repeate of blame. My mom blames me for my older brother marriage. But whatever he […]

3/8/2016 0 comment

Roundabout

by DaylightFades 3/7/2016

written by DaylightFades

I run my Cross across my skin;
seams come undone and seep out sin.
Sew it shut with fragile thread
Be still, the movement in my head.

I spin and spin: a roundabout
Balance? I will live without
a sense of where I stand and why,
I’ve tip-toed, crawled, and ran: I tried

I latched on: a lowly parasite
I found my host; feasted on life
I’ve had my fill, so I detach,
detach from life, to death I latch

3/7/2016 1 comment

Name

by Costy 3/3/2016

written by Costy

My name is Costy. And I am shit. Do you know what shit is? It is Costy. Costy just dosen’t understand life.It is a miracle? or just an accident? Whatever it is , it dosen’t have any application in our daily lives…I guess that the major cause for my downfall was nihilism, even if I would have everything in the world..we are going to die anyway. What is there for us? Nothing or maybe “something”. I don’t want to get old..

I have so many fucking toughts in my head. Why do I exist? I just want peace.

3/3/2016 7 comments

Late night reflections.

by nias 3/1/2016

written by nias

I sit here with thoughts of suicide swirling around in my head.
I don’t know if there’s a purpose to my life; why was I born.
All my life I’ve wanted to be loved; no one has ever wanted me.
I feel such loneliness, so empty inside.
I wish I could cease to exist, I don’t want to live anymore.
I hate myself and wish I was dead.
🙁

3/1/2016 7 comments

Voices?

by addyaddy11 3/1/2016

written by addyaddy11

Every professional I have seen always ask if you hear voices and I’m not sure how to answer. What constitutes as a voice, I talk to my self in my head all day and sometimes I tell my self to do things I know are against everything I have been taught but yet I still do them. You go so long not doing drugs or drinking then one day you hit a new low and you end up buying the things you know will end up hurting you and others. They tell you not to leave your house even though you need to make money […]

3/1/2016 0 comment

Hey.

by itsme-cammy 3/1/2016

written by itsme-cammy

I’m not too bright. Maybe because I’m blonde. A complete understatement. For me, anyways. I’m clumsy. Not really that good looking either. To me, anyways. Most of all, bad luck seems to follow me everywhere. Definition of ‘accident prone.’ Some times it feels like the big guy in the sky has it out for me. But seeing as I’m still alive, he must not want me that much. Maybe he just likes to watch me suffer.

So far, I had to go to the mental hospital three times. All together I have 16 scars, and that’s only on my right arm. A […]

3/1/2016 0 comment

School.

by Lawli 2/29/2016

written by Lawli

2/29/2016 1 comment

Protected: Pain and triggers

by deadmanliving(hopefullyhopeful) 2/28/2016

written by deadmanliving(hopefullyhopeful)

There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.

2/28/2016 0 comment

Circular Headspace

by Nisus 2/27/2016

written by Nisus

I’m not sure I’ll ever get over my self-esteem issues, which is to be expected, I suppose. But in the midst of being undecided about whether to continue hanging on, and trying, or just peacing out (am err’ing on the side of ‘choose life’), I also don’t think it’s fair to subject anyone else to it.

I’m just so amazingly insecure sometimes. Some days, I feel okay, as if I can cope and function. And then I lapse again.

I can’t even watch porn or enjoy fapping, without thinking about the guy I like having sex with somebody else. It’s not that I see other people as […]

2/27/2016 0 comment

Why do I want to end a good life?

by Fire_Bad 2/27/2016

written by Fire_Bad

Four years have passed since I last logged on here. I am still around and I wonder if Trent and jmvsic are around as well.

When I was last on, I was disconsolately picking up pieces of my heart that had been roundly drop kicked by my ex. My self-loathing was at an all time high. I had failed at relationships. And then I was failing at getting over that failure.

Life had become a monotonous track in my head around such familiar territories as: “WhyDoIStillLoveYousville” and “IAmTheWorst Town”.

Exactly two months after that I formed a reluctant crush on an a friend of a friend. One that […]

2/27/2016 0 comment

wasting time…

by Alan Ominous 2/26/2016

written by Alan Ominous

2 common phrases echoing in my head today.

“Get busy living or get busy dying”

“Don’t put off till tomorrow what you can do today”

2/26/2016 7 comments

I wish…

by iwant2_die 2/26/2016

written by iwant2_die

Where? Where was God when the bastard my brothers call ‘dad’ was hurting me? Where was he when my brother’s hand was getting burned? When Mom was beating the shit out of me? When they took me from my brothers? When my best friend and Dad were dying? I don’t fucking know. I wish i did but I don’t. I wish I believed in him everyday. I wish Mom loved me. I wish I didn’t have these thoughts in my head. I wish so many things I can’t have. But most importantly… I wish i was dead, that i never existed. That Mom would have had […]

2/26/2016 4 comments

My head is all over…

by Soulless-one 2/24/2016

written by Soulless-one

I’ve been depressed for about 6 years now, I’ve tried medication, Alcohol, weed and more. Nothing works longer than 1 day before it comes back. I’ve planned my suicide many times, and I have always just delayed it, with the thought “What’s next?” in my mind.

Everyone I have ever met always dislikes me soon after, if not immediately after meeting me. I have felt so lonely for so long, and it’s killing me; I met this girl online, We’ve only been speaking about 2 weeks now, but I’ve always hoped she liked me. She lives in different country than me, but the hope was/is always there; […]

2/24/2016 4 comments

Every now and again i have a decent day or Shyness is nice but shyness can stop you from doing all the things in life you’d like to.

by deadmanliving(hopefullyhopeful) 2/22/2016

written by deadmanliving(hopefullyhopeful)

So I have severe social anxiety and have only had one ltr which was an ldr. Im trying to lose weight and do more stuff in order to possibly meet someone special. So at work in order to destigmatize talking to women i decided to say hi how are you or some variation to every girl i could at work. I work at a huge warehouse and we all have to move really fast. So i couldn’t keep any long convos going.(good im terrible at small talk) I didn’t have a panic attack the whole time and im proud of myself. Im going to continue […]

2/22/2016 3 comments

Hey folks, there’s a girl.

by thelost 2/21/2016

written by thelost

I know, I know, big fuckin’ surprise coming from me. Not like I’ve posted stuff about a few different girls a few billion times the past year or so. Honestly it’s getting stale isn’t it? ‘Course I spice it up with a bit of shitty writing chucked in there too, but mostly it’s girls, girls, girls. Where’s the depression, the suicide, the goddamn anxiety!? If I felt like being a smartass I’d say it’s all in my head, and that’d be true enough, but on the subject of me being slightly off topic of what this site has set out to do, it’s hidden in […]

2/21/2016 1 comment

Leaving Home

by YouAreStrong 2/20/2016

written by YouAreStrong

Was wondering if anyone one here has tried this before, kind of like running away I suppose.

I’ve had this idea now for a while and honestly I’m really wanting to go through with it.

I’m 17, failing college, deeply depressed, I have no idea what I’m doing with my life any more and some days it’s a miracle I am even here the next morning. For a while now I have had this idea in my head to pack my bag and leave a note to my family basically saying “Don’t look for me, I will find you when I’m ready.” After leaving home my plan […]

2/20/2016 8 comments

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