When I apologized to you the other day in case my inquiry had upset you, I had not yet seen your comment. Yesterday I saw it and read it and I felt hurt again even though I know I am not responsible for your hurt, but we are all in this thing together, and I just feel bad and think in the future I must be even more careful about asking people here questions. I cannot seem to find your comment in order to reply to it there, so I am doing it here. Even if we can consider it healing therapy to hurt and cry, I still feel […]
I just spent the whole day at work sittin oan my arse at my desk silently greetin’ to myself. Trying to hide the tears from my boss and getting absolutely nae work done! There really was no point getting out of bed this morning!
I couldn’t take my mind off the abortion, and what’s more the radio kept on debating about it and it’s bloody morality!
It wis a right nightmare o’ a day so now i’m goin tae the shop getting myself some cold beer and drinking the rest ah the day away!
I’m sick fed up o feelin like this i just go from […]
Some time this week, I was planning on cutting my arm really bad and then going to the nurse and counselor about it. What do you guys think would happen? Would they send me straight from school to a psychiatric hospital? Would they just call my parents and have them start taking me to a psychiatrist?
I was a sad little girl. Â 35 years later, I’m a sad little girl who’s been on just about every medication possible. Â They all stop working after a few years.
I’ve never really had a relationship. Â I’m not sure what’s so unappealing. Â Maybe my sadness is more obvious than I think. Â Men don’t even pay attention to me. Â They never have. Â Having cute bubbly friends doesn’t help. Â My mother has nagged me about my weight since high school when I started gaining weight from the antidepressants.
I have a job and an education. Â I live in a rented 2 bedroom house that is much too big […]
So I cut last night after not cutting for a long time. I feel worse for giving in to wanting to cut. I am not a regular cutter or anything, and I don’t want to get addicted to cutting, besides as it is I am going to have to wear long sleeves to work all week.
I’m just drained, tired, and want to quit. I need a therapist and or a really good friend. Probably both. I have a doctor appointment this week and I am going to try and convince myself to own up to my depression so I can get a referral for a […]
you know its intresting.I start to think more about what if i do succede what my death will mean if it actually happens.and a little bit o topic okay ive heard a lot of people saying barbiturates are the only medication that will kill you not you.Ive overdosed a lot in the past when im not cutting or burning or drinking nasal spray.I almost died from the use of sleeping pills and lithium which i was taken off of right after.Now i find there are different types of suicide.Some people i wouldnt consider suicidal cause there just bored with life its not really emotion.Some people […]
I fucking hate my life.My dad came to my meeting today.Which is okay cause im like well if there talking to him i dont have to say shit.The problem is for one the meeting was way to long and ackward.I just wanted to get out of there.Theres going to be a big argument tonight about being hospitalized to test to see what meds im allergic.There on to me about the whole suicide even though i wouldnt dare give them information they could use to lock me up.I dont want to deal with all this at all and i have to suffer through it till after […]
I’m female, 33. Married, 3 kids (b13, g11, g9), 2 dogs..and a cat who thinks he’s god. I’m a childhood abuse survivor. Physical, sexual and emotional.it was done to me, primarily by my mother. Didn’t have any siblings, father wasn’t around. It seems the sexual abuse hurt the most, though I know the emotional is always there as well. It’s that voice in the back of my head telling me that I’m stupid, fat, ugly, lazy, no one wants me, I’ll never amount to anything. I’m worthless, horrible. I’m only good for sex.
I’ve been a full time student since 2009, but had a breakdown this […]
I was told by so many different people that I should kill myself. I’ve been told it since I was little. My dad, kids at school, my friend’s mom, people online I tried to open up to. I’ve been told indirectly that because I’m gay I should kill myself and burn in hell. I’ve been told that everyone hates me. People accuse me of lying for attention when I reveal that I was raped when I was six. I’m an idiot. I always say and do things to make people annoyed with me and hate me. I know they’d all be happier if they didn’t […]
Basically I feel like I want to die most days. Some days I am ok, but I am a very depressed person, I let my depression consume me. I really need some anti-depressants, but I am still waiting for my health insurance to kick-in so I can see a psychiatrist. I believe in God, but I don’t understand why I feel bad enough to want to kill myself. I’ve been thinking about killing myself for years but something always stops me. I don’t think I will actually kill myself, but I have thought about how I would do it.
I am currently living in Philly, […]
you know this world is truely fucked up.I cant wait til my next time to off myself.I came so close to death a couple days and i got scared as hell that i was probably die.Now i realize maybe dying and fear is a natural thing you experience when you die.Theres no way as darkness starts to cover you that you wouldnt want to turn back no matter what you say.Anyway i took twelve sleeping pills and they saved my ass.The psychiatrist is like are you going to be safe to go home and i told her not at the second but in a week […]
My Junior year of high school, i used to perform self harm to myself. I had a lot of boyfriend trouble and my friends had completely stabbed me in the back and I just couldn’t take the humiliation anymore. Cutting became an overwhelming addiction and I couldn’t stop. Eventually my parents caught on to my behavior and one day my father came to me and asked if i wanted to wake up tomorrow and i said no. I was taken to the hospital so that i could immediately talk to psychiatrists about how i was feeling. I figured when i was done I would just […]
Hello all,
I am a 27 year old mentally disabled male that is good for nothing. I grew up in special education services but somehow managed to graduate college with a bachelors degree. My job sucks, i work in an office all day literally staring at my computer like a zombie and cannot hold a conversation with anyone. Everyone at my office knows i’m a disabled fuck and laughs at me. I feel so humiliated walking into that building every day. I have also been battling severe depression over the course of the last 9 years or so and have never had control over my […]
The author’s son, Michael, took his own life in 1969 at the age of 26, after a nearly decade-long struggle with some vaguely defined mental illness. Some of his psychiatrists (referred to not by name but by the appellation “Dr. First” “Dr. Second” “Dr. Third” etc. — there were eight), called it schizophrenia. It looks more like schizoaffective disorder or bipolar to me, but who knows. The point is, in spite of various different […]
I have been battling this depression thing for quite a few months now.
I just dont get what is going in my freaking head!! im so confused.
I am happy for a while, and then suddenly for no reason i get depressed. And then i try diverting my mind off it, by doing something i like, but that doesnt happen. I dont even know if I am making sense right now!!
This damn thing, i just dont know what is going on with me!! I did go to a psychiatrist, but she was no good. She just wrote me pills, which i got addicted to and that is […]
Why don’t they care? Why can’t they see?
For once it’s not about them, for once it’s for me.
I told them my problems, i told them flat out.
they told me i needed to get out of the house.
They think i’m crazy, they think i’m nuts.
They are forcing me to see a Psychiatrist.
i have been doing good in the last three weeks.Now i really dont know what to do.My voices have suddenly come back with a vengance.They were really quiet and i was fine.Hearing them a little is normal.But lately there pretty loud and constant.I wont call anyone theyll just bring the cops.I dont hate cops unless i have too deal with them so i try to stay away.My insanity is increasing day by day. I will possibly end up in the hospital for an attempt.I dont know what else to do two of my therapist are sick one i dont see my main therapist till monday.And […]
I keep having mental and nervous breakdowns over the stupidest things. For one, when ever i think of my job (subway) i wanna break down crying because i hate it so much. Just having the dog pee on my bed will set me off into a huge crying and sobbing episode that will last for hours. I have panic attacks when that happens. I am seeing a psychiatrist and i dont know how to bring up the fact that i think i need xanax or ativan or something because when i have those episodes i become very suicidal. I have bipolar by the way so […]
In October of last year, I was going to hang myself. I was living over six hours away at school. No one I knew there. Grades dropped to an all time low. Before I could do it, my mother withdrew me and brought me home, yelling the most obscene things at me. She knew nothing of my self harm or plans, and she made me feel like worse shit than I am. I went to the local high school again. Things got worse, but also better. I got a girlfriend. A good friend of mine died. So did my grandpa. I can’t bear to outlive […]
Five years ago I lost the best job I ever had.  I worked there for 18 years and just like that I was out. I can’t let go of the past. I think about that job everyday. Random events remind me of that job and it makes me cry. I don’t know what to do with myself. I really need help but I don’t know how to get it. I see a psychiatrist once a week but he’s nothing more than a pill pusher. What I need is someone to talk to – really talk to. Someone who can help me put my life in […]