Tag:

no matter what

Whew. Now I can breathe. (sniff sniff Hey, wait…)

by Cordless 2/6/2016

written by Cordless

Wading through bureaucracy is sort of like having to sniff Satan’s armpit sweat through a really long straw. It’s unpleasant no matter what method you use, but hey, the rules and regulations say you HAVE to use a straw… and the straw has to be blue, and it has to come from one particular office which is only open on Tuesdays from 3:00 to 3:02 pm.

On a related note:

I got the Medicaid problem sorted out.
There was a computer error; someone hadn’t sent my information through all the right channels, and that’s why stuff wasn’t showing up as being approved.

But it’s fixed now.
I got […]

2/6/2016 20 comments

Bravely follow until the end.

by Mikemike 2/2/2016

written by Mikemike

I thought I wanted to die, and I guess I still do. But I will not go on their terms. I will follow bravely until the end, with my chest out and my head held high, no matter what hurdles I face, when the time comes I will grasp death by the hand and tell him “Thank you for waiting for me”

Philosophy

2/2/2016 2 comments

Just feel like a hopeless loser

by blank-clutter 1/11/2016

written by blank-clutter

I cant shake this feeling of patheticness that lives within in me, its like a cancer that has grown to occupy and associate itself with so much of my thoughts. I cant look at something simple and not have it trigger these self defeating and narcissistic thoughts.

Everything feeds it and makes it grow, stronger and stronger. It has gotten to the point where it effects everything I do, every conversation I have, every task that I have to go through to live my life.

Is someone had a disease that the doctor could see in a scanner and see that it has spread so much, they […]

1/11/2016 1 comment

The worst type of crying

by Luke 1/11/2016

written by Luke

The worst type of crying wasn’t the kind everyone could see–the wailing on street corners, the tearing at clothes. No, the worst kind happened when your soul wept and no matter what you did, there was no way to comfort it. A section withered and became a scar on the part of your soul that survived. For people like us(“us” here includes me and all my lovely supporting friends at the suicideproject website) our souls contained more scar tissue than life.

1/11/2016 0 comment

Intermittent Joy

by anthropophobia 12/27/2015

written by anthropophobia

I am momentarily happy, made some good decisions, while also being a bit impulsive. Of course the impulsive is a negative thing, but I am generally deluded, so I think I have it under control. It’s a flaw in judgement and inhibition, as if the impulse center in my brain has grown rabid, viciously pursuing euphoric pleasure or joy. However, I find that I am very capable of redeveloping that self control, seems tonight taught me a lot of things.

I found out that living in a hedonistic capricious way is liberating, and it allows you to stifle the constricting grip of life’s hardship. The […]

12/27/2015 10 comments

Godbye guys

by Costy 12/25/2015

written by Costy

I am going to end it these days. I want you to know that no matter what problem you have in your lives it will always be a brighter way. The thing is that in the world are losers and winners. I am a loser, even if have / will have everything this darkness that is inside of me won’t go away. Btw, you are always in control. No matter what happened to you, you are always in control. Don’t be a fucking depressed guy like me and go and live your life at your fullest. Do whatever makes you happy. I am sure that […]

12/25/2015 11 comments

Losing friends

by YoungGods 12/13/2015

written by YoungGods

So my friend had a boyfriend who used her in so many ways. And they’ve been going out on and off for many years (3 or 4 years?) So about a week or two ago he shows up at her house after a few good months and they get back together and now I feel totally betrayed. I helped her get over him and I was even there when she broke it off with him. He is toxic. He does drugs, drinks, and is a compulsive liar to everyone. He has even been in jail. I wasn’t even surprised they got back together after my […]

12/13/2015 3 comments

A Never Ending Battle

by indifferentunjust 12/12/2015

written by indifferentunjust

As the days go by, I only feel myself desiring to kill myself more and more. I loathe more, I argue more, I withdraw more. When things go wrong, its the only thought I have. When things go right, I remind myself that it wont last. I hate feeling like no matter what improvements I make, I’m still put down, I’m still living off others, I’m still worthless. When I try, I just find myself exhausted. All that ever brings me relief is to sleep and I think that’s only because its the closest thing I can do to death without actually killing myself. I […]

12/12/2015 1 comment

I’m not dead, if anybody cares.

by thelost 12/11/2015

written by thelost

It’s Hard

It’s hard, nearly impossible, to describe the way one feels when they are with her. It cannot be grasped from a single emotion or moment in time, but comes from knowing her. How when you talk to her, you can be honest, but you cannot be ignorant. Or the little jokes and common things that always seem to be there. A humor with the occasional sadistic twist. Difficulty to make her smile, even in the best of times. Her insistence on making everyone wear a seatbelt in her car, no matter what the distance may be. Something that isn’t quite being cold, but isn’t […]

12/11/2015 2 comments

Broken Inside

by NoMoreHopeLeft 11/18/2015

written by NoMoreHopeLeft

It’s been for some years now. That feeling of loneliness and sorrow.
Since my only best friend I’ve ever had abandoned me, I didn’t find any real friends anymore. I don’t know why, but it seems that I’m just so very different from anyone else in my class and my surrounding. People think I’m strange. They avoid me. If we need to do group work in class everyone will sit happily together with their friends and I, well, I’m just standing there trying desperately to find someone to team up with me but no one hears me.
No one is on my side and helps […]

11/18/2015 2 comments

I want to die

by rainyday 11/17/2015

written by rainyday

I move from time to time from different feelings and emotions. Today I am having another bad day.

I cannot kill myself because I made a promise that I will no hurt me. Because if I do it I will condemn the people I love to pain. Because there is not a method that is not painful. Because trying could bring more pain and no even the death.

I do not want to continue living, life does not make to much sense for me. There are really no difference. Because no matter what this pain will never go away. I do not know how to explain the […]

11/17/2015 9 comments

Can I ask for forgiveness?

by Cro0kedYoung 11/15/2015

written by Cro0kedYoung

Regarding my last post, and the whole tumblr situation. I seem to have lost my two best friends. I’d had these friends (my only friends) for 4, nearing 5 years. They had stuck by me through everything. Following this quarrel with my guy ‘friend’, I seem to have taken my anger out on them, and now they’re gone.

I feel terrible. Nothing could go much worse right about now. The two people in the whole world that could make me happy no matter what had happened are gone. I’ve lost them. I pushed them away. I ruined things for myself.

I have quite literally burned down everything […]

11/15/2015 6 comments

Sick, stupid, society

by wndozh8er 10/28/2015

written by wndozh8er

why does society almost universally try to keep people alive against there will? Don’t they realize that we are all terminal and going to die someday anyway? Don’t they realize that denying someone’s natural right to chose to end there own lives no matter what is a total introchment on that persons individuals right to choose?

Thank about it….a depressed 21 year old person chooses N to end his own life. Let’s say in an alternate reality, he decided to live out the remainder of his life until he died of a massive heart attack at 70. He ended up spending most of his life happy […]

10/28/2015 10 comments

What an empty night

by wndozh8er 10/19/2015

written by wndozh8er

Sorry I haven’t posted here in awhile. It’s October and the autumn leaves are falling and it’s getting cold again. I think seasonal change is bringing back a lot of the trauma from last year due to the environment being similar. I been in West Virginia for 13 months now. I’m alone, empty, and dead inside just like I was this time last year, just like I was this time 10 years ago. No one to hold, no one to share my life with, no hope for the future really.

While I’m still not suicidal, I often wonder if that post psychiatric ward hope was just […]

10/19/2015 3 comments

I want you to see this. My last post.

by aflockofpandas 10/14/2015

written by aflockofpandas

I’m here to tell you guys, it gets easier. If you look at my posts a year and a half ago I was on here pleading for help hoping somehow my parents could see what I was venting you all of you fellow friends who understand what it’s like to be in such a dark place. It gets easier. Things do get better. Although I do know when I was in your position, it felt as if no matter what I read, how happy people pleaded with me to be, I was lost and all I could see was a large dark cloud infront of […]

10/14/2015 5 comments

I’ve always been alone

by Aawesomemizz 10/13/2015

written by Aawesomemizz

You don’t know how much I’ve tried to talk to people about how I feel. My depression is getting worse, no one listens. I wonder what it would be like if I was dead, would I finally be at peace?When I was 14 I was told every thing would be better and I was lied to. I’m 17 and my life is hell. I just need someone to listen to me! School is hell! I feel so alone there.. I get these looks like I’m the ugliest person alive and I feel like shit. I’m cluttered with shit tons of work and I can never […]

10/13/2015 4 comments

Hey guys…

by AskingMyselfWhy 10/13/2015

written by AskingMyselfWhy

I want to start off by saying this is not so much a cry for help as it is more just for someone to listen for once in my life. You know the guy you always hear about with the “so fucked up it belongs on TV” life? The guy who is a struggling drug addict, unmedicated bi-polar, self hating suicidal freak? The guy who’s self-esteem is at absolute zero because no matter what he does or how hard he tries he is never good enough for anyone? Well, in a short description, that guy is me. I’m not proud or happy to tell anyone […]

10/13/2015 1 comment

A cosmic f- you to us

by disgusting 10/10/2015

written by disgusting

I had a great heart to heart talk again with the guy I love last night. It’s never totally serious which is nice. There’s jokes here and there and he does try to be as kind as possible. He says it’s a big cosmic joke, the universe is just fucking with us and saying fuck you both because he just can never feel that way for me or be attracted to me no matter what but I’m the closest person he’s ever had, that we get along the best, and he trusts me more than he’s ever trusted anyone. He started it, I forget what […]

10/10/2015 1 comment

I’m scared to tell him, but I feel that he should know

by depressednihilist95 10/6/2015

written by depressednihilist95

I can’t stop thinking about him. I crushed so hard on him in high school and no matter what, I cannot forget about him. He radiated absolute joy, and no matter what silly or stupid thing I talked about with him, it felt so good. I’m terrified and so saddened that this has happened, or that these suppressed feelings may continue to eat at me. I can’t keep this down, as it always comes back up and I am in tears again. Perhaps it’s stupid, absolutely meaningless and totally irrational, but I can’t deny it, and the fact that I haven’t told him or anyone […]

10/6/2015 4 comments

by TheLoner2 9/27/2015

written by TheLoner2

I know no one one is really listening, but I have no where else to go…………

Well I fucked up again, for the 3 millionth time. I posted something on facebook and I was in my head if you know what I mean. I said something about my family (well my moms side) and it was about money. I said ” november, but being nice enough anymore people are going to treat you like shit no matter what you do especially if you dont have a job even your brothes treat you like shit no matter what you do when it comes to people liking you […]

9/27/2015 19 comments

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