I haven’t been here in a while… Which sounds good. It means I am trying to move on and maybe I will succeed.
Since than I have started to work out. Here is my fatball face with my workout buddy:
And I got my dream catcher tattoo which I was really excited about.
I am still planning my working in London, I just […]
I hate life, I hate people / humans, I hate reality, I hate this world.
its very boring, and especially nowadays become only very materialistic, money / profits driven only, all about money, superficial, shallow, and mundane boring!
Why movies, video games, comics, books, novels, anime/manga, creative Art, basically human’s IMAGINATION & fantasy is often/always a hundred times FAR much more interesting & better than this sad, mundane, boring, superficial, & very LIMITING life / world / reality ??…
does God (if there is indeed one…!) play such a cruel sick joke for especially creating human’s IMAGINATION inside our heads?? .. especially often the very creative, artistic, […]
I hate life. I hate people. I hate this world. I hate reality / real world / real life, they are all too boring/mundane for me, and I’ve found almost nothing that is interesting in this reality/real-life/real-world anymore, also in MOST people/humans!
the majority or MOST of human beings/people in this world I’ve found to be either a bunch of stupid, shallow, superficial, ignorant, selfish, rigid, stoic, lifeless, uninteresting, uncreative, and/or boring / mundane ones.
maybe that’s why this “reality” (or “real world” / “real life”) or our society currently is sooo f*cked up now almost beyond help!
with only VERY FEW exceptions of: real-GOOD, honest humans/people, real […]
It’s been 3 years since i last made a post on here about my depression. Let’s just say I’m the happiest I’ve really ever been. I coped with my depression by exercising and being healthy, doing so I lost 20 pounds in the process which I am happy about. When year 10 of school started I decided I would try something risky and I did. I tried out for the foreign exchange program to go overseas. With the risky decision I succeeded and am now going to Germany in July. And this is all because I found a way to cope with my depression and […]
I have had 15 or so surgeries, and everything hurts. My thoughts of suicide come daily. The only thing stopping me is the fact that my live in gf had a spouse that passed away before we started dating, and I hate the thought of her going through another death. I also, though I am not “religious” , I don,t want to end up in hell. Been looking into writings about this subject, and the bible says if someone commits suicide due to being in pain they can,t take any more, they will not be punished.
I am scheduled for another surgery in a few weeks, […]
Most people who have never had depression think depression is no more than just sadness. However, depression is much, much more. It is a never ending link of sadness. It doesn’t go away for a long time. Sometimes it doesn’t go away at all. There is almost no happiness when your are depressed or suicidal. For example, imagine when you are extremely sad. Now imagine that that extreme sadness never, ever goes away, at least not for a very long time. That is what it is like when you have depression.
Like I remember one time, I was at a thanksgiving party (This was last year in […]
I’ve stopped caring and so has everyone else. I’m struggling to find a reason to keep living this awful life, it’s not like I’ll go far in life anyways. Everyone dies eventually, why can’t I just make it happen for myself?
My kind of suicide isn’t suicide at all, as funny as that may sound.
The way I see it is that I don’t have to take my own life, life will take it for me. All I have to do is live. I mean, even if I get stricken with cancer I can be thankful I won’t live to an old age where I’m helpless, just get it over with. That’s worth the pain I think. I’ve seen an old friend die of cancer, in comparison to other ways one can go out, it didn’t seem that bad the way it hit him quick. And […]
Fuck it.
Fuck myself, fuck everything.
I’m in a perpetual emotional tilt. Dazed and confused. Head spinning.
Legs shaking. Feel like smashing stuff.
I would be a calm guy, I would. I am that guy. But have no choice anymore. I’m losing it.
There’s no choice. It all bullshit. Its in me and from the past. Its fatum.
Hey, I believed in peace and justice and all that. But seriously, if I had power, before abolishing this type of financial system, etc, I would FUCKING WHIP everybody first!
Just fucking burn, Just fucking burn.
All nonsense. I have nothing, nothing. Worthy men have died younger than me, so what the fuck? Why do I fucking […]
Hello, new people of the SuicideProject.
My name is Ryan, but you can just call me RealTalk30, or RealTalk, or RT3, or just RT. I am 31 years old and I live in California USA. I’ve been frequenting this web site for about 4 months now, and I’ve become a regular here. I’ve met some really amazing people here, and it’s unfortunate that such amazing people can be so alone, scared and angry. We all have our reasons for being here. My reason for being here is that there is no other place for my selective opinions, not too many places like this one where I […]
I haven’t come here for a long time, but this evening is just too much for me. More than anything, I need someone to take care of me tonight. I’m in so much of pain (physical) that I can barely stand or walk. I’m hungry, but I don’t have it in me to actually do something about it. I’ve been feeling so lonely recently, and this physical pain is making the emotional pain worse. I would love to have someone take care of me for a change, rather than me being the one that helps everyone else. But tonight, I am reminded just how alone […]
this question seems too obvious I know..but i am just too curious..
i have been thinking “then what”?? for a very very long time. Every ones gonna die, may be today, tomorrow , 10 years later..IDK.. and when you die, would you like an elaborate funeral, and memorial??
I am a Hindu Brahmin and we have an elaborate funeral rite that extends over an year, plus elaborate commemorative services every year hence forth.
you can read about it here, if you are interested:Â http://in.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20090820093602AA3uumz
And I wouldn’t care less about whats gonna happens to my “body” once i am gone. I don’t want an “elaborate rite” .. they can […]
It’s been a tough few months for me lately.
Some days i hide it well, others, not so much.
Some days I am sat on my own in my bedroom and I feel so low I have no idea where to go or what to do.
I consider whether my next breath is worth taking dozens of times a day.
Some nights i go to sleep and admit to myself that not waking up; well it wouldn’t be so bad.
Sometimes i will try to talk family or friends but they are always seeming so happy that I don’t want to spoil their day so I […]
I have been waiting at the bus stop of a very long time now, waiting for my bus to come.. the assurance that I CAN get on a bus when ever I want without much Baggage gives me some kind of relief.
This is basically how my day goes. I don’t really get sound sleep during the night, its pretty much disturbed and when ever I wake up in between, during that little time when your sleep gets disturbed and you fall back asleep, I could only think about CTB.
when I wake up in the morning I am pretty sure that today is the day, an […]
Really, what’s so great about this world anyways? All I see are a bunch of people who have too many worries to be bothered with some suicidal girl, and I don’t blame them, I wish I could be one of them but I’m not. I’m just a repulsive, hard to love, self harming, suicidal girl. I’m no one special or anyone that will be truly missed. Can someone come and stab me to death, please? It would be much appreciated.
I just spent the night at my guy friends house along with a couple of other so-so friends. It took me all night to realize that he was just as dark and alone as I was. He has been depressed for almost as long as I have. That’s a really long time. He carries the weight of everything on his shoulders. He’s constantly pressured and yelled at by everyone. That explains why he always looked so pissed in the hallways whenever I saw him. I can’t wait to see him on Tuesday (no school Monday) and see more of his point of view. I finally […]
So recently I found a new girlfriend and she’s made me see things in a new perspective. She’s made me see my problem. My past haunts me and is the reason why I’m broken and beyond repair. I’m trying to let it go. I’m trying to be free, but I can’t…
Some days are just easier than others…
What I’m confused about is if I should go on with my planned suicide.
Some days I feel like I shouldn’t because there’s a life to live now, but other days I feel like going through with it at the moment. What disappoints me is that the sad days are […]
It all started on the 25/08/13,
I had just gotten home from drama eisteddfods, which I had been placing in really well and winning majority, my weekend was going great, I also for once had a boy that was interested in me! I know can you believe it me!. When I got home I started talking to that boy and he was having a hard time with his depression and I was helping him. And then it happened. I logged onto Facebook and I see a post in a secret group that I’m in, (my acting class) and it says that Sam Cannon has […]
Hello. Long time no see. Erm… this is rather unrelated to suicide, but I wanted to know if anyone here is getting a warning for a malicious site when visiting SP? I use Avast! antivirus, as well as Firefox, and every time I come here I get a warning that looks like this:
Malicious URL Blocked
avast! Network Shield has blocked a harmful site.
Object: http://cdn.mauiblogger.net/k
Infection: URL:Mal
Is this a false positive or what? Am I the only one this is happening to? It’s very annoying.
I do but then again I couldn’t care less. There’s just so much pain behind the fake smile that I put on my face every morning in order to “fit in.” I’m just tired, can someone come and shoot me in the head? I don’t deserve to live anyways, I want to die.
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