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my life

Weird, Sad and Mad

by Mr Angry-mosta tha time
written by Mr Angry-mosta tha time

Hey all, I’ve known and read through SP for a little while now and have now joined.

Where do I begin. “I hate my life”, I guess would be it. I think and say this most days now and my general demeanor is usually unhappy and frustrated at the state of my life. I know my life isn’t particularly a bad one, I mean its comfortable and easy (im 20 still looking for a job (that aint likely)) I get to do lots of nothing and play games most of the time so mostly I shouldnt really complain but screw mostly, I will if I want […]

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Untitled

by imokaybutnotreally
written by imokaybutnotreally

“You have so much to live for.”

I don’t know how may more times I can listen to that. Anytime I talk to any friends or family it’s the same thing. They start by telling me how I am going through a rough patch and that it will all get better. They don’t offer any real advice. They half ass their responses and tell me how my future is going to be just fantastic. I am getting frustrated even thinking of it now. A severe case of anxiety and depression is no “rough patch”. I have been dealing with these issues since before I can remember. […]

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For my mother

by bringtherave
written by bringtherave

so I’ve been thinking, what I said before is true but, I couldn’t end my life for the sake of my mother. I know she hurts and I couldn’t put her through anymore. I want to tell her everything. I want to talk to her and help her. I made a promise to myself last night that I will always be here for her. no matter how much pain I have to go through. I have enough as it is but for my mother I would do anything. she’s the strongest person I’ve seen in my life and my hero. I’ll absolutely do anything for […]

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A disappointing mess that has all the potential to be better but through utter incompetence fails to reach potential.

by deadmanliving(hopefullyhopeful)
written by deadmanliving(hopefullyhopeful)

As I watched moody superheroes fight i realized what this movie is accurately describes my life. It means well has some good parts. But is too depressing and meaningless to be truly enjoyed. Im too much of a fat pos to ever be cared about. I’m too incompetent to improve my life. I’m giving myself 18 months. Its a very short amount of time. If things aren’t improving then it’s off with my head. Im so tired of impoverished lonelines, alienation, and obesity as normalcy. I’m not living. This isn’t living.

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Hotlines

by filmg1rl
written by filmg1rl

Every time I think about calling a suicide hotline I stop myself because I’m overwhelmed by the concept of having to explain my life to a total stranger. It seems like the first 3 hours would be spent just catching them up. Why bother?

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Hunted

by Broken Ninja
written by Broken Ninja

“What could possibly be Hell, but the culmination of this life’s suffering, trapped inside the mind of someone who cannot withstand it?”

 

Every day they come, every day they go. Hunting like a pack of wolves in wind, in rain, in snow.

Never do they hunger, never do they bleed. Yet driven by an instinct shouting, “Kill! Grow! Feed!”

They are not without a mind. They think, they wait, they plan. The weakest of the hunters could kill the greatest man.

What are these fearsome beasts? Your guess is good as mine. I watch them chase her every day, last night I counted nine.

I am oh so weak. This fact now […]

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Quickly Quickly Quickly.

by GTSuicide_6
written by GTSuicide_6

My hearts pounding.

I want to call it quits for tonight, and go to bed.

Its only 10 PM. This’ll be the first time going to bed at 10 PM (before midnight) after months, and years and …

Too long.

I am not moving.

I am not caring.

I am sad and helpless and I need something

i’m holding onto my head stressing about going to bed so early. I haven’t done this before. What if I get horrible sleep paralysis tonight? This is a horrible decision.  I’m going to be so f;ing–

Help. Someone help. Its wrong it feels wrong.

I gotta say some of this is my OCD crap. Its as if […]

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by Drowning
written by Drowning

i find it so hard to express how I’m really feeling or mayb I don’t know how I’m feeling

so the mental health people come to check up on me every 3 days now because what happened on Monday well the woman asked do I regret doing it I pursed and said noI don’t….

because my life is pretty much a mess I don’t know what to do were to start lost interest in everything I’m bored of life iv seen enough and been though a lot why be optimistic ? Yeah things can get better but finding happiness is what counts and I don’t tink il […]

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Things are going as life shouldn’t

by bringtherave
written by bringtherave

things aren’t too bad. at least I think. im not sure about a lot of things anymore. its hard to believe or trust anyone anymore. a lot of people have left me and it hurts to watch everyone I love leave me and blame everything on me. I say sorry way too much and it annoys people but I cant help it. I always feel like everything is my fault and like I’ve done something wrong. I haven’t cut in I dont know how long but I still think of it every day. suicide is always on my mind and I cant stop it. I […]

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FINALLY!!! XD

by lifeisweird
written by lifeisweird

I’ve been looking for a place that I can get this off my chest for YEARS. I truly think I have the strongest self hatred anyone has ever had. From the time I first started school as a child all the way to when I graduated I was fucked with A LOT for the way I looked. I used to be obese but I lost almost 100Ib two years ago. I was an easy target for bullies, and girls would just laugh in my face and tell me how fucking ugly I was on a daily basis. My life at home wasn’t any better. I […]

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I miss being a child

by thehusk
written by thehusk

I’m going through some of my old things from childhood, as part of a clearout, and I’m finding it hard to get rid of them. They’re my link to a time when I wasn’t like this. When I felt really alive, as opposed to just living.

I’m not sure what exactly it is. I suppose they remind me of when I was last happy. When the world seemed both fascinating and simple, rather than threatening and complex. Every tiny thing felt meaningful, as opposed to now, when everything I do is kind of empty. My life felt worthwhile. The world was a good place to be, […]

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I can’t move on…

by GraemeGuy
written by GraemeGuy

I was with someone 7 months ago. We had been together for 6 yrs. She has 2 children from a previous marriage. Our relationship was just a big fantasy I now see.

I come from a poor family and what little help my parents imparted to me just wasn’t enough to get me somewhere. I have no skills or anything and my future is bleak.

My ex on the other hand has had everything handed to her in life. She has had money and opportunities. All through our relationship she was living her dream. I see that I was just some kind of visitor in her life. […]

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Sweet tooth.

by beaubri
written by beaubri

I live for sweets. It’s one joy in my life out of few. I don’t care if it’s bad for my teeth. I’d rather endulge in sweets throughout my life. I’m eating frozen moose tracks yogurt. My breath already smells funny. The yogurt is old, I’m not sure how old, but it has a little freezer burn. But I don’t care.

It’s cold tonight. It’s storming, raining and hailing. I eat ice cream and sich when it’s cold or nights like this. Isn’t that weird I hate ice cream in the summer. It melts so fast.

Besides this, I’m waiting to hear from a friend. He is […]

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What do you have to be afraid of?

by Gry
written by Gry

You're a ghost driving a meat coated skeleton made of stardust. What do you have to be afraid of?

I made some changes in my life. I wasn’t happy at my job, so I quit. I’ll need another job eventually, (I’m considering going back to school this fall, even) but for now I’m a house husband, blogger, working on some cosplay (because I wanted to grow up to be an Imagineer), preparing my first novel for self-pub via Amazon, and working on a second novel.

Life isn’t […]

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Ugh mornings suck and so do trash days…. Lets chat? XD

by Sui the Bunny
written by Sui the Bunny

So as some of you already know I had tried and attempted my life yesterday… You can see how that turned out *waves like a maniac* NOPE still here so whilst still possibly thinking of another method and action plan. Let’s talk guys!!! *throws confetti and pies everywhere* I’m not good at this don’t judge i’m new at making conversations with others i’m even surprised anyone talked to me and now I have friends on this site YAY!! <—— Sarcastic of course it’s to early for me to be hyper I haven’t even had any sugar….. Be right back don’t start the chat without me […]

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broken

by Hedabuvh20
written by Hedabuvh20

HI all,

I have been totally broke down for four years now. I really don’t have any idea what will bring me back to life. I’ve tried, but I have not been able to do it. I don’t want to be this way for the rest of my life, but it is very well possible that I will be.

When I say I am broken, I mean that I do not feel alive. I don’t feel depressed either, and that’s not to say in any way that I am therefore happy. Broken is the best word. I don’t know what is sustaining me and that fact that […]

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So innocent people die and i get to live.

by deadmanliving(hopefullyhopeful)
written by deadmanliving(hopefullyhopeful)

Yet another terrorist attack has happened this time in Brussels. Its depressing. When ever a shooting or attack happens i can’t help but to think why does someone have to lose their loved ones and i have to stay. I get so depressed i can’t help but to want to die. If i trade my life for any person who matters who died in any act of senseless violence i would. It doesn’t feel right at all.

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We all need to anchor to something or I have my ups and downs right now is a down but at least the ups happen.

by deadmanliving(hopefullyhopeful)
written by deadmanliving(hopefullyhopeful)

 

I never knew there was a video for this now 12 year old song. I was depressed when it came out and i still am. I may never overcome it honestly. In some ways i understand that. I dont know how ive lasted this long. There is plenty of reason to be proud of myself. I’m tired of the permanent loneliness. The emotional disconnect from humanity. I don’t have social networking/media. I have never dated regularly anyone in person. Ive never had real close friends save for a needy user. I have goals and hopes and even help with them. Im going to […]

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Here’s my story.

by Sui the Bunny
written by Sui the Bunny

My story starts from the age of 4 where I was physically abused by one my caregivers right until they left. The age of 5 I was sent to a horrible school bullied from day 1 not only was I bullied from the students I was bullied by some of the teachers. Being name called, pushed, punched, objects thrown at me wasn’t exactly a fun time.  I ended up only going to that school for a year. I was transferred to another school with a horrible principal, some horrible teachers, kids with a lot of problems/issue (some of those kids taking out their problems on […]

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2 kinds of people in this world

by GraemeGuy
written by GraemeGuy

There are basically 2 kinds of people: Those who are satisfied, fulfilled, at peace with life and eventual death. They cruise through whatever bumps, minor or large, that life throws at them. Through it all they have strength and resolve to go on with life, good or bad. They find or are handed success and somehow they get to live full lives with intimate relationships and lots of good times.

Then there are the others. The ones like me. We never fit in.

We seem to carry pain around with us. Life never really feels “right”. We have more questions and anxiety than our counter parts. Finances, […]

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