Tag:

trying

The past couple of days have been great

by nicole123 2/2/2016

written by nicole123

The past couple of days have been really good for me.

I’ve been hanging out with some childhood friends again and surrounding myself with great people.

I’ve been trying not to put myself down as much, and if i catch myself doing so then i try to focus on something else like music.

I’ve been training for my new job. I’m excited. It’s going to be better than what i thought.

I’m just trying to look on the bright side of life. I spend too much time being pessimistic. And life is wasted if the only thing you do is feeling pessimistic.

I know i’ll have bad days […]

2/2/2016 4 comments

Do I want to live no but im still trying my best and proud of myself.

by deadmanliving(hopefullyhopeful) 2/2/2016

written by deadmanliving(hopefullyhopeful)

Am i perfect not at all. I wish i had more exciting imperfections besides bitterness and anger but it is what it is. If there was such thing as a sure suicide method I’d probably do it. Hanging doesn’t work well and the dam near me doesnt have a convenient way to the drop. Also its survivable imo. I had a gun once. I was scared of vegitating myself so i didn’t do it. I would have fucked up the shot. You get nervous with a gun. I’m mad i was ever born still. But do i always see a hopeless loser in the mirror? […]

2/2/2016 6 comments

SICK: EMOTIONALLY + PHYSICALLY.

by GTSuicide_6 2/1/2016

written by GTSuicide_6

I may be suicidal, but most importantly, it was this year when I got full on serious about it.

In other news I think I’m getting a fever.

Look, of course in the past I was suicidal and got a fever too, but this is different.

This year I am serious. And being sick right now is not what I am needing.

Urgh I just can’t take this. Why today? What the hell? I got a whole lotta stress too in school, right AFTER finishing the exams.Its just the most difficult to be seriously suicidal and get a cold because what the hell I want to die now more […]

2/1/2016 12 comments

Him

by Moneypenny 1/31/2016

written by Moneypenny

So here is another part of my story. I was a virgin until a year ago. I had never have a bf or kissed a guy or even touch one in a close way. But some people told me I should try sleeping with someone to at least know how it felt. Because I am an old woman and so. and i thought I shouldn’t die without at least kissing someone. It sounds stupid as I write it.

So I followed suite as my brother was on tinder and I opened a profile there. I don’t know where people get to know other people but i […]

1/31/2016 10 comments

Protected: Today’s one of those days where I feel like everybody’s laughing behind my back.

by whiskered-fish 1/31/2016

written by whiskered-fish

There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.

1/31/2016 9 comments

Trying to hold on…

by The White Rabbit 1/31/2016

written by The White Rabbit

I’m trying to keep it together here… I feel like life is just bearing down as hard as it can right now without outright killing me in some torturous way. Yesterday I found out that my sister, my best and… pretty much only real friend in life has a cyst near her brain that’s pressing against it and causing bleeding. She went to Seattle by EM Transport last night and I talked to her for a while on Facebook but… I just wish I could be there with her.

Not a day earlier I talked with… the best guy I know. A guy I’ve had a […]

1/31/2016 5 comments

Cheated my dignified death in a Valero parking lot

by ibidem 1/30/2016

written by ibidem

My car destroyed, glasses and phone broken, and me bleeding all over the fucking pavement mistaking a concussion and shock for dying.

It was such a relief. Except then I didn’t die. Not even close. And everyone tells me it’s a miracle and all that matters is I’m here. What can you say to that? “I feel so lucky and grateful for your care. You mean everything to me. And yet, somehow despite all of that I continue to actively seek and desire death, even knowing how much it will hurt you.”

I haven’t tried to kill myself in eight years because the last time ruined everything and […]

1/30/2016 5 comments

this is it

by rubdoo50 1/28/2016

written by rubdoo50

Spent $250 today on supplies for my exit.
Have booked in a days leave from work in two days time so I have the whole night and day by myself to pull this off.
I have tried before & failed. It was painful and i dont want to go through that again.
The method Ive chosen this time should be painless if all goes to plan.
Thoughts of my family keep trying to push their way into my brain, but I keep pushing them out . I know they will be OK & I know I simply can’t go on being me.
I’m a […]

1/28/2016 29 comments

Up and down and up and down… Fuck this.

by The White Rabbit 1/28/2016

written by The White Rabbit

For three days I was all excited… the guy I really like told me that he’d give me a chance… if… I weren’t suicidal.

SO! I took that thought an ran with it. I applied for college after having the app on my desk for about a month, and started feeling more chipper. I rewired my room as I’ve been planning, sent out orders for my shop, etc.. I was genuinely on the up-and-up for about three days. until today…

Today I see him, say hi, and he doesn’t even acknowledge my existence. Likely busy or having issues of his own no doubt, so I don’t blame […]

1/28/2016 7 comments

Wasted

by just_lonely 1/28/2016

written by just_lonely

The empty bottles have been scattered over the bedroom floor. The fridge, filled with sealed bottles that are ready to be drunk. The temptation of just grabbing a bottle after one bottle that has been emptied is too strong. He throws the emptied bottle across the room because he’s forgotten where the trash goes. He can only find the winding way to the liquor. He’s forgotten about the world. He’s been too lost in his own world to deal with the real world. His pain and desires just don’t match up anymore. Nothing is enough. His cravings and his sorrows deepens him with every step […]

1/28/2016 2 comments

stream of conciousness

by jasal 1/27/2016

written by jasal

everyone tells me to be better. to be a functional human being. to be normal. is it so hard for them to see i can’t? what normal person sleeps constantly, isolates themselves in their room, goes the whole day without eating or speaking to anyone?? but they think it’s because i’m lazy, selfish. normally i am not one to feel sorry for myself regarding my mental illnesses, but they fucking exist. they exist, and they’re crippling me right now, but instead of anyone trying to help, they demonize me and wish i wasn’t such a burden on them. don’t they understand i stay away so […]

1/27/2016 4 comments

Decisions made

by Alumina 1/27/2016

written by Alumina

I made a decision as the clock turned midnight on new years if this year doesn’t pick up I don’t see a point in playing
this game anylonger, I might even quit sooner, Im 17 and my life is hell. I thought my life was going to pick up and finally go my way. I got a job interview, I applied for some TAFE courses and I was three weeks ahead on rent. Then christmas came around, I was kicked out and my rent returned (thankfully) I spent christmas packing, they gave me a week to leave (which Im pretty sure is against the law but whatever). I […]

1/27/2016 4 comments

Charity

by 200085 1/26/2016

written by 200085

My grandmother just calld me and was talking to me about getting a bunch of stuff for me. Im sure for a lot of people its easy to just say ok and take it, but there has to be other people here who feel differently. Not just because of pride but also because its like dealing with a double eged sword. If you dont take it your pretty much offending the person whos trying to help you, but if you do take it then your a pathetic charity case who just acts this way to get what they want out of people. I know im […]

1/26/2016 1 comment

mornings

by evildandelions 1/25/2016

written by evildandelions

Mornings seem to be the worst.

At any rate I’m feeling upset, angry? that not just that my ex gave up on us, but that she (probably, I might be simply imagining that she feels that way) believes she had no choice. That there was no chance for us. That we (she?) wasn’t healthy enough.

I don’t believe this at all. I do not believe my being depressed and anxious means I can’t be in a relationship, or have a healthy one. My ex and I had this one issue, serious enough for her to leave me, but- even she said this- we were amazing in every other […]

1/25/2016 2 comments

trying to find some hope in either to succeed in dying or getting over it

by Varisha 1/23/2016

written by Varisha

I recently broke up.. and its my 2nd break up n in both relationship’s I was very serious.. when I had my 1st breakup my friend , helped me to get over it.. and I fell for him.. and also he lykd me so he took great care of me n helped a lot to move on.. and eventually I started lying him and loving him.. I don’t knw whether it was wrong or right.. I loved him.. and I loved him a lot.. more than I have loved anyone ever.. but he left.. even though he knew I would be devastated, he knew how broken […]

1/23/2016 4 comments

A strange craving

by thisislife 1/22/2016

written by thisislife

I’m not mean, but I’m truthful.

I’m not crazy, I’m just unconventional.

I’m not alive, although I’m not dead.

I’m not depressed, however I am in pain.

I’m in pain because I’m conflicted. Why? Because I love dragging the sharp blade across my skin. The way it stings, the way my blood drips, the way it makes me feel.

Every once and a while, my cravings increase to a point of concern. It’s not longer just hurting myself by the pocket knife I keep by my bedside, it’s wondering what it would feel like to crash my car into a tree. What it would feel like to fall off of […]

1/22/2016 3 comments

Protected: So much for trying to be positive.

by whiskered-fish 1/21/2016

written by whiskered-fish

There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.

1/21/2016 8 comments

I AM SORRY (AVISGONE)

by avisgone 1/21/2016

written by avisgone

I am sorry if you truly know me and you are reading this. If you know me, you might have known this would happen but within the next few days, I am planing to kill myself. Why? I can’t deal with whats going on in my head.

1/21/2016 8 comments

I made a mistake

by Lawli 1/20/2016

written by Lawli

So tonight I was bored and everyone on a forums I hang out on was logged of so I went down to our living room and sat with my parents; that was the mistake.

The result was my Dad being sexist and complaining and dissing people constantly, both parent complaining and looking down on me and my brother. They both started lecturing us and they never say anything good about anyone. My head ended up getting messed up and I started to panic so I left, trying to act casual. I felt so stuffed after that I ended up cutting myself and even more than usual, […]

1/20/2016 3 comments

Protected: Kat almost wakes up the whole house.

by whiskered-fish 1/20/2016

written by whiskered-fish

There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.

1/20/2016 3 comments

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