I’m a fifteen year old girl in the 10th grade and I have never felt so miserable in my entire life. I’m tired of being that optimistic girl that fakes a smile for the sake of everyone else. Most of my friends know about my depression but they think I’m okay at the moment. Last night I was almost positive I wanted to die, but instead of acting on the instinct to kill myself, I just lied in bed shaking and crying. I could never tell my mom that I feel like I want to die sometimes because it would either break her heart or […]
Tag:
Suicide
I guess I should start with a statement of “I know that I”m a really lucky person, and life, while not perfect, had been nice to me.” I am born in a really developed country, and have so many benefits that many other countries doesn’t have. I am gifted and loved by god in many ways (learned how to read a language through watching TV, drawings that had won numerous awards and got me a 60,000 scholarship money, performed dance for the Winter Olympics, top three in my school, an hourglass figure, decent face, and healthy body with no mutations…etc.) But I don’t see a […]
so this site edited my last post, kind of pissed me off…but anyway..
Im here, somehow. I almost went to the mental hospital again, but my psych just increased one of my meds. Do i still think of suicide? Yes. Do i want to do it? Im not sure.
I think about it all the time…but im scared.
I do honestly feel thought that i have spent enough time here on this earth. I dont want to live everyday a mentally ill wreck.
I wrote a few notes already, but ive tucked them away. I just sob until i fall asleep.
Theres two things that can happen to me at […]
I’m pathetic. I can’t believe I’m doing this. I doubt anyone will ever read this, but if so, I just want to know…
…Currently I’m going through a state of pure isolation and depression, I have no future left for me, and a past I desperately wish to forget.
I have no life at all, no reason to continue pursuing one, and all the mistakes I’ve made and the opportunities I’ve missed out on haunt my every night.
Sometimes, when I’m in bed at night trying to sleep, I desperately pray to God to please let me redo my life, let me wake up in the past, to […]
Everyone always says suicide isn’t the answer. Well I wanna know what’s the better answer? I have a good life: I’m in college, I have a job, no bills to pay, and I have a 4 month old niece who is the most awesome baby ever. Yet no matter what l am never happy and even worse I always feel empty inside. Nothing excites me, I always feel alone no matter where I am, and I can’t do anything to change it no matter how hard I try!! So you tell me, what’s the better answer to my problems? I don’t even care about being […]
I think I am totally a worthless being, and I really believe that if I die, this world will even become a slightly better place. pretending to be a normal person is hard and painful for me, I feel like everyday I have to go through is a endless torment till my death, I feel like I’m walking on a mine field, but I don’t wanna get blown up. I’m cynic, impatient, hypocritical and boring, these traits are ingrained in my soul , I won’t be able to get rid of them until I die, because I still need them to survive, to extend my […]
you know this world is truely fucked up.I cant wait til my next time to off myself.I came so close to death a couple days and i got scared as hell that i was probably die.Now i realize maybe dying and fear is a natural thing you experience when you die.Theres no way as darkness starts to cover you that you wouldnt want to turn back no matter what you say.Anyway i took twelve sleeping pills and they saved my ass.The psychiatrist is like are you going to be safe to go home and i told her not at the second but in a week […]
Mostly, I can deal with the day to day bullshit of this world, and for the most part I manage to stay positive, which is almost impossible in this fucked up world we live in. I HATE IT HERE! Believe it or not, one of my major roles in life, is encouraging people…and Im damned good at it. I do what I do because I have a deep love for humanity, I feel your pain, and I HATE IT HERE…so if I must be here, let me do all I can to help and encourage others. It hurts my heart to see good people suffering […]
I rememeber growing up, I knew (or thought I did) that I would never attempt to kill myself or even think about the thought of doing that. It’s crazy how that all changed.
I had been depressed for about two months when I watched Lana Del Rey’s “Summertime Sadness” video. It spoke to me so much, and made me realize how broken I was. I rememeber watching both her and the other girl jump off from a cliff and building, and that was the first time I thought about suicide …
IÂ thought, how wonderful it would feel to be falling and feeling so free in those few moments. Free from all […]
hia all here to speak about the illness that we all share. i dont believe you are sane or honest if you have not considered suicide. the main reason iv come on here is because in the last few days iv attempted to reach out to many of my acquaintances about life suffering and the torrent of
suicidal thoughts that seem to follow any serious self-contemplation im capable of. Notability i’ve come to the realize that the contemplation of limitations lead to suicidal thoughts even if its just for the duration of one class, being bound to a desk while an innocent teacher attempts to […]
Suppose you had a plan A and a plan B. Plan A is the best thing that ever happened to you. Plan B is suicide. And for months plan A is coming along great. And then suddenly plan A is taken from you. Wiped out of existence. Then plan B starts to look nice and nicer. I mean, plan B was always there right? Always at the back of your mind anyway, so why not? Why not? And plan B has a definite date. And it’s coming soon. You have it all planned. Yet, you’re still holding on to plan A deep in your […]
I just keep thinking about suicide. I don’t explicitly have a plan yet, but I have a general idea of what to do. I know we aren’t allowed to talk about this on the board, but even if we were, I’m not sure if I want my mind changed and I don’t want to be stopped. I told myself I’d give myself until I turned 30, but that seems overly generous now. I don’t know when, but I can’t see myself carrying on for that long. I’m not a human being. If I were, I’d feel loved and worthwhile. There would be a point to […]
Hello all,
I am a 27 year old mentally disabled male that is good for nothing. I grew up in special education services but somehow managed to graduate college with a bachelors degree. My job sucks, i work in an office all day literally staring at my computer like a zombie and cannot hold a conversation with anyone. Everyone at my office knows i’m a disabled fuck and laughs at me. I feel so humiliated walking into that building every day. I have also been battling severe depression over the course of the last 9 years or so and have never had control over my […]
It may be that being able to actually say what is on my mind may help. Therapy never has. Does anyone out there believe that loosing ones best friend to suicide at 19 allows one to continue to be a depressed and suicidal person at the age of 52?
last year i was diagnosed with anorexia, i fought it but things have got worse. i told two people about it and they helped, but now my best friend at school, ditches me for some skank, and i was crying because i hate my skin, i hate being in this body. and i left the class, and the skank started making it about her, omg this, omg that, she jealous of me and blah blah, so i hated the way she did that, and when im crying im just thinking about suicide. this has happened for the last 2 days, and now my so called […]
I posted something the other day, but it really didn’t explain my ‘history’ as people are calling it.
Hey. I’m Adrienne. People call me Addie. I’m almost 18. I have a great family (except my dad). I put a shitload of pressure on myself. I have been cutting myself for about 6 years. It got pretty hard-core during the last 3 years. I don’t do it to feel alive, per se; I do it to punish myself for anything I can think of, or if I just feel depressed. I have attempted suicide twice, both times failing (obviously). I have been seriously considering doing it again, […]
“It’s dying, It’s dying!” They all cry,
Your heart got far too close to mine,
And now it’s ripping, breaking inside,
My body breathes a sigh of relief as it’s time.
I can hear it in the wind, I can feel it on my skin,
“Just one more time, you’ll feel much better ” I can’t let these voices in.
“Please don’t desert us, we were always there for you,
On those lonely nights when you were lost and didn’t know who to turn to.
Self harm? No harm! What harm can it do? They take me away cause they know it hurts you.”
Now she’s […]
I’ve just tried to commit suicide 4 times in 2 and a half weeks, I’ve manged to put this off for a year and a half now but also i self harm i have for 3 years, my boyfriend knows and has made me promise that i wont do it again but i feel so dead inside i want too, I need to tell someone about this but i feel my family wont support me and my boyfriend has to much to deal with at the moment, i don’t feel i can tell my other friends as another one has wanted to, she also self harmed so […]
“We Only Arrive At Ourselves In A Freely Chosen Death” Jean Améry
by Bodhisattva
written by Bodhisattva
“I have tried to view it from the interior of those who call themselves suicidal or suicidesâ€.
( Words from Jean Améry )
I just wanted to recommend this book which i know will be of interest to many of you,
I have found it quite difficult & frustrating to find serious, intelligent & quality critiques or books on other point’s of view about Suicide & this subject overall, as all i keep becoming drowned in is only the fucking Utilitarianism & Christian Inspired Philosophy which is very annoying & frustrating,
Anyway i hope some of you will check it […]
I am fourteen years old.
I have depression, I am bipolar, I have borderline personality.
I take medication for what doctors have diagnosed me with.
I do not let these diagnostics define me.
I’m a past self-harmer. I’ve attempted suicide 4 times in the past 2 years.
I was admitted into the hospital for destroying my home, and attempting to end my life.
I’ve attempted to OD on Tylenols, and Ibuprofen.
I didn’t take enough, I woke up in the morning, with a raw throat, unable to swallow and eat.
I just want you guys to know something. Those who are depressed, feel alone, helpless, just know, IT WILL GET BETTER.
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I started […]