I don’t know what it is but somehow people dislike me right after they see me. I am nice, shy and I am hygienic but something on my is repelling everyone. When I talk to them … when I try to talk to them … they either ignore me or push me away with ‘what do you want fatty/*****/loser’. There is no one I can talk to. Even when we have to make groups at school, I am the last one to be picked (which really does hurt) or I just get those look ‘ugh, she is in our group’. I’m scared to say something; […]
1. I am healthy.
2. I eat well.
3. I sleep well.
4. I have a very small social group around me. Very small, but they lift my mood. They make me laugh. They make me enjoy. I do not have a family, or love, but that is okay.
5. I am going to college soon. There is a long path stretching ahead. It may be dark and twisting, but at least it is not a dead end.
Even though recently I have been feeling a bit sad. I just realize how people have boyfriends and girlfriends, how people can fall in love, make life meaningful. How people have parents, […]
I’m tired. Really really tired. I just realized something today. I’ve been struggling my whole life for what? Nothing I do can change the outcome of my life. All I can do is choose whether I want to make things more difficult for myself or not.
I haven’t seen my therapist in almost a month. I know I should contact her and I feel bad for not showing up. But, talking with her is painful. It reminds me of what things should be like and how I want things to be. But, that’s never going to happen for me.
I could go to school. I could suck […]
I am 17 years of age.
Female to be exact
Life is really tough
I have tried oh so many times
To fit in this life
Suffocated is what i feel
and LOVE is what i need
Recently I’ve noticed that the more social I become the more suicidal thoughts I feel. I was with my friend yesterday and I was fine but as time went on I felt so insecure I don’t remember my exact thoughts but I know that they were self-hating it’s funny how I get lonely yet I feel awful when with people I feel like I don’t matter which I really don’t. I really feel upset when I hear good news from other people like oh ” so and so is doing so well they’re doing (insert activity here)” it just makes me feel like I had more going […]
I’ve been on this site many times before…Reading this blog is like reading the Bible to me. It’s refreshing to be able to read all the honest feelings in these posts. I am not happy to read about how so many of us are suffering, but at the same time, it’s nice to know that I am not alone in how I feel at times…Well most of the time. I wish that I could accurately describe how fucked up my life is…It really is exceptionally miserable. I’ve spent the majority of my life with depression and anxiety…But I always had hope for the the future..Hope for […]
I’m so worthless and ugly. I have no curves and a strait(ruler) body type. I’m lonely and I don’t know why I feel like this. I don’t want to. I don’t want to  be sad and feel sorry for myself.  I want to feel beautiful and I want to be happy. I do want to die. But I’m scared. Besides, I’m not even worthy enough to die. My reason for feeling like this is stupid. It’s not an actual reason. My life could be worse. I hate myself even more because I feel like this when I have no reason to… No one would miss […]
Do you see how broken I am now? How lonely.., lost.., and terrified I am? Can you see the pain in my eyes now? The cracks and scratches? Tell me.. Do you understand now? Do you care now? Do you regret your hurtful words now? Do you regret your doubts now? I was scared and I just wanted you to be there I just wanted you to care and understand and you doubted me.. Humiliated me.. Mocked me.. the scars are here and they cant be erased. So thanks. For making this bigger than it really was.. And thanks for putting me through all this.. […]
Why do I keep fucking shit up? Why am I so stupid? I just… Feel like I am no good to anyone. I feel like all I do is screw shit up. I have nowhere to go, no friends that I can rant to freely without them getting annoyed and I’m left to this site. I have hit rock-bottom, and my last resort was this website.
Tell me, how pathetic does that sound? A site called The Suicide Project is where I go to when I need to vent. Yeah, most may call me lucky: I’ve been accepted into an amazing cosmetology school, I’m a model, […]
I don’t think I am that messed up of a person. But right now all I want is to go to sleep and never wake up. The root of the problem is that I am lonely. You see, all I ever wanted was a wife and children. I know, it sounds lame, but it is true. But that won’t happen. I came close, once, years ago. But two months before our wedding, she broke it off, because “God told her to”. since then, I have tried again, but I’ve never felt a connection to anyone. And I know that as far as problems go, that […]
Tired of life.  I see many people who don’t want to live, but they somehow look strong. They are moving  around and trying to  find something attractive. Maybe I should try to find the way which may help me to  understand  that life isn’t so bad as it looks. Maybe I will be able to forget how lonely I am… that feeling sucks. Especially  when there are  so many people around me..
I’ve made so many mistakes. I’m only fifteen, turning sixteen next month and I’ve done so many horrible things. I don’t like to leave my house because I’m not sure who I’ll see and what they think of me. I’ve gone to bars and gotten drunk making a fool out of myself, tried to pick up strangers and people who know me and my family, I’ve done drugs and had sex for money, and to top it all off I got pregnant and got an abortion two weeks ago. I was only six weeks along but I feel so sad whenever I think about it. […]
Theres a girl … she doesnt know how to handle things… everythings spirling out of control… sometimes she can convince herself that shes not really alive… maybe shes in a nightmare.. and she just cant wake up..?
You’d never guess her secret if you knew here.. she hides it so well… she seems so happy… do you want to know her secret..? She cuts herself. She doesnt know why… and she doesnt understand why she resolved to it.. but one thing she knows is SHE CANT STOP.. […]
Especially if you are young and healthy and suffering without friends and relationships, admitting yourself into a hospital can really change your mental state around in a big way. Just being surrounded by fellow patients and staff had a very therapeutic effect on me. I actually miss being with all the company in the hospital, despite the abuse. So if you are considering suicide, I highly recommend you check yourself into a hospital first.
I’m really tired, I can’t live and I can’t kill myself and I spent last years just hiding from the world in my room and trying not to think about it. But now I’m losing strenght, I can’t run from the decision anymore. I’m really afraid, I can’t live because I’m so lonely that I see no reason… and I don’t want to kill myself, I would like to live… I just need someone…
its been a moment since the mental hospital and every time i go in there i forget what the goal is.I think about getting better and having friends and movies and fun stuff.I don’t think of the longer i wait the more i put a chance of everything around me of losing it.I think it must be scary to die and not lying it is ive been close to death before and that’s scary as hell. But when my mom and dad are gone im screwed im not going to know how to survive on my own.Which is why this suicide thing has to keep […]
I dont even know where to start my first and only love of 14 years, dropped a bombshell 4 weeks ago that he had been cheatin on me for six months and was leaving me and the two kids. I feel betrayed, lonely, hurt and empty. He was my best friend and we were planning our lives together and he just left and i dont understand why I wasnt enough and how he could just stop loving me after all these years. I know i sound weak and moany and should just pull myself togetrher because people are goin through worse but i just cant. I […]
Dear people,
I want to excuse myself for my English. I’m from the Netherlands so it isn’t very good.
The reason why I wanted to post something on the site is because I wanted to share something with you guys. I know that life can be difficult and harsh, and that you can feel very lonely in the sad world we all helped to create. But I learned something that changed my life. Your life is the most beautifull thing in the world, even if you can not feel it right now. It is like we all have a curtain before our eyes that blinds us to see […]
Oh god, who do i think i am? What exactly is my problem? I’m so confused and angry with myself. Sometimes, i mean most times, when i try to do my hair and everything, i just look in the mirror and burst out crying and get really frustrated by pulling on hair, hurting myself and swear at myself. Grrrr i hate being me -.- Sometimes, i might be happy, slightly happy anyway. And for some reason, i miss being sad and something just doesn’t feel right. And then i remember the bad days that’ll come soon and i get anxiety. Man, i’m retarded.
God, i’m so […]
I wrote this song about bullying and suicide. I hope that you will like it and I hope that it will help to sooth and educate people on bullying and suicide. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kn9NaB43C8A