Okay. today sucked. Woke up getting yelled at for shit I didn’t do. Went to sleep with people doing stupid shit. Okay so you should fucking know that if you have a damn headache , NOT TO FUCKING SIT AND WATCH LOUD ASS VIDEOS WITH YOUR GODDAMN HEADPHONES ON WITH THE VOLUME UP TO 100. But NO god FUCKING forbid you do it anyways. Is it helping you? DO YOU FEEL ANY BETTER? SO HOW DOES IT MAKE YOU FEEL? HOW DOES IT MAKE YOU FUCKING FEEL TO SAY YOU LOVE ME THEN FUCKING IGNORE ME? DOES IT MAKE YOU FEEL GOOD? CAUSE IT MAKES ME FEEL LIKE […]
Tag:
kill me
So, I know I’m a terrible person to people I honestly hate, but as for the people who I try to be nice to and care for… WHY CAN’T YOU SPEND FIVE FUCKING MINUTES WITH ME. I really don’t understand how hard it is just to get off an Xbox, or take a few minutes after you get off work, or a simple moment when you get out of school just to talk to me or hang out with me. I mean…. I actually TRIED with you. Even after I gave up on everyone else, I stuck with YOU. Not him or her, not the […]
Nothing that out of the usual I guess, but today I swear to god was the worst I’ve had in a long fuckin’ while. If you are a parent and think it’s okay to tell your kid who they can and cannot date and how to live their life, then fuck you. Apparently my mother thinks it’s okay to boss me around and bash my decisions in life. WELL FUCK THAT. FUCK HER. FUCK EVERYTHING. If I really wanna smoke, then I’ll fuckin’ smoke. If I wanna date him or her, then I’ll fuckin’ date him or her. YOU WILL NOT TELL ME HOW TO […]
I’ve been smoking cigarettes since I was in grade 7. Yep, that’s right, a 13 year old kid, smoking cigarettes. Now, I am in grade 9, and as much as I try to quit, I never can. I can’t get myself to not crave cigarettes anymore.
I always had thought that they would slowly kill me, but I guess they didn’t. They affect the way I do some things, like singing, or running – but they haven’t killed me yet.
Addiction is a hard thing to get over. Even now as I am writing this, my body is craving a cigarette. I know I need to […]
I cheated on my fiancé with a married man. The married man is the man who sold us our house and puts me to work as an artist.
My fiancé dumped me after finding out. Married man not fully committing and everything hurts. I could lose everything and I hate myself. Why the fuck do I ruin everything?!
I have slept with so many men I am too ashamed to count. Put my children through hell. I have no job. And no man wants me any more. I’m dangerous and exciting but not worth it.
Please something kill me because I need to be put out of my […]
Well, it’s not getting any easier. Everyday seems to be more and more challenging. I think I’m at the end of my rope. Everyone just keeps saying time with heal everything, and it’s becoming a very annoying phrase to hear. Everyday I question my existence. I’ve wrote my not last week while at work. I’m leaving it in my box for access when I’m gone. I want to scream out for help so bad, but I know I can’t. It seems like a act for attention to most people. I’ve really only told one person that I considering it. And once again, I get told […]
I went driving. Thinking “how fast do i need to drive into this tree to kill me and cash.” [cash is my dog by the way] What kept running through my head was my baby. I cant leave him but i don’t have the heart to kill him.
I shoulda drove off the road that night.
Its hard to fight depression man. Its like it creeps up and takes over. And im doin what im supposed to but when im alone, my mind wonders. I get sad. I have thoughts. I hate bein alone.
I got my whole world wrapped up in a dog. When […]
I’m sitting on my bed staring at six ibuprofen tablets knowing its not enough to kill me but still wanting to take them
at the same time I’m not sure I’ll be able to cope with a failed attempt
Why is it so hard for ppl to love you the same way you love them?
written by alliwantislovenhappiness
I’m 33 and I have felt unloved my entire life. My family doesn’t think Im good enough. My dad called me a screw up a loser n that I’ll never amount to anything. And no man will ever love me. I have been in love with a man (my sons father) for 10 yrs. yes he cheats. Yes he’s living with his daughters mother but still is wanting to be with me. I am naive. I have never felt love like I have felt from him. I trust him I adore him I stood by him thru think n thin. He helped me become better. […]
I keep having dreams where she kills herself, and I wake up feeling as if the world had ended. The crushing weight and anxiety on my chest is too much to bear. Seeing her alive and well makes everything better and soon I forget the dreams but then they come again and I see her, then I wonder for how long all of this will last before the dreams come true, it would kill me. I dint want to even think about it but in trapped in this cycle now
My name is Aria. Throughout elementary school, I had a fairly normal childhood. The school bully threw basketballs at my head, called me a teachers pet, and it didn’t really bother me. However, though it shouldn’t have, what bothered me, even when I was in 5th grade, was what my “friends” thought. They used to laugh at me when I didn’t know all the popular songs, didn’t have the newest wii games, couldn’t name the movie they were quoting, and didn’t do my hair the same way they did. I was different, and I didn’t like it.
In 8th grade, the stakes got higher. Though […]
When you fall back into your old thoughts and ways. When you wish life could be better or that some how you can just go to sleep and not wake up. I’ve been feeling like complete and total crap the past few months. I’ll be honest my health has been on a steady decline and it sucks. It sucks having ovarian cysts that keep reoccurring more painful each time, have HPV and being at risk for cervical cancer some day especially now since I would have repeated and frequent abnormal cervical cells. Not just that But my joints constantly pop and I have the shingles […]
Yes, I have been addicted. Funny how the people who talk about addictions here don’t get many responses, but hey we bring it on ourselves right? Fuck the world and the judgements passed on addicts.
When I consider the prospect of overdose it makes me laugh. Essentially it’s the same thing as hanging yourself or shooting yourself (the end result being death), but because of the stigma around it, no one really wants to hear about the person who died of an overdose. No one really cares, but I don’t know why I even care to think about it. I mean, I do want to kill […]
I don’t know what the hell’s going on. I’m on Prozac, 20 mg/day. I don’t do alcohol or drugs or anything. I’m not even that depressed right now. But I’m seeing things…at first these things weren’t too scary, just a little annoying, like Gingy would steal my pencils and hide them. But now Gingy’s rabid. Whenever he shows up I lock myself in the bathroom. He can’t get in the bathroom because that’s where I was conceived.
What the hell am I supposed to do? He brought some of his friends, they’re outside…the doors are locked, my dad’s at work…it’s tough to even focus on school […]
I want a fing drink. Being sober is nice most of the time… The thought of booze is great, but really you turn into a blathering idiot.
What the hell do i di? Hes told me he did this to his ex wife. That he can break all my teeth out, and bail out the next day. I can take alot, but he covered my nose and mouth with me in a headlock, and than i REALLY understood, he could kill me. Its great for him, because no one would evwn look. I dont speak to my family, have no friends anymore. The only people […]
Waking up everyday feeling that you’re worthless, not knowing what to do with your life. I constantly think about the meaning of it all, yet I always come up with a blank. Living day after day without anything to hold on to. I have a couple of friends that I hang out with sometimes or go to events, but I don’t know how to make real connections, because I’m socially awkward. I keep telling myself “Just try to be friendly, do your best, you will improve, you will meet new people, everything will get better” But it doesn’t. It just gets worse and just thinking […]
How tragic can be life
Thinking and talking about suicide
Just in the edge of our sad eyes
A tear is falling down, tired of the frustrated tries
And how broke can be our aim
Living depressed of saving fates
Just one cut can be enough
To end this hell and delete this chains.
But we’re not the falling angels
And we don’t need to go to heaven
As we collapse we can stand up
And keep fighting for the crashing of a few cups.
Wanting a rainbow without a storm
Wanting feel full without crying alone
You can’t say the true before to say […]
I apologize now because this will be a long post. Doubt anyone will actually read it but I need to just find somewhere to put my feelings. I see a therapist two times a week. Every night I’m too scared to go to sleep because when I turn off the lights and try, that’s when the thoughts get the worst. “You’re a f***ing piece of shit please kill yourself.” “You’re burdening everyone, you’re gonna do them a favor by doing this to yourself.” Thoughts like that constantly. Those are more of the calm ones. Sometimes i hear almost like a voice screaming at me to […]
I’m out of beer, all I’ve got that might help me are a few norcos, but they fucking suck. I’m done, things have just been getting more and more stressful throughout the night, I swear I’m about to just fucking break down and cry. Why the fuck are people like this? it’s not like any of us asked to have the chemicals in our heads fucked up beyond belief. A car fucking drove by my apartment and I panicked and grabbed a knife because I knew the bastard was coming into my place to attack me. He just kept driving, I knew he would, but […]
Just one more day before I can stop worrying about school for a full week. I’m going to go visit some family, which is weird considering the fact that my relationships with them are….strained (for lack of a better word) at the best, and potentially homicidal at the worst. You may think I’m exaggerating, but my brother has attempted to kill me on several occasions. Pretty much the only reason I’m going is to visit my youngest sister, the only family member I have that I really consider family. Seeing everyone else is going to suck, though. I’m just trading the stress of school for […]