my names shavon. im 15. i feel like one of those people from alcoholics anonymous. but really im suicide anonymous. i tried to commit suicide before. my arms are full of scars. my mom started physically and emotionally abusing me when i was 8. ever since then ive been looking for someone that could help me. nobody in my family helped me. i had a boyfriend named kody. and he used me and took my virginity. i tried to kill myself and he didnt even text me at all while i was in the hospital. i pushed my way through to recovery and got over […]
Tag:
Suicide
had a therapy appointment today. as long as i am still going i guess that is a good thing. my therapist mentioned how scared she would be if i was a no show to an appointment. i told her she should be scared. the pro death part of me is rather insistent. i have come to the realization that i probably will kill myself. the question is when. that i do not know. all the suicide sites say that one should be alarmed if said suicidal person suddenly seems calm or even happy. it means that a decision has been made. well that decision has […]
I was at the age of 12 when the bullying started. It was a group of my now former best friends, who would taunt and ridicule me-leaving the young me to feel loneliness and depression. I thought about suicide a lot at 12.
I went on to middle school, where I became a stereotypical nerd. I had very little friends and would often find myself picked last in gym class (yes, things like this actually happened to nerds lol). In my last year of middle school I made it a mission to stay as invisible as possible-I had several friends, never spoke up in class-and almost […]
I’ve been battling on and off depression and anxiety for three years, but my parents don’t understand, no matter how much I talk to them. I can never get along with them. They fight with each other frequently over different things. Just today my parents were yelling at each other over my brother, who has autism. He couldn’t understand a simple topic, which caused my mother and him to get in a fight and leave her in tears. Then my father came and yelled and her. Then they yelled at each other. Then they both left. This happens a lot, and my mother talks about […]
I feel like the reason I like the suicide project is because I can write my true feelings. Â Usually I keep them bottled up. Â I know my dad has advanced diabetes and my mom just lost her mom and then her little sister and she feels helpless so I cant really tell them “hey I have serious depression, I lay in the fetal position and cry and wish for it to be over” Â That doesnt help them. Â So I try to keep going and then what happens my sister starts a fight with me over shit that has nothing to do with me. Â So I […]
Alright so, I may be young but I feel like I’ve gone through a lot. I feel tired of life. I’ve thought about commiting suicide so many times but I look into my future. I have a lot to go through. But anywho, the reason why I feel like this is because of my family, especially my mother. For a long time now, its turned into an everyday thing to argue. My mother makes me feel like im nothing. Wishing for me to not be her daughter, and regreting to have me. Im not good enough, I don’t do anything right. All I do is […]
I have lost the will to live it takes alot to make me smile and hardly anything to upset me. I have no energy anymore have lost intrest in my favirote things. I first started starveing myself around age 16 because i always felt fat, ugly and stupid comared to everyone eles. Ill go a couple days without eating then give in and consume a sick amount of food only to feel horrible afterwards. Food is an enemy i regret every meal i eat.
Self hatred has caused me to cut myself which turned into an everyday vice. Iv developed a blood lust waiting and […]
It has come to my attention that a particular person has been cyber bullying young girls on this site, i have no way of knowing if it is particular disclosed to this site alone or not, but here- in it is a big issue on here. and there maybe a lot of people on here doing it, i have no way of knowing. so i am going to write this purely on the facts that i have accumulated over a set period of time. this said person be-friends these girls and convinces them to talk privately with him or to play online games with him, […]
does anybody know that alone feeling ? that feeling of feeling worthless the feeling of wanting to cry all the time because you are lost you dont know where you belong. you try to smile and laugh try to pretend to be happy but deep down inside you are screaming out screaming to be heard for them to see that all you long for is a hug that will make you feel so safe. crying these tears for no apparent reason, i feel empty i am a walking dead soul i look in the mirror and i dont see who i am . i see […]
dear AtTheEnd- im not going to judge you, seriously i dont judge you. being on a site like this with some many pretty girls does drive ones libido up, and yes its nice to look at the nude body of someone you know. and hey i flirt around and act a perv, and yeah i have had people send me nude pics. but i didnt pester them as much as i have heard you have done. and until recently i thought you were only doing it to one girl but now i know you have done it to several and probably still are. WT and […]
I have an empty, but knotted feeling in my stomach. It almost makes me want to cry. I’m being constantly ignored when I need to talk. It’s almost as if I want to talk to someone, no ones here. The more I write, the more I get that feeling. I hate it. I can’t say why though. Why I’m so, so.. I don’t know. I just want to die. If life just stays in a negative path, what’s the point of living. I’m known as one of the oldest veterans on Suicide Projects, maybe I won’t be a veteran anymore..
Over a year ago I lost my sister to suicide and I still don’t get why she did it. She did not leave a note and I don’t remember there being any sign of her wanting to kill herself. It was not the first time she had attempted to kill herself, in fact it was the 3rd time. The kicker of it all though is that each time she attempted I was the one who found her.
They always say that God doesn’t give you more than you can handle but I don’t want to handle this, I’d rather have her here […]
Pat Engebrecht penned this book about her daughter who committed suicide 25 years ago. Her daughter LauraJo, aged 29, was a closet homosexual and had severe long term mental illness diagnosed as Borderline Personality Disorder. Mom Pat took a collection of LauraJo’s journal entries and then comments back to her daughter and the reader. From Pat’s vantage parents are erroneously blamed for their children’s troubles and this is wrong. Pat wants other parents, grappling with guilt over their mentally ill children, to realize, as she does, that they are not the problem.
For sale:Â https://www.createspace.com/3605803
Someone please read, give me any advice you can. I am in desperate need of it.
by helplessles
written by helplessles
This is going to be long, I apologize in advance. I guess I can start by saying I am a 16 year old girl, although I hardly resemble a girl, and very depressed. I have been depressed for almost 2 years. I self harm, but cutting usually, I’ll pull my hair in the extremely emotionally painful moments, or I’ll pinch my arms. Its been a year since I have posted here, but I’m in need of some type of empathy. My family on a scale from 1-10, is a good strong 7.5, we have our fights, but i generally thing we all do love one and […]
how much pain do people expect me to endure? they talk to me as if i should have an infinite threshold. i lost 3 people last month. my partner Brynn. he was also my dom/master. so for people who are part of that lifestyle. they know how hard it is to lose your partner from that kind of relationship. he left me in fucking pieces. he broke down all my walls, i let him in. i trusted him. and he abused it all, and left me a broken mess…and he didn’t even fucking care. then two friends that we shared….decided they liked/love him more and […]
Hi,
My name is Corey. Â I’m 29 years old and because I have no job and no money, the only choice I have right now is to live with my Grandma and Grandpa. Â I’m at a point in my life where I have no idea what to do anymore. Â I have no job (thus no money) and no prospect of a job. Â Nowadays when I actually have the motivation to go looking for work, I never get any callbacks due to having such a poor record with jobs (I tend to quit jobs frequently and have long gaps in my employment record). Â I’m constantly depressed and […]
Suicide just ain’t my style. But I feel I have no other choice in the matter really….
written by tupacorbiggie
I wish I could live a full happy life. Â You know, get married, have kids and all that jazz. Â But I don’t think it’s feasible. Â I think I need to end things soon and stop delaying the inevitable. Â Thoughts?
I finally decided after almost a year to seek some help again. The doctor had a cancellation and was able to bump me up for today rather than two weeks from now. While talking i realized that I can’t open up. I’m always vague when i try leaving the doctor to be vague as well which only pisses me off. Why do I expect the impossible of others to see that I am dying inside? Either dying or slowly going insane. I can’t be left alone anymore. Every time I’m alone the worst comes out. I lose all sense of reality which drives me insane […]
I feel so unsure about my life at the moment and I don’t know why.
I don’t know what to do after school and I am generally unsure about myself.
I am a 17, soon 18, year old male and I feel pretty much useless at the moment.
I have a great family and I don’t want to hurt them. I know that suicide will hurt them a lot because my uncle did it not too long ago…
I have never seen my grand parents so sad as they were after that. I just can’t stand the thought of doing that to my parents.
But at […]
I keep struggling with reality. The worst part is I have no one to talk to– no friends, only acquaintances. I wonder what would happen if I just start freaking out in middle of a lecture. Screaming and what not… I’m afraid that I want to do that so much that I’ll realize I’m actually doing it, and not just fantasizing about it.
I wonder what it’s like in a mental hospital. Do I belong in one? If I poured each and every though out of my head to someone will they ship me off? I think I would like it in one of those […]