Tag:

my head

by Mark_1981 4/5/2016

written by Mark_1981

No one can adequatly explain what i’ve been through, not even I. The stress, trauma, isolation… the daily thoughts that run through my head. I already know that I simply won’t make it for much longer let alone old age. I’m tired of life and want to sleep.

I met with my 3rd therapist who confirmed, yet again, that my life’s experiences fall outside of the normal paradigm. It isnt so much that these things occured but rather the psychological impact of such. I’m tired of trying. So very very tired.

4/5/2016 2 comments

Just some questions

by MaybeElena 4/1/2016

written by MaybeElena

Why do people say it’s selfish to end your own life?

What’s so selfish about ending your own suffering?

Why do people make your suicide mission about them?

Why is it always “You don’t want to be remembered like that, do you”?

Do you know the constant battle that’s going on inside my head?

Do you know that self harm is the only thing that makes me feel in control of my life?

Are you there every night when I cry myself to sleep?

Do you understand it’s a miracle I’m not already dead?

4/1/2016 5 comments

by deadmanliving(hopefullyhopeful) 3/30/2016

written by deadmanliving(hopefullyhopeful)

I just saw Batman v Superman for the 2nd time and i have to say i have a much higher opinion of it than when I saw it the first time. The more I think about the more i realize how connected to this movie i am. I understand what its like to not be perfect and lambasted for it. I get what its like not to be accepted for what you are. For people to not see how good you are despite your flaws. I understand what its like tl be pre classified based upon criteria you can’t control because you are grouped in […]

3/30/2016 11 comments

“Forgive me Father”

by DaylightFades 3/29/2016

written by DaylightFades

Forgive me Father,

for I have sinned.

I’ve swallowed my sorrow:

it stirs within.

Like salmon in spring,

it swims upstream;

spawns in my hopes,

nests in my dreams.

Like His crown

of vengeful thorns,

around my head

I wear my scorn.

Pin my palms

and soles of feet

to every promise

I failed to keep

3/29/2016 0 comment

Someone

by beaubri 3/27/2016

written by beaubri

Make me feel like I’m the only girl in the world. I want to feel wanted. I want to feel something other than this dread right now before I start to tear myself apart from the inside out. I’m begging please on my knees. I’m not in a safe place with my head. That part of me is starting to cover me like a cloak. Soon there will be nothing left again. I’m not ok. I keep on spiraling. All these memories of happiness flooded my brain and all at once turned depressive and negative. I’m eating myself alive.

3/27/2016 17 comments

hey peeps get this…

by Mr Angry-mosta tha time 3/27/2016

written by Mr Angry-mosta tha time

… so I was sitting on the couch listening ta triple J enjoying a nice coffee, right, and I’m nice and relaxed so I just put my head back and I had a sip of coffee in my mouth and when I went to swallow it I noticed a little bit of trouble like I just had to move my head (and with it my neck) down just a little bit in order to swallow, and it got me trying to drink down this drink with my head held all the way back and I just couldnt do it without the little bit of forward, […]

3/27/2016 40 comments

Protected: A sort of prayer.

by whiskered-fish 3/26/2016

written by whiskered-fish

There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.

3/26/2016 53 comments

Fucking hypocrites

by BlueEyes 3/26/2016

written by BlueEyes

Fucking hypocrites, everyone of them.

Everyone who judges me and tells me I’m on the wrong path; then I look a little deeper and realize what fucked-up lives THEY lead.

Their own abusive relatives, partners who ignore them, bad marriages, addictions, self-loathing… they need to look at their own fucking problems before they pass sentence on me.

I’m not going to listen to them anymore. I am reaching higher. I am going within and learning to follow my instincts; to listen to my gut, my head, my heart. I am going to hone that skill. All my instincts have been telling me to Be Love. To reach out to those I want […]

3/26/2016 3 comments

Rant

by Drowning 3/25/2016

written by Drowning

A lot of people are really having a tough time right now and I’m one of them

i can’t seems to get my head around why people get depressed? have I always been depressed subconsciously at one point my life was ok I guess then depression kicked in and it’s just escalated from there really I mean I self harmed since a kid not cutting scratching my self hitting then as I got older cutting came about

why do people get depressed some people can have everything live nice have money etc and still get depressed isit something in the water government trying to depopulate the earth […]

3/25/2016 6 comments

A disappointing mess that has all the potential to be better but through utter incompetence fails to reach potential.

by deadmanliving(hopefullyhopeful) 3/25/2016

written by deadmanliving(hopefullyhopeful)

As I watched moody superheroes fight i realized what this movie is accurately describes my life. It means well has some good parts. But is too depressing and meaningless to be truly enjoyed. Im too much of a fat pos to ever be cared about. I’m too incompetent to improve my life. I’m giving myself 18 months. Its a very short amount of time. If things aren’t improving then it’s off with my head. Im so tired of impoverished lonelines, alienation, and obesity as normalcy. I’m not living. This isn’t living.

3/25/2016 2 comments

In the mist.

by beaubri 3/24/2016

written by beaubri

Of a lenghty e-mail reply. And the Wi-Fi connection to the lap top here decided to shit out. I’ve spent 3 hours trying to type. I’m unable to reset the internet until everyone is done using it. It’s just the lap top is having troubles troubleshooting.

I haven’t showered today. I ate however. Enjoying a beer, listening to clasical piano. My mother has been screaming and yelling all night. I told her something simple and she bit my head off pretty much. And has continued to bite my head of. Jesus woman calm down before I bite your head off. I would have so much to […]

3/24/2016 7 comments

Quickly Quickly Quickly.

by GTSuicide_6 3/24/2016

written by GTSuicide_6

My hearts pounding.

I want to call it quits for tonight, and go to bed.

Its only 10 PM. This’ll be the first time going to bed at 10 PM (before midnight) after months, and years and …

Too long.

I am not moving.

I am not caring.

I am sad and helpless and I need something

i’m holding onto my head stressing about going to bed so early. I haven’t done this before. What if I get horrible sleep paralysis tonight? This is a horrible decision. I’m going to be so f;ing–

Help. Someone help. Its wrong it feels wrong.

I gotta say some of this is my OCD crap. Its as if […]

3/24/2016 12 comments

Anger.

by beaubri 3/24/2016

written by beaubri

I can’t fucking sleep. I haven’t been able to sleep for 3 days now and im about ready to freak the fuck out. My body feels weird in a horrid way. I just want to blow my head off, or his. I hate this fucking place. I need to leave. Tonight I’m wearing 5 layers of clothes. Under 6 blankets. He’s fucking here and I want to fucking kill him. You have no fucking idea how didficult it is pretending everything is normal. Everything is fucking peachy mom! Don’t worry about me! I’m fucking fine!

3/24/2016 10 comments

Welcome back

by Drowning 3/23/2016

written by Drowning

it’s been a wile but I guess your due to return

Me-hay insomnia it’s been awhile

insomnia-I know you thought u could hide from me with sleeping pills right ?

me-umm well kinda yeah u keep me up all night messing with my head making me over think and drain the little life I have in me

insomnia – haha well I’m back to kick u in the teeth what u going to go with out them pills now huh ?

me-……..

Insomnia- you know your life a mess right ?

Me-no I didn’t know it was a mess actually I thought it was going fine if u ask me that’s why […]

3/23/2016 14 comments

gotta love all the work i do on a day off

by Wintergirl 3/23/2016

written by Wintergirl

I just got done with a sinkful of dishes. There’s laundry on the bathroom floor. There’s laundry in the dryer waiting for me. There’s some clutter in every room. My problem is I’m so easily distracted it takes me forever to get anything done…gotta pick out music, find just the right song, oh, it’s raining outside? Gotta find a different song. That counters a little dirty, hmm what’s going on at SP. Yeah. So this is just me getting all the noise out of my head.

I’m making TACOS for dinner. Over here we like to use this fajita steak in place of ground beef. It’s […]

3/23/2016 19 comments

I’m back (for a moment)

by Engie 3/22/2016

written by Engie

Hi guys. It’s been a while since I was last here.
It’s 8:16pm and I’ve been at work for over 13 hours. My concentration is fizzing. I’m trying to get these drafts out before tomorrow, but I’m fighting the familiar thoughts again.

I feel like I have so much to tell everyone about what happened in the time I was gone from this forum, but I don’t have the energy right now.

I’m contemplating leaving now and coming back early tomorrow to finish this off before work starts. I’m not being very productive anyway.

At the same time, I find myself thinking “If I’m going to do this, […]

3/22/2016 0 comment

The deep end

by DaylightFades 3/14/2016

written by DaylightFades

I jumped into the deep end,

(first my head and then my feet)

I’m drowning in the water;

I’ve fallen in too deep.

I’m drowning in this bed,

and I’m drowning in these sheets,

my hope was once my life vest,

now I’m sinking in my sleep.

They say “Seek Salvation”

but I haven’t found it yet,

I inhale and I exhale-

I’m still struggling for breath.

I’m running out of oxygen,

I’m running out of air

I’m at war with the world,

but the world’s not fighting fair

3/14/2016 3 comments

Sneeze, Sniff, Snort, Squish…

by Cordless 3/12/2016

written by Cordless

ice-cream-1

Various Thoughts:

1) I’m coming down with a cold/flu thing, and have a sore throat.
I tried the important time-honored therapy known as “To hell with it, I’m having ice cream.”

And yet my throat is still sore, so this is going to last a few days.

2) I also am sneezing and sniffing, so apparently ToTrees and I will both be going (*sniff sniff*) for awhile. This is ok. I’m in good company.

3) Add all the other muscle aches and unmentionable disturbances that come with cold/flu bug […]

3/12/2016 31 comments

Happiness Is In The Mind

by -M- 3/5/2016

written by -M-

Want to make me happy? Put a gun to my head and pull the fucking trigger.

3/5/2016 8 comments

No Reason to Fight

by -M- 2/29/2016

written by -M-

I don’t know why I keep fighting through this shithole called life. Every force, being, and power is pushing against me, hoping to drive my head further into the darkness. The worst part is I am losing. I have to reason to push through to the invisible light at the end of hell; I have lost the traction that helped move my feet forward. I cannot do this anymore. It really is easier to let go of everything, even including yourself.

2/29/2016 2 comments

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