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my life
Depression is like a war you either win or lose at battling. Depression is like a cage you cannot get out of. Depression is like suffocating but in reality you’re not. Depression is something most people battle with. It absolutely sucks and I don’t know why people want it. You always want to be alone, not to be bothered with. It’s like being trapped in your own mind you cannot esacpe yourself. I always wonder how different my life would be without Depression. I wonder about how many wonderful things I would do. Hang out with friends. Open my mouth to assholes. Say what I […]
A good song that is. It’s been a while since last I was here. A shit load has happened… I tried to resolve my issues, I’ve tried to resolve that I have to push through life. I refuse to believe this is a fucking disease. The only disease on this planet that doesn’t rot your flesh is humanity itself if I can cut past the idea that I’m talking about you, the reader.
I know I can’t kill myself… not myself anyhow. I’m too much of a coward and all of my attempts have just been those of a coward. So I can’t do that.
Right now […]
My bed is warm and safe. I like to be in bed because then I can hide away from the world.
I can dream and do all the things in my dreams that are virtually impossible (at least at the moment) in real life.
My cat sleeps on me and comforts me. I can play my 3DS and get lost in computer game worlds.
Sometimes, I get anxious and scared if I’m not in bed. I feel guilty because I feel as if I am wasting my life. But I don’t get any pleasure in going out where I live. It reminds me too much of the horrible […]
My depression use to consume me, lately I just get days where ill hide away hopeless and miserable, other days ill feel ok and get on with life depending on how im distracting myself. Sometimes I question if im depressed or mentally ill, I do things people dont ordinarily do and hear voices. Im trying to be more positive for my boyfriend as he’s put up with so much for no reason other than he loves me, I want to change and be what he deserves, but its so hard trying to be happy and stay positive when things are happening to you that you […]
Hi,
I still can’t believe what I am doing. Looking for help in the Internet? In the past I’d probably just laugh at such a stupid idea. Instead, I’m here telling you how hopeless my life has become and how hard I’d just like to have a forever rest from everything. I wish I could not live. Who asked me if I wanted to live? I was just born. That’s not fair. Well, anyway, I just want to say hi to everyone. I’ve read many of your posts as I’ve been considering this step for a long time and finally I’m here. I’m impressed by your […]
My biggest fear is my life passing too quickly and not accomplishing anything. I hate waking up in the morning just to know that night will soon come . I feel like I am just present during my day to day lifestyle . I am not satisfied . I don’t care to see the same people everyday, or do the same activities . I hate repetition. I can’t live a life where I wake up to work everyday regurgitate the same bullshit the next day .
I would be happier if my lifestyle was different . But it’s unrealistic. My ideal lifestyle could never happen. […]
I’m just feeling pretty hopeless tonight. I don’t post much. I don’t talk much in real life either, at least, not about how I feel. But tonight, I know I won’t sleep with this poison inside of me. I feel hopeless on every level. Individually, I am worthless and talentless and broken from a violent and turbulent childhood. I am so mentally and emotionally taxed that I am losing the ability to function normally. Someday soon, this is going to catch up with me and likely destroy my life. Relationally, I don’t know how to be open in friendships or to be vulnerable romantically or to […]
Words cannot describe how much appreciation I feel for the feedback on my last post. It almost left me in a pool of tears. A very big thank you to those who left those comments! I really doubted myself a lot with my artistic skills almost to the point were I stopped. Drawing is all the talent I have left and I almost lost it because I mope around wondering if I’ll get anywhere in my life. Seeing your comments inspired me to peruse my talent, to get me up off my lazy a**. You have my thanks and gratitude. I wish I could have […]
Anxiety , bipolar disorder , and depression. I feel like I have been falling some what back into my old ways again. I’m falling apart . And all I can think about about is suicide again lately . I find it bringing a peaceful end to my life .
Dear all,
I got the first email which someone had asked for help. Someone cannot take Depression anymore and wished to erase herself from existence. Due to privacy, I will not disclose the name. I wasn’t sure of what happened but I have replied the email, hoping to hear from the person soon. I am neither a psychologist nor a psychiatrist; I do not have the expertise in medication or knowledge of how to deal with Negativeness and by that, Depression or any of the problems that many are facing. I can only be a reader and/or a listener of your problems and challenges faced, be it created […]
This is my first ever post. But I was desperate for some help because I don’t know how much longer I can go on. For many years I have off and on considered giving up and ending my life. And lately the need and want for giving up is growing stronger. Some mornings it is just hard to get up and out of bed. I live with my boyfriend, who does not take suicide very seriously and only thinks it is stupid and what weak people do. I have a hard time talking to him about it. He asked me to be stronger. I don’t […]
I used to be happy. I used to be full of joy. I used to be bursting with life. What happened? What made me feel this way, living with so much hate and emptiness? I’m an average person with nice friends, a caring family, and an endless amount of love in their heart, right? Wrong. That’s what people think about me, that’s what people believe that I am. Sadly, they don’t know the real me. In reality, I’m a wreck. I have had depression for a month, suffer from anxiety attacks, and lack motivation, not to mention the constant emptiness I feel. I recently started […]
Hello.
I’m not very sure why I made this account, but you all seem nice enough. I don’t have a bad life. I have loving parents, an annoying brother, and many friends that love and care about me. So it isn’t really fair for me to complain, right? But every single day is filled with anxiety and fear that I will do something wrong. I am a perfectionist and someone who worries a little bit too much. My hands are shaking as I type this because I fear that it will be something that I will regret starting for the rest of my life. Oh. How […]
This is my first post so. There’s no justified reason for me to talk about my background or how I came to the point where I am now talking about my worthless life to a bunch of people who I don’t know and who probably don’t care. I’m sure the things I post will be the same things everyone’s heard a million times. I’m not saying that it makes what anyone has been through any less significant or important or painful and damaging, but it kind of sucks that I’m just another depressed, screwed up teenager reaching out to people on the internet because there’s […]
It’s time for a rant!
Sometimes I just need to get things out of my system, otherwise they stay there like bologna someone has left on the counter for ten days. Nobody wants it there but everybody’s afraid to touch it now because it’s green and crawling.
So, here are today’s things that irritate the crap out of me.
Coupons I don’t find until the day after they’ve expired.
(“Nooooo… one day… late… Must save… twenty-five cents….”)
Loud rambunctious people in public, including kids who shout every sentence while their parents don’t take the time to teach them appropriate volume. Meanwhile the kids just shout louder.
Me: “Wouldn’t it […]
I’ve been crying more and more often. I’m going on 57 years old, I’ve been living with HIV for almost half of my life, and in recent years I’ve been becoming increasingly resigned to the prospect of finishing out the rest of my life alone and unloved. I’ve been in two 5-year relationships in the past, both with guys who knew of my HIV status and accepted it, but ultimately decided that the grass on the other side of the fence was just a bit greener. It’s been 12 years since I’ve had the simple pleasure of walking up in the morning WITH someone else.
A […]
I don’t really know how the idea came to my mind, but I’ll do it.
As many of you know, my life is a living hell, and yeah, a lot of people wonder how am I still alive.
There’s something in this world that I love with all my soul, with all my heart. No matter what happens to me, that little thing puts a smile on my face. It brightens my day.
And now, I’ll try to make something for that thing. The thing that keeps me alive.
I’ll have to give up on the idea of trying to leave again, because I’ll need some money. […]
Today was a good day, got to pick up that special lady in my life. My 11 year old daughter, what a complete and wonderful BLESSING she is, and she can always bring me outta my funks. Nothing beats the pure and innocent love of a child, and it truly humbles me to know that there is still a love like that in the world. She doesn’t look at me like the guy who works all the time, or the guy in the Motorcycle Club, or the guy that used to be married to her momma, NOPE !!!!!!!! I’m […]
What happens when you’re young and optimistic,
But you grow old forget to be opportunistic?
What is it when you’ve loved and you’ve lived,
But now you hate and you’ve lost?
What do you do when you want to die at any cost?
Is life worth it if you’re not thriving at it?
All I want is happiness, why aren’t I striving for it?
Is it too much to ask, for this smile to be real?
It’s just a front, a face to conceal.
These tears flow like a river,
They come running out every night, as I shiver.
Why can’t I do it, just […]