Carla, my aunt, and Philip my uncle, said that if I drank more thank a 12 pack of cooers light, I’d be banned from drinking here again. Well I took a taxi and for a 12 pack of cooers light PLUS a 2 24 ounces of natural ice (the heavy stuff). I still didn’t get the intoxication that I wanted but I got the best – in retrospect, I should have gone ahead and got a 12 pack of natural ice, since Carla never came down to check on me. Yes I’m an alcoholic but I gotta figure this stuff out myself. Carla, my aunt, […]
Can you find were the empty beer cans are? yesterday I was craving alcohol and couldn’t sleep because of it. Around 3 pm I took a shower, dressed real nice, got me a bag of water and told my aunt that I was going to take a walk. Knowing I’m an alcoholic, she didn’t bring up any questions to my surprise! I walked a mile to the store, even anxiety couldn’t stop me! I got 12 cans of bud light because they were out of the good […]
I just stumbled across the site two days ago. Decided to start posting today. I have to say it helps. Trying to help others feel better makes me feel better, for now. I guess it is why I have a degree in Psychology. That I don’t use anymore because of chronic illness. Oh well, none about that. I am going to try to go to sleep with thoughts of sunshine and light. lol Thank y’all.
My life is a collection of twisting, winding paths. Most are dark, lonely, stormy, fiery, and led me to anger, hatred, pain, sorrow, loneliness, and fear. But there was this one particular road, full of colorful roses on either side, and led me to warmth, light, hope, beauty, content, laughter, smile, love and happiness. To know that once upon a time, I walked down this path under the warmth of the pretty blue sky, danced under the rain, and prayed under the thousand stars of the summer sky. That once upon this path I ran with laughter across the green pastures, and as I dozed […]
Friday night I said goodbye to SP. after the recent stuff that went on, I lost patience on my suicide plan. I went upstairs, and then took a bunch of pills. The intention of the pills was not to kill me but to sedate me so I could suffocate myself. Didn’t work! So I went up and took more and than when I was heading back down stairs, my aunt cought me before I could use my Halloween bag. She said “come here let me look at […]
To Angela
Angela, this may be the last letter I write to you. I guess my time here is up. I’m sorry for everything… I didn’t mean to lie to you. This life is no fairy tale. This life is not a garden of sweet roses… rather, it is an fearful enigma of pain and sorrow. I thought that I could save you… give you happiness once and for all… but I am merely just a fantasy. I am fake. And though I have reached the crevice where I couldn’t reach out to you and pull you close to my chest again, but I need you […]
Locked in prison with no escape,
keeping track of long lost days.
Where will my weary soul reside,
when there is nothing left inside.
Who will wait my painful soul,
whose actions make me a fool.
Can I ever live with myself,
or in darknesss dwell.
Can the light of truth free me,
or all alone will i ever be.
The fate of my life is long gone,
for I have done to much wrong.
Last night I didn’t think I’d get to drink here again after last weeks shananagins. But after Donald Trunpesue debating skills, I convinced them to allow me to have only a 12 pack of cooers light. I usually get extra with it but conceded to there rules because drinking the light stuff is better than not drinking at all. Eh I wish I spent my time drunk better. I spent the last two hours debating with them once again on my right to die. I don’t even know why I waste my breath with them on this issue. They don’t believe that I have s […]
My mental health begun at the age of 8, kinda. That’s when I first recognised I was hearing thing’s that other people around me weren’t hearing, and I had the energy not even adults had. This begun to scare me, I didn’t know what to do with all the rapid thoughts racing around my mind and at 11 started to self harm, which I thought was the perfect way to deal with how I was feeling. It wasn’t, because still, at 21 I am self harming, to degrees where I require stitching and hospital treatment.
However, I’m 21 and I’m still here. I attempted suicide at […]
Anyone interested in hearing some wild stories add me on kik. I know i have a less than favorable presence here, but I am genuinely good guy, I have been painted in a bad light by people once banned in my chats. These were all decisions that i felt were imperative for the mental health and safety of the people involved in the ban.
anyway, my kik account:
anthrophile
Add me, and we will have a cool conversation. Even if all you want to do is vent a little. I will eventually get around to typing all of the stories, but between work and doing admin […]
I’m running because I finally see the light at the end of the tunnel
But when I reach the end of the tunnel it’s just another puzzle.
And that’s when I understand there’s only one way to end this struggle.
And the pain and the sorrows I can no longer juggle.
And now my body’s empty and lifeless I can no longer move a muscle.
And a 6 foot hole for me they are digging with a shovel.
And people are wondering why me I always met life with a chuckle.
Will I miss some people in this life, yeah maybe a couple.
Now I am different
They have changed me
But I still hold that
There are too many people
I cannot bear them
They torment me with their jokes
Still the evil of noises
Is the beating of their hearts
Stop! Don`t move
Stop! Don`t move
I cannot, cannot bear it
Stop! Stop beating
Don`t you see? I`m not too lucky
Still you pump blood and
You grow in number
Coming over me in flocks
I cannot bear you
I`m trying to get rid of you
In my dreams I hear
The thunderings of your heartbeats
Stop! Don`t move
Stop! Don`t move
I cannot, cannot bear […]
Not that I want to hurt anyone my choice isn’t to hurt the people most suicidal people have thoughts of hurting other people not me though….Maybe tomorrow will be different if you actually open your eyes and see how your living don’t have the same thoughts about the darkness an pain try to reach out of the darkness into the light suicide isn’t the way out its just a break from the least horrible things once you die you have nothing and cant be anything anymore because you wanted to get away….I know how it is to be afraid of your own mind I understand. To feel like […]
Just a few things on my mind and I may seem harsh but reading some of these comments are making me ill. Your all encouraging each other to take your life’s? Giving each other options for easy ways out? I have been in the exact same situation as many of you&it does get better. We don’t need to encourage each other to take the easy way out. We need to be sharing some fucking hope! So if I come across as harsh, it’s because I generally care.
First of all, I don’t give a shit what anyone says; There is no reason why you should take […]
I had the power of a dream
Change was mine to choose
Yet when the light pours in
The power I will lose
I know he had struggles though I know nothing more than what was posted over the past 15 or so days. I haven’t seen him post since his last message that said his time was drawing to an end that night after two unsuccessful attempts. He was lonely and without hope. I don’t know if he is around (though I hope he is) or not but regardless I still light a candle for him.
All my darkest fears rise into the light
Out from the cold place I left them deep down in my soul
I laugh I cry then soon i want to die
Forgetting what it’s like to live
Not knowing how to love life
Repeating this sad cycle
Breathing the same shitty air
Death would be living
This hell we call earth is rotting
I cry tears no longer
I cry blood like 1000 needles pierced my eyes
Caterpillars no longer turn into butterflies
While flowers no longer bloom
My screams become faint
Nobody hears me
Nobody cares
Because nobody’s there
I’m already dead
Just thought I’d share my story, I’m not gonna be overly dramatic or emotional as I am very logical and rational for the most part, I am going to go off in a million directions and you will almost certainly think me bonkers before the end. I’m not asking for help or empathy, in fact I hope that what I put down on this webpage helps shed some light on others problems and the problems society faces on a whole, sounds a bit haughty I know.
Diving right in, myself, my eldest brother and sister engaged in some somewhat sexual activities at the ages of […]
Leniency
It’s kind of hard to
At this, moment
What does the music, tell me
Oh, mercy
Go, go, follow
Truest light, yours
I’ve met, Mr. Mime
Or Jynx
Destiny
Far-away from
Whirlpool and tornado
What’s my name
Not this time
Polywag
.