I don’t know who I am any more. I don’t know where the little girl who always had an ice-cream cone in her hand went. I don’t know how somebody could possibly feel so isolated and empty inside. I don’t know how somebody can possibly hurt this bad. I don’t how I can smile and laugh all day and be hollow inside and then come home and cry my soul out. Nothing makes sense. I’m dying. I’m relapsing. I’m fading. Have you ever just sat at home with a cup of tea and sad music and slowly forgot how to feel? This is madness, this is […]
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Little Girl
To that little girl, smiling from ear to ear, with no worries on her mind and no demons in her head? Where’s the girl whose smile would light up a room, who laughed like there was no tomorrow, who would spend hours jumping in the rain, where’s the girl who enjoyed life?
What happened to me, what’s wrong with me? Now I am waiting to die, every second of every day just waiting. I’ve been waiting for 4 years now, when will it finally come to an end?
“When you grow up, your heart dies.”-The Breakfast Club.
It’s just before 12pm. Â I have only just woken up and I wake up today looking at life like it’s a curse. Â What is the point of living life? Â (Not in a suicidal state of mine). Â I lay here thinking to myself how hard it is to get out of bed to get to the shower or to get downstairs to eat breakfast. Â So I just lay here for longer. Â It is now 1pm. Â I have decided to get up and start going on with my day to day jobs. Â I was meant to go out today but I don’t want to leave the house. […]
I have had a really hard life. And I bet a lot of you people reading this have had one too. But not all.. This is my story…
Hi, I am a fourteen year old girl who has been humililated, tortured, and bullied my whole life. I don’t have friends. I am very anti-social. I am home schooled because of everything that has happened. I am only in 8th grade. And My life is a complete hell. I have been bullied for about 9 years now, since the day I moved here. I used to here people in the hall ways, and I was just a […]
My mother is still physically and mentally abusive. And she never use to be abusive at all but i dont really know what happened. My mom has said hurtful things to me like telling me im a fuck-up and im worthless and also that nobody likes a little girl with scars. Not to metion the physical abuse so bad that i wish she would just kill me right then, but anyways i just cant bring myself to hate her and i still care about her dearly and i even drained my bank account to help pay for her surgery and prescriptions. Is there something wrong […]
I wrote a poem about what bullying did to me, what kind of effect it had on me. How it felt for me. Like the part that they took away my childhood. This poem has a lot of meanings for me, it’s really special.
You stole my heart,
you stole my mind.
You stole my happiness,
you stole my love.
You took away everything I had,
and now I’m broken,
bruised and scarred.
You’re a thief,
you’re a criminal.
But you won’t hurt me again,
’cause I’ve got a thicker skin.
I’m stronger and braver.
But you stole the little girl inside of me…
Written […]
i remember when life was fun, it was exciting and adventurous. i remember as a little girl, sitting in class dreaming of growing up and travelling the world. i remember dreaming of the places i would go, and the things i would do. i remember dreaming of my career, and the love of my life. but now, i sit here in year 11. life seems to have gone so quickly, i walk through the hallways at school as a  nobody. invisible and unseen. bad thoughts running through my head, constantly. life seems to be a burden now, a task, something i must endure. yet no […]
I will spare you my sob story. Here’s what you need to know. I am 23, married and a stay at home mom to a 4 year old little girl. I have been depressed since I was a child. I have times where I am okay but I always end up feeling depressed more often than not. I first considered suicide around 13 years old but never really had intentions or means to do so. In my family mental disorders are not considered medical and I would be told to just get over it.
Now, present day I am more depressed than ever. I think […]
Please do not judge me on this letter, I am only curious as to what all this means.
Lately I have been feeling like SOMETHING bad had happened when I was a child or any other time but I cannot shake this feeling away.
I have a weird fascination with the whole sexual abuse, predator/little girl, etc. (Now, when I say fascination I do not mean I like it any way shape or form or wish it upon others because I think that is sick and anyone who believes its ok is messed up) but I find myself thinking about it and wanting to research it to […]
3 things to never do:
try lie to a teacher, getting you expelled.
ignore a guy who pours his heart out to you for over 2 years (only to fall for him when its too late)
or watch thirteen when your are a recovering self harm addict.
i came so close. i ran around the house looking for a pencil sharpener, unscrewed the blade andmy mind went blank. i dont know what happened. the next thing i knew, i was crying in the fetal position. i opened my hand and the blade was deep in the skin at the bottom of my thumb. i had squeezed my hand shut […]
I used to be this happy little girl who only saw good in the world, nothing could keep me down. Now its like the smallest thing makes me want to pop a bottle of pills… maybe its because it all builds up. My mother has said so much about my weight, along with others, that everytime its mentioned i want to go purge. When it comes to people i dont even know anymore. I dont want to be alone but sometimes i dont want to be around others because i know that half the time people wont be focusing on me. I dont see point […]
I’ve told you her story now I’ll tell you mine. I’m Angel and I’m 13, I’ve gone through so much though so don’t judge me on my age. I’ve been raped and beaten, I’ve been hated on and abused, both physically and mental, I’m suicidal and IÂ cut. I’ve gone through so much and I don’t understand why I’m here anymore. Why do I have to live on this earth full of haters? Anyway, when I was 10 I was put up for adoption and I was taken in by a family in Louisiana. They were okay, for the first week. They had 5 other kids […]
every time i try to be happy it always ends up in a disaster
i have always been bullied all my life ever since i was a little girl. i am 15 now and i am still being Put down by others because i dress different and my way of thinking is different than others. i can’t seem to fit in ….. i mean i don’t want to fit in its great to be different but the insults and rumors …. and THE lies are what hurt me. all i ever wanted, was for my life to be different and… for me to be happy. […]
Hi, I dont know who to talk to or who to open up to because my pain is my pain. And no one can ease that pain. I sit here and I think that the people that said they love me or care for me but where are they now. It’s true, I’m going to be alone and no one to cry to or tell me we are going to get through this together. W hy have these men come into my life and took that one thing I CHERISHED. Therevare times whereby I just want to find that one blade that will end my […]
My home situation have been very tough. As little girl I had every lie through at home. My mom has/had a relationship with an other man. My dad does everything at home cooking, laundry, bringing me and my 2 brothers to bed and school etc. My mom never does that and never gives us love. And my dad doesn’t too, he just does the standard stuff. She denies that she has a relationship with the other man. They are just friends she says. I just saw the man a couple months ago for the first time (never want to again). But people have seen them […]
Hot sweaty hands slowly moving from my knee.
Swallow down my unease because he promised to love me.
cling to the knife that makes the memories fade.
Old scars and new scars that are all the same.
Hand trailing higher now to my thigh.
The little girl who I once was is now so hard to find.
Burning dirty hands taking away my innocence.
I’ve never once felt whole again.
Trails of blood where his hands once were.
His burning flesh grasping and groping harder.
The blood runs down and mixes with my tears.
And I know that even after all these years,
His hands and any other mans hands are still my greatest fears.
It’s fine
I’m fine.
everything is fucking perfect.
no.
wait.
that’s a lie.
it isn’t.
and it won’t be.
“comon you idiot, smile. fake it! fake it!”
shut up coscience.
Look, pick your damn head up.
look in his eyes.
comon!
look!
jackie!
“I can’t…”
“he’s crying.”
“i’m dead…finally.”
he’s crying.
no, he’s laughing.
they all are.
they all are happy.
she’s dead, she’s dead, out her ankle she bled yay yay she’s dead.
they chant.
fucking cunts.
how am I seeing this.
my death.
holy fuck am I dead.
wake up.
wake up.
wake up.
wake up.
wake up.
shut up.
no.
I’m fine…
It’s okay…
I still remember the times when nothing is too complicated (except for math) or too morbid. But now, look at my life. I like heavy metal and the colour black. I write poems that revolve around the theme death. I just came out of depression. And I want it back.
To say the truth, I came from a ‘perfect’ family. My dad has a good job, my mum loves all three of us and we siblings get along with each other almost all of the time. I get somewhat alright grades, around A to B usually, and I am in the school track team. Our whole […]
So, here are the lyrics to my song, as promised. I call it “Something from the Nothing”
8 years old, she’s beautiful
Loving life and all its flaws
But she doesn’t understand the pain to come
And now it has begun
*Chorus*
Little girl, close your eyes
Don’t give into the lies
You are so beautiful
Can’t you see?
See everything you can be,
And everything you’ve become
You can still turn it all around
I know you’ll make it somehow;
Just hold onto something from the nothing in your heart
12 years old, nothing to live for
She’s given up on life
Wants to leave this world
I want to know why my mother chose to keep me alive when I was born? Why did she give me two fuckwit siblings when she only wanted me to start with? She only had my two brothers because they wanted to come to life before me. And now that we’re grown up, they’ve got their own lives, everything they could have, before me.
I hate my two brothers. I wish they were both dead, I hate my Mum and I hate my Dad. My two brothers are fucking cunts, from their conception. I have been a fucking stupid loser from my conception. I want to […]
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