Codeine, Bedhead, Bluetile Lounge and other slowcore bands, you all speak my mind so completely. As to escape, it’s impossible. So I wander through school and through life, dealing with it all with drugs, self-harm and music. My solaces are few and far, and do not consist of anything living.
Anti-social yet lonely.
That is me, the freak in the corner, screaming for release. Yearning to leave, but knowing it’s futile.
Tag:
living
If you’ve ever watched Rick and Morty there’s an episode about these Meeseeks which are kind of like a genie. they exist long enough to complete their task, and once they have completed it they just POOF! However, in this episode they are faced with a task to hard to complete meaning they are existing longer than normal and its very painful for them. they want to complete it as soon as possible so that they can “poof” and stop existing. Well I feel like a Meeseeks, I have existed too long and just want to vanish. living hurts, I don’t feel like I was […]
Is there ever a day that can go by without this desire? I have been this way for close to a quarter of a century….that I remember. I swallowed many sleeping pills in April of 1992. Oops, I’m still alive.
Suicide is selfish. It is crushing. People say it’s being weak. Well, that’s because life is too heavy and it’s too exhausting to carry it anymore. My burden is not your burden. Noone but myself can tell me whether I can stand it anymore or not. Noone but me can get myself up every morning and breathe.
So, people that I hear say things that dig at […]
I feel so tired. I have been suicidal ever since I can remember. However, in recent years I have been distracting myself from these thoughts by trying to convince myself that life is better than the alternative. I would always tell myself “I’m going to try living to the fullest today. I can always die tomorrow.” There are days when this works and there are days when it doesn’t. I feel tired because I have to continuously keep convincing myself that life is worth living. Its been almost two years since I started living this way and I’m still not fully convinced of it.
Why are we all feeling rubbish? Because the masses don’t consider ‘deep’ thinking issues, many around us don’t see the interconnectedness of us all, the importance of nature of a healthier way of living.
Why don’t we all work together to try to overcome some of these issues – we all have in common? Instead of feeling isolated and rubbish, can we not somehow become more empowered?
Several times throughout my daily routine I have thoughts of wanting to die. Life is nothing to me anymore.
Let me begin with a little bio. I’m a 57 yr. old male. I have several health issues, I have anger issues. Directed to any one certain person? Well maybe god, if there is such a thing.
I was brought up believing in god, going to church, living the godly lifestyle, accepting that the so called god is in control of everything and everybody. So who else do I blame for my crappy life, yes I’m using “nice” words. I curse god daily, telling him what […]
What’s the point in living if you can’t enjoy it?
Im new here, and already after reading some of these posts I feel like I have found my people . haha. I dont know where to begin. Isnt that ironic? Since I dont know how to end it either? Man, Im funny.
Im a lonely, cowardice, self loathing 22 year old mother and wife who lives in a repetitive world that she oh so badly wants out of. Im very exhausted from living a lie.. Living to make sure to not step on my husbands toes.. I long for connection. I wont get it from him. When he attepmts, which is rare, it is forced.. I […]
Does anyone else feel this way? I personally don’t want to live as absolute long as possible. I read about how some people live 100+ years, crediting their longevity to silly things such as “eating bacon everyday” or “eating a grapefruit daily” and so on. I’m glad to hear that these people are glad to be alive and further happy to hear that they’re content with going on living for as long as possible. And then there’s people who have searched for ‘the fountain of youth’, wanting eternal youth and never aging. Me? I definately don’t want to stay on this earth for as long […]
Somewhere, in some other time, i am living my nightmare;
Here and now, i am living my perfect life;
Here and in some other time, i am living my nightmare;
Somewhere and now, i am living my perfect life;
I am living my other self’s perfect life, while my other self is living a nightmare.
My other self is living my perfect life, while i am living my nightmare.
Connected only through dreams…
Through dreams….
I can taste what a perfect life would taste like
Through dreams……
I come to know of sorrows and losses which can make my life hell
Connected only by dreams…..
The end of my life is growing closer. I’ve always known I would take my own life one day. But that day always seemed far off. So it wasn’t a source of excessive worry. However, that is no longer the case. I have reached a state very near the point of emotional exhaustion. My life has been spiraling downward for over a decade. I’ve lost everything in my life. My little remaining money allowed me to keep things going and appearances up. And I’ve kept assuming/hoping my career would be revitalized. After being unemployed for 3 years now, my last vestiges of hope are gone. […]
With All of My Love………………….
Its better this way, it really is. I don’t think I will ever be able to explain how pain filled, lonely and useless I have been for so many years. Living is a complete hell for me.
No one I know would wish such pain on an animal they love and, would indeed, put the poor thing out of its misery. It would be selfish to compel it to go on living. If any of you ever have to experience this deep misery, you may, at last understand it takes courage to go against the natural inclination to live and thrive. The […]
im living on borrowed time here because i cant find the courage inside of me to commit suicide, and its tearing me apart. i want everyone to forget that i exist. i wish i could live in the shadows so that if i died, no one would notice and i wouldnt hurt anyone. i havent attempted anything but im scared that ill fail and ill have to live with everyone knowing my secret. my depression is my secret and ive been living with it for three years. it started when i was fourteen and i felt the depression grow with me. as i got older […]
my life has no hope. I plan on commuting suicide very soon. I am going to take all of my 30 200 mg seriquil and then sit on my car while it is running in the garage. Of the drugs don’t kill me hopefully the carbon monoxide will. My only fears are hurting my son and my mom. My son will be 3 in October, so he wont really understand. I know that my dad and my step mom will adopt him. They have asked about it before and I am still living. I’m 23, I suffer from extreme depression and social phobia. I can’t […]
Three months ago I sold my house. It was a perfect house and I was able to make the payments. I struggled for 7 years since my divorce to stay in the house. I filed bankruptcy. Finally last August I came out of that bankruptcy and started living life. My girlfriend urged me to sell my house. Telling me I would be better off with out it. Lower my expenses and finally be able to move in with her. I wanted to have financial security in my life and finally with two good incomes I could have that. The catch was that I could not […]
I dont know when will this end, I have the feeling of emptiness, i dont talk, interact, think, i usually sit infront of the computer and just do nothing (because ive done every thing that could be done on a computer) i hate people, i hate my self, i hate society, even when i do drugs i have bad experiences (the high doesnt make me happy i just think of how bad my life turned to be), i am a 24 year old, i have an architecture degree ( though i hate engineering), and im living in a country where i have to join the army obligatory, […]
What does someone so broken and unloved have as the purpose of life?
by hogpotter
written by hogpotter
Someone who has a loving family would live to make his/her family happy.
Someone who has love would live to protect them.
But what would be the purpose of life for someone who is broken, battered, unloved? Tell me, what is the purpose of me living?
Why do i even try anymore . I am in pain i cant keep living like this. Overdosing on pills or hanging myself dont work at all!
I give up i can’t keep going on like this . I am invisible to the whole world and i cant take it anymore. I realy want to blow my brains out and just sleep forever !
Is suicide actually selfish if you’ve tried everything you know of out there to get better? Isn’t it selfish for others to stop you if you have tried everything? To stay living in torture just so that others can continue on as normal, how’s that fair?