My story starts in 2010. After a picture of me in underwear ends on internet and all my small city call me a whore all my “friends” started to stay away from me, because “no one wants do be friends with such a slut”, they said. The people I know started to ignore everything I was, all my qualities, and started to judge me just because that stupid pic. I was only 14. I suffered bullying, I had no friend. I couldn’t talk about this with my parents because I was afraid to let them down and ashamed for what I’ve done. So, I don’t […]
Tag:
Suffering
Hey, all. Sincerely hope you’re doing well. Er — as well as can be, given that we’re all in a suicide forum.
I guess I’ll get right to the point: One of my major fears is poverty. I live in a Third World country, and I see it every day. The lack of healthcare, the people living in the streets, the laborers breaking their backs every day and making f*ck-all. Shamefully, I’m more concerned about not falling in with them than actually helping; there’s just too damn many people in need. Sigh, yet another reason to just catch the bus, if only I weren’t so cowardly. […]
I’m gonna level with you, all of you strangers. I don’t know you but, the suicide project is our connecting element.
I want to kill myself, if only I could shut off my brain long enough to do it. I feel most comfortable when seeing my own blood seep out of my skin after cutting, or the pale sting after branding my skin. -not normal, I know- but my dad died about a decade ago and I feel the loss of him most keenly. the marks show me how long.. maybe in a few shots I’ll forget my pain. the scars from my before mentioned pain […]
Just a few things on my mind and I may seem harsh but reading some of these comments are making me ill. Your all encouraging each other to take your life’s? Giving each other options for easy ways out? I have been in the exact same situation as many of you&it does get better. We don’t need to encourage each other to take the easy way out. We need to be sharing some fucking hope! So if I come across as harsh, it’s because I generally care.
First of all, I don’t give a shit what anyone says; There is no reason why you should take […]
May be triggering, but need help
so I am 14 going on 15 and i was adopted when I was 2 from ukraine (I was born premature, and then was dumped on the street by my mom when I was a month old) I was brought to the states and then my mom and dad started to abuse me. Physically at first and then when I was 5 my dad started sexually abusing me and my brother started when I was 8. This is continuing to this day. For about the past 3 years I have been suffering from ptsd and has had multiple suicide […]
I’m Kat, I’m 19, I’ve suffered from psychotic depression and severe anxiety for 7 years. I’ve had a really rough upbringing, my father OD’d and disowned me when I was 15, I’ve had hallucinations and delusions since I was 3. Self harmed between ages 13 – 17. Suffered chronic joint pain since I was probably around 9. Have been on several medications. Dropped out of high school at 15. Been homeless. Been mentally and verbally abused by several people. Forced into consenting to sex. SO much. So much about my life fucking sucked.
March 13, 2014.
My boyfriend and I split up, I don’t know why. […]
Some people turn to physical self harm. Mostly this works for them. Mostly it works for me. I mean, it used to.
I’ve gotten better at this self torture thing. I don’t even need the physical aspect of it anymore. I don’t have to hide palpable injuries now.
Instead I have my mind. I can bring my mistakes and pains up to the surface faster than a blink of my eye. I know it all better than I know the palm of my hand.
Because really, I don’t even know the palm of my hand anymore.
In my previous post (my first) I gave my whole story. And…I know I’m committing suicide by overdose. It’s just, the timing is the question. Well…I’m at a family friends house watching their pets while their away for a while. And last night I was in their master bathroom looking for nail clippers because part of my nail got ripped off and I needed to trim it down. In this search I found vials of severe pain medication. One of the vials was opened and some taken out of it. I tried to fight my internal demons, and won…for only a few hours. I used 5 units, or roughly 1/10th of […]
People think because of the house i live in, the way i act. “MY HAPPIESS” that when people see the cuts and scars that its all bullshxt. I can’t explain in a way they understand. Why would the Lord let me, us suffer like this? if hes there ..
Do i like to cut? maybe .. Does it hurt? no.. It’s like people addicted to something, they feel numb. No pain. Just the relief. That’s cutting for me.. I makes all the pain go away. But, that’s okay.
Maybe one day people will understand, sike .. xD They never will. I’ll just keep it to myself and […]
Hi I’m a 15-year-old girl and was very suicidal nearly the whole last year but I got over it and I want to tell my story to help those people who feel like I did some time ago.
It all started at primary school with some guys in my class bullying me. The bullying went on for almost 10 years in every class and school I went to because some of that bullies always where in the same class. Over that long time I became very insecure and also depressed. Depression really started when I was 12 or 13 and I started cutting and burning myself […]
Hello everyone who’s reading and thank you for taking the time. My name Blargyness, which is obviously pen name, I’m 25 from Manila, Philippines. I’ve been suffering depression since I was 16 so give or take 9 years. When I was 16 i first committed suicide and I think I never recovered. I have a psychiatrist but lately I feel my end is nearing…
I do not have the most understanding people around me about my condition. Depression is not something really “real” here in the Philippines. Well save one person, my boyfriend. I am trying so hard not to give in. I said and […]
Can someone please help me end this? This is ridiculous.
For me to have the strength to end it all, i would have to have some motivation. If I had any motivation to do anything, I would cling to it. I would survive.
At this very moment, though, I only have the precious remnants of it. I’m drunk, so there’s some dopamine or some other shit in my system letting me be enough of a human to write this. Letting me be a man. A man which is strong enough to send a hopeless and desperate cry for help.
I work 50 hours a week and I give […]
Death by chance.
She had always thought her life was perfect up until perfect became too much. She had a beautiful family and made friends so easily, she was good at school work and got guys easily, she thought life would always be this easy, sounds great right? Well that’s what she told people. Little did she know life was deceiving her the whole time, her life that she thought was perfect wasn’t as good as she thought, infact She got bullied every year of her primary school life, changed friendship groups every year, never had a true bestfriend until year 7. She didn’t have such […]
I have been dealing with suicidal depression for over a year now. I’m 18 I no longer live at home due to some family issues and am currently living with my sister who I split rent with. I have a full time job as a cashier, I go to college, and overall am a very busy person. I am actually adopted from a family of drug addicts. My birth dad left my mother when I was born and she did some drugs while pregnant. This caused me to have a form of high functioning Autism called Aspergers (AD) syndrome, ADHD, and OCD. Some of the […]
I try to be open about my depression but as soon as I say anything about suicide it’s like they stick their fingers in their ears and pretend they didn’t hear me.
I reached a point where all the reasons to leave this world are strongest that the ones to stay. Something brokes in me, I can’t feel anything but hate, and this hate is slowly killing me from the inside, so I’m starting to wonder why shouldn’t I end this myself.
I don’t know what to do. All I asked was love but in my life, I’ve just known the wrong side of it. I was the one who was loving, never the one loved. And a lot of time, I thought that it will be it, that the nightmares will finally end but only false hope […]
Well, the title pretty much says it… I plan on saving up my money to get a gun and end it… maybe even take some pain killers while I’m at it so I don’t feel anymore pain as I pull the trigger…
I’m just sick of everything, I’ve been trying for years to keep going, to find reasons to keep going but, I haven’t had any reason to live in my entire life. No one wants me around, no one would ever miss me… and I’ve been told I should just live for myself but, I’m not like that… I’m not selfish, I can’t even […]
I’m still debating. If I want to go through with it or not. I’ve been thinking about it all morning, all night, these past few days and the different ways to go about it. What are the easiest ways, the painful, the painless, the long, etc. Actually if I go through with it, I don’t mind if I survive. I’m the kind of person who while (at least until now) I haven’t tried to commit suicide deliberately, I don’t care if it happens when trying to injure myself (aka I’m trying to hurt myself really badly not die, but if I die in the process […]
Reasons to ‘opt out’ : no one wants me, no one needs me, I have no purpose, I am hated by my family, every father figure I’ve ever had knew I have to be erased, I’ll never belong anywhere, No one will miss me, I don’t deserve to be called nor classified as human, I don’t deserve to exist, and nothing I do is ever good enough.
Reasons to ‘carry on’ : foolish hope that my poems might get noticed(HIGHLY UNLIKELY!!!) and fear that my 175 poems might get stolen(and that no one will care)
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I should just do the world a favor already and […]
Apparently, I am so easily triggered to become depressed about my appearance by seeing pictures of attractive girls.
It’s probably stupid to you, I know, weird
It makes me so upset about myself…..I already hate myself. I don’t need to self harm; there is no positive usage to self harm, but I do it anyway…I feel like I deserve it though…for not being pretty enough, not smart enough, not good enough to live…I’m just a waste of space.
I would kill myself right now, but the fear of dying circles around me, mocking me and laughing at my tragedy.
My whole life has been a living heel since I […]