I hate my life. I’m a minor and that means I obviously have to live with my parents. I’m a girl and have 3 disgusting brothers. The only thing I have for myself is my brains which I got from my mother. She’s mean sometimes but she’s the only one I actually truly love in this nightmare of a household. My dad and I had a fight about 2-3 months ago and he hasn’t talked to me since. He’s a fucking stupid middle aged man and an ego the size of a fucking blue whale. I hate him so much, his standards for me are […]
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Siblings
Right now… blade in one hand & the other religious text… wtf?! Am I crazy?!
written by beautifulmonster
why can’t anyone ever help me? I’m sitting here with a razor googling how to correctly slit my throat. Yes it’s gruesome but I want them, my family, cousins, ex friends to see that I’m not lying. My depression has a hold on me. They all say get over it. Stop faking it. Stop saying your going to kill yourself. So my previous attempts were what?! Bullshit?!?!
I haven’t showered in weeks. I’m 45 kilos. Not to be stuck up but I’m pretty and naturally blessed with my body. Now… I can’t get up and shower.. I stink. My face is hollow. They say shower seriously, […]
Dear all,
Some of you may have communicated with my brother here. His username was “Noom”. On April the 19th 2013 he drove to a secluded place and carried out his suicide via helium.
I love my brother and accepted his decision, but I’m here to give you an insight into the lives of those who have lost someone special who they love unconditionally to the tragedy you all so casually discuss.
I was married for four years – my wife couldn’t handle it and left a month after my brother died. I have spent months on end contemplating suicide and trying to cope with anti-depressants while doing my […]
Today in class we were doing an activity, we had to draw our family tree and discuss the interesting things about our family. And of course, you can guess already, it is the worst thing for someone as broken as me.
Others talked about their siblings, about what their parents do, their grandparents. Me? What is the interesting thing of my family? My grandmother attempted suicide, my father is dead, I do not regard my mother, I dont know where my cousin is brought away by her stepmother.
And people are so stupid. All of them. I hate everyone.
I feel […]
Writing helps calm me down.
I don’t know why, but it does.
I’m writing right now, because I’m under severe stress.
They’re still fighting as I’m writing this lol
Well guys, let me tell you my story :v
I mean if you bother even to read it haha
Well, my Dad’s a gambler. he lost all the money in the household and now we’re broke. Like BA-ROKE.
My mom’s suicidal. She always tells me how she just wants to stop living and attempted suicide multiples of times infront of me, and my siblings.
Well, me, I’m just a kid going through highschool
I have a little brother […]
People say it’s life, and that whatever life throws at you, take it with ease. But then, they freak out when things do not go their way. I’m refering to my mum here, and others I have known, do the exact same thing, and it bothers me to no end. I mean, I’m not perfect, not perfect at all, but when life throws me curve balls, I try to take it. I won’t always say that I do well, but I try.
Another thing I’d like to mention is love and relationships here. I have seen the way my mum and dad treat each other. […]
Ive struggled with depression and anxiety for four years now. I know of people who have had to fight their battle for way longer than that. My friends and the people on the internet say that recovery is possible. They say hold on to hope, look at the brighter side of life, think about your future. What happens when i do all that and more, but still want to die? Even at my happiest, i have that gnawing feeling of hatred for life in the back of my head. I know suicide shouldnt be an option. I know i have a lot to live for. […]
My mother hates me. I dont know why she does, I have four siblings and she nevertalks to them the way she does me. She’s always looking fr something to shout at me for. I lost count of how many times she’s told me to go kill my self or how she wishes that one morning she’d wake up and find me dead. I’ve no one to talk to and it hurts. Growing up all I knew was abuse from my mom and brother she hit me with text books for getting wrong answers when I was 6 years old. When we would go out […]
Actually I have a lot of big problems. But the one that has been bothering me a lot lately is being alone. I moved states and I live by myself. I don’t have my parents or my siblings around or anything. My next roommate doesn’t move in for a few months. My boyfriend will stay the night with me most nights but he won’t come until around 9 or 10 pm. And I’m not doing anything. So I sit around all day and do nothing. I just wait for him to get here and I hate it. I don’t make friends very well so it’s […]
I’ve been thinking about dying a lot. For some reason that makes me feel better. Things haven’t been good lately. My life is really pleasant on the surface, I’m doing the things I want to do and have a mostly supportive family. But then I have horrible self-esteem and I just end up in the worst situations and it’s really my own fault.
I am really devastated over this thing that happened recently with my boyfriend. I was away for a few months, volunteering at a school in a really remote place and making a documentary, and while I was gone he cheated on me. I […]
It’s been 5 months since the horrible break up with my almost fiance and I felt like I was finally ready to give relationships another try. This guy has been great to me through the past year and we’re like siblings. We decided to take it to the next level.
That was three weeks ago. He was so sweet and amazing before, but now suddenly his family is too busy for him to make time for me and he wont let me visit. He dumped me with the stupid  “you’re too good for me” line. He knew how much he meant to me. He was the […]
I’m not sure how to say this, I’ve never posted on something like this before. But I quit.
I’m turning 18 in almost 2 weeks, but I don’t think I’ll last that long. I’m depressed, I have been for a while, but instead of accepting that and finding a way to cope with it, my dad is ignoring it. I really noticed it after my mom passed away a year and a half ago. Granted, it’s normal to be sadder than usual during that time, I realize this. To try and cheer up, I tried looking back at the time before we learned she had cancer, […]
I have two sisters who have attempted suicide (by overdose) multiple times. Â At the moment I am lacking much feeling, but am not particularly depressed or anxious. Â There isn’t much that makes life worth living, but nothing to induce me to death. Â It’s a big change for me. Â I’ve been depressed and anxious for many years, but I always felt like I had a purpose in life, even if I didn’t know what it was. Â Right now I don’t feel that way. Â I know that if I wait long enough my mental state will change. Â It always does. Â But then it will change again after […]
Wanna commit suicide? Imagine this.
You come home from school one day. You’ve had yet another horrible experience. You were bullied, teased, etc. You go to get your blades, pills, rope, anything. You go get that suicide note that you wrote forever ago. You thought you would never use it. So did everyone else. You cut yourself so deep. The blood won’t stop. You take 5 extra pills. You tie the rope around your neck. You tie it to the ceiling fan. You’re dead. There’s no going back. Your parents get home from work, your siblings home from school. They call your name like a normal […]
So before I start talking, I guess I’ll say a small bit about my self. I’m 15, a freshman in high school, going toward sophomore after the summer goes by like always. I’ll keep my name anon. though.
But anyways, I’ve been depressed. As a child I had a abusive father, my mother could never do anything about him hitting me or my siblings. He used to come home drunk, pretty much rape my mother and rampage when thing didn’t go his way. My brother used to touch me as a child, him being gay. I’ve never told my mother, I just forgotten about it and […]
On July 26, 2013, I will be sad, depressed, and all kinds of crap will be going on in my mind. Why? That day will mark the 3rd year that I lost my father to suicide.
My father was the most kindest mad you would have ever met. He would give his shirt off his back to a stranger. He use to tell me and my siblings and friends that “there is nothing wrong with being yourself.”
How can a man with such a big heart want to end all of that? And where was I when it happened?
I was about to take my last exam of […]
I’m going to try and give my story the best way I can. I haven’t been on this Earth for a very long time, and I’ve been plagued by problems (but not as much compared to come of the posts I’ve read on here). I started having suicidal thoughts when I was about 10, and I’ve had them ever since. I started having them because I was being bullied very badly at school. My Mother (who is going to appear many times in this story), also picked on me but not as bad. Fast forward 2 years from then, I started getting homeschooled, and my […]
Well, I’m a newcomer. I’ve read, and commented on a couple of posts and I’m actually kind of…well…not ‘happy’ that I found this site but, more intrigued. I’m 14, 10th grade, and I’ve already found my depression. Even when I get out of it and go to my ‘happy music’ (which is basically rave and happy hardcore), I find myself slowly slipping back into the dark emo cutting phase. and don’t get mad at the word emo. It’s how I describe myself. I have a wonderful boyfriend, great friends who are there for me, but I just don’t know what it is that pulls me […]
I’m 15 and sad. I know these dark thoughts are bad and I should get help but I honestly don’t want to depend on anyone for my weakness. I don’t know whether im depressed or just sad… all I know is that I feel empty and really dark all the time. I don’t remember when this all started and I don’t know when im getting better. I have self-harmed before and I still do. I remember the first time I took a blade to my wrist I was only 12. At an age like that I should have been happy and going out playing in the sun. […]
It was only the first time.
I spun the blade around in my hands
contemplating if I should really do this or not.
I heard my mom yell.
Yes, I should, It’s worth it.
The blade sank into my arm,
cutting across my arm.
Not too deep.
It was only the second time.
The kids at school were bullies.
My parents just got mad.
I took the blade in my hands.
I didn’t even think about it.
I pushed it into my arm,
cutting across parallel to the last one,
A little deeper.
It was at least the 50th time.
I didn’t even have different reasons anymore.
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