i remember when life was fun, it was exciting and adventurous. i remember as a little girl, sitting in class dreaming of growing up and travelling the world. i remember dreaming of the places i would go, and the things i would do. i remember dreaming of my career, and the love of my life. but now, i sit here in year 11. life seems to have gone so quickly, i walk through the hallways at school as a  nobody. invisible and unseen. bad thoughts running through my head, constantly. life seems to be a burden now, a task, something i must endure. yet no […]
I came here today to search some posts in hopes of obtaining an easy, painless, peaceful way to leave this life. I read many similar posts and I too can’t seem to keep my depression in check. Sadly it DOES effect every other part of your life. I manage to ruin or push away any good thing in my life. Each time I try harder to gain control of my emotions and depression it only seems to end even worse. I have lost count of the jobs I have walked away from in a huff, friends I have lost due to being overly sensitive and family […]
So I’m know I’m not the only one who is actively wishing and hoping that my life turns around soon and I magically become happy, or simply find a few real world (offline) friends to ease the feelings of loneliness….and yet while waiting for this to happen, wouldn’t mind if my life would just end.
I do not want to “commit suicide” though, because I know the pain this causes from family experience and I don’t want my family to know I was selfish enough to do that to them. Â But drugs – well an accidental overdose isn’t QUITE the same. If I overdose on pills, […]
I stayed away from Collin for a day. He told me to call and sure enough I did. What happened? He let it go to voicemail, he was testing me to see if I was still there. Possibly sitting around for him when I was not.
I am slowly slipping away from the real world and wanting this all to be a fantasy. I want to be loved but you can never force someone to love you or that will push them farther away. Men like Collin just want to know that no matter what, someone will always be there to catch them when they fall, but when it is your […]
I come here tonight to freely express my feelings and thoughts without the fear of being judged and with the hope that someone out there may understand. Okay ….let’s be honest, there’s still a shit load of fear, but I say fuck it.
I’m still having quite a rough time. My depression is weighing heavy in my head. Can barely lift it up. My isolation is at an all time high. The majority of my  “friends” are occupied anyway. I don’t feel like I have any true friends. But I’m sure my isolation had a big part in that. I just have no drive. I’m afraid […]
I stumbled upon the Project while looking for ways to make the End look like it wasn’t planned. Â It’s only made me more sad to see that there are so many people that feel similar to me. Â It’s beautiful though, to see so many likeminded folks listening, and offering support to those that can’t find it in the real world. Â I’m thankful the trolls haven’t embedded themselves yet.
I’m 30 in June, which makes me old in my mind. Â My 20’s have come and gone, leaving only confusion, amazement, and disappointment. Â I’m more successful now than I once thought I would be, but nowhere near where […]
I wont even know how to describe it. All those ways how I was acting made me feel extremely embarassed about myself. I thought I was missing out on a lot, and I tried to catch up. But instead I was making a fool out of myself. After we stopped talking, I tried to fit in, but it would only lead me to feeling more embarassed. I never cared about the future, but now I pretty much began disregarding the flow of time. It became scary for me to leave the house. I was getting progressively depressed and anxious. I tried therapy, but I never […]
On this website I have enjoyed reading what so many of you bravely share. Frankly, many of you seem smarter than the folks that I encounter in real life. You are deep thinkers, well read and probably smarter than me. I’m afraid to ask anyone in the real world. But I’m curious about what you think.
So, here goes: does the World3 simulator seem realistic in it’s forecast of trends? Sometimes I wonder if World3 explains our depression (maybe deep down […]
The real world isn’t rainbows and sparkles.
It’s not always fun and rarely easy.
Honestly its far from easy or fun.
It’s cruel and brutal,
Cold and heartless,
Unforgiving and dark,
Depressing and awful,
Bitchy and duechey,
Pointless and crazy,
And so are the people in the fucked up world.
Its full of the terrible people,
people that feed off your pain,
they will do anything to make you suffer.
People are vile and cruel.
They will do anything to make you miserable.
Some days they are going to win,
but some day they will lose and you will realize how strong you are.
I often fantasize about being stranded on a tropical island, completely isolated. I don’t care how I get there, and I don’t care the state I am when I finally arrive. But it would be nice, for once, to be completely alone in a beautiful place and not have to worry about media, or politics, or finances, or love. Just live with nature and forget about everything that happened in the “real world”.
I’m pretty adapted to nature. I know how to start a fire with a couple rocks, or two stick, or a bunch of dried grass, a couple of splintered sticks, and a piece […]
Lyrics to song I pretty much jus stayed up all night writing..
Oh and uh.. *All Rights Reserved*? haha.
* Rapped
When was the last time you breathed?
I mean honestly, fully, whole heartedly took a breath?
When was the last time you took a stand?
I mean verbally, viciously, fought for something you believed?
When was the last time you fell in love?
Fell so hard, you found yourself unwilling to even get up?
When was the last time you truly cared?
Thought about somebody else, not the person in the mirror
Self-centered, self-ish, but sophisicated
We pride ourselves in all the wars and the domination
But what’s the point in killing other beings created
Like ourselves? We’re just […]
About three years ago is when I first felt unhappy. I was in high school, had a girlfriend, was president of the film club, but I wasn’t happy. I just felt like there had to be more to life and that going away to college the next year would really open my eyes to the wonder and power off the “real world.” So I moved as far away from home as I could, to Colorado. At college I got into the drug scene really quick, I managed to stay away from most of the hard stuff but a lot of my new found and still […]
Ever had those moments where you wish something never happened or regretted something bad you really did, and you wish you could start over and erase those past mistakes? I don’t mean to sound like a *****, but it will never happen. I nearly fail to realize it every day and I still think about all the bad things I did and about the times where I screwed up, and never realized the effect it will have on me in the future. Those bad memories and mistakes come back to haunt me everyday, and I feel sad and I always have a burning desire to […]
Sitting there alone, on a bitterly cold night. The icy air, causing little bumps on the back of her neck. She sat there, smoking the real world away. Falling further and further from reality. Each breathe filled with smoke. But her mind numbing. Forgetting. Falling. Each exhale of smoke dancing through the air. Swirling and twirling til it disappeared.
i tell her that i need to go to a different school, a school where there are only a few people so if anything only those few could pick on me. but she won’t let me leave this one. she says life is full of obstacles and people who won’t like you and people who you won’t like either. stay in this school so you’re prepared. well hey, does the “real world” consist of nobody liking you? does the “real world” consist of thoughts of suicide? does the “real world” push you to the fucking edge? did you try to kill yourself because the “real world” ended up just like school?
Right now, things seem to be getting better. I’m able to go on without my razor as much, I can enjoy music like I used to, laugh purely because I want to, not feel that pain that can’t be explained somewhere within my heart…
But that will all change when school starts again. When I have to rejoin the real world, and see it for what it is. When it presses itself against my face – when reality comes back to wake me from my dreamworld that I created to protect myself – It will all be as it were. I’ll be cutting again, empty, emotionless […]
This isn’t my first post here…But whenever I post something on this site, I feel like how I constantly feel when I do something like this in the real world – that I’m saying things that no-one wants to listen to, bothering people with my problems when nobody gives a damn. It’s been that way for a long time. Whenever I vent and rant, people just never cared. All they wanted me to do was to shut up and get on with my life, without giving a damn about what my problems were. That, mixed with the near-physical discomfort I feel when I cause someone […]
In 2002, I was in 8th grade, and that was the first time I started thinking about killing myself. It’s also when I started hurting myself. Things got a little better in high school, so I was just self mutilating day-to-day. Then as a senior in December of 2006 I ate a shit ton of aspirin, and ended up in the hospital after my first real suicide attempt. My favorite part was when I got home and my step mom asked me if I was ‘stupid or something’, because ‘everyone knows’ that aspirin is a blood thinner and actually makes you more jittery and awake, […]
since i’m already here might as well vent out a little bit. maybe some input may give me a bit more perspective instead of using the option of death to calm me down.
turned 24 last month, introverted, depressed for the past 10 years or so, finding it difficult fitting in the modern world and i find it difficult to connect with people and a deeper level. i feel so detached from everything and everyone. i’m more often than not, isolated from the “real” world and watching other people live their lives to the fullest is making me wonder why i can’t do the same thing. […]
I found this via the links SuicideProject has on the right… And I beLIEve it is worthy of consideration, since our suicidal minds are already preoccupied with real world experience/ multimedia amusement/ wtf worry/ lack of sleep/ cognitive issues/ etcetera… Though, really, who else gets us besides maybe two people irl if we’re lucky? Read if you dare.
http://psychcentral.com/news/2012/10/10/social-anxiety-can-fuel-compulsive-internet-use/45844.html