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Am I not good enough?

by Caralynne 5/24/2016

written by Caralynne

Why do you cause me pain?

why do nothing when I cry?
Why do you break my heart?
Am I not good enough for you?

I search for you throughout my day, I work hard so I can come home to see you, I strive for your love but you don’t see, you don’t care, you just yell, I finally have the courage to tell you what I’m feeling and you scream at me an to what I feel, I get thrown back down, then you get angry because I don’t tell you what’s wrong. You say you struggle everyday but when I say, you yell at […]

5/24/2016 1 comment

Medication and Depression

by JiminyCrispies 5/22/2016

written by JiminyCrispies

My psychiatrist wanted to up my medication. I refused. So, instead of letting it go, my psychiatrist is giving me some time to think about it. I haven’t been taking it still, but my Mum’s getting my prescription tomorrow and making me restart it again.

I have just under 2 months to decided whether I want to up the dosage or not. Honestly, I can feel myself getting worse each day. My depression is getting bad again, and all I want to do is just give up.

The voices are getting too much, and I can’t tell anyone. There’s no point telling my family because they can’t […]

5/22/2016 1 comment

Amazons

by Zetsumei 5/13/2016

written by Zetsumei

I’m watching a tokusatsu or a Japanese superhero mini-series about these creatures called Amazons. The Amazons need to eat protein to stay alive but after a period of time, they lose control and start to consume all sources of protein… It is sort of like Tokyo Ghoul in a few ways.

I feel like an Amazon on the verge of going berserk right now… I want to devour others… So…

Can I devour anyone here?

5/13/2016 13 comments

I Really Am an Awful Person

by Zetsumei 5/2/2016

written by Zetsumei

My urges to kill are getting worse along with my apathy. So, I picked one of the worst days to escape. Yet, I find it amusing in a sadistic sort of way. For my sins, burning in Hell is a fate far too kind for me. I’m a monster… And I’m okay with that.

5/2/2016 5 comments

Protected: Quote that’s relevant.

by whiskered-fish 4/30/2016

written by whiskered-fish

There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.

4/30/2016 9 comments

“You’ll Never Know What Hit You”

by Cordless 4/29/2016

written by Cordless

I don’t know how many of you are Star Trek DS9 fans, but this scene is both dark AND humorous. It reminds me of SP, sort of. 😉

4/29/2016 21 comments

Emotional And Financial Leeches

by HakunaMatata 4/18/2016

written by HakunaMatata

Malicious neighbour who always try to put us down and got away with their petty revenge in the past threaten to sue my family over our car Back Up Alarm. They mock and taunt us that my family can get a heavy fine, arrested, and owe them compensation money in return. The worst case scenario is that we live in between them and their in-law family down the street who kids are just as bad. They are like ping pong balls bouncing back and forth leaving the mess behind on our driveway.

Basically, they have been openly overconfident and obnoxious ever since they snapped […]

4/18/2016 0 comment

Protected: It takes two to torture.

by whiskered-fish 4/6/2016

written by whiskered-fish

There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.

4/6/2016 13 comments

Comfort in similarities?

by badcat 4/5/2016

written by badcat

You hear all the time how people find comfort in finding others that are going through the same thing as them. I don’t. To me it makes me loose hope that there’s and end to this crap going on in my head.

There are sooooo many people with at least some sort of depression or mental health issues it seems like that’s just the way it is. That’s being human. I think it’s totally unacceptable for a race (as in human race) to have that as a norm. It also kills all hope to be free of it.

I’m just supposed to accept it because everyone else […]

4/5/2016 8 comments

Constant change + fear of change = constant fear

by dividebyzero 4/1/2016

written by dividebyzero

Constant change is pretty much inevitable in life. I’ve always been really afraid of change. Therefore, constant fear seems pretty much inevitable in life. That’s one of the reasons I often feel so hopeless.

You’d think I’d have nothing to lose making a change now, given how miserable I’ve been for the past two years. Nope. I have to prepare myself for the worst, so that just in case the worst happens I won’t have some sort of breakdown. I start thinking that maybe my life now isn’t so terrible, which normally would be a good thing, except that I know as soon as the fear […]

4/1/2016 2 comments

Just more ramblings of a depressed and hysterical suicidal girl

by sherlame 3/29/2016

written by sherlame

Do I have to spend my life trying to try? Trying to fix things? No. Wrong question. But yes, being alive is being hopeful. Hopeful? Even though life eats you up all the way from the inside before it even begins to show on the outside. I’m talking about the scars you have from letting blood, because that makes sense; you cut yourself and blood escapes the crease that separates what binds the skin together.

Nor the bags under your eyes caused from endless sleepless nights or disturbed sleep caused by misread and confounding dreams that make you want to avoid sleep, one of the only […]

3/29/2016 2 comments

users

by Alan Ominous 3/23/2016

written by Alan Ominous

I made a poem? I guess it is… maybe, anyways, I tried using usernames, it sort of makes sense, anyways, here it is.

Don’t call me cordless,
Got a rope around my neck,
Strung up between totrees,
Looking sad like a whiskered-fish,

Rocketman blast off into,
An alternate reality of sorts,
Deadman living in a simulation,
Some kind of mindless gamer,
Seeking a performance death,
GT suicide is bliss.

A mysterious visitor alone,
Like a phantom citizens drowning,
Under hazy day sunflowers
Desperately needing money-
Penny is all I found.

Under the dark willow,
Lonely roses will grow,
They’re all dead inside-
59,
Or 3 of 6
In remembrance […]

3/23/2016 55 comments

The monster behind the loser

by blank-clutter 3/21/2016

written by blank-clutter

Idk if this is the way I have always been or that this is the way I have become. I have so little to offer the world, so little skill or ability which in many ways makes me a worthless loser.

that wouldn’t be bad if I wasn’t such a monster inside. As the feeling of helplessness build coupled with lack of connection, and on top of that people acting towards me like I’m some sort of a freak, it created/encouraged the monster within.

It was the copping mechanism which has further ruined my life. As the problems were put off to a later age, the monster […]

3/21/2016 0 comment

Tormented

by Rotted_Flesh 3/17/2016

written by Rotted_Flesh

Had another one of those bizarre dreams; that kind where you imagine someone is laying down right next to you. It was my ex lover, that person I had so much to say to before our relationship crumbled but never did and will never get the chance to do so. Maybe that’s why I dream about her so much, I think we both felt there was something left we could’ve held onto. So now here I am dreaming about the good times we had.. holding her, kissing he passionately, so many memories of our souls connecting as one.. also it’s funny, how much I hate […]

3/17/2016 2 comments

Afterlife.

by Midnightcrisis 3/16/2016

written by Midnightcrisis

Heaven’s a possibility.
So is hell.
And so is reincarnation.
So is blackness, and so is every other theory that could be considered a theory.
When people talk about the afterlife, they tend to assume things, but what’s the point? We don’t know anything about the afterlife. The chances that heaven exists are equal to the chances that we’ll come back as Ikea employees. Just because the heaven theory is more popular, doesn’t mean it’s more right.
If you flip a fair coin a thousand times, and it always lands on heads, that doesn’t make the chances of it landing on tails any less likely. […]

3/16/2016 18 comments

I’m not dead yet -_-

by shatterediris 3/15/2016

written by shatterediris

I know that I haven’t been around for awhile…… I’m still alive 🙁 and no I’m not implying that I have attempted to change that…… Meh school things have been fairly stressful, and in addition to getting “help” most of my free time has been spent in bed. I’ve sort of been hanging out with people recently, I think I can call them friends, not certain though. Failing school and stuffs as always, my professors hate me because I am a failure who doesn’t take the classes that they teach seriously and I am simply wasting their time. My “friends” have also all mostly started […]

3/15/2016 1 comment

Almost Trapped

by Resentment 3/13/2016

written by Resentment

Physically trapped, I mean. In many ways I still feel trapped, but I digress.

I took time out of work for my urethritis pain. I couldn’t take it anymore, and I told my higher up everything, from chlamydia back in the start of 2014, to now just having this pain. She was very understanding, and suggested I go to Doctors Express. I did.

From there, I again told this doctor everything, but perhaps unsurprisingly she wasnt being all that helpful. Id pee in a cup again, I’d hear Im all clear, I know the drill. I began feeling frusterated, disparaging my eurologists office, and how it’s so […]

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3/13/2016 2 comments

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I slept so strangely last night.

by Wintergirl 3/8/2016

written by Wintergirl

It was one of these surreal sleeps I have. I am dreaming but in my dream it’s like I am awake. I can’t move or talk. I almost wonder if I had a seizure. I eventually wake up really out of it and it takes a while for me to get back to sleep. There are always some sort of vibrations, this time it was violent chills in my arms. I guess I would call it a vivid dream. I have probably had 4 or 5 of these that I actually remember. All within the past 20 years. They always scare me. Mainly because I […]

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3/8/2016 8 comments

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Testing The Waters

by Cordless 3/1/2016

written by Cordless

http://suicideproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/testing-waters-mp3.mp3

.
Thank you to everyone who took some time to comment on my post last night. I was in a dark rotten place. (As you can see if you read through the comments.) I’m still there, to be honest, but at least I’m still able to write about it.

Here’s the music I mentioned. (Headphones recommended so the bass can come through better).

I wrote it in just a few hours, to distract myself from not being able to get online. For me, when I’m stuck here in bed at home, not being able to get online is a big deal, because it sort […]

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3/1/2016 57 comments

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For Sportsnut

by Kaylee_Bush 2/24/2016

written by Kaylee_Bush

I made this thread so it would be easier to follow.

To one up you from last night:

Oh, well, hello fairy Miranda. She is a bit flirty and sexy, isn’t she? Oh, I’ve got wings. Not in the feminine hygiene way, sort of slutty moth, you know.

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2/24/2016 23 comments

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